Oh! Happy Day.

Post 456 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 24th May, 2008.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you have all had as good
a day as I have. It is my 74th birthday, and it's
been a great day. My sons were both here today
and my daughters called as well as phone calls
from five of my grandkids. Had a couple of lovely
e cards which were a nice surprise. Even my friend
and neighbor Helen got into the act and arrived
with a lovely bunch of roses and purple salvia and
also some muffins she had made and a lovely card
she had embroidered, and Lorraine had made the
card but she has been away.

Geoff and Jo came up from Sunbury last night and we watched
football and had a nice evening together. Then this morning
Geoff as usual worked in my garden and generally tidied up
around the house. Might even inspire me to do more, now I
have the all clear. Remember, I have a bird hotel and hadn't
had luck with Alyssum seedlings, so Jan suggested we put
cacti there. So Geoff did that as well as other things.
Pictures following ~ ~

Bird Hotel with cacti plants in the bottom. A solar light comes on at night.
And happily the birds like it now and come to visit and feed. The post on
the right holds my rain gauge.


Close up of the plants.

Jo and Geoff when they arrived Friday night.


I had my hair cut and blow dried and it looked nice yesterday with nice waves
but sleeping on it didn't do much for it. The wave in front survived.

Just a couple of jokes as I am tired. This supervising is tiring
business, as is celebrating.

First one from my friend of long standing, Barbara
Thank you Barbara.

After an exhaustive review of the research literature,
here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6. The French eat fois-gras, full fat cheese and drink
red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION : Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
<><>


A DEEP VOICE>

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he
hears a deep voice: DIG!

He looks around; nobody's there. "I am having
hallucinations," he thinks. Then he hears the
voice again: I SAID DIG!

So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands,
and after a bit, he finds a small chest with a rusty
lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!

Okay, the man thinks, let's open this thing. He
finds a rock with which to break the lock, and
when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of
gold coins.
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!

Welll the casino is only a few miles away, so the man
takes the chest and walks to the casino.
The deep voice says " ROULETTE !

So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette
tokens and goes to one of the tables where the players
gaze at him with disbelief.
The deep voice says: 27!

The man takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27.
The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when
the croupier throws the ball.

