tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68980253428457780582024-03-24T05:44:25.122+11:00Merle's Third TryMerlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.comBlogger855125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-67582410132391846362014-05-23T16:43:00.002+10:002014-05-23T16:57:50.279+10:00Gone but never forgotten<div>
Hello everyone.... </div>
<div>
Saturday the 24th May would of been Merle's 80th birthday... </div>
<div>
Unfortunately she is gone, but never forgotten... </div>
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I just thought I would share this with all of her friends in her computer. </div>
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To celebrate how much I love her, and miss her, I got a tattoo that reminds me of her.</div>
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I hope that she would like it, as it know she loved purple, and butterfly's and the saying is on a pillow she gave me. But she always said she was waiting for my other tattoos to wash off.. Lol</div>
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<br></div>
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Hope everything is going great in all of your lives, thank you again for all of your kind words and wishes.</div>
<div>
Cheers Bec</div>
<div><br></div>
<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZ7KQ_FBblyN-ii7gibwr1xB3G__J_hNFZsyAuvm8mSR6_n2IKiVZkjAob1X7Le225F1YSx4cGBODe-qKppDAntoUcFiX_AXdsBLOjXzbg4ll4Ba7Iy61f94vTg0art5aDgBiqG_kThk/s640/blogger-image-11571404.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZ7KQ_FBblyN-ii7gibwr1xB3G__J_hNFZsyAuvm8mSR6_n2IKiVZkjAob1X7Le225F1YSx4cGBODe-qKppDAntoUcFiX_AXdsBLOjXzbg4ll4Ba7Iy61f94vTg0art5aDgBiqG_kThk/s640/blogger-image-11571404.jpg"></a></div>Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-31533508464670938032014-02-08T22:02:00.000+11:002014-02-08T22:02:01.405+11:00Merle's last goodbye.Hello to all of Merle's friends, its Peter here and I'm afraid that I am the bearer of some very bad news, my dear sister Merle passed away today, quite suddenly but fortunately peacefully.<br />
During my last conversation with her Merle told me that she had had enough and was just waiting to die, while this surprised me at the time I now see that having made peace with those of us she cared most about she simply shut down her resistance and allowed the inevitable to happen.<br />
We are hoping for one last miracle, that is that her funeral can be arranged for Tuesday 11th February so that I can attend before my surgery booked for Thursday 13th February, to those who may not know about this, its the reversal of my colonoscopy after my encounter with bowel cancer last year.<br />
To any of you who followed her blog and/or facebook please know that you enriched her life with the joy she got from her "internet friends" we had many discussions about how deeply we both felt about those "friends" we had never met and in most cases never expected to meet.<br />
The world is a much better place because Merle spent time in it, not enough time , but then I guess that always applies.<br />
Thank you for the pleasure you gave to Merle.<br />
Rest In Peace.<br />
<br />
Peter.<br />
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-42380022685082930472014-01-19T19:25:00.002+11:002014-01-19T19:25:52.382+11:00January 2014 update....Hey everyone, it's Merle's granddaughter Bec again...<br />
Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated you all... Time flies..<br />
I hope everyone had a great Christmas and thanksgiving and New Year's Eve...<br />
<br />
I was unsure of what to write so I've stolen a paragraph from Peter's blog <a href="http://holtieshouse.blogspot.com.au/" target="_blank">http://holtieshouse.blogspot.com.au</a> (I hope that's ok Uncle Peter....)<br />
<br />
"<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was hot enough today to melt some fairly extensive sections of new bitumen on the motorway as I drove to Shepparton to visit again with my sister Merle, she is in the Shepparton Private Hospital waiting on a placement in respite at a nursing home, she has finally conceded that she is unable to look after herself at home so the move into respite will become permanent when a suitable room becomes available.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Merle has succumbed to Dementia over the last few months, its sad to see her repeating the same things over and over and with a fairly serious case of the “Oh Dears” which she prefaces almost everything with, “Oh Dear… I didn’t sleep well last night etc.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I know she does appreciate all of your kind words and prayers.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Thankyou all for caring </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Cheers Bec</span></div>
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-80850017261140213702013-09-10T16:38:00.002+10:002013-09-10T16:38:57.628+10:00No news is good news....<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">Hello everyone, it's Bec, Merle's granddaughter again - sorry its been awhile since you received an update on Merle. I was hoping she would post something herself... </span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">
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However I spoke with her just the other day and she is in good health and feeling pretty good.</div>
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I am not sure how to put it... Merle is doing pretty good, although her memory is a little jumbled up.... She does have good days and bad days, but all in all she is feeling good.</div>
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Her eyesight is failing her and she can't really see much. She told me she is booking in to have cataract surgery in the near future, so here's hoping she will be able to see much better soon and hopefully post again.<br />
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<br /></div>
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Thanks to you all for your well wishes and comments. </div>
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I know she is very grateful to you all. As am I.</div>
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Also if you are Facebook friends with Merle, she kinda doesn't remember that she even has a Facebook page.. So I don't think she will be looking at her page anytime soon, but I do try to pass on your comments when I can.</div>
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Thanks again,</div>
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Cheers Bec</div>
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-55505993794517507122013-05-22T14:37:00.000+10:002013-05-22T14:37:31.838+10:00Happy Birthday<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: red;">Happy Birthday To You </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: red;">Happy Birthday To You </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: red;">Happy Birthday Dear Merle</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: red;">Happy Birthday To You </span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Wow.... 79 Years Young on May 24, eligible for the OBE next Year,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(Over Bloody Eighty).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm hoping that when Merle reads the instruction on her birthday card to check Blog for a surprise it might tempt her to write something????</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The offer to proof read it and correct any typos still stands Merle if that concerns you, although I'm sure your Readers/friends would forgive them anyway</span>.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Hope Your Birthday is a happy one and that some, or all, of your family will celebrate it with you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Much Love... Peter.</span>Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-34614895394715395192013-05-12T17:30:00.000+10:002013-05-12T17:30:27.547+10:00Happy Mothers Day to Allquick update from Bec again.<br />
<br />
I'm sure Merle would want to wish everyone a Happy Mothers Day.<br />
<br />
She is doing well, but just can't seem to muster up enough energy to turn on her laptop and get back into blogging, at this stage.<br />
I know she does miss all her friends in her computer.<br />
<br />
As a little grandmothers day present from me, I printed out all the previous posts from her blog that Peter and I have posted for her, as well as all of your lovely comments and made a book for her... so hopefully when Australia Post delivers it, she will be able to see how much love and prayers have been sent her way.<br />
<br />
I do thank everyone for your lovely comments and thoughts.<br />
Hopefully Merle will be back blogging before we know it.<br />
<br />
Cheers Bec Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-28714446262001783422013-04-20T18:39:00.001+10:002013-04-20T18:39:49.477+10:00Another sneaky update on MerleHi everyone, it's Bec again. (Merle's Granddaughter)<br />
<br />
Merle is going good, still at home, although time is running away from her and the days seem to pass slower to her than they really are.... (Hope that makes sense!)<br />
<br />
I honestly wasn't sure how to put it into words, so I've stolen a paragraph from Peter's blog...<br />
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"For any of you who read this and are my sister Merle's friends I'm sad to say I think her blogging days might be over, she is quite well in herself but can't summon up the energy to get back to blogging, this is sad because she really loved her blog and the circle of friends she made from it."<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm still hoping she will eventually post another blog herself....<br />
<br />
I pass on your kinds words and lovely thoughts. So thankyou on behalf of Merle.<br />
Thanks to you all for caring.<br />
Cheers BecMerlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-5722229504611151902013-03-28T19:33:00.003+11:002013-03-29T12:25:42.195+11:00Another sneaky updateHello everyone, It's Merle's granddaughter Bec again.<br />
<br />
Merle is doing pretty good, but she is still trying to get into a routine.<br />
When I last spoke to her, she was in good spirits and doing a few jobs around her house each day.<br />
Although she isn't updating you all herself, her days are filled up with eating and sleeping and not much else. but I keep telling her that it's ok to just relax and take it easy.<br />
<br />
I'm sure she misses you all and is very grateful for all your kind words and best wishes.<br />
<br />
Peter seems to be handling his treatment, although he is just taking it one day at a time..<br />
<br />
Here's hoping Merle can update you all herself soon.<br />
<br />
Thanks for all your beautiful comments.<br />
<br />
A very happy Easter to you all<br />
Cheers Bec<br />
<br />
<br />Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-40253446962692694592013-03-13T21:01:00.000+11:002013-03-13T21:01:37.270+11:00Another update on MerleHi everyone, it's Bec again (Merle's granddaughter)<br />
<br />
I'm being sneaky and posting this as I'm guessing you all are missing Merle and its been awhile since I last updated you all.<br />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Here's hoping I don't get into trouble posting this, I'm only doing it cos I love you Grandma :)</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
Good news - Merle is home at last... Yay... I have spoken with her a few times and she loves being home and slowly trying to get back into a routine again.. As yet she hasn't had the energy to do much other then eat and sleep and watch some TV. Hence why she isn't updating you all herself.<br />
<br />
Thank you all for your kind words and prays.<br />
I reckon it won't be too long before Merle is posting jokes and updating you all herself.<br />
<br />
Cheers Bec :)Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-19143749371202588042013-02-23T15:57:00.000+11:002013-02-23T15:57:13.764+11:00Update on Merle Hello all - quick update on Merle - (this is Bec, her granddaughter).<br />
<br />
Merle is in good spirits and feeling much better.<br />
Fingers crossed, she will be home in a few weeks time.<br />
<br />
Merle says thank you to you all for all your well wishes and prayers.<br />
<br />
Merle asks if you could you please extend your wishes and prayers to her brother Peter, who has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer and is going through treatment at the moment.<br />
<br />
Thank you all for your love and support.<br />
Bec, on behalf of Merle.Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-30109005814284729282013-02-03T20:46:00.002+11:002013-02-03T20:46:26.045+11:00RespiteWell its Saturday night which is when Merle would write her weekly post if she was at home, so here is another brief update, she moved into a lovely room at Waratah Lodge at Moroopna (a sister city to Shepparton) and is booked in there for probably 2 weeks and then hopefully home.<br />
Speaking of which I'm about half way home to Gympie Queensland only another 600 kms , so any news in future posts will have to filter down to me from Victoria.<br />
Take heart in the fact that she is feeling very well and quite upbeat so that should help in her recovery.<br />
<br />
Peter.Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-11963736799365268152013-01-26T19:19:00.001+11:002013-01-26T19:19:12.883+11:00Update<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Update</span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;">Here is the latest on Merle's </span>health, she has had the "pacemaker" installed, if that's the correct terminology, and the initial response seems to be the one we hoped for, she both looks and feels much better.<br />
Now if her two weeks in respite can give her the chance to build up her strength she should be able to move back into her own home where she will feel much happier and confident.<br />
I have passed on your good wishes, for which we both thank you, and with a little luck she will be able to use her laptop in the respite location????<br />
<br />
Peter.Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-58957489990259169772013-01-23T16:41:00.000+11:002013-01-23T16:41:08.330+11:00it only takes a heartbeatHi all, its Peter here again and again I'm the bearer of bad news, Merle is back in hospital but this time we are hopeful of a better outcome, she is being fitted with a pacemaker to sort out her irregular heat beat, in the best of cases this can be an almost magical cure-all, so that's the one we're hoping for.<br />
I'll pass on any information as we get it, thanks for caring!Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-8537276912207848952013-01-14T01:23:00.000+11:002013-01-14T01:23:08.518+11:00Daddy's Car in the Woods..Post 814 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 13th January, 20 13.<br />
<br />
Hello my friends, Well I am making a late start on Sunday night, so be warned. This may be<br />
a short post. Who knows???<br />
<br />
First I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives my friends. There is always something to learn every day and most of us have had time to make some great memories<br />
so let us enjoy them while we may.<br />
<br />
I have had cause to remember the past as I had a visit from my brother Peter which was great and we relaxed andcaught up with recent doings and laughing over some old ones.<br />
He came on Wednesday and did I get a shock ??-- no notice of warning. THen John and Kathy came home from the funeral, so the volume increased. These two always got on well.<br />
<br />
Thank you most sincerely to all who sent condolences and words of sympathy. It wa a very long week from the Mondey Laurie died until the next Monday to his Cremation Ceromony, but it felt better after and Julie is doing well and each day sounded better She is still grieving but "you gotta do what you gotta do" she quoted at me many times. I have been<br />
asked many times over the years how I coped at different times ---Well I didn't have any<br />
choice You just manage to take the hand that is dealt to us.<br />
<br />
It was great to see Peter and to spend a few days together, and he is going to call again on his way home towards the end of the month. I hardly went to sleep while he was here, so I need to be entertained it seems. It helped having someone to talk to.<br />
<br />
Well I had better find a few stories or jokes now my friends.<br />
<br />
<br />
Well the jokes will have to wait as I can hardly see what is inn the screen and I am cold<br />
and tired (what's new??) Have to eat and take tablets and get to bed. will try to put some<br />
jokes on through the week.<br />
<br />
Take great care my friends and look after yourselves and each other. My love qnd best<br />
wishwa to you all. Cheers, Merle.<br />
<br />
Post 814 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 13th January, 2013.<br />
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-43394028274269767062013-01-08T20:51:00.002+11:002013-01-08T20:51:48.138+11:00My Mother Said To Me.<br />
<br />
<br />
Post 813 ~~Tuesday, 8th January, 2013<br />
<br />
Hello My Friends ~~ A bit late for my Sunday post as I have had a few computer problems<br />
And also have had a horrible week, so please forgive me.<br />
<br />
My son-in-law passed away after a long illness with kidney problems and my poor daughter<br />
is devastated and you can't imagine how sad I have been to hear her small voice and how<br />
she can't sleep as for four years she has slept with one ear cocked to listen for her husband<br />
so now maybe she can sleep, from sheer exhaustion. His funeral was yesterday and went off well with lots of hugs and crying together. Plenty from myself for my Julie. Her husband was in agony so that pain will be gone now thankfully. RIP Laurie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">First item tonight is from Mountain Wings.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"> </span></span></span><br />
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My Mother Said To Me
=====================
My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a
general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope."
