Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Modern Child.

Post 239 - - - - Sunday, 24th June, 2007.

Hello My Friends - - I hope you are enjoying or have enjoyed your
weekend. It has been a cold but pleasant day here and I am fine.
I even got some laundry dry, but have it airing. At present, we are
allowed to only water gardens 2 days a week, for 2 hours morning
and at night and lawns not at all.

This all comes to an end on 1st July, when all outside
watering is banned. I save water in the shower, and I have a tank
so will be OK I hope. My main worry is my hanging baskets on my
front porch, as I will not be able to reach them to water them.
John has suggested lengthening the chains to lower them so that
I can reach them. So will probably go that way.

Tonight I have an item called "The Modern Child" which was
written by James F. Morton, Jnr. It is cleverly done.

Born scientifically,
Studied terrifically,
Clothed very carefully,
Dieted sparefully,
Aired systematically,
Bathed most emphatically,
Played with quite drearily,
Punished Spencerially,
Sweet infantility,
Steeped in gentility,
Santa Claus banished,
Mother Goose vanished,
Where are the babies,
The real human babies,
The olden time knew?

Harnessed scholastically,
Drilled super drastically,
Cultured prodigiously,
Lectured religiously,
Classified rigidly,
Reasoned with frigidly,
Loved analytically,
Listened to critically,
Dosed with the "ologies,"
Rushed through the colleges,
Crammed pedag0gically,
Finished most logically,
Where is the childhood,
The fresh happy childhood,
The olden time knew ?

Children successively,
Reared thus aggressively,
Posing eternally,
Wearied infernally,
Planned for initially,
"Formed" artificially,
Will they submit to it?
Never cry "Quit" to it ?
Will not analysis
Stop from paralysis ?
Till our distraction,
Ends with reaction,
Bring back childhood,
The olden times knew.
I found this in the "Philosopher's Scrap Book" which
was printed in 1951. I felt it may refer to IVF births ??

Some more things to ponder - - -

99 per cent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular
it remains.

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I intend to live forever - - so far so good.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane and going the wrong way.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that
you tried.

Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in
full view.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The following fun quotes were sent to me by Sheree.

Sometimes when I look at my children, I say to myself,
"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- - -Lillian Carter, mother of Jimmy Carter.

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the
catalog: "No good in bed, but fine against a wall."
- - - Eleanor Roosevelt.

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman
that I had ever seen. I have since been visited byher
sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- - - Mark Twain.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning
and a good ending; and to have the two as close together
as possible. - - - George Burns.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once
a year. - - - Victor Borge.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of
a misprint. - - - Mark Twain.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- - - Socrates.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- - - - Groucho Marx.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every
now and then she stops to breathe. --Jimmy Durante.

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds
back. - - - Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups : alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- - - Alex Levine.

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people
would stop dying. - - Rodney Dangerfield.

Money can't buy you happiness . . But it does bring you
a more pleasant form of misery. - - -Spike Milligan.

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- - - Joe Namath.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . As you grow
older, it will avoid you. --Winston Churchill.

The cardiologist's diet : If it tastes good, spit it out..

You are as young as your faith, as old as your fear and as
long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer,
courage, grandeur, and power - from the earth, from man
and from the Infinite - so long will you stay Ageless.

Learning is the best of all wealth; it is easy to carry; thieves
cannot steal it, and tyrants cannot seize it; neither fire nor
water can destroy it; and far from decreasing; it increases by giving.

Thank you so much Sheree for the jokes and those quotes.

When her late husband's will was read, a woman learned
that he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman.
Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her
spouse's tombstone.

"Sorry lady," said the stone cutter, "I;e inscribed 'Rest in
Peace' as you ordered and I cannot change it now."

"Very well," she said grimly, "Just add 'Until We Meet
Again.' "

Surprised to see an empty seat at the sports stadium, a
diehard fan remarked to a woman sitting nearby
"It was my husbands" the woman said, "but he died."

"I'm very sorry, " said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised
that another relative, or a friend didn't jump at the chance
to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said, "They all insisted on going to the

Have you heard about the new diet ? You eat whatever
you want whenever you want, and as much as you want.
You don't lose any weight but it's really easy to stick to.

Just a couple of quotes to finish - - -

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably
why so few engage in it. - - Henry Ford.

Don't serve time, make time serve you. -Willie Sutton.

The bud of a rose is just as beautiful as the full bloom.
Appreciate what you have at the moment. - - Anon.

Everyone's travels through life end the same way, so
you might as well enjoy the journey.- -Anonymous.

Bye for now folks, until next time. Have a happy life.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheerio, Merle.

Post 239 - - - - Sunday, 24th June, 2007.


Lee said...

Hi Merle...I always do things back to front and upside down. It's Sunday night and I decided to do my laundry, which had been building up. I've been fooling around doing things on the computer, so my washing, three loads, got done in the meantime. I'll hang it all out tomorrow!

Take care, stay warm.

Gwen said...

Hi Merle.
Loved the modern child and the quotes were great too.
1- Eleanore.Roosevelt.
2-George. that order.
Stay Well Merle xoxo

HORIZON said...

Hiya Merle. You always have such amazing things in your posts- where do you find them?
As always some gave me a good laugh- The Modern Child play on words was even more interesting when l read that it was published in 1951! I think this applies to many children out there, even more today who are growing up too fast- childhood is such an important time of learning and experience.
Glad to hear that you are going to lower the hanging baskets- my neighbour has a contraption - a sort of pulley system and it saves her so much bother.
hugs and bests xx

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
I found that Modern Child amazing for having been printed in 1951. It speaks so strongly about the loss of simple childhood innocence, doesn't it!
Loved all your quotes, esp. Eleanor Roosevelt!
Have a great day!

Lady Di Tn said...

You need to educate me. What kind of gardens do you water in winter? The only time we water is the hot summer. We do have to water container plants quite often due to the heat.
Our water depart provides free rain barrels for anyone that wishes them. Is it the same there?

The 3rd quote made me LOL big time as we have this female relative nicknamed Buffy and it is CONVERSATION H--- when she is around as you feel your free speech has been jailed because it will and has been used againist y'all.

Granny said...

I have a friend from India who calls her blog "diagonally parked in a parallel universe".

I know just how she feels.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed all this today! ;0 especialy liked those 'more things to ponder!'


Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I do not know what is happening to the environment. Today we had our first rain in weeks and we remain almost ten inches below the norm. Droughts are no fun.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle

Loved the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt and as for being diagonally parked in a parallel universe...I can relate to that at's almost as bad as going through life with everything rushing at you.

Hope you can get your hanging baskets lowered for watering.

Take care

Hugs xoxo

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle, Enjoyed the modern child, all the Quotes, I liked the Cardiologist, Zsa Zsa Gabor, but my favorite was.
The bud of a rose is just as beautiful as the full bloom.
Appreciate what you have at the moment. - - Anon.
Take Care, keep well. love Jan.
Yippee!!! Tigers had a win.

EmBee said...

Merle, Greta post as ever, If you have and e@mail address send it to as I have aleast one story and perhaps some jokes that you might like.

Anonymous said...

I am still laughing about the wife at the game...

Please stop by my blog for a special surprise for you in my post.


audrey` said...

Hi Merle
Sheree's quotes are so informative =)