The Plea.

Post 82 - - - - - Friday, 1 December 2006.

Hi there people ~ well we have come to the end of another

week here in Australia. Those of you in the Northern

Hemisphere have a bit to go yet. It has been a pleasant

day here. A friend came to help me plant some seedlings

and a couple of lovely pelargoniums, that I bought when

she took me out for a shopping trip yesterday. We went

to see the extensions at our local Big W Marketplace.

However they are not finished yet, and will be awhile

the look of the mess, machinery and workmen.

I hope all is going well at your place. Thank you for the

nice comments about the Miracle story that Tammy sent

me. It was quite a lovely story. We just have to believe.

Tonight, we will concentrate on jokes.

But first a quick verse called “A Plea” by Anonymous.

Give me a good digestion, Lord,

And also something to digest.

Give me a healthy body, Lord,

With a sense to keep it at it’s best.

Give me a healthy mind, good Lord,

To keep the good and pure in sight,

Which, seeing sin is not appalled,

But finds a way to set it right.

Give me a mind that is not bored,

That does not whimper, whine or sigh,

Don’t let me worry overmuch

About the sissy thing called “I.”

Give me a sense of humour, Lord,

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some happiness from life

And pass it on to other folk.

<><><><>

I have some jokes tonight that were sent to me by my

good friend Robyn . Enjoy !! Thank you Robyn.

The way children see things - - -

NUDITY – I was driving with my three young children one

warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

ahead stood up and waved. She was stark naked !! As I was

reeling from the shock, I heard my 5 year old son shout from

the back seat, “Mom ! That lady is not wearing a seat belt.”

<><><>

MORE NUDITY – A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found

himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the

room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before ?”

<><><>

HONESTY – My son, Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood

there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a

charming little smile. “We better throw this one out too then, ‘cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”

<><><>

OPINIONS – On the first day of school, a first grader handed

his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of

his parents.”

<><><>

KETCHUP – A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4 year old daughter to answer the phone. “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

<><><>

ELDERLY – While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4 year old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly

intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable

barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The

tooth fairy will never believe this. !!”

<><><>

DRESS-Up – A little girl was watching her parents dress for a

party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.” “And why not, darling ?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”

<><><>

DEATH – While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that made

his collar wilt. Apparently his 5 year old son and his playmates

had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be

performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,

then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, “ Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes.”

<><><>

SCHOOL – A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time, “ she said to her mother.

“I can’t read, I can’ write and they won’t let me talk !!”

<><><>

BIBLE – A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and

looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear ?” With

astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “ I think

it’s Adam’s underwear !!”

<><><><> Some good ones there !!

A few quotes to finish with - - - -

Self-help is the best help - - - Aesop.

Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted. - - -Anon.

Sometimes the remedy is worse than the disease.

- - - Francis Bacon.

Some things are better left unsaid. - - - Anonymous.

Strangers are friends just waiting to happen. - - - Anon.

Stupid is as stupid does. - - - Eric Roth.

The best cure for a short temper is a long walk. - - Anon.

That is enough for this post, Take care my friends and have a

wonderful weekend. Cheers, Merle.

Post 82 - - - - - Friday, 1 December 2006.