Post 743 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 3rd July, 2011.
Hello My Friends ~~A very Happy 4th July to my American friends.
I hope all is well with you and life is good for you all. I am doing
better with my walking I think. I will see if the Physio agrees on
Wednesday when I go to see her again. I didn't think I would ever
do so many exercises in my life, but as I do want to get stronger and
back to where I was, I know I have to. They are not too bad either.
I had a surprise visit today when my Deniliquin, N.S.W. grandkids
came to see me and brought lunch with them and some for me.
It was lovely to see Kate and Scott and Joh. Kate and Scott are
in the process of buying a house with 6 acres of land on the edge
of town. Kate found it on the computer and it looks great, and
she will eventually bring her horse from her parent's place. They
each have a dog, so they will have plenty of room.
Kate's restaurant is doing very well. She only has Sundays off.
Tonight I have a nice piece called "My Vitamin F' which was sent
to me by my dear friend, Karen. Thank you so much my friend.
Why do I have a variety of friends who are all different in
character?
Some of them can be considered marginal friends even?
How do I get on with them all?
I think that each one helps to bring out a "different"part of me.
With one of them I am a polite, nice person.
I joke with another friend.
I sit down and talk about serious matters with one of them.
With another I giggle at every silly thing.
I listen to one friend's problems and give her advice.
Then I listen to another advising me.
They are all like pieces of a jigsaw.
When completed they form a treasure box.
A treasure of friends.
They are my friends who understand me better than myself
who support me through good days and bad days.
Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health.
Dr. Oz calls them Vitamin F (for Friends) and counts the
benefits of friends to our well being.
Research shows that people in strong social circles have less
risk of depression and terminal strokes.
If you take Vitamin F constantly you can be up to 30 years
younger than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops
stress and even in your tense moments, it decreases the
chance of cardiac arrest or stroke.
I am so thankful that I have a good supply of Vitamin F.
<><>
My cousin David sent me the next one"At The Law School"
Thanks David.
A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his
crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal
mind.
Student: " Sir do you really understand everything about this
subject?"
Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a
professor, would I?"
Student: " OK So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give
me the correct answer , I will accept my marks as it is. If you can't
give me the correct answer, however you'll have to give me an "A".
Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what's the question?"
Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and
neither logical nor legal?"
The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the
answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark
into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away very pleased.
The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all
afternoon, but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in a
group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really
tough question to answer. "What is legal but not logical, logical
but not legal,and neither logical nor legal?"
To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment) all the students
immediately raise their hands.
"All right" says the professor and asks his favorite student to answer.
"It's quite easy sir," says the student, "You see, you are 75 years
old and married to a 30 year old woman which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 22 year old lover which is logical but not legal. And
your wife's lover failed his exam but you just gave him an "A"
which is neither legal nor logical."
<><>
Things Never to say to a Cop.
1. I can't reach my licence unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with
me. Good job.
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
8. I pay your salary.
9. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning too.
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? OK, just so one of us
does.
11. I was trying to keep up with the traffic. Yes, I know there are
no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the officer says, "Gee your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with "Gee Officer, your
eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
<><>
Stupid Teacher.
There was this teacher who said, Jimmy look out the window
He looked. Do you see that tree outside? Jimmy said Yes.
The teacher asked Does it exist? Jimmy said Yes.
Then the teacher told Jimmy to go outside and look at the sky.
He returned in a couple of minutes ad she asked, Did you see the
sky. Jimmy said Yes. The teacher asked Does it exist?
Jimmy said Yes.
The teacher asked Did you see God? Jimmy said No.
The teacher said Exactly, that's because he doesn't exist.
A little girl raised her hand -- Jimmy do you see the tree outside?
Jimmy said Yes. Then the little girl asked Did you see the sky
when you went outside? Jimmy said Yes.
Then the little girl said Did you see the teacher's brain?
Jimmy said No.
Then the little girl said That's because it doesn't exist.
<><>
A joke from one of my Joke Books.
A man lives with his elderly mother and his cat and he loves them
dearly but he wanted to go on a holiday so he needed to find
someone to look after them. So he asked his friend. The friend
said, "Sure."
So the man went on holiday and as soon as he got there, he rang
to see if his cat was all right. "How's my cat doing?" he asked.
"Well actually," the friend explained, "She's dead."
How did that happen?" asked the man. "Well she was playing on
the roof with a ball of string and she fell."
"Oh, that's horrible..? he said, "Well, how's my mother?"
"She was on the roof playing with a ball of string as well."
<><>
A couple of quotes to finish with.
