Friday, January 05, 2007

God Created Children.

Post 105 - - - - - Thursday, 4 th January, 2007.

Hi Everybody ~~ How are we all today? Doing OK I hope. All well here, including my

two grand-dogs !! They seem to be settled in all right, and they know me from visits to

their house over the last few years. It has been quite hot here today, and more ahead

of us and NO rain. I guess it will get here eventually.

Tonight’s first story is from the same old friend, thanks Barbara. Hope you like it.

God created children, and in the process – grandchildren.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, or grandchildren

nieces, nephews or students – here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of ccontrol, you can take comfort in the thought that

even God’s omnipotence did not extend to his own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said was “DON’T” “Don’t what?’ asked Adam.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve, we have foridden fruit !!”

“No way !!” “Yes way.” “Do NOT eat the fruit,” said God. “WHY?”

“Because I am your Father and I said so !!” God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped

creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !!

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked. “Uh huh,” Adam replied.”Then why did you ?”

said the Father. “I don’t know,” said Eve. “She started it !!” said Adam. “Did not !!” “Did not !!”

“DID NOT !!”

Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have

children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

But there is reassurance in the story !!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t

be too hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think to would be

a piece of cake for you ?

Things to think about - - -

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the

next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t

have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children

more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

Advice for the day - - - -

Be nice to your kids, They will choose your nrsing home one day.

And finally - - -

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, Do what it says on the Aspirin bottle :

“Take two Aspirin and keep away from children !!!”

<><><><>

SCENE – It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-

tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

FOX – “what are you working on?”

Rabbit – “My thesis.”

Fox “Hmn… What’s it about?’

Rabbit – “Oh. I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.” (incredulous pause)

Fos – “That’s ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes.”

Rabbit – “Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.”

They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After a few minutes the rabbit returns alone,

goes back to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch

the hard- working rabbit.

Wolf – “What’s that you’re typing?”

Rabbit – I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.” (loud guffaws)

Wolf – You don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you ?”

Rabbit – “No problems. Do you want to see why?”

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few

minutes and goes back to typing.

SCENE – Inside the rabbit’s burrow. In one corner there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner

a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

MORAL – It doesn’t matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn’t matter what you use

for data. What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

<><><><>

School Bully : “If I hit you three times and said I’m sorry twice, what would you say?”

DWEEB : I’d say you owe me an apology.

<><><><>

Dana’s father was trying to teach his son about self-confidence.

“You should avoid using negative words such as “can’t” and “not” advised the father.

“Do you think you can do that, son ?”

“Well, Dad, I can’t see why not.”

<><><><>

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working in the morning and doesn’t stop, until

the teacher calls on you.

<><><><>

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had ben any interest in his paintings on display.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied.

“The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would

appreciate in value after your death.”

“When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed.

“What’s the bad news?” “The guy was your doctor.”

<><><><>

I am battling to keep my eyes open, so will say Goodnight or Good morning. Take care, Merle

Post 105 - - - - - Thursday, 4th January, 2007.

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12 comments:

Susie said...

Loved the Adam and Eve story, as well as the thesis advisor!
Thanks for the laughs today!
hugs!

JunieRose said...

Merle,

My favorite thing was the Adam and Eve story!

All were good!

June

Pamela said...

Merle, I am glad you are enjoying your Granddogs! That's sweet! If God had trouble raising his kids, well then, enough said, and there you go! hehe! Loved the rabbit's thesis advisor too! lol Enjoy your day and try to stay cool. :)

Jim said...

R
r
..
\/
My grandfatherly advice for raising children is in remembrance with their only living once just like we do.
So it (my advice) starts with "if they cry, stop and buy them some ice cream."
That gets all of us back on a happy track.
..

Tammy said...

Now that is a dedicated blogger...battling to keep your eyes open...lol!!
:-D

Puss-in-Boots said...

Love all the kid things and can so relate to them. Wonder where I can find a thesis advisor like the rabbit had...

Funny post, Merle, hope you woke refreshed this morning.

xoxo

Michelle said...

Happy New Year Merle :o)
It must be fun to have the company of the 2 dogs, i wonder if you'll spoil them? :o)

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
Just popped in to say hello.And to Wish you a very healthy and Happy New Year.I still have family and friends here.
Adam and Eve got my vote tonight.
Dont spoil the little dogs,
Take care stay cool.Janxxxx

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

A big welcome to your grand-dogs =)

The passages on children are so enlightening. Kids are kids...

My Mum is coping well. Thank you so much for your care and concern. I appreciate your friendship very much.

Lucy Stern said...

Loved that Adam and Eve story, it gives us all comfort. We are all children of our Heavenly Father and it reminds us that we are not perfect...

Raggedy said...

Great post!
I needed the laughs!
I have missed you.
It is good to read you again.
Enjoy the pups
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

PEA said...

Dearest Merle...I'm glad that you and the granddogs are getting along:-) They certainly are companionship! Loved all your jokes and I laughed hardest when I read the one about being nice to our kids because they'll one day choose our nursing home...my boys are forever teasing me with that! lol Have a wonderful weekend my friend! Much love xoxo