Deck of Cards.

Post 191 - - - - - Sunday, 22nd April, 2007.

Good Evening Friends ~~ I hope you are enjoying a lovely
weekend. Ours is over in Australia. We had a nice day today
with only 9 mms of rain yesterday. Nice for gardens, but not
near enough for the farmers and water storages.

As Anzac Day falls on the 25th April, I am posting an item
called "Deck of Cards", which is self-explanatory.
It is a day to remember and give thanks to the servicemen
and women who have helped to keep us free and to remember
those who paid the supreme sacrifice in all the wars. It is a
public holiday here and there are dawn services and marches in
every town and city all over our country and also New Zealand.

This was sent to me by my friend Raggedy a while ago and I
have saved it for this special day. Thanks Raggedy.

Deck of Cards

This is a story about a soldier in the North Africa Campaign
in World War 11. After heavy fighting, the men returned to
camp. The next day being Sunday, the Chaplain had set up a
church service. The men were asked to take out their Bibles
or Prayer Books.

The Chaplain noticed one soldier looking at a deck of cards.
After service, he was taken by the Chaplain to see the Major.
The Chaplain explained what he had seen. The Major told the
young soldier he would have to be punished if he could not
explain himself. The young soldier told the Major that during
the battle he had neither a Bible or a Prayer Book so he would
use his deck of cards and explained:

You see Sir when I look at the ACE, it tells me that there is
one GOD and no other.

When I see the 2, it reminds me that there are two parts to
the Bible, the OLD TESTAMENT and the new TESTAMENT.

The 3 tells me of the TRINITY OF GOD THE FATHER<>

The 4 reminds me of the FOUR GOSPELS, MATTHEW,
MARK, LUKE and JOHN>

When I see the 5, it tells me of the FIVE UNWISE
VIRGINS who were lost and the five were saved.

The 6 makes me mindful that GOD CREATED THE
EARTH in just six days, and God said that it was good.

GOD RESTED ON THE SEVENTH DAY.

As I look at the 8, it reminds me that GOD destroyed
all life by water except for 8 people. Noah, his wife,
their three sons, and their three wives.

When I see the 9, I think of the NINE LEPERS that
GOD healed. There were ten lepers in all, but only one
stopped to thank him.

The 10 reminds me of the TEN COMMANDMENTS
carved in stone by the hand of GOD.

The JACK makes me remember the Prince of Darkness.
Like a roaring lion, he devours those that he can.

When I look at the QUEEN, I see the BLESSED VIRGIN
MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS.

As I look at the last card, the KING it reminds me that
JESUS IS LORD OF LORDS and KING OF KINGS.

There are 365 spots on a deck of cards, the number
of days in a year.

There are 52 cards to a deck, the number of weeks in a year.

There are 12 picture cards, the number of months in a year.

There are 4 different suits in a deck, the number of months
in a quarter of a year….

And so, the young soldiier then said to the Major, “You see,
Sir, that my intentions were honourable. My deck of cards
serve as my Bible, My PRAYER BOOK and my ALMANAC.”

A deck of cards should remind us that we need JESUS
365 days, 52 weeks and 12 months a year and that we
should PRAY 4 others.

May you never look at a deck of cards the same way.

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Women's Vocabulary.

Yes = No.
No = Yes
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want.
It's your decision = the correct decision should be obvious
by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever
think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture and
wallpaper.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there !
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me = I did something today you're
really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me ? = (Too late, you're dead.)
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and
walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling ! = Yes, I'm yelling because I think this is
important.
The same old thing = Nothing.
Nothing = Everything.
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a jerk.

Men's Vocabulary.

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you.
May I have this dance ? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage.
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
fondle you.
What's wrong = I don't see why you're making such a big
deal about this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological
trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong ? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I love you too = Okay, I said it. . .we'd better have sex now.
Yes I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.
Yes I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look
that much different.
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I
am a deep person and maye then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me ? = I want to make it illegal for you to have
sex with other guys.
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Some Billboard Signs for "God Speaks."

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. - - God.

C'mon over and bring the kids. - - God.

What part of "Thou shall Not" don't you understand? -- God.

We need to talk. - - -God.

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. - -God.

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. - - - God.

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing. I meant it. - - God.

I love you and you and you and you and . . . . . - - God.

Will the road you're on get you to my place ? - - God.

Follow me - - - God.

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. - - God.

My way is the highway. - - God.

Need directions ? - - God.

You think it's hot here ? - - - God.

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. God

Do you have any idea where you're going ? - - God.

Don't make me come down there. - - - God.

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That's it for tonight Folks, Take care, Love to all, Merle.

Post 191 - - - - - Sunday, 22nd April, 2007.

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