The ball stops at 26.
The deep voice says: OOOPS!
<><>

A few funny birthday quotes ~ ~

Inside every old person is a younger person
wondering what the hell happened.
~~~ Cora Harvey Armstrong.

To me, old age is always fifteen years older
than I am. ~~Bernard Mannes Baruch.

You are only young once, but you can be
immature for a lifetime. ~~John P. Grier.

Growing old is like being increasingly
penalised for a crime you have not
committed.~ ~ Anthony Dymoke Powell.
<><>

Well that is it for this post. See you again
before too long. Take great care of yourselves
and each other. Stay well and keep smiling.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend, my friends.
Love andbest wishes to you all.
Cheers , Merle.

Post 456 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 24th May, 2008.
<><><>

Beautiful Women's Month.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.




Hello Everyone ~~ Nice to be with you all as we get
close to another weekend. These weeks sure do slip
by, don't they? I hope the week is going well for all
of you. It has been a different sort for me.

I saw my Eye Specialist last Friday, who told me I
have had a small haemorrhage in my eye, which
explains my worsening eyesight. He sent me to have
an ultra scan on my carotid arteries (one either side
of the Adam's apple), as he thought I had some small
clots in that artery. I had that done yesterday, totally
painless, and with great results. It has proven to be
satisfactory and I can stop worrying now about the
possibility having a stroke or at best an operation.

My son, John came from work and took me, although
I could have got a taxi. Anyway it was good to have
moral support, and then John, Heather and I went
out for dinner, which I enjoyed muchly. Not sure if
that is a word, but after the few days of worry I have
had, I feel as if I'm entitled. Hi Jim.

My niece Vicki sent me the following article, so I
have decided to share it. Vicki is still having severe
pain, but we are still hoping and praying for a good
outcome. Thank you Vick for the e mails.

Beautiful Women's Month.

Age 3 She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8 She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15 She looks at herself and sees an Ugly
Sister,(Mum, I can't go to school looking like this.)

Age 20 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too short/ too tall/ too straight/ too curly'
but she decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too thin/ too short/ too straight/ too curly' -
but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's
going out anuway.

Age 40 She looks at herself and sees 'clean' and
goes out anyway.

Age 50 She looks at herself and sees 'I am" and
goes wherever she wants to.

Age 60 She looks at herself and reminds herself
of all the people who can't even see themselves in
the mirror any-more - so she goes out and
conquers the world.
Age 70 She looks at herself and sees wisdom,
laughter and ability and goes out to enjoy life.

Age 80 Doesn't even bother to look - just puts
on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with
the world.


Maybe we should put on a purple hat (see above pic)
earlier. . . .

Pass this on on to all the women you are grateful to
have as friends. If you do, something good will
happen. You will boost another woman's self esteem.
<><>

Now to find some jokes for you ~ ~ ~
First ones from Lady Di. Thanks again Dianne.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto ! The
blockage will instantly disappear.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while
you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting
the toilet seat - use the sink.

4. For High Blood pressure sufferers - simply cut
yourself snd bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct
tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD 40. If
it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember - Everyone seems normal until you get
to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an
electrical problem.

Daily thought: some people are like slinkies - not really
good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face
when pushed down the stairs.
<><>

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla
became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined
the problem, The gorilla was on heat. To make matters
worse, there were no male gorillas of the species
available.

While reflecting on their problem the zoo management
noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing
the zoo's machinery. Rick, like most Kiwis, had little
sens but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to
satisfy the female of any species.

So the zoo administrators thought they might have
a solution and approached Rick with a proposition

Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla
for $500? Rick showed some interest, but said he
would have to think it over carefully.

The following day, Rick announced he would
accept their offer, but only with three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss her."
Secondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."

The zoo administrators quickly agreed to these
conditions, then asked about his third condition.
"Well," said Rick, "You gotta give me another wik
to come up with the $500."
<><>

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They
lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for
all, you can't have your kayak and heat it.
<><>

Better move to another book I think.
Ned took a job in Canada's far frozen north
"Here's your emergency survival kit," said his
boss. "It contains a box of flares, a radio and a
pack of cards."
"What are the cards for?" asked Ned.

"In case the flares don't work, and the radio
freezes up," replies the boss. "Just take out the
cards and play Solitaire. In about ten seconds
someone will tap you on the shoulder and say,
"Put the red nine on the black ten." "
<><>~ ~ ~ Kevin Hilders.

Sign on company notice-board: "This firm
requires no physical programme. Everyone
gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions,
flying off the handle, running down the boss,
flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the
back, dodging responsibility and pushing
their luck." ~ ~ Financial Times.
<><>

When her husband's will was read, a widow
learned that he had left the bulk of his fortune
to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to
change the inscription on her spouse's tomb-
stone.

"Sorry lady," said the stone-cutter, "I have
inscribed "Rest in Peace' on your orders. I can't
change it now.:

"Very well, " she said grimly, "Just add "Until
We Meet Again." ~~ Robert E. Cantell
<><>

Two church members were comparing the
sermons of the vicar and the curate.
"Personally, I prefer the curate," said one.
"Why is that?" asked the other.

"Well, he always says 'in conclusion' and
concludes," replies the first , "and the vicar
always says, 'lastly' and lasts."
~ ~ ~ Beverley Powell.
<><>

A New South Wales fisherman lost his dentures
over the side of the boat in rough weather, so
his prankster friend removed his own false teeth,
tied them to his line and pretended he had
caught the missing gnashers.

Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried
putting them into his mouth, then hurled them
into the sea with the disgusted remark, "They're
not mine. They don't fit."
~ ~ Column 8, Sydney Morning Herald.
<><>

And a few sayings to finish with ~ ~ ~

It is said that you can't take it with you; I say
there are two things you can take with you,
The things you do for others and the things you
do to others, ~~ Harold H Cornett. Jnr.


Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their
echoes are truly endless. ~ ~ Mother Teresa.

Knowledge is power. ~ Francis Bacon.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and
you cry alone. ~ ~ ~ Horace.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away. ~ ~ Unknown.

That is it for tonight, my friends, Keep on
smiling and love one another. Love and
best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.
<><><>

A Cuppa With Jeanette.

Post 454 ~~ Monday, 19th May, 2008.

Hello My Friends ~~ Just a little quickie extra to
show you how lovely my dear friend Jeanette is.
She was returning from Melbourne and stayed
