Post 43 - - - - - - - Monday. 16th October 2006.
Hello my friends, I hope all is well in your part of this
world of ours. All OK here. My visitor, Michelle has
arrived safely and we have enjoyed the day, She has
gone off to bed, as she has been so busy and is very
tired. She has sold her house, stored her furniture
settled all the business attached to that. Hopefully she
will feel brighter tomorrow.
Another oldie tonight, which I hope you will enjoy.
Children Learn What they Live.
If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn !
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight !
If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy !
If a child lives with shame
He learns to feel guilty !
If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be patient !
If a child lives with encouragement
He learns confidence !
If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate !
If a child lives with fairness
He learns justice !
If a child lives with security
He learns to have faith !
If a child lives with approval
He learns to like himself !
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship
He learns to find love in the world.
<><><><><><>
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really
hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the
drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper
than a doctor.
“Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it.
It only costs $10.”
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The machine
started making some noise, and various lights started flashing.
After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which
was printed: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.”
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology was and how it could change medical science
forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled
He mixed together some tap water, a stool samle from his and
urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he
masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug
store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited
the $10. The machine made the usual noises and printed the
following message ; “Your tap water is too hard. Get a water
softener. Your dog has worms. Get him some vitamins. Your
daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehab clinic. Your
wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer
Amd if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never
get better.”
<><><><>
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our csr, we were told that the keys had been locked
in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feveishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
“Hey,” I announced to the technician, “It’s open !” To which he
replied, “I know – I already got that side.”
<><><><>
I live in a small rural area.. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason : too many
deer were being hit by cars”, and he didn’t want them crossing there anymore.
<><><><>
Knowledge and understanding are life’s faithful companions who
will never be untrue to you. For knowledge is your crown, and
understanding your staff; and when they are with you, you can
possess no greater treasure. - - - Kahlil Gibran.
Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.
- - - Eileen Caddy.
The two best Physicians of them all ---- Dr. Laughter and
Dr Sleep. - - - Gregory Dean.
Enough for tonight. Take care my friends. Merle.
October 16th 2006. - - - - Post 43
9 comments:
Well you have Doctored me good with Laughter this evening Miz Merle!!
I got to come out to play for a little while as I'm not feeling terrible bad this evening after work...guess I'm getting somewhat used to it now!
:-D
I'm so glad you're having a wonderful time with Michelle...does sound like she's been awfully busy! I just know you'll make sure she has a nice relaxing visit:-)How long will she be staying? I so enjoyed your post again today...you always manage to make me smile and laugh:-) Take care dear Merle...hugs xox
Hi Merle.
Just had a laugh at your jokes as I always do.
Hope you enjoy Michelle's visit, stay well till I visit again.
Dear Merle
How true about the child,you just gave me a good laugh at the jokes and the sayings.
Have a lovely time with Michelle its nice to have company.
Take Care Keep smiling Love. Jan xxx.
Ps, ive missed aday ill will go have a read
Merle, I have always enjoy that poem about "Children Learn what they live". I hope I taught my children well by example. Sometimes I wonder.
Hi Merle. Thank you for your comment and putting me right about the singer of the song that I got wrong, lol. I bet Michelle's tired, she sounds as if she has hardly had time to scratch herself! Hope you two enjoy your time together.
Thanks for the jokes, especially the one about the sore elbow, that was really funny!
Take care, dear friend.
Love & hugs
Robyn xoxo
Your post always provides the prescribed laughter ;-) just got to work on the sleep bit!!!
Have a great time with Michelle.
What a lovely quote by Kahlil Gibran. You will be having a nice time today with your visitor, Michelle. I hope you have nice weather and a good time together.
Bests and hugs for you Merle (())
I've always wondered how the deer know exactly where to cross - ours say "deer crossing (with a picture) next 5 miles".
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