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
~Pablo Picasso~--</span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><><> </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">Another from Mountain Wings Called ~~ Tomorrow</span> ~~ </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> A bit late for this year and was meant to be an earlier post which</span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I missed posting. Sorry my friends ---Let's pretend. </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span>Tomorrow begins a new year. It's really just another day.
Nothing changes really.</pre>
Most will continue on the path that they
are on. Many will make New Year's resolutions<br />
and the vast
majority of them will be broken by Valentine's Day.<br />
<br />
Today is my birthday. It's a special day but it's really just
another day. I will continue on the path that I've been on for
years. I'm trying to improve, which is the path that I've been
on<br />
<br />
<br />
That's the path that I shall continue to be on.
If you are not where you think you should be, I would not
suggest that you try to change things tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Why...because that
is what most other people will do and they do it simply because
it's supposedly a special day. Your change of path will only
come when either you make up your mind that you are going on a
new path because you are determined to change OR the pain
becomes unbearable on the current path.<br />
<br />
The problem with the
latter is that once the pain eases you often return to the old
path.
The true BIRTHday is the day that you move from one path to
another one (a better one) and stay on it.
When that day comes mark it down on your calendar, for that day
is really the special one.<br />
<><><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">And another from Mountain Wings</span><br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">Kids Advice on Love and Marriage
=================================
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out
later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
by then.
* Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at.
You got to be a fool to get married.
* Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns.
* Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.
* Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing.
I'm never going to have sex with my wife.
I don't want to be all grossed out.
* Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
* Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
*Kelvin, age 8
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty,
even if she looks like a truck.
*Ricky, age 10</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Well my brother has arrived and was a big surprise, but I cannot concentrate, so again I must apologize and hope to do better next week. I hope you are all well and enjoying your lives my </pre>
<pre wrap="">friends. My love and best wishes to you all Cheers, Merle.</pre>
<pre wrap="">
</pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Post 813, Tuesday, 8th January, 22013</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><><> </pre>
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<br />Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-32103816127923921582012-12-23T22:37:00.000+11:002012-12-24T18:55:07.693+11:00Remember this lady<span style="color: red;">Post 812, Sunday, 23 December 2012</span><br />
<br />
Hello My dear friends, ~~<br />
<br />
Back again after a couple of falls 3 days apart.<br />
Apart from the bruise still on my face, I am quite OK, Doctor thinks it is<br />
too much calcium in my body, and cheerfully says I will have more falls<br />
until we can reduce it. So I am hanging on to my walker and the rails in<br />
my home like grim death, so
here's hoping. actually he wasn't joking, he<br />
was quite
concerned as it can be dangerous with my low blood pressure<br />
too.<br />
So that is all that over with.<br />
<br />
How are you all faring ?~~ better than me<br />
I hope and all ready for the big day. I have one son coming on Christmas<br />
Eve and the other for dinner together. on THE day. I forgot to say that<br />
I cannot get up when I fall, so poor John has had two calls and
isn't game<br />
turn off his mobile phone.<br />
<br />
I wish each and everyone a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy,<br />
Healthy and Prosperous New Year in 2013.
I hope it is great for you all.<br />
And thank you for your comments, I am getting through my replies, but<br />
do appreciate them all and your support and Loyalty, We are in for a<br />
VERY hot day tomorrow
~~39 C which is 103 F, so I won't be outside<br />
much.<br />
Better get on to this, as the time goes so quickly.<br />
<br />
First one is the story of a wonderful woman and came from my<br />
good friend Lee.
Thank you Lee.<br />
<br />
Subject: Fwd: Remember this lady<br />
<br />
Irena Sendler
Died: May 12, 2008 (aged 98)
Warsaw, Poland
During WWII,<br />
Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer<br />
specialist. She had an ulterior motive. Irena smuggled Jewish infants out<br />
in the bottom of the tool box she carried. She also carried a burlap sack in<br />
the back of her
truck, for larger kids. Irena kept a dog in the back that<br />
she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto.<br />
The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking<br />
covered the kids/infants noises.<br />
During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500<br />
kids/infants.
Ultimately, she was caught, however, and the Nazi's broke<br />
both of her legs and arms and beat her severely.<br />
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out,<br />
In a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her back yard.<br />
<br />
After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and<br />
tried to reunite the family. Most had been gassed.
Those kids she helped<br />
got placed into foster family homes or adopted.<br />
<br />
In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was not selected.<br />
Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.<br />
Later another politician, Barack Hussein Obama, won for his work as a<br />
community organizer for ACORN.<br />
<br />
In MEMORIAM - 65 YEARS LATER I'm doing my small part by forwarding<br />
this message.
I hope you'll consider doing the same.
It is now more than<br />
65 years since the Second World War in Europe ended.<br />
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain,<br />
In memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million<br />
Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests Who were murdered, massacred,<br />
raped, burned, starved and humiliated!<br />
Now, more than ever, with Iran , and others, claiming the HOLOCAUST<br />
to be 'a myth', It's imperative to make sure the world never forgets,<br />
Because there are others who would like to do it again.
This e-mail is<br />
intended to reach 40 million people worldwide! Join us and be a link in<br />
the memorial chain and help us distribute it around the world.<br />
<br />
Please send this e-mail to people you know and
ask them to continue<br />
the memorial chain.<br />
Please don't just delete it.<br />
It will only take you a minute to pass this along.<br />
<br />
That was quite long but she deserved it, saving so many babies and small<br />
children.<br />
<br />
<><><br />
<br />
Next on is called Ed and Norma. Thank you Jeanette for this.<br />
Subject: Ed and Norma.<br />
<br />
Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year,<br />
And every year Ed would say, " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "<br />
Norma always replied, " I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,<br />
And fifty bucks is fifty bucks!
"<br />
One year Ed and Norma went to the fair,<br />
and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter,<br />
I might never get another chance"<br />
To this, Norma replied, " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty<br />
bucks is fifty bucks"<br />
The pilot overheard the couple and said, " Folks I'll make you a deal.<br />
I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire<br />
ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word<br />
it's fifty dollars.<br />
Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.<br />
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.<br />
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...<br />
When they landed, the pilot turned to<br />
Ed and said, " By golly, I did
everything I could to get you to yell out, but<br />
you didn't.
I'm impressed!
" Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth I<br />
almost said something when Norma fell out, But you know, Fifty bucks is<br />
fifty bucks! "<br />
<><><br />
<br />
Another from Jeanette.<br />
Subject: Fw: A HUG, SMILE AND A LAUGH FROM ME TO YOU.<br />
<br />
While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an<br />
elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's<br />
desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.
Just as I was thinking I should<br />
make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked<br />
over to the wheelchair.<br />
He said, I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too..'<br />
<br />
*****<br />
<br />
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came<br />
into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was<br />
intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was
doing. After<br />
mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but<br />
I don't think she knows how to use them..'<br />
<br />
*****<br />
Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old Granddaughter, Carolyn,<br />
I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your<br />
friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you<br />
do now. Carolyn
shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those<br />
things anyway.'<br />
<br />
******<br />
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving<br />
immunization shots to children.. One day, I entered the examining room<br />
to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.<br />
'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that,<br />
the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!<br />
<br />
******<br />
On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said<br />
to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how<br />
do they get there in the first place?' After my son
hemmed and hawed<br />
awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make<br />
up something, Dad It's okay if you don't know the answer.'<br />
<br />
*****<br />
Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down<br />
and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told<br />
him. 'I'm going to Iraq ..' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a<br />
war going on over there?'<br />
<br />
*****<br />
Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children<br />
stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood Diseases. One afternoon, he and is<br />
wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with
the kids. A<br />
counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know<br />
Newman was a famous movie star, explained, that's the man who made this<br />
camp possible. Maybe you've seen his
picture on his salad dressing bottle?'<br />
Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.'<br />
An eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How long was he missing?'<br />
<br />
*****
.<br />
<br />
.. And my personal favorite ..<br />
God's Problem Now: His wife's graveside service was just barely<br />
finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a<br />
tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder
rumbling<br />
in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,<br />
"Well, she's there."<br />
<br />
A smile - is a sign of joy. A hug - is a sign of love. A laugh - is a sign of<br />
happiness. And a friend like me?-Well that's just a sign of good taste!<br />
We'll be friends until I am senile. Then we'll be NEW friends.<br />
*******<br />
Next one is from my friend, Warren in Qld.<br />
Thanks Mate for the Harley.<br />
<br />
THE HARLEY ...<br />
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died<br />
and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. Since you've been<br />
such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward<br />
is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'<br />
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out<br />
with God.'<br />
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.<br />
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who<br />
invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?<br />
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'<br />
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's<br />
pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'<br />
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but he finally spoke,<br />
'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'<br />
God said, 'Ah, yes.'<br />
'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major<br />
design flaws in your invention.<br />
<br />
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension<br />
<br />
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds<br />
<br />
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobbles about too much<br />
<br />
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust<br />
<br />
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'<br />
<br />
Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'<br />
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited<br />
for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.<br />
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur,<br />
'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.<br />
<br />
<><><br />
<br />
I will close with this Pearly Gates one.