with her daughter Carol and family last night.
Then this morning popped in here for a lovely
chat and catch up and of course, the cuppa.
(What we call a cup of tea or even coffee, it is
still a cuppa.)

Love that happy smile, Jan.



Another nice one taken on my front porch, on her way home.

My son John went on a long Far Riders Motor-cycle ride over
the weekend so I was pleased to hear from him last night and
he called in today to see me at lunch time.

The Far Riders have to ride 1000 kilometres to go to their
meetings at various places. I was amused to learn when one
meeting was held in the hometown of one of them, he had to
ride 500 km and back again to qualify. John didn't strike
much rain, although here we have had 3 days of it. But no
one is complaining.

Guess I had better find a few jokes ~I can read the papers later

During the last war a man received his draft papers and was
told to report for a medical.

Pretending to have bad eyesight, when he was told by the
optician to read the chart, he asked,"What chart?" When
the physician held up a broom handle, the man said it was
a pencil and was declared unsuitable for the army.

That evening, he went to the cinema, but when the lights
came up he was horrified to see the optician was sitting
beside him. Leaning towards him, the man asked, "Does
this bus stop stop at Trafalgar Square?"
<><> ~ ~ ~ John Kearns.


Heard about the new diet? You eat whatever you want,
whenever you want and as much as you want. You don't
lose any weight, but it's really easy to stick to it.
<><> ~ ~ ~ George J. Tricker.

" Mummy has no idea how to raise children," said the
child to his father.
"How can you say such a thing?" replied the father.

"Well she sends me to bed at night, when I'm not
sleepy, and wakes me in the morning when I am.
<><> ~ ~ ~ Sandor Szabo.

Overheard : Marriage is nature's way of keeping
people from fighting with strangers. ~ ~ Alan King.
<><>

Customer to man in shop: "I'd like to exchange
this diet-and-workout tape for one of self acceptance."
<><> ~ ~ ~ Kevin Fagan.

A ninety year old man checked into a posh hotel to
celebrate his birthday. As a surprise, some friends
sent a call girl to his room.
When he answered the door , he saw before him a
beautiful young woman. "I have a present for you."
she said.
"Really ?" replied the bewildered gent.

"I'm here to give you super sex," she whispered.
"Thanks," he said thoughtfully, "I'll take the soup."
<><> ~ ~ ~ Dorian Goldstein.

Well that's it for today. Keep smiling and be kind
to one another. Love and Best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 454 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 19th May, 2008.
<><><>

Giving Up Too Soon.

Post 453 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 18th May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope you are having a great week-
end. It has been raining here most of it, but we badly
needed it. It has been very cold though, and the heater
is working well, thankfully. It makes you think of the
unfortunate people who are homeless or too poor to
have the warmth that they need. I don't know how they
survive and wish there was more we could do for them.

I have a short story called "Giving up too Soon" which
I hope you will enjoy. Author is Unknown.

A man meets a guru on the road. The man asks the
guru, "Which way is success?"

The berobed, bearded sage speaks not, but points to
a place off in the distance.

The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy
success, rushes off in the appropriate direction.
Suddenly, there comes a loud "SPLAT>"

Eventually, the man limps back, tattered and stunned
assuming he must have misinterpreted the message. He
repeats his question to the guru, who again points
silently in the same direction.

The man obediently walks off once more. This time the
SPLAT is deafening, and when the man crawls back. he
is bloody, broken, tattered and irate. "I asked you which
way is success," he screams at the guru. "I followed the
direction you indicated. And all I got was splatted ! No
more of this pointing. Talk !!"

Only then did the guru speak, and what he says is this :
"Success IS that way, just a little PAST splat."
<><>

Time for some jokes ~ ~ ~
I received some from my friend Kim who was my daughter
Kathy's bridesmaid 21 years ago. Thanks Kim, good ones.

Actual call centre conversations. It takes ALL sorts to
be in this world !!!! The last one is brilliant.

Customer: I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days
and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir?
Customer: It was on the door to the Travel Centre.
Operator: Sir, they are our opening hours.


Samsung Electronics
Caller: Can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator: I am sorry, sir, I don't understand who
you are talking about.
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it
clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine
from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
cleaning. Now can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on
the wall.


RAC Motoring Services
Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover
me when I am travelling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn't the product name give you a clue?


Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while
travelling in France) : If I register my car in France,
do I have to change the steering wheel to the other
side of the car?


Directory Enquries
Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar
in Cardiff please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there is no listing. Is the spelling
correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be the Bargoed Fish Bar, but
the "B" fell off.


Then there was the caller for a knitwear company in
Woven.
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven
in Scotland.


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing
sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window
to write the number on.


Tech Support: I need you to right click on Open Desktop.
Customer" OK.
Tech Support: Did you get a pop up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: OK. Right Click again. Do you see a pop-
up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?
Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'.


Tech Support: OK. In the bottom left hand side of
the screen, can you see the OK button displayed?
Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?


There's always one. This has to be one of the funniest
things in a long time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word
Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however he/she is
currently suing the Word Perfect organization for
"Termination without Cause.

Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect customer
Support employee. (Now I know why they record these
conversations.)

Operator: (male) Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may
I help you?
Caller: (female) Yes, well I'm having trouble with Word-
Perfect.
Operator : What sort of trouble?
Caller: Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away.
Operator: Went away ?
Caller: They disappeared.
Operator: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Caller: Nothing.
Operator: Nothing ??
Caller: It's blank; it won't accept anything I type.
Operator: Are you still in Word Perfect, or did
you get out??
Caller: How do I tell?
Operator: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Caller: What's a sea prompt?
Operator: Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?
Caller: There isn't any cursor; I told you it won't
accept anything I type.
Operator: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Caller: What's a monitor?
Operator:It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV, Does it have a little light that tells you
when it's on??
Caller: I don't know.
Operator: Well, look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see
that?
Caller: Yes, I think so.
Operator: Great. Follow the cord to the plug and tell
me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: Yes it is.
Operator: When you were behind the monitor, did
you notice that there were two cables plugged into
the back of it, not just one ??
Caller: No.
