Sunday, January 14, 2007

Twelve Golden Marriage Rules.

Post 112 - - - - - Sunday, 14 th January, 2007.

A very Happy Birthday to Our blogging friends, Joy and also Jerry both today
I hope they both had a delightful day
. You may like to pop over and wish them that.

Howdy Folks ~~ Back again and fairly tired, so I don't expect this to be too long.
I hope everything is going well for all of you. John arrived home and collected his little dogs. They were so excited to see him, and I will miss their cheery little faces.

I haven't had any pets for years, because when my Dad and stepmother were alive, I
used to visit them twice a year. And then I have had a few hospital stays, and it is easier not to have them. I will have to get back to talking to myself !! My mother used to say that that was OK, so long as you don't answer yourself. (Have been known to do that .)

I found this little item in The Friendship book - - -

Mrs Riley of Stockton-on-Tees, is a widow now. But she treasure the memory of forty happy years with her husband, and believes that if more wives followed the twelve golden rules which she always kept, fewer marriages might run into difficulties.

When you marry him, love him;
After you marry him, study him'
If he's secretive, trust him;
If he's sad, cheer him;
When he's talkative, listen to him;
When he's quarrelsome, ignore him;
If he's jealous, cure him;
If he cares naught for pleasure, coax him;
If he favours society, accompany him;
When he deserves it, kiss him;
Let him know how well you understand him;
But never let him realise that you manage him.

<><><>

The 4X CD Rom

Caller : "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech. Rep : "Yes it is. How may I help you?"
Caller : "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Rep : "I'm sorry, did you say a cup holder?"
Caller : "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech Rep : "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller : "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional.
It just has 4X on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The
caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-RON drive as a cup holder, and
snapped it off the drive.
According to this story from a Tech Rep from Australia, where they have a beer
called "4X" Or more correctly XXXX

<><><>

Siege.

A royal castle was under siege from an infidel army. The only hope was to send one
of the knights to get help, but the problem was that all the horses had been killed in
the battle.
"We must get help," said the KIng.

"I know," said the leader of his army, but we have no horses. If a knight goes on foot,
he will be slain at once."

"Is there not another animal he can ride?" demanded the king. "What about that
mighty wolfhound? It could surely bear the weight of a man."

"No, no," pleaded the army leader. "The wolfhound is too dangerous. Look at it's
snarling teeth. I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."

<><><>

Scientists report that dieters lost brain cells as well as body weight.
It's a case of think or slim.

The reason why children are so happy now is abvious to me.
They don't have any children of their own to worry about.

Why do they give you a watch when you retire when it's the first time
in your life you really don't care what time it is?

Why do they tell you the temperature at the airpot?
Nobody I know lives at the airport.

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds
from the rich.

I explained the facts of life to my teenagers tonight.
My insulin keeps me alive; my Prozac keeps them alive.

An argument with my husband tends to make me want to clean something.
With his toothbrush !!

Mum to little boy - - -"No, you weren't downloaded. You were born."

As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patient
if they are allergic to anything. If they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the pationt's wrist.

Once when I asked an elderly lady if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat
bananas. Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurse's station demanding, "Who is responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas' ?"
<><><>

There are two insults no human being will endure : that he has no sense of humour
and that he has never known trouble. - - - Sinclair Lewis.

Will power is being able to eat just one salted peanut - - - Pat Elphinstone

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared with
what lies within us. - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To err is human, to blame it on the other guy is more human.- - -Bob Goddard.

That is it folks. Have a happy day and take care. Cheers, Merle.

Post 112 - - - - - Sunday, 14 th Jnuary, 2007.



17 comments:

kenju said...

I like the Sinclair Lewis quote; he is one of my favorite old authors.

Susie said...

Merle,
I loved the Twelve Golden Marriage Rules. We'll be celebrating our 40th this year!
I'm sure you'll miss the grand doggies as they can be good company. Understand though why you can't have one full time..
xoxox

Tonya said...

great post Merle.. I love the Emerson quote!! I am a quote fanatic and that is one of my favourites. Hope you are having a great day!

HORIZON said...

l'll be worried if l answer myself now Merle-lol. Am forever talking to myself when l work.
Great jokes- like the knight and dog one/reversed and the rules for marriage- especially the last.
l can imagine you will miss the dogs.
Keep well dear friend.
Sorry l've not been around for a while- the days seem so short and always so much to do.
bests
xx

Kerri said...

Thanks for all the fun things and serious too Merle. I love catching up with you.
Gosh your weather's been hot! Glad you enjoyed dog sitting :)
Hope this is a wonderful year for you, filled with blessings, much happiness and especially good health.
xox

Tammy said...

Loved it all, as always!!
I'll pop over to your birthday friends now!
Love & Hugs!!

Gwen said...

Hi Merle..
Glad to hear you are well,loved the jokes.
The twelve golden rules very true,
I must have been doing it right we
will celebrate our 50th this year.
Stay Well Dear Merle xx

curious servant said...

Those are GREAT!

"Think or slim" !!!

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~

I want to thank you for the Happy Birthday wishes both on my blog and even here on yours. That is sweet of you!

CD-ROM for a cup holder? That's an expensive cup holder! FUNNY STUFF! ~ jb///

Larae said...

Those are great, thanks for the laughs! Thank you for stopping over with the lovely birthday wishes! =)

Lee said...

Thanks for the smiles and words of wisdom, Merle. :)

I talk to myself all the time...and answer, plus talk to my two cats who answer back...they've very vocal. Always announcing when they come inside, just to let me know they are here. My male cat is my alarm clock in the morning. He vocalises until I get up to let him out. His sister sits on in silence allowing him to do all the talking! I'm sure if anyone walks past as all these conversations are going on, they would think I had visitors! ;)

rhapsody said...

Thanks Merle,

Love the jokes & quotes -

& enjoyed the rules for marriage, too... I took notes:)

Have a wonderful week!

Rose said...

I'm just out blog hopping and I so enjoyed the jokes. I love the marriage one. :)

Peter said...

You seem to be displaying all the symptoms of diabeties Merle, better get some blood tests done, stay well.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Sometimes I do answer myself, Merle. It's the only time I can get an intelligent conversation!

Hugs xoxo

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle Back for my Daily dose of laughter.
I also talk to myself these days and also to the dog. Was a hot one today 41c here hope your keeping cool and getting plenty of rest. ((((HUGS))))Jan

Pamela said...

Merle, loved the twelve golden rules and so true! lol The men in our live always think they are in control! hehe! :) Loved the CD-ROM one too! Cute!