A woman was waiting in the check-out<br />
line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and<br />
other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was<br />
in
an extreme hurry and was not happy about the slowness of the line.
When<br />
the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked<br />
indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"<br />
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the
clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there<br />
and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time.<br />
<br />
<><><br />
<br />
Do you know what my beautiful grand-daughter did for me for Christmas,<br />
she sent a donation to The McGrath Foundation, which is for the research<br />
for Breast Cancer and help and support for those now going through breast<br />
cancer. Thank you so much Bec, that meant a lot to me.
There was also a nice<br />
letter and card.<br />
<br />
Well my Friends, it is time for me to get off to bed, so until next week<br />
I'll say Bye for now.<br />
<br />Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-87209724295250196362012-12-15T23:36:00.003+11:002012-12-15T23:36:40.834+11:00Dog For Sale.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Po<span style="font-size: small;">st 811 Sunday, 16th December, 2012.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hell<span style="font-size: small;">o</span> again my friends </span></span></span>~ ~ It is good to be with you again and I hope this finds you well and happy. I am both, although I prefer the word content. My ramp outside the front entrance is finished and I am used to it. They put rails around it yesterday and it now looks like sale yards for cattle or a prison. However I will get used to that also.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">I had better get on with these jokes, some good ones I think. </span><br />
<span style="color: red;">First one tonight was sent to me by my cousin Bail</span>. <span style="color: red;">Thank you Bill. Hope all is well.</span><br />
<span style="color: red;">It is called Dog For Sale.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><u><span style="color: black;">DOG FOR SALE</span></u></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">A man sees a sign outside a house -</span></b><span style="color: black;">
</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">'Talking Dog For Sale .'</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">He rings the bell, the owner appears</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div>
<div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">And tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.</span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.</span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.</span></b><span style="color: black;">
</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">"Yes," the Labrador replies.</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk,</span></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">The man asks, "So, tell me your story."</span></b><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: black;"> </span><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">The Labrador looks up and says,</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.<br />
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">Sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">Because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping,</span></b><span style="color: black;"> </span><b><span style="color: black;">
</span></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years."</span></b><span style="color: black;">
</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">"But the jetting around really tired me out,</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">And I knew I wasn't getting any younger</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
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</div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">So I decided to settle down.</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport</span></b></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">To do some undercover security work,</span></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">I uncovered some incredible dealings</span></b><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">And was awarded several medals. </span>
</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."</span></b><b><span style="color: red;">
</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">The man was amazed</span></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">He goes back into the house and asks the owner</span></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% whitesmoke;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">How much he wants for the dog.</span></b><b><span style="color: red;"> </span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">"Ten quid," the owner says.<br />
<br />
"£10.....!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"</span></b><b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
<br />
</span><b><span style="color: black;">"Because he's a lying bastard,
</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<b><span style="color: black;">He's never been out of the garden."</span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;"><><></span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;"> This was sent by my friend in Canberra.</span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;"> <span style="color: red;">Thank yo<span style="font-size: large;">u</span>, Linda May. </span></span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span><br />
<div>
<b>Subject:</b> THIS IS AMAZING!</div>
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<b><u><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;">TRY IT
! New
technology is
so amazing !<br />
<br />
</span></span></u></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><br />
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">I
thought that
Google Earth
was good, but
this is even
more precise.
Check this
out, pretty
scary to know
they can find
you anywhere.
I'm not
surprised to
learn that
such
technology
exists. It
uses your IP
address and
finds the
exact location
of any
Internet user
in seconds. It
uses a
sophisticated
time based
algorithm to
do so.<br />
<br />
Try it and
find your
PRECISE
location on
the earth,
then watch
your screen as
the system
briefly
analyzes your
data...then
displays your
PRECISE
location. Your
location will
pop up in a
new window in
about 10
seconds or so.<br />
<br />
Click on the
link
below......<br />
</span></b><br />
<a href="http://www.darnay.com/iec/features/locator/index.html" moz-do-not-send="true" target="_blank" title="http://www.darnay.com/iec/features/locator/index.html">http://www.darnay.com/iec/features/locator/index.html</a></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><><> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">One from my good friend in the U.S. Lady Di called The Blonde and the Porch.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Than<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">k</span></span> you Dianne.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Subject: </span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Blonde and The Porch</span><span style="color: black;"></span></div>
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<span class="ecxmsid1921"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">A
young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money
for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and
started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.</span></b></span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1925">She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1927">"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1929">Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?" </span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1931">The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. </span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1933">The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our</span><br /><span class="ecxmsid1935">porch goes ALL the way around the house?" </span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1937">"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1939">The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1941">A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.. </span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1943">"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1945">"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats." </span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1947">Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.</span><br /><br /><span class="ecxmsid1949">"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."</span></span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: large;"><><></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some<span style="font-size: small;"> short Mountain Wings ones ~~~~</span></span></span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><br />
<pre wrap="">Elephant Leg
=============
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg,
and he is trying to run away,
it is best to let him run.
~Abraham.Lincoln~
from The Mountain:
Sometimes it is just best to let some things go. </pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">In A World Filled...
=====================
In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope.
In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort.
In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream.
And in a world filled with distrust,
we must still dare to believe."
~Michael Jackson~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">
Hints on How to Be a Friend
============================
1. Be Trustworthy.
When a friend tells you a secret, keep it.
Don't repeat it to others.
Trust is a vital part of friendship.
Loss of trust can destroy a friendship.
2. Be sensitive.
Be aware of a friend's needs. Try to know when your friend
needs to be with you and when your friend wants to be alone.
Respect his or her wish for privacy and need for personal space.
3. Be dependable.
If you make a promise to a friend, keep it.
Don't let your friend down.
Be there for him or her in good times as well as bad.
Let friends know they can count on you.
4. Be a good listener.
Kids like to talk to someone who listens actively.
Show a genuine interest in the things that are important to your
friend.
Maintain eye contact while he or she talks.
5. Be honest.
Let a friend know how you feel.
If a friend says or does something that hurts you, talk it over
with him or her privately.
Express your feelings as honestly as you can, and encourage your
friend to do the same.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">
Perspective
============
A man went out for a walk.
He came to a river and saw a woman on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo," he shouted, "how can I get to the other side?"
The woman looked up the river then down the river then shouted
back, </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> "You're already on the other side."
Life and truth is often a matter of perspective and viewpoint.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><> </pre>
<pre wrap="">
</pre>
<pre wrap="">
</pre>
<pre wrap="">When Things Go Wrong
=====================
When things go wrong don't go with them.
~Elvis Presley~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Yale Educated
==============
The bank manager noticed the new clerk was terrible when it
came to counting money and adding up figures.
"Where did you get your financial education?" he asks.
"Yale," replies the lad. The manager is sure he's misheard the
man, so he asks his question again and the man again responds,
"Yale."
That can't be right, thinks the manager, so he decides he's
going to check it out online.
"And what's your full name again?" asks the manager.
"Yim Yohnston."</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap="">
</pre>
<pre wrap="">A Christmas Song
<a href="http://zip.netatlantic.com/t/22891511/84516563/35701/13/">http://nethugs.com/holidays/christmas/a-christmas-song</a></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Please watch this lovely Christmas song by John Lennon. It is</pre>
<pre wrap="">my very favourite song for Christmas.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">Well that is enough fun and frivolity my friends, so until next Sunday. I am off to bed so I will be bright tomorrow. My daughter Kathy and her two younger girls, Krissy nearly 20 and</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">Jorja 14, are coming for a flying visit which will be great for us all.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">Goodbye my friends and look after each other and yourselves.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">My love and best wishes to you all. I hope you enjoyed the song.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">Cheers, Merle.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;">Post 811 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 16th December, 2012.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: blue;"><><><> </span> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-60829016915345400052012-12-10T02:20:00.000+11:002012-12-10T02:20:05.837+11:00Being Green.Post 890 ~ ~ ~Sunday, 9th December, 2012.
Hello Dear Friends ~ ~It is nice to be back with you again. And a very Big Thank You to the faithful friends who left comments. I will try to answer them tomorrow. I just was about to Publish and the entire post went wherever posts go to when they get lost. So here goes again at 10 to 11 Sunday night.<br />
<br />
It has been busy around here the last few days. I had Archie the Builder (Bob the Builder was busy). They built me a wonderful ramp
from the front porch to the ground in 2 easy stages - walk down one have a rest if necessary, then down another ramp. It is so easy after the steep one I had before. Wish I had this 6 months ago.
But once again, I am very grateful to D.V.A.<br />
<br />
I hope you are all happy with your lives and as well as can be.<br />
<br />
MountainWings.
Being Green
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.<br />
<br />
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f or future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day
.<br />
<br />
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.<br />
<br />
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.<br />
<br />
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.<br />
<br />
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.<br />
<br />
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.<br />
<br />
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?<br />
<br />
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.<br />
<><> <br />
<br />
The Nude Clock. Hope it works.
-------- Original Message -------
The Nude Men Clock (and it is NOT X-rated)........ how clever. Somebody has way too much time on their hands!
Be sure to click on the clock to make it digital.<br />
It's actually the correct time even counting the seconds !!!
What kind of computer engineer mind thinks of these things ? Yipes!
This is extremely clever and it does actually work, in BOTH formats!!!! Digital and Analog, and it's actually on YOUR correct time.
