Monday, January 22, 2007

Now She Is Gone.

Post 120 - - - - - - Monday, 22 nd January, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope the week has started well for you and will be a good one.
All OK here, quite a pleasant day that hasn't been too hot.

I have heard on the news that the fires in Victoria have burnt over a million hectares
and amounts to approximately one fifth of our state. Also that one hundred fire-
fighters from the USA have arrived to help and give ours some rest, for which we are most grateful. We have sent teams over there in the last few years, so it all works out well for all of us.

There must have been huge livestock losses, although a lot of the fires are in inaccessible forest areas and the loss of wldlife must be enormous.

Tomorrow is my shopping day which is great as it is the date that both Woolworths
and Coles are donating all their profits for that day to the relief of farmers in drought
and needy people who have had losses from the fires. Woolies is called Safeway here.

I am going to repeat a post that I put on Heron's Nest while it was up and going.
It is a Reading from my cousin Kath's funeral and was bravely read by her 15 year old
grandson. It is called "Now She is Gone." and may be helpful for others.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow, because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want --smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, " I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.

Young Son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her?"
Dad : "That happens in most countries, son."

Then there was the man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married; and then it was too late."

Myrddin asked his wife, "What do you love most about me; my tremendous athletic
ability or my superior intellect?"

"What I love most about you," responded Aspazia, "is your enormous sense of humor."

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
His mom replies, " The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boy thinks about this and then asks, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on
the beach. The marriage counsellor told him, "If you wish to save your marriage,
you'd better be a little boulder."


A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after
a very short time together. After a brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court
to finalise their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the
point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"

The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to
agree on one thing."

The wife says, "Seven weeks."

A man goes into a store and starts looking around. He sees a washer and dryer but there is no price listed on them. He asks a salesman who says, "Five dollars for both of them."

"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me !" the man says.
"No, that's the price," the salesman says, Do you want to buy them or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them," the man says. He continues to look around and sees a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier and speakers. "How much?" he asks
"Five dollars for the system, including installation." the sales guy says.

"Is it stolen?" he asks the guy increduously.
"No," says the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Sure," the guy says. He looks around some more. As the saleperson is ringing up the purcases, the man asks him, "Why are your prices so cheap?"

The salesman says, "Well, the owner of the store is at my house right now with my wife, and what he's doing to her, - - - I'm doing to his business."
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It seems this old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. He called her
doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he
could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speaking a normal
conversational tone to see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, 20 feet, and so on
until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 ft away --- let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response. So he moves to the other end of the room about 30 ft away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response. So he moves into the
dining room about 20 ft away.

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response. On to the kitchen door, 10 ft away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" STILL no response. So he walks right up behind her
and says, "Honey, what's for supper?"

For the fifth time, CHICKEN !!"
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Some Ways to Intimidate your Professor.

When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name,don't wear it out"
Sit in the front row and color in your text book.
Wear ear muffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
Wear your pyjamas. Pretend not to notice that you have.
Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If he says,"No" rip the pages out of
your text book.
Start a " wave" in the large lecture hall,
Shout, "WOW" after every sentence of the lecture.
Address the professor as "your excellency."
Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply when the professor answers.
Sing your questions.
Wink at your professor every few minutes.
Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters, "CHECK YOUR FLY."
In the middle of a lecture, ask your professor if he believes in ghosts.
Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates the S stands for Stud..

There were a lot of these and some were very funny. Better not give the students
any bad habits !!!

Couple of Quotes by Albert Camus - - - - -

A slave begins by demanding justice and ends by wanting to wear a crown.

When you have seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person,
you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the
faces surrounding him.
In the depth of winter, finally learned
that within me there lay
an invincible summer.

Bye for now folks. Have a wonderful week and take care. Merle.

Post 12o - - - - - Monday, 22 nd January, 2007.
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12 comments:

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
we had very little rain 7mm and Its been very humid over the last couple days, heating up again 36c forecast here tomorrow.
I remember reading the post on Kath with a tear in my eye. it was worthy of another read and bought a tear again today. great jokes and quotes. Have a great day shopping, take your list with you,dont spend too much. love Janxxx

Dixiechick said...

WOW.... y'all still have Woolworths??? I haven't seen one of them in forever....

Love the jokes.... I really needed those today...

Have fun shopping... and here's my list... LOL

Leann said...

thank you for making my day.I always know I can get a little meds for my soul if I come to your blog.Glad to hear that its cooled down there some.and that the fires arent near you at lest I hope they arent.God bless you friend.

Mountain Mama said...

So sorry about the fires and damage they are causing. That is a horrible amount of land to be destroyed! And all the poor animals.
I enjoyed your funnies as I generally do.
When I read that you have a Woolworth's it just sent me on a reminiscing journey to downtown many years ago when we had one too. I still remember the smell of fresh coffee, popcorn, hot dogs and the polish or whatever it was they used on the floors. And I remember the sound of the floors squeaking too.
Ohhhh for the good old days!
Say I was watching the special on the Crocodile Hunter last night and have a question for you. What on earth does 'Crikey' mean??? It isn't in my dictionary so maybe it's an Australian word???

Susie said...

Loved all your jokes, but especially found the reading from your cousin
Kath's funeral to be very meaningful.
Thank you for sharing that!
xoxox

mreddie said...

So sad for your fires but so glad some of our folks are coming down there to help out a bit. Hope you have a good shopping day. ec

Gina said...

My hubby and I went through and laughed at all your jokes. So funny. Thank you for sharing.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Merle, I heard on the BBC tonight that some rain has fallen to relieve a bit of the Victoria drought. I hope it has helped with the fires, too.

Val said...

Beautiful poem, worth remembering.

I loved the joke about the hard of hearing couple. That's starting to be what it's like around here in our house. Either that or I'm just tuning out!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle, it's getting hot here, 26 degrees overnight. It made it so hard to sleep and getting dressed this morning after a shower was not easy!

Thanks for the jokes and the quotes.

Hugs

Hootin'Anni said...

Love the quotes from the grandson. That's beautiful, and so much use can come of those words for the living!!!

RUTH said...

Now She Has Gone was very moving; how brave of someone so young to read it. Enjoyed the jokes as always.
x