Wednesday, April 04, 2007

How Old is Grandpa ?

UPDATE ON Post 183 - - -4th April, 2007.

I had trouble posting this from Drafts and that is why it was posted for
the date I had put it in Draft. Anyway, I deleted it from there and
copied to Word and reposted, so all is well. Thank you Raggedy
for your message to readers. Do you ever sleep, girl? You always seem
to be right there. My Thanks to you.

The only thing posting from Word and Edit post, I lose the color print.
Again, have a wonderful few days break and a happy time. Merle.

Post 183 - - - - - - Wednesday, 4 th April, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~~ Happy Easter to you all, a little early but I am going
to be away for about a week and may be off the air until 13th April.
I hope all is well with you and that you have a lovely Easter break, and
I am sure the children, of all ages, will enjoy a nice taste of chocolate.

The first item today was sent by my son, Geoff and is called - - -
"How old is Grandpa ? The answer may surprise. Thanks Geoff.

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away
One evening a grandson was talking to
his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the
shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was
born before :
' television
' penicillin
' polio shots
' frozen food
' Xerox
' contact lenses
' Frisbees and
' the pill
There were no:
' credit cards
' laser beams or
' ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
' panty-hose
' air conditioners
' dishwashers
' clothes dryers
' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
' man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man
with a title, "Sir."

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers,
daycare centres, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good
judgement, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong
and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country
was a bigger privilege.


We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.


Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your
cousins.


Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when
the evening breeze started


Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.


We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.


We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's
speeches on our radios.
And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk


The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.


Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.


We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things
for 5 and 10 cents.


Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a
Pepsi were all a nickel.


And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.


You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could
afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.


In my day:
' "grass" was mowed,
' "coke" was a cold drink,
' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
' " chip" meant a piece of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and
' "software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a
lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us
old and confused,” say there is a generation gap...
and how old do you think I am ?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock
Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and
pretty sad at the same time.
Are you ready ?
This man would be only 59 years old.
<><><>

Seven Degrees of Blonde.

FIRST DEGREE : A married couple were asleep when the phone
rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde,) picked
up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know?
That's 22 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said,
"Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman who
wanted to know if the coast was clear."

SECOND DEGREE : Two blondes are walking down the street. One
notices a compact on te sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She
opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks
familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see !" So the first
blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror
and says, "You dummy, it's me !"

THIRD DEGREE : A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms
of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry so she opens her purse
to take out the gun, when she is overcome with grief. She puts the
gun to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, Honey, don't do it !!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next !"

FOURTH DEGREE : A blonde is bragging about her knowledge of
state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me. I know them
all." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy : W ."

FIFTH DEGREE : What did the blonde ask her doctor when he
told her she was pregnant?" "Is it mine ?"

SIXTH DEGREE : Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked
Bambi if she knew what Roe vs Wade was about. Bambi
pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE : Returning home from work, a blonde was
shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The
police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out
on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police
for help, and what do they do ?

They send me a BLIND policeman !!"

Sorry my blonde friends !!!
<><><>

A Selection of Adult Prayers.

Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details, beginning
tomorrow at 11:41.23 am EST.

God, help me to consider people's feelings , even if most of
them are hypersensitive and wrong.

God, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even
though they're not usually my fault.

God, help me to try not to run everything; but is You need some
help, just ask.

Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it exactly
right.

Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my
asking.)

God, help me to take things more seriously, especially parties
and dancing.

God, give me patience, right now.

Lord, help me not to be a perfectionist (did I spell that correctly?)

God, help me to finish everything I sta . . .

God, help me to keep my mind on one th -look-a bird- ing at a time.

God help me to do only what I can and trust You for the rest. But
it would help if You put that in writing.

Lord, keep me open to the ideas of other, wrong they may be.

Lord, help me to be less independent, but let me do it my way.

Lord, help me to follow established procedures today; on second
thoughts, I'll settle for a few minutes.

Lord, help me to slow down andnottorushthroughwhatIdo.

Lord, thanks for helping me not to be a bigot like all those
other people.

Lord, this one you really have to give me credit for: I did
this all by myself.

God, I am happy to report that I did this great work all for You.
I know You could not do it Yourself .

Oh God, I am sure You love me today as I have been so righteous
and studied the Bible for two whole hours and prayed for 3 hours
non-stop and fasted for 24 hours.

O. God please , please let me win this lottery: I promise to pay
you 10 %. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Dear God, help me get revenge on these people because they have
really hurt me. By the way, thank you for forgving me my sins.

Lord, I dedicate my life to you, so long as you do not touch my bank
account and do not mess with my golf schedule, and my choice of
office secretary.

<><><> None of us are like that, are we? <><><>

Bye for now, stay well and happy and I will see you again
soon. Love and best wishes to all. Merle.

Post 183 - - - - Wednesday, 4 th April, 2007.
<><><><>

12 comments:

Granny said...

We didn't have t.v. in our house until I was around 13 so that time line is probably right on target.

Enjoy your holiday and Happy Easter.

JunieRose said...

Merle,

I hope you enjoy your time away!

;) the blonde jokes were very good!

June

"Early Bird" said...

Enjoyed your post as always...and thanks to Raggedy for helping you with it!

Dixiechick said...

Merle, when you have a post that is in "draft" when you get ready to post, just go down to post options, click open, look over to the right and you would be able to change the date.

Hope this helps. Have a safe trip and Happy Easter.

ChrisB said...

I can so relate to the 'how old is grandpa'
Enjoy your week away see you when you get back :)

mreddie said...

Hope you enjoy your trip and holiday. ec

Meow said...

Hope you have a fantastic trip, and a safe and yummy easter, Merle. Take care, Meow

Lee said...

Hahaha! Great post, Merle! :)

You have yourself a wonderful Easter and week away. You will be missed...so until you return, take good care of yourself. Best wishes. :)

Raggedy said...

Enjoy your time away!
Happy Easter!
Thanks for the honorable mention. I only found it because I was behind on my blog reading and trying to catch up..
I was not sure you would be back to fix it so I left the message in your comments...
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy

Val said...

Have a great Easter break and safe and happy trip!

I'll be screaming my head off at the footy on Saturday night.

Connie said...

Dear Merle,
I hope I made it!!! I so wanted to stop by and tell you Happy Easter. Have a wonderful trip and be safe.

Hugs,
Connie

Leann said...

have a great time ove Easter.I been busy so didnt get to stop by till now.I love the picture you shared.
also the jokes.the blonde ones were a hoot.
I have some bloned friends.and Ill use them on them.Hee Hee aint I mean?

well dear have a great time see you when you get back.