http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html
Click anywhere in the clock and it becomes digital, another click and it returns to analog – The digital one is where the action really is – the joints really jumping there ;<br />
<br />
Thank you Dear Jan for this one.<br />
<br />
On his 74th birthday,a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.<br />
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticketto the medicine man and wondered what he was there for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,"<br />
<br />
This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say “1-2-3. When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say “1-2-3-4,” he responded."But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."<br />
<br />
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"<br />
<br />
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked "What’s the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.<br />
<br />
<><><br />
<br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">WHY
GOD CREATED CHILDREN<span style="color: navy;"><span style="color: navy;"> </span></span></span></b></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">(AND IN THE PROCESS
GRANDCHILDREN) </span></b><u><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></u><span><br />
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span><br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">To those of us who have
children in our lives, <br />
whether they are our own,</span></b><span> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
grandchildren,</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
nieces,</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
nephews,</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
or students...</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
here is something to make you chuckle. </span></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
Whenever your children are out of control,</span></b>
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
you can take comfort from the thought that</span></b>
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
even God's omnipotence did not extend</span></b>
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
to His own children.</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
After creating heaven and earth,</span></b>
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
God created Adam and Eve.</span></b> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
And the first thing he said was</span></b> </span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
"DON'T</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "</span></b><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span><br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Don't what</span> </b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">?</span></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"
<br />
Adam replied. </span></b><span style="color: #8000ff;"><span style="color: #8000ff;"></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Don't
eat the forbidden fruit." <br />
God said.</span></b> <span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Forbidden
fruit</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">
?</span></i></b><span>
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
We have forbidden fruit</span></b></span><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> ?</span></i></b><span> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit</span></b></span><b><i> <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span></b> <span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></u><a href="http://hotbar.com/scripts/utils/banner.asp?InstallDURL=des:en/emoticons1&requestor=Btn_anime" moz-do-not-send="true" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">No Way</span></i></b><b><i> <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">" </span></i></b><span> </span><span><br />
<br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Yes way</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><i> <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">" </span></i></b><span> </span><span><br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Do NOT eat the fruit</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> !</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "
<br />
said God.</span></b><span>
</span><span><br />
</span><u><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></u><a href="http://hotbar.com/scripts/utils/banner.asp?InstallDURL=des:en/emoticons1&requestor=Btn_anime" moz-do-not-send="true" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></a><span> </span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">?</span></i></b> <span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span> </span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Because
I am your Father and I said so</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b> <span style="font-weight: bold;">"
<br />
God replied, <br />
wondering why He hadn't stopped <br />
creation after making the elephants. <br />
<br />
A few minutes later,</span></b><b> <span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
God saw His children having an apple break <br />
and He was ticked </span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />
<br />
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">?</span></i></b><b> <span style="font-weight: bold;">"
<br />
God asked.</span></b><span><br />
</span><a href="http://hotbar.com/scripts/utils/banner.asp?InstallDURL=des:en/emoticons1&requestor=Btn_anime" moz-do-not-send="true" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></a><span><br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Uh huh," <br />
Adam replied.</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Then
why did you</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> ?</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "
<br />
said the Father.</span></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /> </span></b></span></span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"I don't know," <br />
said Eve.</span></b></span></span> </div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span><br />
</span><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"She started it </span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "
<br />
Adam said.</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Did
not</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">
!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Did
too</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">
!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">"DID
NOT</span></b><b><i><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">
!</span></i></b><b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> "</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Having
had it with the two of them, <br />
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve <br />
should have children of their own. </span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <><></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Well enough for tonight my friends. Look after yourselves and each other.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Post 890 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 9th December, 2012.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><><><> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-79564948955567430392012-12-01T23:03:00.001+11:002012-12-02T00:57:49.524+11:00Woman and a Fork.Post 789 ~ ~ ~ Sunday 2nd December, 2012.<br />
<br />
Hello my dear friends ~~ Well after all sorts of problems, it seems to be going well so far. I hope it does as I was close to closing down. Blogger gave me a hard time and wouldn't let me get to my own blog. and refused to believe there was an URL nor would they recognize<br />
my name at all. Apparently all is forgiven now. I got very frustrated and felt so down that<br />
I could hardly do anything. Particularly with my sleep problems and not being able to stay awake. That also is frustrating and I am going to see the doctor about that and the very jerky things my arms do. etc etc. Will let you know how that goes. May be Parkinsons.<br />
<br />
Thanks to Peter for his Fill in and thanks to the old favorites who keep in touch faithfully.<br />
I do appreciate you all and I hope you know that.<br />
<br />
Well I will get on with this post in case I feel the need to put my head down.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">First tonight is the title one, Woman With a Fork which was sent to me by my goof friend Theanne</span>. Thank you Theanne.<br />
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<span style="color: #40007f; font-family: courier, monaco, monospace, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">My blog is located here: </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #40007f; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.theanneandbaron.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: courier, monaco, monospace, sans-serif;">http://www.theanneandbaron.com</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: black; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: maroon;">Woman and a
Fork</span></u><span style="color: maroon;"><br /><br />There
was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal
illness and had been given three months to live. So as she
was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her
Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain
aspects of her final wishes.<br /><br />She told him
which songs she wanted sung at the service, what
scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted
to be buried in.<br /><br />Everything was in order and
the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman
suddenly remembered something very important to
her...<br /><br />'There's one more thing,' she said
excitedly.<br /><br />'What's that?' came the Pastor's
reply.<br /><br />'This is very important,' the young
woman continued.. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my
right hand.'<br /><br />The Pastor stood looking at the
young woman, not knowing quite what to
say.<br /><br />That surprises you, doesn't it?' the
young woman asked.<br /><br />'Well, to be honest, I'm
puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor.<br /><br />The
young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this
story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass
along its message to those I love and those who are in
need of encouragement. In all my years of attending
socials and dinners, I always remember that when the
dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone
would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It
was my favorite part because I knew that something better
was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish
apple pie. Something wonderful, and with
substance!'<br /><br />So, I just want people to see me
there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want
them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to
tell them: 'Keep your fork ..the best is yet to
come.'<br /><br />The Pastor's eyes welled up with
tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye.
He knew this would be one of the last times he would see
her before her death.. But he also knew that the young
woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did.. She had a
better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people
twice her age, with twice as much experience and
knowledge. She KNEW that something better was
coming.<br /><br />At the funeral people were walking by
the young woman's casket and</span><span style="color: navy;"> </span><span style="color: maroon;">they saw the cloak
she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.
Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with
the fork?' And over and over he
smiled.<br /><br />During his message, the Pastor told
the people of the conversation he had with the young
woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the
fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the
people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and
told them that they probably would not be able to stop
thinking about it either.<br /><br />He was right. So
the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind
you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to
come. </span><span style="color: red;">Friends are a very
rare jewel</span><span style="color: #010101;"> </span><span style="color: maroon;">, </span><span style="color: blue;">indeed</span><span style="color: maroon;"> </span><span style="color: #010101;">They make you
smile and encourage you to succeed </span><span style="color: blue;">Cherish the time you
have</span><span style="color: maroon;">, </span><span style="color: #010101;">and the
memories you share</span><span style="color: maroon;"> ..... </span><i><span style="color: #6600cc;">being
friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet
responsibility.</span></i><i><span style="color: red;"> </span></i><i><span style="color: maroon;"><br /><br />Send this
to everyone you consider a FRIEND even if it means sending
back to the person who sent it to you.<br /><br />And
keep your fork</span></i></span><span style="color: #010101;"><br /><br /> <br /> </span><b><i><span style="color: #3f621f;">Make life
good...do not expect it!</span></i></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i><b><><></b></i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><span style="color: #3f621f;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;">Mountain Wings always have some good one</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: small;">s</span>. The first one is a beauty.</span></span> </span></span></i></b></span></span></span><br />
<pre wrap="">Music Lovers
=============
A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish life-style went
to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart.
"Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!"
The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked
casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him.
Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to
Coney Island."
There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her.
Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered,
"We're leaving right now.
Get your coat and let's get our of here."
As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself.
Finally his wife turned to him.
"You're angry about something."
"Oh really?" You noticed?" He sneered.
"I've never been so embarrassed in my life!
You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island?
Don't you know the No. 5 bus doesn't go to Coney Island?"</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<br />
<pre wrap="">The Next Door Neighbor
=======================
I'm thankful today for good neighbors. I've never met one like
ours. My car broke down last spring. All summer, we tried to get
it fixed but after 300k miles and two accidents, it gave up.
James had no way to work, so our neighbor insisted we use his
spare van, which he used to haul supplies or as a 'loaner' for
family, until we could save the down payment on a replacement.
With trying to catch up our mortgage and medical bills, it took
six months. The day we picked up the car, James took the van
keys to our neighbor and offered to pay whatever we could for
using his van so very long (we had of course paid for all the
gas and maintenance).
The neighbor accepted only our thanks, he refused to take a dime.
You want to see some Christian charity? Yeah, his name's Tom,
he's next door.
~A MountainWings Original by Whitney Bland, Independence, MO~
He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats,
let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat,
let him do likewise. (Luke 3:11)</pre>
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<pre wrap="">Signs in front of Churches
===========================
1. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
2. Under same management for over 2,000 years.
3. Soul food served here.
4. Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk.
5. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without
giving.
6. Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!
7. Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church.
8. We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of
the age of rock.
9. Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case!
10. Come early for a good seat in the back.
11. Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What's yours?
12. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
13. A man's character is like a fence. It cannot be
strengthened by whitewash.
14. K-mart isn't the only saving place!
15. Preach the gospel at all times ... Use words only if
necessary.
16. Delay is preferable to error.
17. It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
18. What part of "THOU SHALT NOT" don't you understand?
19. A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.
20. The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday!
21. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
22. Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings.
23. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
24. May is God's apology for February.
25. To belittle is to be little.
26. Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness
in you.
27. God answers knee mail.
28. Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always
take you back.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">One from my friend Warren, Thanks Mate for Another Aussie Classic.</span> </pre>
<pre wrap=""></pre>
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<b><span style="color: navy; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">T</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">hree Aussie
blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel,
Coot and Bluey.<br />
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower
and is killed instantly.<br />
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well,
bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.<br />
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Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff,
I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case
of Beer.<br />
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Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?' 'Coot's
wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies. 'That's unbelievable,
you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a
case of beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says. 'When she
answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's
widow."</span></b><span lang="EN-NZ"></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a
widow.' Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'<br />
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Aussies guys are good at that sensitive stuff..</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">Sure<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"> sounds like it doesn't it?</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: purple;">Well I think I have had all the frivolity I can stand so will hope this post<span style="font-size: large;">s. My love and best wishes to you all. Be kind to each other</span></span></span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;">and take care of yourselves. Cheers, Merle.</span></span></span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;">Post 789 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 2nd December, 2012.</span></span></span></span></b></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: 7pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Mistral; font-size: 24pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Mistral;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Mistral; font-size: 36pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: #558ed5; font-family: Mistral;"><span style="color: #558ed5; font-family: Mistral; font-size: 36pt; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"></span></span></i></b></div>
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-54207335545144963422012-11-20T22:53:00.002+11:002012-11-20T22:53:54.106+11:00A fill in.Hi folks, its Deputy Peter putting a message from Merle on her blog.<br />
Don't be alarmed she is quite OK but is experiencing computer problems, we all know what that feels like!!!!!<br />
With a bit of luck she will get the problems solved over the next few days and be with you again in person instead of through a deputy.Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-75212827038329239692012-11-12T00:42:00.003+11:002012-11-12T00:42:51.962+11:00Someone Was Watching.Post 808 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 11th November, 2012.<br />
<br />
Hello to my friends ~~ It is good to be with you again and I hope this finds you well and<br />
happy with your lives. I am well and content. Still sleep a lot, but manage to do the necessary and just leave the other jobs for "tomorrow". Oh boy is that going to be one<br />
very busy day -- that tomorrow. I am very late starting tonight, so won't dilly- dally any longer. Let's just get on with it.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are three from Mountain Wings, the title one and a couple of quickies. Enjoy.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></span> <br />
<pre wrap="">Someone Was Watching
======================
We live in a small town in Northumberland, near the sea and
right next to the woodland.
Sounds great eh?
It was until our recent addition.
Our baby is now one year old. Around a month ago, someone
knocked on my door holding my baby boy and telling me that he
was standing in the road, waving at the cars.
I was devastated; the thoughts of what could have been tortured
my imagination.
We built a fence.
Two weeks ago, I was in the hallway talking on the phone when
someone knocked at my door. They were holding my son, who,
we now discovered had learned how to open the front door.
We put an extra latch lock onto the door.
Tonight, we went shopping; we came home and were unloading the
car. My husband brought the baby in. As usual, everyone
thought someone else was watching him, someone was.
A man knocked at our still open door and handed to us our baby
boy, gurgling and laughing at us, saying "CAR." I can not tell
you how small I felt, devastated yet again.
We are now selling our house and hoping to move to a house where
there is no busy road outside. We have all learned a lesson, we
need to be more vigilant; three times lucky, our luck is running
out!
What about next time?
Even if we were stupid, a family of five and our precious baby
escaping!
Someone was watching, and I think you know who kept him safe.
~A MountainWings Original by a MountainWings subscriber in the
United Kingdom~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak
============================
Think gefore you speak
is it True?
is it Helpful?
is it Inspiring?
is it Necessary?
is it Kind?</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"><><></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">HONKING. </span> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Honking
========
A church board member was driving home when he came up on a
heavy traffic jam. Even though traffic was at a standstill, the
driver behind him kept honking and honking. In the tension of
the moment, the board member gets out of his car, walks to the
car behind him and punches the driver in the face.