Operator: Well, there are. I need you to go back
there again and find the other cable.
Caller: Okay, here it is.
Operator: Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged in securely into the back of your computer.
Caller: I can't reach.
Operator: Uh huh. Well can you see if it is??
Caller: No.
Operator: Even if you put your knee on something
and lean way over??
Caller : Oh, it's not that I don't have the right angle
-- it's because it is dark.
Operator: Dark??
Caller: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: Well turn on the office light then.
Caller: I can't.
Operator: No? Why not?
Caller: Because there's a power failure.
Operator: A power. . . . A power failure? Aha, Okay,
we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and packing stuff that your computer
came in??
Caller: Well, yes. I keep them in the closet.
Operator: Good. Go get them, and unplug your
system and pack it up like it was when you got it.Then
take it back to the store you bought it from.
Caller Really? Is it that bad?
Operator: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Caller: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?
Operator: Tell them you're too f...ing stupid to own
a computer !!!!!
<><>
I thought that one was really funny and will be hard
to beat, but I found some blonde ones, so here goes.

A well dressed blonde walks inti a bar with a piglet
under her arm and the barman asks, "What'll it be?"
A bowl of peanuts forme and a lemon, lime and
bitters for the blonde," the pig replies.

"That's amazing," says the barman,
Where did you get that?"
"In the CBD at lunchtime," the pig replies, "There's
lots of them !"
<><>

A man has ducked into the supermarket to grab a
few items when he notices a blonde woman waving
furiously at him from across the aisle. Even though
he does not know who she is, he goes to her,
anyway, a little unsure, and says, "I'm sorry, where
do I know you from?"

She says, "I think you are the father of one of my kids."
This sends the man into a panic, as he tries to remember
the few times he has been unfaithful to his wife. Then he
remembers . . . " Were you the raunchy blonde stripper
with the whips and leather from that weekend long bucks
party thhat I ended up screwing?" he asks.

"No ," the woman replies, "I'm your sons English teacher.
<><>

An older man was married to a younger woman. After
several years of happy marriage, he has a heart attack
and the doctor advised him to prolong his life, they
should cut out sex. He and his wife discussed the matter
and decided he should sleep in the family room down-
stairs to save them both from temptation.

One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without
sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his
wife on the stairs, saying"I was coming up to die."
She laughed, and replied, " I was coming down to kill you."
<><>

A man is recovering after surgery when a nurse asks him
how he is feeling.
"I'm OK, but I didn't like the four letter word the doctor used
just as I was dozing off after the anesthetic injection.: he says.
"What did he say?" the nurse asks.
" OOPS."
<><>
Some Great Quotes from Great Leaders.
These are from Benjamin Franklin.

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain
a little security, will deserve neither and lose both.

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too
late.

All mankind is divided into 3 classes: those that are
unmovable, those that are movable, and those that move.

Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning.

Take time for all things; great haste makes great waste.

He does not possess wealth; it possesses him.

Never leave that until tomorrow, what you can do today.

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

Well done is better than well said.
<><>
That is it for tonight my friends, I hope you found
something of interest or a chuckle. Take care of
yourselves and your loved ones. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

I had a phone call from our blogging friend Jeanette
earlier, and she is coming in for a cuppa tomorrow.
Will be nice to see you Jan.

Post 453 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 18th May, 2008.
<><><>

When You Thought I wasn't Looking.

Post 452 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 16th May, 2008

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you are all well and
looking forward to the weekend. I hope it is
a good one for all. I have been to an Eye
Specialist today and had all sorts of drops
put in my eyes, so my vision is not great. I
have to have an ultra-scan done next week
so that sounds like a lot of fun. Not.

We have another Birthday girl with us. My
blogger friend Janice has her birthday on
16th of May. I hope you have a lovely day
Janice with lots of fun. Please pop over and
help her celebrate.

A few pictures for you ~ ~ ~ First one is a new ornament I bought from my Avon Lady It is called
Stretching Lady and it is about ten inches high. I like it a lot.



A lovely bunch of white Chrysanthemums my friend Lorraine gave me
for Mother's Day. Thanks, Lorraine.


This is a little water proof Easter Rabbit that Geoff and Jo brought
me at Easter. It has 4 small roses in the pot that have white flowers.

First article tonight was sent by my friend, Barbara and
I hope you enjoy it. I did. Thanks Barbara. It is called
"When You Thought I Wasn't Looking."

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed
a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things
can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk
to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make
a meal and take it to a sick friend, and I learned that
we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take
care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned
we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
you handled your responsibilities, even when you
didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to
be responsable when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt but it is all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you
and wanted to say "Thanks for all the things I saw
when you thought I wasn't looking."

To all the people I know who do so much for others,
But thinks that No one ever sees, Little eyes see a lot.

Each of us ( parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle,
teacher or friend) influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today?
Just by passing this on to someone else, you will
probably make them at least think about their
influence on others.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
<><>

A guy says to the bartender, "A glass of your
finest Less, please."
"Less ? Never heard of it."
"Come on, Sure you have."

:No really, we don't stock it. What is it? Some
kind of foreign beer?"
"I'm not quite sure. It was my doctor who mentioned
it He said I should drink Less."
<><>
Sister Mary Ann's Gasoline.
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health
agency, was out making her rounds visiting
home-bound patients when she ran out of gas.

As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station
was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and
buy some gas. The attendant told her the only gas
can he owned had been loaned out., but she could
wait until it was returned.

Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient,
so she decided not to wait, and went back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could
fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to
the patient.

Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carries the bed-
pan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried
the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring it into her tank, two Baptists
watched from across the street. One of them turned
to the other and said:
"If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."
Sorry I don't remember who sent this one, but thanks.
<><> Lady Di == who else?

This was sent by two friend, Robyn and Jeanette.
Thanks girls.

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they
are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered
in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son.' "What can I do for you?"

Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are