If life hands you lemons ... throw them back at life and say --
I WANT CHOCOLATE.
If you can't hold your friends in your arms . . .hold them in
your heart.
<><>;
That is it for tonight, my friends, I hope you found something
of interest. Look after yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 742 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 3rd June, 2011.
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15 comments:
Thanks for the giggles, Merle. Although I'm an atheist, I agree that the teacher had no brains. Otherwise 1) the teacher would have found more pursuasive arguments and 2) the teacher would not have had such a discussion with the students.
Cop Car
Hi Merle,
You begin the week on such a happy note.
I love the Vitamin F, the Law school and the cat joke.
(the guy who breaks dishes is named Chip), yeah, ..corny:D
j.
Merle
I love the Vitamin F and number 3&5 to not say to an officer are priceless. I am so happy you had such a pleasant visit from your Grand kids and that is wonderful news about them buying a house. Thank you for always making us smile and laugh. Have a wonderful week and I almost felt I was reading a post from my MIL first because she says the same about exercise. Peace and Love
Hi Merle, I'm pleased to see that you continue to improve. I don't think exercise is a bad thing for anyone to be doing whatever their age so you stick to it.
Hi Merle,
I'm glad you keep improving and doing your exercises. Your doing great keep it up. :)
I liked the vitamin F story, it reminds me of my daughter's friends.
Have a great week.
Janice~
Glad to hear that you R fine :)
and thanks for the laughs
it is a very dry and hot 4th here!
hope ya have a good week
huggs
I wonder if internet friends count too for Vitamin F. Seems like they should. I always like coming here, reading your stories and chuckling over the jokes.
Glad to see you're walking better. I always remember what our boys' pediatrician said--as long as you're getting better, everything's fine.
We're barbecuing hot dogs for our Fourth of July cookout today.
Hi Merle, the reason why I couldn't take a mix of red and white sweet pea to the house is because red and white flowers together are supposed to bring bad luck. Its not something I believe in but I've been asked not to do it so I don't, the white flowers got thrown on the compost heap which seems a shame to me.
Oops, Merle. I've got to check on Rob above. It's been a while and now he is throwing flowers away!
I loved the Vitamin F story. That may be what keeps me alive. I think 'down' every now and then but we do have a nice, very large, set of social friends. Most are in Mrs. Jim's Sunday school class. My classmates are older and we don't socialize together so much.
I've heard too that dogs are a wonderful source of Vitamin F. Dr. Oz didn't mention them. I love Adi amost as much as I do Mrs. Jim. We've been together 14 and 38 years respectively!
Loved the cop stories, even the drunk ones. I don't recommend that one bit but a lot of guys (me too??) had been there in their younger days.
The professor joke caught my eye but I don't laugh at illicite relationships after being the hurt party in my pre-Mrs. Jim days. But it still makes good joke material even though those hurt will cringe.
I'm glad you are doing better. You do know I'm scheduled for a total left knee joint replacement on July 18? They say therapy is the key to total recovery.
I remember Kate when she went into cooking school, studied abroad, and now has her own restaraunt and they are buying a house, a mini-farm!
Cheers,
..
I'm on Mrs. Jim's computer and she has her own Google. So no picture with Mr. Tin Man here today from me.
..
Hi Merle, it's great to hear you sound so chipper! Ken went back to work on Monday (in all that blasted rain) but he's happy to be back (so far...). He is only working a 4 day week so far, and he's happy to be having tomorrow off!
The list of things not to say to a cop reminded me of the time I was with a guy and he was caught for speeding. The cop asked to see his licence and said "What's your name and address?". The boyfriend replied "Can't you read?" I nearly had a fit! The cop just said "Don't get smart with me, son". I still giggle when I think of that!
As always Merle, a wonderful post, very uplifting and causing many smiles and chuckles!
I envy your family.. they're always dropping by and helping out. You're very fortunate! *S*
You have some good ones today, Merle. Thanks for your comments at my blog. Wow, I think your year trumps mine for trouble! I'm glad you are recovering - I seem to be as well. Hope you have a lovely day!
Nice to hear from you again and thank you so much for your birthday wishes ! I always forget to write birthday dates down, so I am very bad in birthday wishes !
My son and family are coming tomorrow for the weekend, so I will see my little 7 months old grandson again !
Hi Merle!
It's lovely and sunny over here ~ for once.
Finally after not really having proper eyewear for about 3 years I have new glasses that 1. work and 2. suit me. Wow. The world looks brand new.
I hope all's good with you.
Take care
xx
;-)
Thank you very much for being my Vitamin F all these years (((HUGS))) Merle :)
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