Walking back to his car, he walks by his own bumper and his eyes
glance down upon a bumper-sticker stuck to his own car that read,
"Honk if you love Jesus!"</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">Next one from my good friend Jan called "Heaven". Thanks Jan.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">When he
was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me,
where are we?' <br /><br />'This is Heaven, sir,'
the man answered.<br /><br />'Wow! Would you happen
to have some water?' the man asked.<br /><br />'Of
course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some
ice</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">water
brought right up.'<br /><br />The man gestured, and
the gate began to open.</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">'Can my
friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in,
too?'</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">the
traveller asked.<br /><br />'I'm sorry, sir, but we
don't accept pets.'<br /><br />The man thought a
moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his
dog.<br /><br />After another long walk, and at the
top of another long hill,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">he came to
a dirt road leading through a farm
gate</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">that
looked as if it had never been closed.
<br /><br />There was no fence.<br /><br />As he
approached the gate, he saw a man
inside,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">leaning
against a tree and reading a book....
</span></b><span style="color: black;"></span></div>
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /><br /></span><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">'Excuse
me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any
water?'<br /><br />'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over
there, come on in.'<br /><br />'How about my friend
here?' the traveller gestured to the
dog.<br /><br />'There should be a bowl by the
pump,' said the man.<br /><br />They went through
the gate, and sure enough, there was an
old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside
it.<br /><br />The traveller filled the water bowl
and took a long drink
himself,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">then he
gave some to the dog.<br /><br />When they were
full, he and the dog walked
back</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">toward the
man who was standing by the tree.<br /><br />'What
do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
<br /><br />'This is Heaven,' he
answered.<br /><br />'Well, that's confusing,' the
traveller said.<br /><br />'The man down the road
said that was Heaven, too.'<br /><br />'Oh, you mean
the place with the gold street and pearly
gates?</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">Nope.
That's hell.'<br /><br />'Doesn't it make you mad
for them to use your name like
that?'<br /><br />'No, we're just happy that they
screen out</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">the folks
who would leave their best friends behind.'
</span></b><span style="color: black;"></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">Soooo. Now
you see, sometimes, we wonder</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">why
friends keep forwarding stuff to us without
writing a word.</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">Maybe this
will explain it.<br /><br />When you are very busy,
but still want to keep in
touch,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">guess what
you do? You forward emails.<br /><br />When you have
nothing to say, but still want to keep
contact,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">you
forward jokes.<br /><br />When you have something to
say, but don't know what,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">and don't
know how.... you forward
stuff.<br /><br /><br /></span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 24pt;">A
'<u>forward'</u> lets you know that<u> you are
still</u> r<u>emembered</u>,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 24pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 24pt;">you are<u>
still important</u>, you are<u> still loved,</u>
you are<u> still cared
for.<br /></u></span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">So, next
time if you get a 'forward', don't think
that</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">you've
been sent just another forwarded
joke,</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">but that
you've been thought of today and your
friend</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 18pt;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">on the
other end of your computer wanted to send you a
smile.</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">
</span><span style="color: black;"></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;">You are
welcome at my water bowl anytime !!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;"><><></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: red;">My dear friend Karen</span> <span style="color: red;">in the U.S. sent me a list that her Mom has. Thanks Karen and Karen's Mom..........</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<pre wrap=""><b>LAWS.....</b></pre>
<div style="font-family: Courier New,courier,monaco,monospace,sans-serif; font-size: 36pt;">
<div style="font-family: times new roman,new york,times,serif; font-size: 12pt;">
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman Baltic; font-size: medium;">
<div>
<b><i>1.
Law of
Mechanical
Repair - After
your hands
become coated
with grease, <br />
your nose will
begin to itch
and you'll
have to pee.<br />
<br />
2. Law of
Gravity - Any
tool, nut,
bolt, screw,
when dropped,
will roll to <br />
the least
accessible
corner.<br />
<br />
3. Law of
Probability -
The
probability of
being watched
is directly <br />
proportional
to the
stupidity of
your act.<br />
<br />
4. Law of
Random Numbers
- If you dial
a wrong
number, you
never get a <br />
busy signal
and someone
always
answers.<br />
<br />
6. Variation
Law - If you
change lines
(or traffic
lanes), the
one you <br />
were in will
always move
faster than
the one you
are in now
(works every <br />
time).<br />
<br />
7. Law of the
Bath - When
the body is
fully immersed
in water, the
<br />
telephone
rings.<br />
<br />
8. Law of
Close
Encounters -
The
probability of
meeting
someone you
know <br />
increases
dramatically
when you are
with someone
you don't want
to be seen <br />
with.<br />
<br />
9. Law of the
Result - When
you try to
prove to
someone that a
machine <br />
won't work, it
will.<br />
<br />
10. Law of
Biomechanics -
The severity
of the itch is
inversely <br />
proportional
to the reach.<br />
<br />
11.. Law of
the Theater
& Hockey
Arena - At any
event, the
people whose <br />
seats are
furthest from
the aisle,
always arrive
last. They are
the ones <br />
who will leave
their seats
several times
to go for
food, beer, or
the <br />
toilet and who
leave early
before the end
of the
performance or
the game <br />
is over. The
folks in the
aisle seats
come early,
never move
once, have <br />
long gangly
legs or big
bellies and
stay to the
bitter end of
the <br />
performance.
The aisle
people also
are very surly
folk.<br />
<br />
12. The Coffee
Law - As soon
as you sit
down to a cup
of hot coffee,
your <br />
boss will ask
you to do
something
which will
last until the
coffee is <br />
cold.<br />
<br />
13. Murphy's
Law of Lockers
- If there are
only 2 people
in a locker
room, <br />
they will have
adjacent
lockers.<br />
<br />
14. Law of
Physical
Surfaces - The
chances of an
open-faced
jelly sandwich
<br />
landing face
down on a
floor, are
directly
correlated to
the newness
and <br />
cost of the
carpet or rug.<br />
<br />
15. Law of
Logical
Argument -
Anything is
possible if
you don't know
what <br />
you are
talking about.<br />
<br />
16. Brown's
Law of
Physical
Appearance -
If the clothes
fit, they're
ugly.<br />
<br />
17. Oliver's
Law of Public
Speaking - A
closed mouth
gathers no
feet.<br />
<br />
18. Wilson's
Law of
Commercial
Marketing
Strategy - As
soon as you
find a <br />
product that
you really
like, they
will stop
making it.<br />
<br />
19. Doctors'
Law - If you
don't feel
well, make an
appointment to
go to <br />
the doctor, by
the time you
get there
you'll feel
better.. But
don't make <br />
an
appointment,
and you'll
stay sick.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If you don't
forward this
to 1 of your
friends within
the next 5
minutes <br />
your belly
button will
unscrew and
your butt will
fall off.<br />
<br />
Really....
It's true</i></b></div>
<div>
<b><i> </i></b></div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: blue;">I have my doubts about that last one, but let's not take any chances !!!!!</span></i></b></div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: blue;"><><></span></i></b></div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: blue;"> </span></i></b></div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: blue;">A couple of Pearly Gates ones. First "Caught Deacons".</span></i></b></div>
</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
Caught Deacons
Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their
pickup trucks parked outside.
One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup."
The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make? God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts."
The first deacon answered, "Yeah, but God won't tell my wife." </pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
The Next One
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> <span style="color: red;">One from my good friend Patricia in the U.S. Thanks Patty.</span></pre>
<pre wrap="">
</pre>
<pre wrap=""> <b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;">Husband takes the wife to a disco. </span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;">There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large - </span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;">break dancing, moon-walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: See that guy? </span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;">25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
<span style="background: #FFFF40;">Husband says: </span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="background: #FFFF40;">"Looks like he's still celebrating!!!</span></span></span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="background: #FFFF40; color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><><></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">Well my friends, it is time to close tonight as it is officially 12.30 am on Monday here, so I had better get to bed. I will get to replies tomorrow I hope.</span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">Sunday was Remembrance Day here and many other countries.</span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">We will never forget those who paid the supreme price<span style="font-size: medium;"> for our freedom. R<span style="font-size: medium;">.I.P.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. My love and best wishes to</span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">you all. Find some joy in each day. Cheers, Merle. </span> </span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">Post 808 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 11th November, 2012.</span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><><><></span></span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span> </span></span></span></b></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-32507078717974616842012-11-04T23:14:00.003+11:002012-11-04T23:28:24.737+11:00Got It Too Easy. Post 807 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 4th November, 2012. <br />
<br />
Hello My Friends ~ ~ <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is good to "see" you again and I trust all is well with you all and life is good for you and your loved ones. I am fine, just still sleeping a lot in the daytime, but I go to bed late. There is no pain when I sleep, so it goes. I get the usual things done, cooking, washing and dishes etc, just nothing extra. I am going to get more help, so that is great. Now get 1.5 hours a week instead of fortnightly. Plus the shopping for 2 hours as usual and one hour the next week which will be good for anything I forgot, or run out of.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week I had my hair cut and it looks much better and my carer helped me up the steps and inside, then got me some stamps and magazines which she read while I got trimmed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also a ramp outside has finally been granted and I hope will be done soon. That is going to be wonderful and should relieve quite a bit of pain that I have on the steep ramp I have. I cannot believe the wonderful help that Veteran's Affairs have been to me -paying all</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hospital accounts and operations etc etc and now the ramp. </span>I am very grateful.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Well I had better get started on this post, which I hope you will enjoy. First item tonight</span><br />
<span style="color: red;">is the Title of the post -- "Got it too Easy."</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span>
Got It Too Easy!
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When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their
tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were
growing up.
What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning
uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their
younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse
where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-
time after-school job at the local textile mill where they
worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from
starving to death!<br />
<br />
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no
way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and
how easy they've got it!
But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help
but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good
you've got it!<br />
<br />
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and
look it up ourselves!
And there was no email or texting!
We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!
And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put
it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s!
If you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store
and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day to
tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the
beginning and mess it all up!<br />
<br />
You want to hear about hardship?
We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else called,
they got a busy signal!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be
your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!!
You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with
high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and
"Asteroids"!<br />
<br />
Your guy was a little square! You had to use your
imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens,
it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and
faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as
stadium seating! All the seats were the same height!
If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle!<br />
<br />
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only
like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use
a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning...
D'ya hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK!
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled!
You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!
~30ish Author Unknown~<br />
<><><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Another from Mountain Wings.</span><br />
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<pre wrap="">Clark Gable
============
Clark Gable, the heartthrob of yesteryear gave some very solid
advice for women.
He was the most dashing and sought after man of his time,
yet he gave a simple secret that gives any woman the power to
make her man feel like a movie star.
Clark Gable said,
"The most important thing a man can know is that,
as he approaches his own door, someone on the other side
is listening for the sound of his footsteps."
