Thursday, February 08, 2007

E - mail Friends.

Post 134 - - - - - - Wednesday, 7 th February, 2007.

Hello Everybody -- How are things at your house today? All OK here, a very warm
day but not too awful. I did some cooking today and made some nice meals.
I am so glad that quite a lot of you enjoyed the story of "The Bell" about the blind
horse. I thought it was a really nice one too, and would like to find more like it.

Tonight I have another item from a newer friend. Thank you Linda.

Dear God, First, my car broke down,
I was very late for work
But I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?

I know you're watching over
And I'm feeling truly blessed.
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what's best !!

I have this circle of E-mail friends,
Some days I "send" and "send"
At other times, I let them be.

I am so blessed to have these friends,
With whom I've grown so close;
So this little poem I dedicate to them.

When I see each name download;
And view the message they've sent;
I know they've thought of me that day,
And "well wishes" were their intent.

So to you, my friend, I would like to say,
Thank you for being a part;
Of all my daily contacts
This comes right from my heart.

God bless you all is my prayer today,
I'm honored to call you "friend";
I pray that you will keep safe,
Until we write again.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't know you left open.
<><><>

This little exercise was sent to me by my friend Jeanette so try it. Thanks Jan.

How smart is your right foot?

This is so funny it will boggle your mind.
And you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can
outsmart your foot. But you can't !!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction !!

I told you so . . . And there is nothing you can do about it.
Make sure you pass this on to your friends . . .
They won't believe it either !!!

Now for some jokes, in case you didn't find that one funny - - -

As the aircraft pushed back from the gate, the Purser attendant gave the passengers
the usual information regarding seat belt etc.

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain
Judith Campbell and crew will take you safely to Perth."

Ed, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain
a woman?

When the flight attendants came by with the drink cart he said, "Did I understand
you right? Is the Captain a woman?"

"Yes," said one of them, "in fact this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Ed, "Then I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what
to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the Cockpit.
It's the Box Office."

<><><>

My brother Peter sent me the next one called "Forrest Gump goes to Heaven."

The day finally arrives when Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. However the gates are closed as Forrest approaches

St. Peter said, "Well Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you though that the place is filling up fast, and we have an entrance exam for everyone. It is a short test, but you have to pass to enter Heaven."

Forrest responds, " It sure is good to be here, St. Peter sir, but nobody told me about
an entrance exam. I hope it isn't too hard. Life was a big enough test."

St. Peter continued, "Yes I know Forrest, but the test is only 3 questions.
First : What two days of the week start with the letter "T ?"

Second : "How many seconds are there in a year?"

Third : What is God's first name ?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees
St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now you have had time to think the questions
over; tell me your answers."

Forrest replies, "Well the first one --what two days in the week begin with the letter
"T" ? Shucks, that would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you have a point and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

Forrest replies, "How many seconds in a year. Now that one is harder, but I thunk
and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there' got to be twelve : January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd . . . . ."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter, "I can see where you are going with this, and I see
your point, though that is not quite what I had in mind . . . . but I will have to give
you credit for that one too. Let's go on to the third and final question. Can you tell
me God's first name?"

"Sure," says Forrest, "it's Andy."

"Andy?' excaimed a frustrated St. Peter. "OK I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name "Andy " as the first ame of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied, "I learnt it from the song,
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM
HIS OWN . . . ."

St Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said, "Run Forrest Run."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord. Give me the ability to understand a clean joke.
To get some humor out of life, And to pass it on to other folk.

Life IS a box of chocolates !!
<><><>

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying :
"God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grandma. ta ta Grandpa."

The father didn't know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying.
The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The
father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still abit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again, "God bless Mommy and Daddy.
Ta ta Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next
morning, Grandma was on the floor dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night.
And sure enough, the boy started to pray : "God bless Mommy. Ta ta Daddy."

The father, now really terrified stayed up all night and went to the doctor early the
next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God, you're home - -we could really use
your help. We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning !!!"
<><> <>

A woman wnet to the pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage, $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the clerk.
The parrot used to live in a whore house and when they got arrested, the police brought me the bird."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters came home from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."
The girls and the woman were
a bit offended, but then began to laugh at the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
<><><>

Please all and you please none. - - - Aesop.

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is ? - - - Frank Scully.

Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done. - - - Al Bernstein.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - - -Mark Twain.

When you are skating on thin ice, you may as well tap-dance. - -Bryce Courtenay.

Bye now folks, sleep beckons. Take care and be happy. Cheers, Merle.
Post 134 - - - - - Wednesday, 7 th February, 2007.
<><><>






10 comments:

mreddie said...

When you said you did some cooking I found myself wondering what - since you have described some yummy dishes in the past. ec

Lee said...

G'day there, Merle! Great to see you as chirpy as ever! Stay cool and take good care. :)

PEA said...

Oh great....I'm ready for bed and now you've got me trying that foot and hand thing! LOL Hello dear Merle...it's so true, one cannot make the right foot circle clockwise while at the same time having the right hand draw a 6!!! Great jokes and quotes as usual:-) Take care dear friend! Hugs xox

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
Hope it's not too hot. We've finally got some much needed rain here.
Loved the Forest Gump joke!
hugs!!

Val said...

That is SO infuriating! Why is my right foot so dumb? Grrr, there must be some explanation...

Puss-in-Boots said...

Merle! Why did you put a conundrum like that right foot/hand thing? It's driving me nuts...aaargh!

DellaB said...

Hi Merle, have had a lovely read thanks - certainly nobody could accuse you of being a 'grouch'

Now lets see this foot/hand thing...
hehehee - you are right, that is really funny...

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle. Im glad it didnt get too hot while you were doing your cooking,
Great post!A lot of good ones here. loved Run Forrest Run.
Im still trying to get my hand and foot working together,I think ill just give in.
Take care, keep cool.Janxxx

Kelli said...

Hi Merle!
I wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting my blog and for the birthday wishes earlier this week!
Kelli

Lee said...

Happy St. Valentine's Day, Merle...it's good to spread the love! :)