Monday, November 27, 2006

The Donkey.

Post 78 - - - - - Monday, 27 November 2006.

Hello Everyone ~~ Another week has begun as we get

closer and closer to Christmas. I must get busy and do

my Christmas cards. As I wont be here, I do not have to decorate, just with a wreath and bells on the doors.

I have a small tree with decorations on it that sits on the

table, so may drag that out. I am in awe of all you folks

who go to so much trouble to make it all so festive. Good

on you for doing so. And that Pea never stops baking and

decorating etc etc. Bless you Carole, I wish I had half your energy. Guess I have a few years on you. So that’s my

excuse, and I’m sticking to it !!!

My daughter Kathy decorates with lights etc outside and a

lovely big tree etc. So I will enjoy hers. She usually drives

the kids and me around the area to look at all the other

lights and decoratons.

Tomorrow is shopping day for me, and the list gets longer

each week lately. And the prices get higher – oh well !!

Australia won the first Cricket match against England today.

The test matches go for 5 days and I watched a lot of it.

Now, what to post - - A Poem called “The Donkey” written

by G. K. Chesterton. I learned this one at school ages ago.

When fishes flew and forests walked

And figs grew upon thorn,

Some moment when the moon was blood

Then surely I was born.

With monstrous head and sickening cry

And ears like errant wings,

The devil’s walking parody

On all four footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,

Of ancient, crooked will;

Starve, scourge, deride me; I am dumb,

I keep my secret still.

Fools !! For I also had my hour;

One far fierce hour and sweet;

There was a shout about my ears,

And palms before my feet.

<><><><>

Now sme jokes, first one my son John sent me and I

thought it was a good one. Enjoy !!

We’re getting a divorce.


On December 23rd an old man in Melbourne calls his son in Brisbane and says, " I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about? " , the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father said."We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Perth and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, ' like hell they're getting a divorce," she shouts, " I'll take care of this."

She calls Melbourne immediately, and screams at the father, "YOU ARE NOT GETTING DIVORCED! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, Don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she hangs up.

The father hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. " Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."

<><><><>

At an international medical conference, an American, a Brit, and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses.

“I can’t stand it some times. We treat people for cancer, and then they die of AIDS.”

“I know what you mean.” said the Brit. We treat them for yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then they die.”

“That is not a problem in our country” said the Russian doctor.

“When we treat people for a disease, they die of “THAT” disease.”

<><><><>

Patient to eye doctor : “I’m very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?”

Eye doctor to patient : “Don’t worry you won’t be able to see the difference.” Scary !

<><><><>

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparets.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his

lungs.

“I PRAY FOR A BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO,

I PRAY FOR A NEW V C R…”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother

and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God is not deaf”

To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is.”

<><><><>

When I told my doctor about my loss of memory he made me pay in advance.

<><><><>

I have a long list of elderly comments, will do some tonight - -

Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

Old actors never die, they just drop apart.

Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.

Old architects never die, they just lost their structures.

Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.

Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.

Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.

Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.

Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.

Old doctors never die, they just lose their parience.

Enough, I may put some more on tomorrow.

Keep your eyes on the sun amd you will not see the shadows.

- - - Australian Aborigine saying.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.—Sun Tzu.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone..

- - - Horace (65-8 BC)

Laugh every day; it’s like inner jogging. - - - Unknown.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. - - - Unknown.

Love isn’t love until you give it away. - -John H. MacDonald Jr.

Life is what you make it. - - - Grandma Moses. (1860-1961)

Bye for now people, have a good week and take care, Merle.

Post 78 - - - - - Monday, 27 November 2006.

15 comments:

Cazz said...

Hi Merle,

Glad to see you still plodding along with Blogger. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, Gwen had a few problems I had to sort out for her also this week.

Loved the jokes, fav would have to be the two boys praying ..

And Christmas, the silly season is upon us, and this year its brought the silly weather with it .. cold and windy one day .. hot and calm the next .. from heaters to air-con in a matter of a few days.

Hope you manage to get your shopping done, and I have to agree the prices here in Shepp at the moment are just over the top.

Well have a good day, and keep on blogging

Cazz
xxooxx

HORIZON said...

I agree with you about Pea dear Merle- that lady sure has energy!! l do not know how she does it but certainly wish l lived closer so l could visit for some tea and chocolate-lol.
Anyway glad to hear you're spending your Christmas with family- l am sure you will have a great time. l am starting now to buy a few things in for the kids- Sam is easy but the older two are more difficult. l bought Daniel an electric shaver and Mel has a few books, cd's etc ordered from Amazon. l might just get a hat that says 'bah humbug' for my husband- lol- tempting though.
Keep well and hugs for you Merle. xx

Tammy said...

Hey dear Merle, I've missed my visits to you through the Holiday...I'm like you, a minamalist about the Christmas decor...I love Pea's place though...she put's such love and care into it all!!
Loved all the jokes and Granma Moses said it all for me!!
:-D

annadams95340 said...

Pea makes me look like a sluggard. All those yummy cookies.

Thanks for your latest comments. I'm stealing your divorce joke even though we share several of the same visitors.

JunieRose2005 said...

LOL- My favorite has to be the divorce joke!

june

Tracie said...

great post as usual Merle - take care from tracie

mreddie said...

We decorate some but mostly inside, we have many around here that go all out with the lights and figures and all. Had not read "The donkey" before - what a rider he had!! ec

Gwen said...

Hi Merle..
Great jokes again,loved the poem and I think I'm winning the ant battle?
Enjoy your xmas shopping but dont shop too hard Merle will talk soon!

Meow said...

Hi Merle, glad you are still out playing with Blogger ... hope it isn't giving you too many problems. I haven't been able to change to Beta, it won't let me, seems my blog is too big, or something !! Oh well !!
Enjoy your shopping.
Take care, and don't overdo it ... Meow

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
Hope you get all your xmas shopping done and your not out in that heat too long.Pennant was cancelled today extreme heat rule over 36+c.
the only xmas decoration out sde is a santa on the front door. but I still like a few nice ones inside and the kids love to help with placing them around.
Great jokes the 2 little boys and the divorce gets my vote.
Take Care Keep smiling. Janxxx

Sue said...

Hi Merle,
I wish I had even half Pea's energy!
How does she do it all??
Loved the kids coming home for Christmas joke.
Well I back to my decorating, what a job!!
xoxo

Pamela said...

Merle, I have to breathe into a brown paper bag everytime I look at all the goodies Pea has baked! hehe! Christmas time is such a wonderful time of the year. I am so glad your daughter is close and you get to share with her and her family! Things sure do keep getting more and more expensive!

Loved all the jokes! Your son's joke about the divorce was cute! I also enjoyed all the quotes! :)

UKBob said...

Ha ha - you got a list too have you Merle! Your Christmas must be quite different to ours with it being summer there. Aren't us English kind letting you get a head start in the cricket LOL! Glad you enjoyed it anyway, see you later mate.

carole_57 said...

Lol Merle, sometimes I don't even know where I get the energy!! lol I often wonder why I do so much but it's something I've always done for my boys and it's hard to stop, even though they've moved out!! I love it, though, when they come home to visit and I have it all ready for them, just the way they remember it as children:-) I wish I could have you all over for cookies and chocolates, what fun we'd have!!! Loved your jokes, quotes, etc again today...makes my day when I read everything you have for us:-) Take good care dear friend!! xoxo

PEA said...

That last comment was from me...darn blogger can't decide which name to use for me today! lol