Of course this sagely advice is void after midnight,
especially if he doesn't work the 3 to 11 shift.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b><><></b></span></span></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">My friend Warren sent me the "Rambling Rose."</span> <span style="color: red;">Thanks Mate.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 11.5pt;"></span><big><big><big><big><b><span style="background: white; font-size: 11.5pt;">A
man takes a lady out to dinner for the first
time. Later they go on to a show. </span></b><b><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"></span></b><b><br />
</b><b><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="background: white;">The evening is a
huge success and as he drops her at her
door he says 'I have had a lovely time. </span><br />
<span style="background: white;">You looked
so beautiful, you remind me of a beautiful
climbing rose. May I call on you
tomorrow?' </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">She agrees
and a date is made. </span><br />
<span style="background: white;">The next
night he knocks on her door and when she
opens it she slaps him hard across the
face. </span><br />
<span style="background: white;">He is
stunned. 'What was that for?' he asked. </span><br />
<span style="background: white;">She said 'I
looked up beautiful climbing rose in the
encyclopaedia last night and it said </span><br />
</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="background: white;">"Best suited for
rooting against a brick wall or fence, no
good in an open bed"</span></span></b></big></big></big></big></div>
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<big><big><big><big><b><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: red;">My friend Lee sent the next one called "True" Thank you Lee,</span> </span></span></b></big></big></big></big></div>
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<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></span><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Subject: </span>TRUE</span></b></pre>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">When the shearing sheds are silent and the stock camps fallen quiet<br />
<br />
When the gidgee coals no longer glow across the outback night<br />
<br />
And the bush is forced to hang a sign, 'gone broke and won't be back'<br />
<br />
And spirits fear to find a way beyond the beaten track<br />
<br />
When harvesters stand derelict upon the wind swept plains<br />
<br />
And brave hearts pin their hopes no more on chance of loving rains<br />
<br />
When a hundred outback settlements are ghost towns overnight<br />
<br />
When we've lost the drive and heart we had to once more see us right<br />
<br />
When 'Pioneer' means a stereo and 'Digger' some backhoe<br />
<br />
And the 'Outback' is behind the house, there's nowhere else to go<br />
<br />
And 'Anzac' is a biscuit brand and probably foreign owned<br />
<br />
And education really means brainwashed and neatly cloned<br />
<br />
When you have to bake a loaf of bread to make a decent crust<br />
<br />
And our heritage once enshrined in gold is crumbling to dust<br />
<br />
And old folk pay their camping fees on land for which they fought<br />
<br />
And fishing is a great escape; this is until you're caught<br />
<br />
When you see our kids with scuffy caps and resentment in their eyes<br />
<br />
And the soaring crime and hopeless hearts is no longer a surprise<br />
<br />
When the name of RM Williams is a yuppie clothing brand<br />
<br />
Not a product of our heritage that grew off the land<br />
<br />
When offering a hand makes people think you'll amputate<br />
<br />
And two dogs meeting in the street is what you call a 'Mate'<br />
<br />
When 'Political Correctness' has replaced all common sense<br />
<br />
When you're forced to see it their way, there's no sitting on the fence<br />
<br />
Yes one day you might find yourself an outcast in this land<br />
<br />
Perhaps your heart will tell you then, '. I should have made a stand'<br />
<br />
Just go and ask the farmers that should remove all doubt<br />
<br />
Then join the swelling ranks who say, 'don't sell Australia out'<br />
<br />
Author unknown.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: red;">My cousin Karyn from New Zealand sent me one about drafting guys over 60.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: red;">Thanks <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Karyn.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"> </span>I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to </span></span></pre>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;">track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
</span></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;">join
the military. </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;">They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;">Instead
of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us
old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until
you're at least 35. </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;">For
starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about <br />sex
every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about <br />sex a couple
of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 <br />additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy..</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">Young
guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a <br />cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">'My
back hurts! I can't <br />sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are
impatient and maybe <br />letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it <br />will make us feel better and shut
us up for awhile..</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">An
18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am . Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I
may as well be up killing some</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">fanatical
son-of-a-bitch. If captured we couldn't spill
the</span></b><b><span style="color: #ff0080;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: green;">beans
because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank,
and serial number would be a real brainteaser.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">Boot
camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">We've
been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
house, away from the screaming and yelling.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">They
could lighten up on the obstacle course
however...</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot
wall</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">with
rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do
any</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">push
ups after completing basic training.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">Actually,
the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">An
18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
<br />learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty
girl. <br />He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has
a brim to <br />shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These
are all great reasons to keep</span></b><b><span style="color: #ff0080;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: green;">our
kids at home to learn a little more about life before
sending</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">them
off into harm's way.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">Let
us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.
The last thing an enemy would want to</span></b><b><span style="color: #ff0080;">
</span></b><b><span style="color: green;">see
is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already
behind them.</span></b>
<b><span style="color: red;">HEY!!
How about recruiting Women over 50...</span></b>
<b><span style="color: red;">in
menopause!!! <br />You think MEN have
attitudes??</span></b>
<b><span style="color: red;">Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
my God!!! If nothing else, put them on </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: red;">border
patrol. They'll have it secured the first
night!</span></b>
<b><span style="color: green;">If
you send this to your senior friends...it's in big type so
they can read.</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: green;"><span style="color: red;">One from my good friend Jan called "Don't dial 90# for anyone." Thank you Jan.</span></span></b></span></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">Subject: Do not dial 90 hash for anyone</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif';"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"></span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Please read
below and pass on to your family & friends.</span></b><span style="color: black;"><br /></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Got a call last
night from an individual identifying himself as an Telstra Service
technician who was conducting a test on our Telephone lines. <br />He
stated that to complete the test I should touch nine(9),zero ( 0), hash
(#) and then hang up. Luckily, I was suspicious and refused.
<br />Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by
pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your
telephone line, which allows them to place long distance telephone calls
billed to your home phone number.<br />I was further informed that this
scam has been originating from many of the local
Jails/prisons.</span><b><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">DO NOT press 90#
for ANYONE</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">. PLEASE pass
this on to your friends. <br />If you have mailing lists and/or
newsletters from organizations you are connected with, I encourage you
to pass this on.</span><b><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Stephen
Cooper<br />Detective Senior Constable 29748<br />Victoria Police State
Crime Squads <br />Level 12, 412 St. Kilda Road , Melbourne <br />(03)
9865 2663 or 0414644499</span></b><span style="color: black;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: red;">Another from Jan. Thank you my friend.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: red;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"><b>Subject:</b> FW: Fw: FIFTY SHADES OF GREY</span>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The
missus bought a Paperback </span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">down
Mumbles Saturday,<br />I had a look into her bag;<br />T’was “Fifty
Shades of Grey”.<br /><br />Well I just left her to it,<br />At ten
I went to bed.<br />An one hour later she appeared;<br />The sight
filled me with dread…..<br /><br />In her left hand, she held a
rope;<br />And in her right a whip!<br />She threw them down upon the
floor,<br />And then began to strip.<br /><br />Well fifty years or
so ago;<br />I might have had a peek;<br />But Doris hasn’t weathered
well;<br />She’s eighty four next week.<br /><br />Watching Doris
bump and grind;<br />Could not have been much grimmer.<br />Things they
went from bad to worse;<br />She toppled off her
Zimmer!<br /><br />She struggled back upon her feet;<br />A couple
minutes later;<br />She put her teeth back in and…<br />Said…..That I
must dominate her!!<br /><br />Now if you knew our Doris
,<br />You’d see just why I spluttered,<br />I’d spent two months in
traction<br />From our last mad sex, I
muttered.<br /><br />She stood there nude, all naked like;<br />Bent
forward just a bit ….<br />So I thought what the hell,<br />Stepped
forward, but stood on her left tit!<br /><br />Doris
screamed, her teeth shot out;<br />My god what had I done!?<br />She
moaned and groaned then shouted out:<br />“Step on the other
one”!!<br /><br />Well readers, I can’t tell no more;<br />About
what occurred that day.<br />Suffice to say, my jet black
hair,….<br />Turned “fifty shades of Grey”</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">................anonymous</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: purple;">Just a repeat of the Evian water and H/P Printer Ad<span style="font-family: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif';">vt</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif';">because I like it and some of you may have missed it. </span></span></span></div>
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and joyful!
Now THIS is great use of computer technology - just
wonderful!</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 18.0pt;">A</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">ctually
this is an HP
Printer &
Evian Water
commercial.
But, there are
only a few
seconds which
actually bring
attention to
the HP printer
& Evian
water. The
bulk of the
commercial is
purely
entertainment.
And, IT IS
AMAZING! I
don't know how
they do this
kind of stuff,
but it is
flawless. It
is so
perfectly done
that I could
not find one
thing that
would make you
think it
wasn't real if
you didn't
know any
better.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=341rybZ42vA" moz-do-not-send="true" target="_blank">Great Commercial<b>.</b></a></span></span></div>
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<><><><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">Well it is time to say Bye for now my friends. Do look after yourselves and each other</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">Try to find something of joy each day. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Post 807 ~ ~ ~ Sunday 4th November, 2012.</span></span></span></span><br />
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-85928075506797787922012-10-28T22:47:00.002+11:002012-10-28T22:47:26.954+11:00Weather Changes.Post 806 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 28th October, 2012.<br />
<br />
Hello My Friends ~ ~ It is nice to be with you all again<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. I hope all is well with you and your loved ones. I am feeling quite well and had good results at the doctor on Friday. Both he and I were surprised my lungs sounded much better and it took me a while to realize why.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My dear blogging friend Karen suggested I raise my head and shoulders to keep the fluid </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">draining. Thank you so much Karen. </span><br />
<br />
The nurse at the clinic had rung and I said I was having more pain of late, so she made the appointment. Thanks Marnie. My doc asked where the pain was and I just looked at him and he said, Let me rephrase that question, Where doesn't it hurt?? He then gave me an extra tablet, Tramol, just for when the pain is really bad. So I feel happy just to have that backstop and I may never take one -we will see. I have done a lot of sleeping since and there isn't pain when I sleep. So sleep is my answer for pain, but I don't get a lot done then.<br />
<br />
Mind you after the Dr. visit at Noon, I put together 2 fridge meals and 6 freezer meals, so<br />
no cooking for a while. Then I was exhausted so decided to have a rest day yesterday. But that has carried on to today, so I am late starting my blog post. I asked why I had wheezy noises if my lungs were OK and he said a tendency to asthma and prescribed a preventative<br />
huffer for me, and that seems to be helping also. So upwards and onwards --------<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">The first few are from Mountain Wings including the Title one -- Weather Changes.</span><br />
<span style="color: red;">The other ones are very brief.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"> </span><br />
<pre wrap="">Weather Changes
================
The rain was pouring down.
It was cold.
It was the type of weather that most would call miserable.
Cars were passing by looking at me. I could tell by the look on
a few startled faces that they were asking themselves,
"What is that fool doing running in the rain?"
I was the object of the imagined question.
I was jogging in pouring rain in nearly freezing weather.
There were two things they didn't realize.
First, it wasn't raining when I started.
Second, I was enjoying myself.
When I started running it was cold but fairly dry.
Only a light mist hung in the air.
After 30 minutes, the bottom fell out of the clouds.
The weather is often nice when we start something.
Weather changes.
When you start a business, it's nice.
You are excited.
You have money saved.
You have big dreams.
Then you don't make as much as you thought.
Your money runs out.
The customers don't line up, and the sales don't go up.
You had your business plans and they didn't include rain.
Weather changes.
When you get married, it's nice.
You are excited.
You have money saved.
You have big dreams.
You have your life planned and changing diapers at 2 a.m. and
4 a.m. somehow wasn't in the plans.
Having more bills than money wasn't in the plans.
Sex once a week (on good weeks) wasn't on the plans.
The mood swings and differences weren't on the plans.
The extra weight in so many areas weren't on the plans.
Weather changes.
When you move to a new city, it's nice.
You are excited.
You have money saved.
You have your life planned and all of the negative stuff of the
old town you are leaving behind.
You soon are around the same type of people in the new city,
on the new job, in the new church, they weren't in your plans.
Weather changes.
"What is that fool doing running in the rain?"
I was smiling.
The rain and cold air felt good. My lungs were in shape so they
weren't burning from the cold air. The rain washed the sweat
away. It kept me refreshed. It was like running in the shower.
Plus, when the downpour started, I was two miles from home.
There was nothing that I could do but keep running.
If they thought I was a fool at first, they should have seen me
during the last one-half mile.
I took my shirt off.
