Sunday, February 25, 2007

We are in This Together.

Post 150 - - - - - - Sunday, 25 th February, 2007.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the weekend. It is
early Sunday evening here, so my weekend is all but over. Another reasonably cool
day, only about 30 C which is about 85 F, but it was not so humid. I spent quite a
while cooking some meals, Sweet and Sour Chicken and tons of vegies as usual.

I found tonight's article in the Shepparton local paper. It was written by a local pastor,
named George Deeble who has a column called A Quiet Word. I like a lot of his
articles but this one I thought was worth posting. "We are in this together.

A mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain? He was devastated to discover it was a

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning; "There's a mousetrap in the house."

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house."
The pig sympathised, but said, "I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow. She said, " Wow, Mr Mouse I'm sorry for you but it's no skin off my nose.. So the mouse returned to the house, his head down and dejected to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a mousetrap
catching it's prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she
returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well, and she died.

So many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them..

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. Remember; Each of us is a vital thread in another person's tapestry; our lives are woven together for a reason.
The first joke tnight is one I have borrowed from Michelle as I thought it was
so funny. Hope you enjoy. And no offence is meant toward anyone.

Saudi Marriage Counselling.
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding meet with their
Mullah for counselling.
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and
women to dance with women. But at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together." "Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral.
Men and women dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," says the Mullah. "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, Okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course !" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar ! (God is great.)
Sex is OK within marriage, to have children."

"What about different positions?" Ahmed asks.
"Allah Akbar ! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)" says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" asks Ahmed. "Sure," says the Mullah. " Allah Akbar. Go for it !"
"Doggy style ?" "Sure. Allah Akbar !"
"On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes ! Allah Akbar!"

"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil,
a couple ob vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video ?"

"You may indeed. Allah Akbar !"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not !" says the Mullah.
"Why not ?" ask the man.
"Because that could lead to dancing !"

A middle aged man bought a brand new Holden Monaro. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 130 kmph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning)
hair. "This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed.

But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and there was a Police car behind him,
blue lights flashing. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man
and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 kmph to escape
being stopped.

Then he thought, " What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." and
pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up to him.
The policeman pulled in behind the Monaro and walked to the driver's side.

"Sir, my shift ends in five minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a
good reason why you were speeding that I have never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked back at the Policeman and said, " Last week my wife ran off with a
Policeman, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a nice day sir and drive carefully."

Some more of " For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously . . . ."

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the
wrong way.

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

29. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

30. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

31. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

32. Success always occurs in private aand failure in full view.

33. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 th of your life.

34. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

35. Two wrongs are only a beginning.

36. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

37. Get a new car for your spouse -- it'll be a great trade !

38. Plan to be spontaneous -- tomorrow.

39. Always try to be modest and be proud of it.

40. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

41. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

42. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

A Burning Building.
A Brunete, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The fireman yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette
slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

C'mon! Jump! You gotta ump!" say the firemen to the Redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.

"No ! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We are OK with Redheads!"
"OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH!. The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened like a pancake.

Finally the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again the firemen yell, "Jump! You
have to jump." "No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! We won't pull the blanket away."
"Look," says the Blonde, "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not
gonna pull the blanket away ! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down,
and back away from it . . . ."
The Execution.
Once upon a time there lived 3 men, a doctor, a chemist and an engineer. For some
reason all 3 offended the king and were to be executed on the same day.
The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.
The doctor was strapped to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?" The doctor said "Head up." "Blindfold or no bindfold?" "No blindfold."

The executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade-- and stopped
barely an inch above the doctor's neck. The law stated that if an execution didn't
succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Next the chemist was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?" "Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." The executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing. Down came the blade-- and stopped an inch sbove the chemist's neck.
Well as the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time, the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Then the engineer was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?" "Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold."
The executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled
out: "I SEE IT. I see what the problem is."

Truth hurts --- not the searching after; the running from. - - - John Eyberg.

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - - - Ingrid Bergman.

Real elation is when you feel like you could touch a star without standing on
tiptoe. - - - - Doug. Larsen.

Happiness often sneaks through a door you didn't know you left open.
- - - - John Barrymore.

Bye now my friends, look after yourselves and each other. Cheers, Merle.

Post 150 - - - - - Sunday, 25 th February, 2007.


Peter said...

Leaving tomorrow sometime, hope to see you towards the end of March.

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
I missed a post, Great jokes OHHH She was so blonde,and the poor firemen and the blonde Hahaha. nice piece out of the paper too.
take care keep cool love Janxxx

Raggedy said...

G'day Merle,
I am pleased to hear the weather has cooled off a bit for you. The cooking sounds yummy. I finally picked up my corned beef but I have not cooked it yet.
Great Post!
Hugs and Love,

Tammy said...

Merle...I loved the story "We are all in this together" is so true!!

momto3cubs said...

Hi, Merle! Hope you had a nice weekend. The sweet and sour chicken sounds good!

I especially enjoyed the points for those who take life too seriously!

Val said...

My favorite was the excuse given to the policeman, until I got to the one of the engineer about to be executed!

Raggedy said...

Cheers! Blog tag...tee hee
Yes I have a crock pot. Can you tell me what I need to toss in?
Also this cut is wrapped in what looks like a little liquid around it and some whole peppercorns. I don't know if you use or discard the liquid?
Hugs and Love,

Zanne said...

Goes to show... we don't know when we will be picked to be used... it's worth being ready at all times!!!!
Thanks for the anecdotes... as a blonde I should say something about that joke... thanks, it was a laugh!
here's another.
A blind man walks into a bar, over his pint he leans towards the barmaid and asks if she wants to hear a 'blonde' joke.
Before you start, she says, you need to know a few things... I am a blonde as is the woman bouncer on the door and the manageress of this pub is beside you, and she is a blonde too; do you really want to tell this joke?
Nah, replied the blind man, I'd have to explain it three times.
Have a great day