there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks
for a moment and answers, "No Grumpy, there are no
dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any
dwarf nuns in Europe ?"

The Pope, puzzled now, thinks for a moment and
then answers, "No Grumpy, there are no dwarf
nuns in Europe."
This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them.

Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr..Pope! Are there
ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm
sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in
the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and
laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their
cheeks, as they began chanting . . . . . .
"Grumpy shagged a penguin. Grumpy shagged a penguin."
<><>

Time to get off to bed. I hope you all have a great weekend.
Keep smiling and be kind to each other. Love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 452 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 16th May, 2008.

<><><>

Kiss In a Box.

Post 451 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 14th May, 2008.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope the world is treating you nicely
wherever you are. All well here, another sunny day and
my Lawn Mower man came and cut the lawns. They are
not growing as fast as they do in the Spring-time.

I have been cooking today, a microwave chicken and
lots of roast veggies, including Cauliflower & Broccoli
cooked and then put into an oven proof dish. Made white
sauce and poured over, sprinkle with cheese an bake in oven.

I have a nice story tonight, sent to me by my blogging friend

Dave. Thank you Dave, a nice story.

Kiss in a Box.

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his three
year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper.
Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child
tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Never the less, the little girl brought the gift to her father
the next morning and said, "This is for you Daddy."

He was embarrassed over his earlier over-reaction, but his
anger flared again when he found the box empty. He yelled
at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a
present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and
said, " Oh Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box.
All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little
girl, and begged her to forgive him. It is told that the man
kept that little gold box by his bed for years and whenever
he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss
and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given
a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses
from our children, family and friends. There is no more
precious possession anyone could hold.
<><>

The Young Bible Class. This was sent to me by Lady Di.
Thank you Dianne.

The Twelve Opossums.
One of our favorite jobs has been leading junior church.
We aim to give them a solid background in biblical history.
At the end of each year, we give them pencils and paper
and ask them to chronicle what they have learned. This
assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses.

In case you are a little foggy on your biblical history, let our
junior church students help you with this complete over-
view of the Bible, compiled from their essays. :

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was
nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,
"The Lord thy God is one." but I think He must be a lot older
than that. Anyway, God said, "Give me a light," and some-
one did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and
made Eve.
Adan and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed
because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve
disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven
from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven
in though, because they didn't have cars.

One of the most important people was Noah, who was a
good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built
a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He
asked some other people to join him, buy they said they
would have to take a rain check.

Adam and Eve had a son,Cain, who hated his brother as
long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people
died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a
million or something.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was
more famous than his brother, Esau because Esau sold
Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob
had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was
Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt
and away from the Pharoah after God sent ten plagues on
Pharoah's people.
These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no
cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.

Then He gave them His top ten commandants. These include
don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's
bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not
supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks
about the President.) Oh yeah, I just thought of one more :
Humor thy father and your mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible
guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the
fence fell over on the town. After Joshua, came David. He got
to be king by killing a giant with a sling-shot. He had a son
named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 Porcupines.
M teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon, there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and
then barfed up on the shore. There were some minor league
prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament, came the New Testament. Jesus is the
star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.
( I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my Mom is always
telling me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would
be nice to say, "As a matter of fact, I was.")

During his life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the
Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that
they named a terrible vegetable after him

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even
preached to some Germans on the mount. But the Republicans
and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.
Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the
Aluminum. His returnis foretold in the book of Revolution.

There! Now you understand it.
<><><>

Some from the paper. How dumb are you quiz. ??

1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is "bread." If you said toast, then give up
now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said "bread" go to question 2.

2. Say :silk" five times. Now spell "silk" What do cows
drink? The answer is cows drink water. If you said,
:milk: please do not attempt the next question. Your
brain is obviously over stressed and may even over-
hrat. Maybe that you need to content yourself with
reading something more appropriate, such as
"Children's World. If you said "water" proceed to No. 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue
house is made from blue bricks; and a pink house is
made from pink bricks and a black house is made from
black bricks; what are greenhouses made from.

Answer : Green houses are made from glass. If you
said, "green houses", what the heck are you still doing
here reading these questions. If you said "glass" go to
the next question.
.
4.Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany. If you recall, Germany was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany.
Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot,
realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,
decides on a crash landing. Unfortunately, the engine
fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in
the middle of "no man's land Where would you bury
the survivors- East or West or no man's land?

Answer : You don't of course, bury survivors. If you
said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you
must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash.
Your efforts would not be appreciated

5. Without using a calculator. You are driving a bus