I had no choice but to run, whether it was hot or cold,
wet or dry, but the choice to smile and fully enjoy the weather,
was mine.
If you've got to run, find the good in your weather and smile,
even if people do think you are crazy, they don't know your
situation or what you're made of inside.
Have you ever noticed how kids like to play in the rain?
You may have no choice but to run in the rain;
you do have a choice of the expression on your face
and how much you enjoy it.
Weather changes.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
The others are Where to Find a Helping Hand, When it rains, The Manager...........<br />
<br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">Where To Find A Helping Hand
=============================
The best place to find a helping hand
is at the end of your own arm.
~Swedish Proverb~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">
When It Rains
==============
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?
A: Because the kids have to play inside.</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap="">
The Manager
============
I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any
advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will
work out for the best in the end.
So what is there to worry about.
~Henry Ford~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">A couple from my friend Lee in Queensland. Thank you Lee for the</span> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">English Lesson and Definition of an Oxymoron.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">
</span></pre>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></span><b><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">I became
confused when I heard the word</span><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'service'</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">used with these agencies:</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Banking</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Postal</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Telephone</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Pay TV</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">State & Public</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Customer </span><span>'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Bureaucratic</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">This is not what I thought</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">'Service'</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">meant.</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Then I visited my uncle, he's a farmer,</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">and</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">he hir</span><span>ed</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">a bull to </span><span>'Service'</span></span></span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span></span></span></b><span style="color: #20140c;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c;"> </span></span><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">his cows.</span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-AU"></span></div>
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<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-NZ" style="color: #20140c; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">Suddenly WOW!!!</span><span> It
all came clear. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us! </span></span></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: 5.0pt;">
<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span><><> </span></span></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; mso-margin-top-alt: 5.0pt;">
<b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span> </span></span></span></b><b><span><span style="color: #20140c; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">
Subject: English Lesson</span></span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN-AU" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></span>
</span></span></span></b></div>
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<div id="ecxSkyDrivePlaceholder">
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<div>
<blockquote style="margin-bottom: 5.0pt; margin-top: 5.0pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12.0pt;">English lesson:<br />
<br />
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the</span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">difference
between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that<br />
is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between</span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">COMPLETE
and FINISHED. However, there is a difference.<br />
<br />
When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.<br />
<br />
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.<br />
<br />
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ---</span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">COMPLETELY
FINISHED!<br />
<br />
End of the lesson.</span></span></div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<><><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">A Pearly Gates one called Second Time.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"> </span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN-AU" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></span></div>
<pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
Second Time
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Smith, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Lynda. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Lynda a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Lynda is pregnant -
about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Lynda?"
Lynda says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there
doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came
over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!" </pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">One from my friend in Canberra.Thank you Linda.for Stud Rooster</span>.</pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">STUD ROOSTER</span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></pre>
<div>
</div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt;"><br />
</span><b><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 13pt;"><br />
A farmer went out one
day and bought a brand
new stud rooster for
his chicken coop. The
new rooster struts
over to the old
rooster and says,<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
"OK old fart, time for
you to retire."<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
The old rooster
replies, "Come on,
surely you cannot
handle<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
ALL of these chickens.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Look what it has done
to me.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Can't you just let me
have the two old hens
over in the corner?"<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
The young rooster
says,<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
"Beat it: You are
washed up<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
and I am taking over."<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
The old rooster says,<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
"I tell you what,
young stud.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
I will race you around
the farmhouse. Whoever
wins gets the
exclusive domain over
the entire chicken
coop." The young
rooster laughs.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
"You know you don't
stand a chance, old
man.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
So, just to be fair,<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
I will give you a head
start."<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
The old rooster takes
off running. About 15
seconds later the
young rooster takes
off running after him.
They round the front
porch of the farmhouse
and the young rooster
has closed the gap.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
He is only about 5
feet behind the old
rooster and gaining
fast. The farmer,
meanwhile, is sitting
in his usual spot on
the front porch<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
when he sees the
roosters running by.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
The Old Rooster is
squawking<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
and running as hard as
he can.<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
The Farmer grabs his
shotgun and<br />
- BOOM -<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
he blows the young
rooster to bits. The
farmer sadly shakes
his head and says,<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
"Dammit.....<br />
third gay rooster I
bought this month."<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt;"><br />
Moral of this story?
...<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<br />
Don't mess with the
OLD FARTS -<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
age, skill, wisdom,
and a little treachery<span class="ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><br />
always overcome youth
and arrogance!</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt;"> <><></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;">Last one tonight is from my old friend Barbara. Thanks Barbara.</span></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">Two
little boys,
ages 8 and 10,
are
excessively
mischievous.</span>
</span></span></b></div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">They
are always
getting into
trouble and
their parents
know if any
mischief
occurs in
their town,
the two boys
are probably
involved.</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
boys' mother
heard that a
preacher in
town had been
successful in
disciplining
children, so
she asked if
he would
speak with her
boys.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
preacher
agreed, but he
asked to see
them
individually.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
mother sent
the 8 year old
in the
morning, with
the older boy
to see the
preacher in
the afternoon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
preacher, a
huge man with
a deep booming
voice, sat the
younger boy
down and asked
him sternly,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">"Do
you know where
God is, son?"</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
boy's mouth
dropped open,
but he made no
response,
sitting there
wide-eyed with
his mouth
hanging open.</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">So
the preacher
repeated the
question in an
even sterner
tone,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">"Where
is God?! </span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">Again,
the boy made
no attempt to
answer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
preacher
raised his
voice even
more and shook
his finger in
the boy's face
and bellowed,
"WHERE IS
GOD?!"</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
boy screamed
& bolted
from the room,
ran directly
home &
dove into his
closet,
slamming the
door behind
him.</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">When
his older
brother found
him in the
closet, he
asked,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">"What
happened?"</span></div>
</div>
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">The
younger
brother,
gasping for
breath,
replied,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">"We
are in BIG
trouble this
time!"</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;">"GOD
is missing,
and they think
WE did it!"</span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><><></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Well it is time to say Goodnight / or Good-Day and get myself to bed before midnight strikes it's ugly sound.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">I hope you found something to smile about</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Look after yourselves and the ones you love. Find some joy in every day.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">I don't think I told you, a few weeks ago, we had a power failure just on dark and my</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">neighbor who brings my bins and papers in</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">came in to ask if I had any candles or lights</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Well I think I have more torches than anyone I know and also 3 lanterns. He said</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">his wife said you better check on Merle, so </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">wasn't that nice of both of them? I came in and cried. They say check on elderly neighbors. Bless them.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Love and best wishes to you Cheers, Merle. </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;">Post 806 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 28th October, 2012. Almost November - - - what fun !!!</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Harrington; font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: blue;"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt;"></span></b> </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
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</div>
</div>
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</span></div>
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-73070770447343736932012-10-21T23:04:00.000+11:002012-10-21T23:04:01.422+11:00Paper Route.Post 785 ~~ Sunday, 21st October, 2012. <br />
<br />
Hello my friends ~~ How is the world treating you? I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives. I have had a rather ordinary week, but happily I feel better so hope that next week will be better and I can catch up. (Ha Ha Ha) Never will, I guess.<br />
<br />
The weather has warmed up and a few days have not needed heaters on. I still put my<br />
electric blanket on to get into a warm bed helps my back. Then I turn it off after a while.<br />
<br />
I only had visitors two days, a cousin and his wife, and a niece the other day who I was pleased to see. Her father died recently and she has been very upset naturally and I have only seen Lorraine twice in 3 months. I was also glad to see Gordon and Phyll, who I saw last week. I always enjoy seeing them.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Well on with the job in hand. First tonight is from Mountain Wings called Paper Route.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"> </span> <br />
<pre wrap="">Paper Route
============
Forty-three years seems like a long time to remember the name of
a mere acquaintance. I have duly forgotten the name of an old
lady who was a customer on my paper route when I was a twelve-
year-old boy in Marinette, Wisconsin back in 1954. Yet it seems
like just yesterday that she taught me a lesson in forgiveness
that I can only hope to pass on to someone else someday.
On a mindless Saturday afternoon, a friend and I were throwing
rocks onto the roof of the old lady's house from a secluded spot
in her backyard. The object of our play was to observe how the
rocks changed to missiles as they rolled to the roofs edge and
shot out into the yard like comets falling from the sky.
I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride.
The stone was too smooth, however, so it slipped from my hand as
I let it go and headed straight for a small window on the old
lady's back porch. At the sound of fractured glass, we took off
from the old lady's yard faster than any of our missiles flew
off her roof. I was too scared about getting caught that first
night to be concerned about the old lady with the broken porch
window.
However, a few days later, when I was sure that I hadn't been
discovered, I started to feel guilty for her misfortune.
She still greeted me with a smile each day when I gave her the
paper, but I was no longer able to act comfortable in her
presence. I made up my mind that I would save my paper delivery
money, and in three weeks I had the seven dollars that I
calculated would cover the cost of her window.
I put the money in an envelope with a note explaining that I was
sorry for breaking her window and hoped that the seven dollars
would cover the cost for repairing it. I waited until it was
dark, snuck up to the old lady's house, and put the envelope of
retribution through the letter slot in her door. My soul felt
redeemed and I couldn't wait for the freedom of, once again,
looking straight into the old lady's eyes.
The next day, I handed the old lady her paper and was able to
return the warm smile that I was receiving from her. She
thanked me for the paper and said, "Here, I have something for
you."
It was a bag of cookies.
I thanked her and proceeded to eat the cookies as I continued my
route.
After several cookies, I felt an envelope and pulled it out of
the bag. When I opened the envelope, I was stunned.
Inside were the seven dollars and a short note that said,
"I'm proud of you."
~Author Unknown~</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">Another from Mountain Wings called "The Advice".</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span>The Advice
===========
I was on an entrepreneurship panel with Dr. Samuel R. Chand,
then President of Beulah Heights Bible College.
The panel was taking questions from the audience.
A young student asked Dr. Chand,
"What advice would you give a person just starting out and
wanting to start his own business?"
Dr. Chand answered:
"The advice I would give is to get advice."
This advice applies to so many of the things in life.
Get advice, don't try to figure all this out on your own. </pre>
<pre wrap=""> <><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">Next one is from my friend Warren in Brisbane, Qld.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">It is called Medicare, Aussie Style. Thanks Mate.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap="">The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,</pre>
<i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">
<br />
"Hello."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Mrs Sanders, please."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: red; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Speaking."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Mrs Sanders, this is Doctor Jones
at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his
biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr Sanders
arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to
your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too
good."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: red; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"What do you mean?" Mrs Sanders asks
nervously.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Well, one of the specimens tested
positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for
HIV. We can't tell which is which."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: red; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"That's dreadful! Can you do the test
again?" questioned Mrs Sanders.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will
only pay for these expensive tests once."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: red; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></i><i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">"The MEDICARE Help-desk recommend
that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.<br />
<br />
If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!!!"</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> <><></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">A Pearly Gates one called Mind Reader.</span></i><br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
Mind Reader
One day a young man was visiting the fair, over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said "For 50 dollars I'll teach you to be a mind
reader! Apply within."
So the young man thought that he'd give it a go, and went inside. Behind a small table inside was an old man, who looked up when the young man entered
and says, "Ah, you must be here for the mind reading lessons."
"Well, yes" the young man said.
"Well, follow me, and I'll give you your first lesson." Then the old man goes out the back of the tent and walks over to a hose, which he picks up one
end of. "Here, hold this hose."
"Why?" said the young man.
"It's part of the lesson," replies the old man, "Now, look in the end and tell me what you see."
