Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The English Language.

Post 115 - - - - - Wednesday, 17 th January, 2007.

Hello Everyone
~~ I am late starting this tonight, so will may it a shorter post. I had a visitor this afternoon, a friend I had not seen for awhile and so she and I did lots of catching up with our news. Also I cooked a rolled piece of pork with roast vegies and
lots of other vegies too, so it has been a busy day. Pork is yummy with apple sauce.

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives. I am , so long as the power doesn't go off when it is hot !! Tomorrow is expected to be a respectable 32 C,
but Friday 39 and Saturday another 40. Jeanette lives only an hour or so away from
me but it always seems to be hotter at Yarrawonga. Hi Jan !!

Now to find something to post - - - Reasons why the English Language is hard
to learn.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he got the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the
present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down the sewer.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing a tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
211. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend.

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"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning. "I'm convinced my mind is completely gone."
Her husband looked up frm the newspaper and observed, "You shouldn't be
surprised. You have been giving me a piece of it evry day for twenty years."

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My friend Sandy from Abandoned in Pasadena sent me the next ones awhile back

and all this was on the post that wouln't post a couple of weeks ago. Thanks Sandy.


Lines to make you smile.

1. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute.
2. I work hard because millions on Welfare rely on me.
3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
4. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
5. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
6. Out of my mind - - - Back in five minutes.
7. The gene pool could do with a little chlorine.
8. Consciousness - - That annoying time between naps.
9. Ever stop to think, and then forget to start again.
10. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
11. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
12. Procrastinate. Now.
13. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
14. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere !!
15. He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead.
16. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
17. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times
the memory.
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A primary school teacher asks her prep students which job they would like to do when they grew up. From the front row,Chloe said, "I'd like to be a doctor, so I could
fix the sick people." "Very good. Chloe, " replied the school teacher. " What about
you Rylan?" Rylan stood up straight, "Well miss, I'd like to be an astronaut and
visit the moon and Mars."

"Excellent !" said the teacher. "Would anyone else like to tell us what job they would like to do.
Little Jack stands up at the back of the room. "I'd like to be a lollipop man at the school crossing."
The teacher was aghast. "What" A lollipop man at a school crossing? Why on earth would you want to do that?"

Jack grinned. "From what I can see, most of those lucky buggers don't start work
until they are about 70."

<><><> In Australia people who man school crosings are called lollipop men or women. They wear white coats and hats, with a red band across the chest and
around the hats. Thus lollipop !!
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A wife was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husand a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him? asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multimillionaire."

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A Kansas cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof
off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county.

The wife began to cry. "Don't be scared Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt."
Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared, she responded between sobs. I'm happy
'cause this is the first time we've been out together in 14 years."
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Do you know the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

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Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
- - - Kahlil Gibran.
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Some quotes by Albert Camus. - - - -

Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.

Nobody realizes that some people expend extraordinary energy merely to be normal.

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.

It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

If, after all, men cannot always make history have meaning, they can always act
so that their own lives have one.

In the depths of winter,
I learned that
within me there lay
an invincible summer. All of those by Albert Camus.

Well that is it folks. Take care of each other and yourselves. Cheers, Merle.

Post 115 - - - - - Wednesday, 17 th January, 2007.
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13 comments:

audrey` said...

Hi Merle
How are you, my Friend?

I'm so happy that you had a very fabulous time catching up with your friend today.

Friends are the best gifts from our Lord =)

Take care.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed the part about the English language!



Take care.

Junie

The Ramblin Irishman said...

Hi Merle,
Greetings from frigid Idaho, USA. I always enjoy your posts even when I don't make comments. Loved the wife losing her mind one.

curious servant said...

I need to come here all the time. You always make me smile!

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
I'm crossing my fingers that comment will take. I've had problems with leaving you a comment lately. Loved the English language lines and the one from Sandy. Where is that Sandy lately?
I sent you an email today Merle!
Try to stay cool and we're going to try to stay warm!
hugs!!!

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle...my cable was down for most of the day yesterday so I wasn't able to visit much at all. I so enjoyed reading your last two posts....I'm still laughing at the "wife who says her mind is gone". lol Glad you got to spend some time with a friend you hadn't seen in a while:-) I've just come back from having a tea with my friend June...we try to meet every day for coffee/tea. Take care my friend! Hugs xox

RUTH said...

loved the jokes...re the English Language...at least we can console ourselves that we only one word for THE and we don't have to worry which sex a word is. We are being threatened with 2 degrees on Sunday night...pity we can't swop a few degrees.
Take care
Rx

Jim said...

Again we have the same (about)temperatures. Except yours is "C" and ours is "F" for the 32.
I'm having trouble with Number 211. How can I intimate (verb) if I don't know what it means?
Best joke here was the millionaire who used to be a multimillionaire.
..
Ooops, now I know but I won't be doing much intimating [www.answers.com told me: 1. To make known subtly and indirectly; hint. See synonyms at suggest.
2. To announce; proclaim.]
..

Lee said...

Hi Merle, I hope you're coping with that excessive heat down your way...remember...drink lots of water and don't overdo things...they can wait until it cools down a bit. I hate the heat but it's been pretty good up here where I am, so far, this summer.

Pamela said...

Merle, cute, how the little boy had aspirations of wanting to be a Lollipop man, and for what appeared to be good reasons! lol

So glad you got to enjoy a pleasant visit with your friend. The roasted pork and veggies sounded delicious! Enjoy your day! :)

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
we had a very Humid day here today after a very light shower of rain if you can call it rain.
Thank you for the mention today.Oh!! the english language.
I like words to make you smile ,and the Primary school teacher. Take care Keep that Air Con going,. Love Janxxx

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Those temps sound pretty good to me ringht now! Yesterday on my way to work it was -9F. ~ jb///

Granny said...

The English language is indeed a funny thing and funnier yet when we look at the difference (you explaining lollipop man for example - I figured out crossing guard but wouldn't have known the derivation.

Thanks for the Camus. As you know, that final quote is on all my email.