Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Post 167 - - - - - Saturday, 17 th March, 2007.

Hello my friends ~~ A quiet day here, really nice weather which is most enjoyable.
I hope you all have a great weekend and that your weather is pleasant also. Soon we should all be happier with the weather -- with Spring for some and Autumn for the
rest of us. It won't be long before we are complaining again about heat and cold!!
Only in reverse !!

I am watching Carlton and Brisbane playing in the Pre season grand final, and it is a
good game so far, nice and even. So I am doing this at commercial breaks and at the
end of each quarter, of which there are four.

I wish you all a happy St. Patrick's Day, and have a few Irish jokes.

When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they
don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!!


His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said Finnegan.

Billy and Pa were out walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying,
"Tree Fellers wanted." One of them said, "It's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job."

Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road one day. Paddy said, "Murphy can you
see that beautiful wood over there?" Murphy said, " I can't see, there's trees in the way."

Two drunks coming home, stumbled up the country road in the dark. "Faith, Mike,
we've stumbled into a graveyard and here's a stone of a man who lived to the age of 103!!" "Glory be, Patrick, was it anyone we knew?" "No, 'twas someone named
' Miles from Dublin' !!"

Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening towards ten. Now the missus
was never too happy about it. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume, screaming, "Padriac Sean Flaherty, sure and if ya don't give up drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll be takin' ye," Pat undaunted, said:
"And who ARE you?" To that the Missus replied, " I'm the divil ya darned old fool."

To which Flaherty remarked, "Glad to meet you sir, I'm married to your sister."
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A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter who
looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and proceed to Heaven.

A preacher is next in line behind the cabby, and has been watching proceedings with interest, He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St.Peter furrows his brow and says, " Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and that wooden staff." The preacher is astonished and replies,
"But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe.
Surely, I rate higher than a cab driver."

St. Peter responded matter-of-factly, "Here we are interested in results. When you
preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."
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Another oldie but a goodie - - - -

No Nursing Home for Me.
Nope . . . I'm going to live on a Cruise ship year around. The average cost of a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservatins and I can get a long term discount price of $135 per day. Beats a nursing Home.

That leaves $65 a day for - - - -

1. Gratuities which I estimate at only %10 per day.

2. I will have as many meals a day as I want, as long as I can waddle to the restaurant
or I can have room service. The best part is that they're good meals. None of that
cardboard stuff I have seen my old friends eating. Breakfast in bed every day.

3. Cruise ships have as many as 3 or 4 swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, a casino, movies and shows every night.

4. They often have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips

should have all the staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced?
No problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
Room service every day.

9. If you fall in the nrsing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall
and break a hip on the cruse ship they will likely upgrade you to a suite for life.

10. I get to see Alaska, South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia,
New Zealand, Asia, etc etc. Don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore
to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
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Well, my team Carlton beat Brisbane by 25 points, a good win. WooHoo.
Be back tomorrow folks. Until then, enjoy your lives. Happy weekend everyone.
Love and Best Wishes to all. Cheerio, Merle.

Post 167 - - - - Saturday, 17 th March, 2007.
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6 comments:

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed the Irish jokes.

LOL- and that cruise ship thing sounds like a good plan!


Junie

Tammy said...

Happy Saint Patrick's day to you!!
:-D

LZ Blogger said...

I love the cruise ship IDEA for an alternative to a retirement home. Of course you know how I love to travel? Hope you had a fun St. Pattie's Day?! I just finished a corned beef and cabbage dinner that my wife makes for me once a year. Yum Yum Yum! ~ jb///

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Happy Saint Pat's day, Merle!

Margaret said...

Dear Merle glad to hear that you are well again. Loved your Irish jokes and the Cruise ship. Love Margaret

Raggedy said...

Wooooooohooooooooo on the Carlton win! Yay!
Good post!
Huggles