Friday, January 26, 2007

Heart Attack Suggestions.

Post 124 - - - - - Friday, 26th January, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ Again, Happy Australia Day today !!! I hope you are all doing well and looking forward to the weekend. My son John had a holiday today and came to see me so that was nice. I have done some cooking and reading and not much else. I hope to get around to my friends later, so long as the sandman stays away till I do !!

Tonight I am going to post an article my friend Jeanette sent to me. I have seen it
before, but it bears repeating as it has some helpful suggestions.
Thanks Jan.

Heart Attack - - - Some suggestions.

Let's say it is 6.15 pm and you're driving home (alone of course) after an unusually
hard day on the job. You're very tired and frustrated - - - -
You are really stressed and upset.

Suddenly you start experiencing SEVERE PAIN in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw.

You are only five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.
What to do ???

You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who conducted the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
How to survive a Heart Attack when alone. What to do ???

Answer - Do not panic, but start coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough. The cough must be deep and prolonged as when producing sputum from deep inside your chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without any let-up
until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get OXYGEN into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood CIRCULATING. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythym. In this way, heart attack victims can get to hospital.

Tell as many people as possible about this. It could save their lives !!!
Don't ever think that you are not prone to Heart Attack, as your age is less than 25 or
30. Nowadays, due to change in life style , Heart Attack is found among people of
any age groups. Be a friend, and pass this on to as many friends as possible.

Hello - - - - Today - - - -

I wish you a day of ordinary miracles-
A fresh pot of coffee - you didn't have to make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights -- on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in . . .
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection -- little bite-size
pieces that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you;
holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish you a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but an entire life time to forget them.
Now for some jokes - - - -

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her if he could see her licence.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would
get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my licence and then today you expect me to show it to you."

The Compliment.

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your
background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment !!" replied the witness.

The Cannibals.

Recently, a large corporatin hired several cannibals to increase their diversity.
"You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the
welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied
with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's
performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know
what happened to her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads, "No."

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of
you idiots ate the secretary?"

A hand rose hesitantly. "You fool !" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've
been eating managers and no one mentioned anything. But NOOOOooo you had
to go and eat someone who actually does something !!!"

The Good Napkins. This one was sent to me by Sandy .

My mother taught me to read when I was 4 years old (her first mistake)

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed that one of the cabinet doors was ajar.
I read the box in the cabinet and then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me those were for
"special occasions" ( her second mistake) Now fast forward a few months.

It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set
the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork neatly arranged on top.

My mother asked me why I used these, and of course my response sent the other
adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you said they were for special
occasions !!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?

Letter of Recommendation.

While working with Mr. Xxxxxx, I have always found him
working studiouly and sincerely at his table without
gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. Xxxxxx should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to management be
sent away as soon as possible.
Branch Manager.

A second note following the report :

Mr X was preent when I was writing the report mailed to you
today. Kindly read only the alternative lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, ........
for my true assessment of him.

Regards, Branch Manager.

The Will.

A man went to his lawyer and said, " I would like to make a will but don't know
exactly how to go about it."

The lawyer said, " No problem, leave it all to me."

The man looked somewhat upset and said, " Well I knew you were going to take the
biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too !!"

Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.- - - Ethel Watts.

He who is caught in a lie is not believed when he tells the truth, - -Spanish Proverb.

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves- -- Will Durant.

Trying to squash a rumour is like trying to unring a bell. - - Shana Alexander.

I have yet to be bored by someone paying me a compliment.--- Otto van Isch.

Laziness has many disguses. Soon "winter doldrums" will become "spring fever."
- - - - Bern Williams.

Well that is it for tonight folks. Look after yourselves and each other. Merle.

Post 124 - - - - - Friday, 26th January, 2007.


Mountain Mama said...

LOL!!! Your story about the 'special napkins' brought back an embarassing memory!
Guess I better post it on my blog and give someone a laugh just like you gave me.
Happy Australia Day Merle!!

momto3cubs said...

Happy Australia Day, and have a good weekend! How nice of your boy to visit.

That heart attack trick is interesting.


