Monday, June 11, 2007

Never Found the Time.

Post 226 - - - - - Monday, 11th June, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you are enjoying a great week with nice
weather and things going well for you. I am going OK, but not
very far or fast !! Spend time sitting at the computer with the
heater on, read the papers etc. Not very energetic this weather.
Tomorrow is my shopping day so will have to brave the elements
and stock up again. The list looks a long one again !!

Thank you to those who commented on the story about Ben and
the very generous Firemen. My friend Gwen sent this to me
and I forgot the link last night, so it's here tonight. Thanks Gwen.

Tonight I have a poem about being too busy, and also what
Hello means, The last sent by my daughter Julie. Thanks!!

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends
They'd laugh at me, I fear.

Time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said
"Your name, I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down . . .
But never found the time."

Have you ever thought what this word stands for ? Read on . . .

Do you know what a simple "hello" can be a sweet one ?

The word H.E.L.L.O. means :

H = How are you ?

E = Everything all right ?

L = Like to hear from you

L = Love to see you soon !

O = Obviously, You are my friend.

It has made me smile every time I say hello now.

So, Hello !! Have a great day !!

Some more Oldie Quotes - - -

People ask me what I would like for my 87th birthday.
I tell them, a paternity suit. -- George Burns.

I don;t feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then
it's time for my nap. - - - Bob Hope.

When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.
- - - George Burns.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts
until my ears meet. - - - Rita Rudner.

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper,
look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there, I carry on
as usual. - - - Patrick Moore.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather,
on his death bed sold me his watch. - -Woody Allen.

At my age, flowers scare me. - - George Burns.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried
three husbands and two of them were only napping.
- - - - Rita Rudner.

An Aussie, a Pom and an Irishman go down to Mexico
one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found
out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none
of them can remember what they have done.

The Aussie is strapped into the Electric chair and is asked
if he has any last words. He says, " I am from the University
of Melbourne School of Theology and I believe in the
almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the
Innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens,
so they figure God must not want this guy to die, so they let
him go.

The Pom is strapped in and gives his last words, " I am from
the University School of Law and I believe in eternal power
of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The
switch is thrown again and nothing happens. They figure that
the law is on this guy's side, so they let him go.

The Irishman is strapped in and says, "Well I'm a boilermaker
and an Electrical Engineer from Dublin, and I'll tell you right
now, you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect
those two wires." God rest his soul.

When the end of the world came, everybody on earth went
to heaven.

God said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for men
that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the
men that were dominated by their women. Also I want all the
women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women
are gone and there were two lines. The line of the men that were
dominated by their women was 1000 miles long, and in the other
line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God became angry and said, " You men should be ashamed of
yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped
by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up.
Learn from him ! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be
the only one in this line ?"

And the man replied, " I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

A man's fix for every problem :--

Don't worry.

It won't happen.

Forget about it.

But we do talk.

That's not what I meant !

I was not looking at that girl in the skimpy red lycra top with blue
and yellow sequins.

Of course I care -- didn't I buy you flowers - once ?
The menfolk are not going to be happy about this one.

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created.

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost
in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to
locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never go out and buy himself a
new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve
to buy one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's,
dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night
to put the garbage out on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never
be able to handle the pain of childbearing.

4. As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember
where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles
on when God found him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone !!

And finally, the number 1 reason why God created Eve . . . .

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,
scratched his head, and said, " I can do better than that."

<><><> The girls will like that one !!

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when
you give of yourself that you truly give. - - Kahlil Gibran.

The significance of a man is not in what he attains, but rather
in what he longs to attain. - - - Kahlil Gibran.

Do all the good that you can,
By all the means you can;
In all ways you can,
In all places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can. - - - John Wesley.

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that
we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved
in spite of ourselves. - - Victor Hugo.

Bye for now my friends, Take care and enjoy all the
wonderful things around us all. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheerio, Merle.

Post 226 - - - - Monday, 11th June, 2007.


Val said...

Finally catching up on my blog reading, have been away for the weekend. Ben the fireman story was very touching.

Have you noticed that we moved up a place on the ladder?

Jeanette said...

Hello Merle,
Good jokes and Quotes.
hehehehe, Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created. Take care

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- Good again, better than usual. Why, because I can relate to a WHOLE BUNCH (ALL)of these.

Thanks for your nice comment today also -- I'm not traveling now except to the doctors and church.
I'm still in that right leg 'immobilizer' and won't be back to normal for a couple of months, if all goes well and my broken kneecap heals without surgery.
It was a nice place to stop on our way east, to Kentucky, Pennslyvania, the airport at Newark, N.J, , and on to Ireland where I got hurt.

Gattina said...

Nice sayings ! some of them really funny ! It sounds so strange to me that you have cold weather and the heating on while we have summer here ! It was the same when it was hot in December for you and we were freezing ! We live on the opposite sides of the world, lol ! But Internet doesn't know that !

RUTH said...

Just popped by to let you know I've nominated you for a Thinking Blogger Award.

Mountain Mama said...

You got me laughing again Merle. I especially like the Irish Electrical Engineer! LOL
Poor guy

Lady Di Tn said...

I found your blog while waiting on Chapter 12 of Lee's story. I can only re read her story a dozen times and then I have to look around for other coffee treats. I could not drink the coffee from laughing so hard at your jokes especially Top Ten Reasons Eve was Created.
Then I started crying while reading Am I a Fireman Yet?
Thanks for entertaining me during my morning coffee.

Gwen said...

Hi Merle.
I have been a bit lazy of late,but
I;m still about.
Loved the 10 reasons Eve was created,and the meaning of "HELLO"
Hope you have been keeping well
and you used "THE FIREMAN"thank you
Talk again soon xoxo

Joy Des Jardins said...

For some reason I've been a little pooped out the past few days too Merle. I've been trying to go to bed a little earlier instead of waiting until my eyes fall out of my head at the computer...sometimes I'm successful...sometimes not.

Hey, stay warm when you go out shopping Merle...don't want you getting sick. Take care sweetie...

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
We're in for lots of heat, and you have the cold! Enjoyed all your jokes but especially the one about being too busy. Many of us need a reminder to slow down a bit!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Love those quotes. One of my favourites and I reckon it would be good on a gravestone. "She lived fast, died young and had a good looking corpse." Unfortunately, I'm too late for that.

Another one is: "When God created man, She was only joking."

Those are from my misspent youth!

Have a good week. Hugs and Love xoxo