So the young man looks into the end of the hose, and only sees darkness. "I don't see anything," he tells the old man.
Just then the old man turns on a tap, and the hose shoots water into the young mans face, "I had a feeling you'd do something like that!" the young
man shouts at the old man.
"You are now a mind reader!" the old man replies, "That'll be 50 dollars."
</pre>
<i><><></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: red;">Maybe the last for tonight is another from Mountain Wingscalled "Red Skelton's Recipe for a Perfect Marriage." I hope you enjoy this one, folks.</span> </i><br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
==============================================
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think
you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough, you will
see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean,
and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's
from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get
a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I
go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and
mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
She said... 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' So I
suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there
was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She
told me, 'In the lake.'
8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the
mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for
the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's
on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were
the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four
letter word... It was just clean and simple fun.... And he
always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.'</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><></pre>
<pre wrap=""> </pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">Last one is called Read about this Virus. Sent by my cousin in New Zealand Karyn. Thanks Karyn.</span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;"> </span></pre>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'; font-size: 13.5pt;">Subject:
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 36pt;">VIRUS
WARNING</span></b><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"><br /><br /></span></b><b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">A
VIRUS is going round called</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 42pt;">HOUSEWORK!!!!</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">If
you feel the need to start
housework.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">Stop
immediately.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">This
virus wipes out your social
life.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">If
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">With
housework go straight</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">To
the nearest store &</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">Buy
the only known antidote</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">Which
is called<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">CHOCOLATE</span></b><b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">Please
forward this warning
immediately</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #8000ff; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">To
at least 6 friends.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">If
you realize you do not have 6
friends</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 24pt;">You
are already
infected.</span></b></div>
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<td style="padding-bottom: 0.75pt; padding-left: 0.75pt; padding-right: 0.75pt; padding-top: 0.75pt; width: 100%;" width="100%">Well that is it for this Sunday. Take care of yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.</td></tr>
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Post 785 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 21st October, 2012.<br />
<><><> <br />
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6898025342845778058.post-76206222130732356582012-10-15T00:25:00.001+11:002012-10-15T00:25:18.805+11:00The Other Woman.Post 804 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 14th October, 2012.<br />
<br />
Hello my Friends ~~ Well I just lost this part of my post, by deleting one thing I thought, but no they took the lot. Just because I am very late starting tonight, now it's 11 pm.<br />
So will try to remember what I typed. I have had lots of visitors, which I enjoy a lot, but these days find it hard to cope and get very tired, then I sleep. Oh well !!!<br />
<br />
First I went shopping with my carer and that always makes me tired. Next day my care worker Rowena came for an hour and is aiming to get me more home care, and also shopping time. She wants me to ring a local supermarket to get heavy things delivered<br />
but apart from 4 bottles of lemonade a fortnight, which we both cope with, this kind lady<br />
said get a carton of lemonade delivered and that will save time with the extra hour to shop,<br />
says you could have a cup of coffee with my carer and sit and enjoy shopping time. I felt<br />
like asking if one is meant to enjoy life at this stage. So maybe Leonie can have coffee, I only drink water and lemonade. And i will try to enjoy the experience.!!!<br />
<br />
Later that day my cousins with a nearly new motor home have spent a week at Numurkah<br />
close to Shepparton, so always call to see me when they are in the area. I am 8 months<br />
older than David and when we were kids I used to smartly say "I'm older than you". Now he met me at the door and said " I'm younger than you" So the world turns. We had holidays<br />
with our families when I was 12 and slightly superior to him at 11, Pet 10 and his brother<br />
John was 9 and his sister about 5. Their motor home is wonderful, has everything you could want, bed of course, shower and toilet, fridge, oven and hot plates, sink and seats<br />
is front to watch TV or the front seats turn around to get to the driver's seat.<br />
<br />
Next day more cousins rang and said we will be up for an appointment to the Shepparton<br />
hospital about noon. So I got up and got ready, but left my electric blanket on thinking after they go, I will get back for an hour or so. BUT they stayed until nearly 4 pm so it was too late to go back to bed. Don't get me wrong I enjoy all these visits and everyon says I look and move around much better. Gordon had plastic surgery to remove a cancer from the top of his ear and as he is on warfarin he had to go to our hospital to get the dressing changed He had a patch of skin taken from his neck to put on the ear.He is 81 and I told him he has got taller. Big joke, I know I have shrunk.<br />
<br />
Well I had to talk and play with Fluff, and try to catchup on replies to my comments, which I will do tomorrow, as I think everyone has been and gone. <br />
I hope you are all well and happy with your lives. My friend I have known since he was 12<br />
managed to call twice in that time, Today and one wet day as he prunes fruit trees, and now has a break before he starts to pick fruit. So it has been full on fun.<br />
<br />
Phyll and Gordon brought a shepherd's pie and apple strudel for lunch, and she did all the cutting and serving and always makes their cups of tea, so I stand by my walker and get spoiled. Yesterday, my grand-daughter Krissy the beauty therapist from Denilquin where she lives with her sister Kate with the cafe which is doing very well and her partner, rang to<br />
say she was on her way to visit and stay overnight. A friend from nearby picked her up to go to the Shepparton Show, and for years anyone who goes to the Show ia asked to bring me Fairy Floss, so they did and came in later and we had a nice chat. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Well</span> <span style="color: red;">it is time to find some stories and jokes for you, and try not to delete ANYTHING.</span><br />
First one comes from Mountain Wings and is called "The Other Woman." Nice story.<br />
<br />
<br /><pre wrap="">The Other Woman
================
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping
alive the spark of love.
A little while ago, I went out with another woman.
It was really my wife's idea.
"I know you'll love her," she said one day, taking me by
surprise.
"But I love YOU too," I protested.
"I know, but you also love her."
The other woman who my wife wanted me to visit was my mother who
had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my
three children had made it possible to visit her only
occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a
movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked?
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night
call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with
you."
I responded, "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a
moment and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a
bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she,
too, seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her
hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate
her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was
as radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and
they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car.
"They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very
nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First
Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes
could only read large print.
Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were
small," she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,"
I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing
extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's
life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we
arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you
again, but only if you let me invite you."
I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,"
I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack.
It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do
anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with
a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I
had dined. An attached note said:
"I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't
be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates; one for you
and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you."
At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time:
"I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they
deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than God and your family.
Give them the time they deserve because these things cannot be
put off until "some other time."
~Author Unknown~</pre>
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<pre wrap=""><span style="color: red;">My friend Linda sent this next one. I shuddered reading it, but it's not too bad. Thank you Linda.</span></pre>
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<i><b>Subject:</b></i>
Trivia question... How did Bangkok get its
name....</div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: 'Century','serif'; font-size: 20pt;">Here
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">HOW DID I LIVE
ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT KNOWING THIS?</span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"></span></div>
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</span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">THE KINGDOM
OF THAILAND<br />
</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I'll bet
you never knew this!!! <br />
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In the original native culture of Thailand,
when males reached the age of 18 they had to
participate in the following community
ceremony:-<br />
</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">They lay
themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet
facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl
kneels over the ankles of each the men.<br />
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She places a blob of honey and various crushed
sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies
and insects. <br />
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(This keeps them off his face during the
ceremony)<br />
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A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful
naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance
in the centre of the circle.<br />
</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">As soon as
all the men become fully aroused and develop
erections, the kneeling girls then reach over
the knees, pull the fully erected penises
downwards as much as they can and then on a
given signal from the centre dancer release
them. <br />
</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 9pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"><br />
</span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">The men's
penises would then spring back up and go
"WHAP!" against their belly buttons. <br />
<br />
This exercise was a measurement of the
strength of their masculinity . . .the man who
killed the most flies was elected to the court
of the King. <br />
<br />
And that folk's is why the current capital of
Thailand came to be named Bangkok. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <><></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="color: red;">My friend Lee has sent me lots of jokes, but most have pictures</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"><span style="color: red;">that I haven't bothered to transfer. First one "Old Timer's Hospital Stay". Thank you Lee.</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Jim was an old man.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">He was sick and in the hospital.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">There was one nurse that just
drove him crazy.<br />
Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">She would say in a patronizing
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<i><span style="font-style: italic;">’And how are we doing this morning'</span></i></span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: 13.5pt;">,<br />
</span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 18.0pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Or</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt; font-style: italic;">'Are we ready
for a bath'</span></span></i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Or</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt; font-style: italic;">'Are we hungry
</span></span></i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">?'</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Old Jim had had enough</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">of this particular nurse.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">One day, at breakfast,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Old Jim took the apple juice off
the tray</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">And put it in his bed side
stand.<br />
Next, he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: 12.0pt;">So you know where the juice went !<br />
</span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 18.0pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">The nurse came in a little
later, picked<br />
Up the urine bottle and looked at it.<br />
</span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">'My,</span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">it seems we are a little cloudy
today. '</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">At this, Old Jim snatched the
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Out of her hand, popped off the top,<br />
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Maybe I can filter it better this time.'</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">nurse fainted</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Old Jim just smiled<br />
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">DON'T MESS WITH</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">'OLD' PEOPLE</span></span></div>
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<<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">><></span></span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> Another from Lee - Looking for the Hereafter. Thanks Lee.....</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Jim was an old man.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">He was sick and in the hospital.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">There was one nurse that just
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Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">She would say in a patronizing
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<i><span style="font-style: italic;">’And how are we doing this morning'</span></i></span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: 13.5pt;">,<br />
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Or</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt; font-style: italic;">'Are we ready
for a bath'</span></span></i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Or</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt; font-style: italic;">'Are we hungry
</span></span></i><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">?'</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">Old Jim had had enough</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">of this particular nurse.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">One day, at breakfast,</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Old Jim took the apple juice off
the tray</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">And put it in his bed side
stand.<br />
Next, he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-size: 12.0pt;">So you know where the juice went !<br />
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">The nurse came in a little
later, picked<br />
Up the urine bottle and looked at it.<br />
</span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">'My,</span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">it seems we are a little cloudy
today. '</span></span></div>
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bottle<br />
Out of her hand, popped off the top,<br />
And</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 13.5pt;">drank it down, saying,<br />
'Well, I'll run it through again.<br />
Maybe I can filter it better this time.'</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">DON'T MESS WITH</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #c62652; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 18.0pt;">'OLD' PEOPLE</span></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">One from Pearly Gates called "Heavenly Marriage."</span> </div>
<br />
<br /><pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
Heavenly Marriage
On their way to get married, a young couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The two found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting
for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up,
they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven,
SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered. "Are we stuck together forever?"
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard to the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it will take me to find a
lawyer?"</pre>
<pre wrap=""><><> </pre>
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Last one tonight, another from PearlyGates</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<pre wrap="">Here is today's PearlyGates item.
In Flight Announcement
A plane took off from Louisville International Airport, and when it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain started his announcements
over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 254, nonstop from Louisville to Miami. The weather ahead is good and we
expect a smooth and uneventful flight. So just sit back and relax - OH NOOOOOOOO!"
Silence followed for several minutes.
Finally the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the earlier scare. While I was talking, the flight
attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Back in coach, a passenger said to the person next to him, "That's nothing! He should see the back of mine!"
*The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fuelled feedback if sent to his other
more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s ok with that. And yes, he
would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons
other than the jokes he tells.
-----------------
</pre>
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Well it is officially Monday morning here, so that is quite enough. Take great care dear friends and look after one another and yourselves. Love and best wishes to you all.</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Cheers Merle.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: black;">Post 804 ~ ~ Sunday, 14th October, 2012.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: black;"><><><> </span> </span> <br />
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Merlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05763778255535640633noreply@blogger.com13