Thursday, November 09, 2006

Let's Get to Work.

Post 62 - - - - Thursday, 9 November 2006.

Hello People ~ I hope the world is treating you right and

all is well. I am fine, so long as I don’t have to bend, as I

have a bad back. It will get better again, I guess. Today

I got a taxi and went to the hospital for blood tests, and

a taxi home. My doctor checks on my diabetes every 3

months. Hopefully, I won’t need tablets, as I am doing OK

on just watching my diet. (With the occasional splurge !!)

Tonight’s story is called “Let’s Get to Work”

Said the little red rooster, “Believe me things are tough !

Seems that worms are scarcer, and I cannot find enough.

What’s become of all those fat ones is a mystery to me ---

There were thousands through that rainy spell, but now where can they be ?”

The old black hen who heard him, did not grumble nor complain;

She’d been through lots of dry spells, she had lived through floods and rain.

So she flew upon the grindstone, and she gave her claws a whet

As she said, “I’ve never seen the time, there were no worms to get.”

She picked a new and un-dug spot, the earth was hard and firm,

The rooster jeered, “New ground ! That’s no place for a worm.”

The old black hen just spread her feet, she dug both fast and free,

I must go to the worms,” she said, “for the worms won’t come to me.

The rooster vainly spent his day, through habit, by the ways

Where fat, round worms had passed in squads, in the rainy days.

When nightfall found him supperless, he growled in accents rough,

“I’m hungry as a fowl can be. Conditions sure are tough !”

He turned to the old black hen and said,”It’s worse with you,

For you’re not only hungry, but you must be tired too.

I rested, while I watched for worms, so I feel fairly perk - - -

But how are you” Without worms too, and after all your work?”

The old black hen hopped on her perch, and dropped her eyes to sleep,

And murmured in a drowsy tone, “Young man, hear this and weep ---

I’m full of worms and happy, for I’ve eaten like a pig - - -

The worms are there --- as always --- but boy, I had to dig !!”

<><><><><>

Golden Saloon.

A guy comes home completely drunk ne night. He is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands.

“At this fantastic new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon, Everything there is golden. Huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works – hell even the urinal is gold !”

The wife still doesn’t believe his story, and next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden

Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband’s story.

“Is this the Golden Saloon ?” she asks the bartender who has

answered the phone. “Yes it is,” he answers.

“Do you have huge golden doors ?” “Sure do.”

“Do you have golden floors?” “Most certainly do.”

“What about golen urinals ?”

There’s a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, “Hey Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that p****d

in your saxophone last night !!”

<><><><><>

Obedient Maid.

Man calls home.

Maid answers phone.

He says, “Can I speak to my wife ?”

She says, “No, she’s upstairs with her boyfriend.”

He’s mad and says, “ OK, Go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go pstairs and kill them both.”

Being the loyal maid, she says, “OK.”

5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, “OK, they’re both dead. What should I do with the bodies ?”

He says, “Throw them in the pool, and I’ll take care of them

when I get home.”

She says, “We don’t have a pool.”

He asks, “Is this 555-8372 ?”

<><><><><>

One night a burgler is trying to break into a house. He’s sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice – “Jesus is watching you !” He jumps, turns around but he doesn’t see anything, so he starts creeping across the lawn again. He hears it again, “Jesus is watching you.” So now the burgler is really looking around and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the

house. He says to the parrot, “Did you say that?” The parrot

answers, “Yes I did.” So the burgler asks, “What’s your name?”

The parrot says, “ Clarence.”

The burgler says, “What kind of stupid idiot would name a parrot “Clarence ?” The parrot laughs and says, “The same

stupid idiot that named the Rottweller ‘Jesus’ “

<><><><><>

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the

second half by our children. - - - Clarence Darrow.

There is so much good in te worst of us, and so much bad in the

best of us, that it hardly becomes any one of us to talk about

the rest of us. - - - Anonymous.

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody – it saves so

much trouble. - - - Rudyard Kipling.

Enough folks, Take care and be happy. Cheers, Merle.

Post 62 - - - - - Thursday, 9 November 2006.

<><><><>

12 comments:

Margaret said...

Hi Merle I swear your jokes get funnier with every new post. Loved the Quotes as well.Hope your tests went well, it does not hurt to have the odd splurge!!
Love Margaret

Karen said...

The jokes were a hoot! Thanks for the laughs. I'm sorry about your back, take it easy and I hope you feel better soon. *BIG HUGS & LOVE*

Peter said...

Hi Merle, I liked the poem "Lets Get To Work" a good moral.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

Funny jokes as always...I think the Golden Saloon was my favorite of all! ;)

Junie

Tammy said...

Well, Miz Merle...I hope you are on the mend real soon...I used to have to go in for blood test every three months too till my doc declared that I no longer had diabetes and there was no use going through all that...I loved the worm story!!
:-D

Nancy said...

I will say an extra prayer for less pain in your back. I love the quotes.

Linda said...

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes Merle. It was so sweet of you to take the time to visit.

PEA said...

Dear Merle...I'm so sorry to hear your back is bothering you, hope it gets better real soon!! My godmother is Diabetic and takes tablets for it...she's terrified of ever having to switch to needles so she's really watching what she eats! Loved the jokes and quotes...the burglar one is just too funny!!! lol You take good care of yourself for us and hope tomorrow brings sunshine in your life:-) Hugs xox

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle

Sorry to hear you have a bad back. They can be most debilitating. Plenty of rest and no bending!

Loved the burglar joke, just watching TV makes us realise that a lot of burglars and bank robbers are really DUMB! They think they won't get caught and I just love hearing about it when they are, lol!!

Take care of yourself and make sure you rest, ok?

Big hugs oxox

UKBob said...

Hi Merle. Sorry to hear your back is playing up, I guess that means you won't be helping me in the garden today then! I hope it gets better soon.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Praying for you and your health...
Take care.

annadams95340 said...

Late again. Hope your back is better by now.

More great jokes.