from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London,
seventeen people get on the bus. In Reading, six people
get off and nine more get on. In Swindon,two people
get off and four get on. In Cardiff, eleven get off and
sixteen get on. In Swansea, three people get off and
five get on. In Carmathen, six get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name
of the bus driver?

Answer : Oh, for Heaven sake !! It was YOU. Read the
first line !!!
<><>

I took a few photos ~ ~ ~


This is one of the fairies that Geoff and Jo brought for Mother's Day.



This is the other one with two little cherubs faces.



My fairy garden needs some new bright flowers in it.




This is my next door neighbor's beautiful Japanese Maple tree with it's
Autumn coat on . It looks lovely.
<><>

Well, I have to close as I am battling to keep my eyes open, Better luck
next time. Take care and be kind to each other. Love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 451 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 14th May, 2008.
<><><>

One Last Mother's Day One.

Post 450 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 12th May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ This will not be a long post as I have
to go shopping tomorrow so need to go to bed earlier than
I usually do. I hope all is well with you all as we begin a new
week. We have had some beautiful weather here lately
with a temperature around 18 - 20 C which is mid 60 s F
which is not too hard to take.

My dear friend Ann (aka Granny) sent me this article about
Mother's Day, that we know is now over, but I liked it.
Thank you so much Ann for going to the trouble to send it.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick
toddlers in their arms, wiping up the puke laced with Oscar
Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's Okay,
honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing
crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up
in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in
their purss.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and
sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never
see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them
homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are
hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal
bleachers at football, hockey or soccer games instead of
watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when
their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say,
"Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and
mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the
grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp
their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for
all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how
child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children
and explained all about making babies. And for all the
(grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the
words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children
can eat.

Happy Mother's Day.
<><><>

Now a few jokes just to keep us all smiling ~ ~ ~
First one if from my friend Gina Thank you Gina.

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who
was better on the computer. They had been going at it for
days, and feankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT, I've had enough. I am
going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those
results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e mailed.
They e mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spread-sheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was
faster than Hell.
Then ten minutes before their time is up, lightning
suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain
poured , and of course the power went off. . . .

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them
restarted their computers. Satan started searching
frantically , screaming :
"It's gone, it's all GONE. I lost everything when the
power went out."

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his
files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait," he screamed. "That's not fair. He cheated. How
come he has all his work from the last two hours of work.
and I don't have any.

God just shrugged and said : "JESUS SAVES."
<><>
One from my friend Lady Di Thank you Dianne.

I'M FINE.
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the
trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine ?"
asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you
what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule,
Bessie, into the. . ." "Just answer the question? Did you
not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm Fine' ?"

Clyde said,"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I
was driving down the road. . . ."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am
trying to establish the fact that at the scene accident this
man told the Highway Control-man on the scene that he was
just fine. He is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer
and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say
about his favorite mule, Bessie."

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was
saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule into the
trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge
semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck
right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was
thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want
to move. However I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning.

I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly
after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over
to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot
her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the
road, gun in hand, looked at me and said,"How are you feeling?

Now what the hell would you say ?"
<><><>

An elderly man stumbled across a talking frog, who proceeded
to tell him, :Sir, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess and we can be married and live happily ever after."

The man was amazed and picked up the frog, asking 'Was that
really you talking. The frog repeated, "Yes sir, if you kiss me,
I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can be married and
live happily ever after."

The man was very pleased with his discovery and put the frog
into his pocket. The frog said, " Aren't you going to kiss me?"

The man replied, "At this stage of my life, I think I'd rather
have a talking frog than a wife."
<><>

Well it's time to say Goodnight. Have a lovely day tomorrow
and be kind to one another. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 450 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 12th May, 2008

Happy Mother's Day.

Post 449 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 10th May, 2008.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you are all doing well and
things are a lot better around here too, thank
goodness. I would like to wish all the Mothers and
Grandmothers a very Happy Day on Sunday for
Mother's Day.

I had my son Geoff and his wife Joanne come today
from Melbourne and they worked in my garden for
a couple of hours, so that was great. They then took
me out for a meal and that was a nice change. I had
Lemon chicken which is a favourite of mine.

They also brought me two lovely fairy ornaments
for my fairy garden. They are really nice ones.
Tomorrow I will take some photos.

Then tomorrow, John and his girlfriend are taking
me to the market we went to a month ago. So, it's
all happening here, which has given me a lift, as I
have been down a little lately.
Mother's Day is always sad for me, as my mother
has been gone for 31 years, but you always miss your
Mum.

Jo and Geoff gave me a lovely book called "A Mother
is Love." many many years ago, so I will find a few
verses from it. Thank you both for a good day and for
the gifts you brought me Geoff and Jo.

Hundreds of stars in the pretty sky,
Hundreds of shells on the shore together,
Hundreds of birds that go singing bt,
Hundreds of birds in the sunny weather.

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
Author Unknown.

Who ran to me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Mother. ~ ~ ~ Ann Taylor.