Raggedy said...

I read 122,123 and 124!
Wonderful posts!
I am glad the weather is good for you there.
I hope the new glasses help.
Happy Aussie day my dear friend,
Love, Raggedy
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Lee said...

Great post, Merle. I think that brother of yours and his mate might need a chaperone for the weekend! ;)

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle!! So glad you had such a lovely visit from your son John:-) The Heart Attack suggestions is an excellent article...we always hear what to do when someone is having a heart attack but not what to do to yourself if you're alone and having one! Loved all the jokes and quotes too...always know I'm going to find laughter when I visit you:-) Have a wonderful Australia Day weekend my friend! Hugs xoxo

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle

Yes, I've read that one about the heart attack before. I wonder, though, if we would have time to do that. Some heart seizures are very sudden.

I like the joke about the lawyer and the witness and of course about the "special occasions".

Hope you were able to keep Mr Sandman away!



junierose said...

;) I like the 'special occasion' napkins!


Joy Des Jardins said...

Hi Merle,

Some very good stuff here. Thanks for posting about what to do in a heart attach situation....very good to know.

Glad you had a nice visit with John...I know you love that.

Carolanne said...

I especially loved the Letter of Recommendation! Very clever.
Hope you had a good Australia Day yesterday.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thank you for this post, Merle.

DellaB said...

Some funnies there Merle, thanks...

"I wish you a day of ordinary miracles"

thanks for this too, i hadn't realised you sent me this day, which was yesterday, I had such a beautiful peaceful day, enough so that I actually remarked on how well and happy I felt (that's a bit sad though, isn't it) now I know it came from you, so, thanks again ::smiles::

I found my son one day, in the supermarket, he was very young, and he had opened a box of 'napkins' and discovered they made really good face masks when tied around the head! Very embarassing... mind you, that was in the days when had tails, for attaching; things have changed...

Raggedy said...

Dearest Merle,
I may be a smidge biased because your blog feels like Home to me. You greet me when I arrive with a bit about you and what is going on in your world and that makes me feel welcome and close. Then you share something beautiful that usually touches my heart or makes me think. Sometimes you share a bit of useful advice and I like that as well. We move from there to jokes and at that point I know to set my coffee down and not drink. I admit I once spewed coffee reading something you posted. I have read many jokes so a lot of them are repeats but they are the cream of the crop. It has been so long since I read them that I just laugh all over again. I am a quote collector so I love the end quotes. I usually only use one per post but I love to see your list. Here again you seem to pick out the ones that I most enjoy and I suppose I just don’t get tired of a good quote. Then the little blip at the end to tell me different little things like take care, or see you soon. When I hear you are tired I just want to give you a big hug. Then we come to the close with the Cheers, Merle and that just tops it off. I even talk to the computer and say "Cheers Merle right back atcha!"

I like the blog layout and the rainbow colors you choose to post in.

I don’t think you are lengthy because I never tire of reading you. The time I spend here seems to fly by. The format as I explained above just puts it all together in a nice little package wrapped with a bow.

I hope you don’t feel like you have to do all this for us. If you don’t feel like posting all the wonderful things in one day then you can spread them out. I appreciate what you put in to your posts. Since your question related to length I assume you only meant if the reader would feel like it is to long. I don’t find it long. If you write it babe I will read it.
Words can’t express how much you mean to me and how much I love being here. You brighten and heighten my day dear.
Yours is the blog that feels like Home and I love you.
Take care and cheers!
Love Raggedy

(I hope this was not to lengthy a comment.)

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
pleased to see you use the heart attack. I also sent it 2 my friend in Qld.A nice reply come back saying too late her daughter44 had a heart attach at work and was in the Royal Melb. Hosp.had a stent put in one Artery and 2 more are blocked so doing them in a couple of days.
Now on a lighter note loved your jokes / stories and quotes
Still laughing at the Kotex napkins. Hope you kept inside out of the wind today. Take Care keep smiling (((HUGS)))) Janxxx

Michelle said...

I have seen this email many times Merle, sadly it is false and can do damage to those who do actually try to cough. Above is the link :o)