God made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old;
He made her smile of the sunshine,
And he molded her heart of pure gold;

In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks, fair roses you see;
God made a wonderful mother,
And he gave that dear mother to me.
~ ~ ~ Pat O'Reilly.
<><><>

A few jokes from the paper ~ ~ ~
Real Classified Ads ~ ~

Lost : small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered.
Like one of the family.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef
$2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale :an antique desk suitable for lady with
thick legs and large drawers.

Foe Sale : Dog for sale, eats anything and is fond
of children.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but are
so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Stock up and save. Limit : one.

Used cars : Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come
here first!!

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with
round bottom for efficient beating.
<><>

There is a picture of Don Rickles and says he
invented the insult roast.
Quotes and insults ~ ~ ~

A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too.

I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting
on it.

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.

Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I
know you have a palm.

Make a mental note . . .oh, I see you are out of paper.

Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Are you always this stupid or is today a special
occasion ?

Are your parents siblings.

As an outsider. what do you think of the human race ?
<><>

Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic agnostic ?
He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.
~ ~ ~ Daniel J, Klaiman.

After being laid off from five different jobs in four
months. Arnold was hired by a warehouse. But one day
he lost control of a forklift truck and drove it off the
loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook
his head and said he'd have to withhold 10% of Arnold's
wages each month to pay for the repairs. "How long will
that take?" asked Arnold. "About four years," said the
owner. "What a relief," exclaimed Arnold. "I've finally
got job security. ~ ~ David E. Sees.

Irving was boasting to a fellow fisherman about a
20 pound salmon he had caught. "Twenty pounds huh?"
remarked the other guy with scepticism. "Were there
any witnesses?"

"Of course," said Irving. "Otherwise it would have
weighed thirty pounds." ~ ~ Joey Adams.
<><>

"What are you so happy about?" a woman asked
the 98 year old man.
"I broke a mirror," he replied
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
"I know," he said, "Isn't it wonderful?"
~ ~ ~ Bob Monkhouse.
<><>

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside, He
picked it up and rubbed it vigorously and a genie
appeared. "I'll grant you your fondest wish," the
genie said.. The man thought for a moment, then
said, "I want a spectacular job -- a job no man has
ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."

"Poof," said the genie. "You're a housewife."
~ ~ ~ Nicole Burke.

A traffic cop pulled over a speeding motorist and
asked, "Do you have any ID?"
The motorist replied, "About what ?"
Martha B. Roberts.
<><>

You don't see me at Vegas or the track throwing my
money around any more." says Bob Hope. "I've got
a government to support.
<><>

John teaching his parrot to talk : "Repeat after me,
"I can walk." Parrot: "I can walk."
John : "I can talk." Parrot : "I can talk."
John : "I can fly." Parrot : "That's a lie."
~ ~ ~ Fateh Zung Singh.
<><>

A few sayings to finish with ~ ~ ~

If you want something done right, do it yourself.
~ ~ ~ Unknown.

In a crisis , give help first and then advice. ~~Aesop.

Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.
~ ~ ~ Sun Tzu.

It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your
mouth and remove all doubt. ~ ~ ~ Bible.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
~ ~ ~ Unknown.

Ok Folks, that's it for tonight. Enjoy the rest of your
weekend and have some fun. Love and best wishes to
you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 449 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 10th May, 2008.
<><><>

Ten Commandments of Success.

Post 448 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 8th May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ ~ I hope all is well with you. I have
had some problems here. Like, I typed a post and was
ready to publish and it disappeared. I tried to retrieve
it but gave up at 2 am. Sooooo-- starting over with what
I can remember. My phone is not working at present
so it has been a lot of fun around here lately. Phone
should be fixed this afternoon. (I hope.) It was.!!

An update on my niece Vicki. The medication she is
on is helping, but she still has far too much pain and
headaches. She is looking better and has lost some of
the weight she gained. We are all hoping and praying
the meds will eventually correct the imbalances in her
body and get rid of the Cushings Syndrome. We all
very much appreciate the thoughts and prayers who
have kept her in mind. Thank you all so much.

I came across an old wall hanging that I have had for
years with "The Ten Commandments of Success " on
it and I will post it for you. Why shouldn't we all be
Successful ??

10 Commandments of Success.

1. Speak to people : There is nothing as nice as a cheerful
greeting. . . . .

2. SMILE : It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile. . .

3. Call people by name : Everyone is pleased when you
remember their name...

4, Be friendly & helpful : and others will respond in like
manner. . . .

5. Speak & act : as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure....

6. Be genuinely- interested in people. . . .

7, Be generous - with praise - cautious with criticism . . .

8. Be considerate -with the feelings of others, it will be
appreciated. . . . .

9. Be thoughtful -- of the opinions of others, there are 3 sides
to any argument, - your side, the other persons and the
right one. . . .

10. Be willing -- to give service, what counts most in life is
what we do for others. . . .
<><><>

My friend Lorraine gave me this one.. Thanks Lorraine.

"The Test for Dementia." Which is scary !!
Below are four questions and a bonus question. You have
to answer them instantly. You can't take your time. Let's
find out how clever you really are . . . . .

First question: You are participating in a race. You over-
take the second person. What position are you in ?

Answer : If you answered that you were first, then you
are absolutely wrong. If you overtake the second person
and you take his place. You are second.


Second Question : If you overtake the last person, then
you are ?

Answer : If you answered that you are second last, then
you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the
LAST person ?


Third Question : Very tricky arithmetic ! This must be
done in your head only Do not use pen and paper or a
calculator.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add
another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total.

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe
it, check it with a calculator.


Fourth Question : Mary's father has four daughters :
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3.Nini, 4. Nono What is the name of
the fifth daughter ?

Did you Answer Nunu? Her name is Mary. Read the
question again.


Okay, now the bonus round :
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a tooth-
brush. By imitating the acton of brushing his teeth he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the
purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a
pair of sunglaasses; How does he indicate what he wants?

He just has to open his mouth and ask . . . .
<><><>

A few jokes from my friend, Barbara. Thanks Barbara.

SERENITY.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband ?" "98," she replied, "Two years older than me."
So you are 96 ?" the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it ?"

Reporter interviewing a 104 year old woman,
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"
She simply said, "No peer pressure."

The best thing about being senile is you can hide your
own Easter eggs,

I've sure gotten old!! I've had two bypass surgeries,
a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer
and diabetes, I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts of dementia, Have poor circulation, hardly
feel my hands and feet any more. Can't remember if
I'm 85 or 92, Have lost all my friends.
But Thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got
my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start
exercising. I decided to take an aerobic class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards
on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
pastor she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be
cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes to be scattered
over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart ?" the preacher exclaimed.
"Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I will be sure my daughters visit
me twice a week."


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be . . .
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff in my shoppind cart says,
"For Fast Relief."

THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.


Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because tou stop laughing.
<><><>

THE NEW BABY.

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs
have a new baby . . .
The nurse brings a lovely healthy, bouncy, but definitely
a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"Well, Mr Wong, what will you and Mrs Wong name the baby ?"

The puzzled father looks at the new baby boy and says,
"Well, two Wongs don't make a white. So I think we will name
him - - - - - Sum Ting Wong."
<><>

A few sayings to conclude with ~ ~ ~

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him to
fish and he'll eat forever. Chinese proverb.

Half the world knows not how the other half lives.
~ ~ ~ George Herbert.

Having two ears and one tongue, we should listen twice
as much as we speak. Turkish.

However long the night, the dawn will break. African Prov.

Health is better than wealth. ~ ~ ~ Unknown.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. ~ ~ ~ American Saying.
<><><>

Well that is enough , so let's hope this will publish.
Take care and enjoy your lives. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 448 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 8th May, 2008.
<><><>

Happy Birthday June.

Post 447 ~ ~ ~ 4th May, 2008.

Just a very quick post tonight to ask you to please
go and visit our blogging friend June as she has
her birthday tomorrow. (Monday, 5th). I hope
you have a wonderful day dear June.

Since I am here, I will post the last of the blonde
jokes, that I found in our paper. btw June is blonde.

She was soooooooo blonde. . .

. . . she studied for a blood test.

. . . she thought she needed a token to get on to
Soul Train.

. . . she sold the car for fuel money.

. . . when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice.

. . . when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said,
"Airport left" she turned around and went home.


She was soooooooo blonde . . .

, , , when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around
the home, she moved.

. . . if she spoke her mind, she'd br speechless.

. . . she thought she could not use her AM radio
in the evening.

. . . she had a tee-shirt that said "TGIF" which she
thought stood for "This goes in front."
<><>

Must get off to bed now, I hope the week has
started well for you, and that it will be a good one
for you. Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 447 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 4th May, 2008.
<><><>

Choices - Again !!

Post 446 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 3rd May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ I hope all is well with you all and that
you are enjoying your weekend. It is quite cold around
here and the heater is working well, but otherwise all is
well. My football team had another win last night, that
makes 3 wins out of 7. So we are improving ~ watch out
Brisbane next weekend

My dear friend Bev aka Mountain Mama commented
that her mother used to tell her that each day, you can
decide to have a positive attitude and have a good day,
or you can choose to be a sour puss and chase all your
friends away. So I am posting a nice article I have put
on before. It follows on to the "Power of Attitude."

CHOICES.

Each morning I wake up and say to myself you have
two choices.

You can choose to be in a good mood or

you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood.


Each time something bad happens,

I can choose to be a victim or

I can choose to learn from it.

I choose to learn from it.


Every time someone comes to me

complaining,

I can choose to accept their complaining or

I can point out the positive side of life.

I choose the positive side of life.


Life is all about choices. When you cut out all
the junk, every situation is a choice.

You can choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood.


The Bottom Line.

It's your choice how you live your life.
<><><>

Now to find some jokes ~ ~ ~ ~ Blonde ones ~

She was sooooooooo Blonde ;
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

...she tried to put M & Ms in alphabetical order.

... she thought Boyz II Men was a day care centre.


She was sooooooo Blonde;

...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

...she thought General Motors was in the Army.

...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.


She was sooooooooo Blonde ;

...she tripped over a cordless phone.

...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can
because it said "concentrate."

... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK"
and DON'T WALK."

...where it said "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
<><>

Graveside Observation.

A newly widowed man stood at the cemetery next to
his wife's casket. When the graveside service had
been terminated, there was a tremendous burst of
thunder, accompanied by a distant lightning bolt.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly
said, "Well, she's there !!!"
<><>

Mrs Brown was fed up with her husband being forever
out of the house and playing golf.
"Why can't you stay home a bit more?" she asked.
"Because it's fun on the golf course," replied her
husband, "And it's good exercise."

"Maybe I should try it, too?" suggested Mrs Brown.
"You probably wouldn't like it," said Mr Brown. "All
that walking might tire you out. Why don't you stay
home with your knitting and the TV?"

But Mrs Brown insisted that her husband took her to
the golf clubnd give her lessons.
The very first day together on the course, her husband's
first shot was appalling, but he told his wife, "There !
That's how you hit the ball. Another two or three
stroke's and that'll be it."

Mrs Brown then took her first ever shot and scored
a hole in one.
Mr Brown was amazed. He was speechless.

The couple walked over to where the ball nestled in the
hole and Mrs Brown said, "That wasn't very good, was it ?
It's going to be very difficult to hit the ball out of this
little hole."
<><>

The vicar asked the young man, "Are you ever troubled
by erotic thoughts about the opposite sex ?"

"No," replied the young man. "I rather like the thoughts.
They are no trouble."
<><>

Every woman worries about her future, until she
acquires a husband, whereas men never worry about
the future until they get a wife.
<><>

The quickest way to find something is to buy a replace-
ment for the thing you lost. Then it will re-appear.
<><>

I was in a restaurant recently and I overheard a man
ask the waiter, "How do you prepare the chicken ?"

The waiter replied, "Well, we sit the chicken down
calmly, give it a sip of whisky and then say to it.
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to die.

Frederick's wife was a surgeon, and so when Frederick
had to go to hospital for an operation, she insisted on
doing the surgery.

She said she didn't want anyone else opening her male.
<><>.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
<><>

First guy says, "My wife's an angel."

Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
<><>

Now a few sayings to close with ~ ~ ~

Faith is the