Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Who Am I ?

Post 273 - - - - - Tuesday, 31st July, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope the world is treating you right and also
that the weather is too. Not too hot, too cold, or wet, or dry.
It has been overcast here but with a fairly strong wind so I got
my washing nearly dry and once again it joins me in the living
room by the gas heater.

My Home Care Lady came today and we changed the sheets,
and she vacuumed and washed the kitchen and bathroom
floors and cleaned the shower and so all is fresh again for now.

I was most amused by something a cousin told me on the phone
tonight. She said it is supposed to be unlucky if you drop a knife,
if you pick it up. I said what about you drop several, and she said
at one stage she had three or four on the floor. Then decided as
she lives alone, that she had to pick them up. I hadn't heard that
one - must have led a very sheltered life!!

Photos for tonight - - - -

A nice fern on the front porch - a maiden hair of some sort.

Painting of a Rose, by a friend of mine. Nice frame
her Dad made for her.

This is the lovely little fairy arnament I bought recently,
showing the solar panel that is supposed to light them up.

The same thing showing the other side. Haven't had
any warm sun since I got them last week.

The article I have for tonight is a short one -- "Who Am I ?"

Your best friend or greatest enemy. I am your greatest companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden. I will push you
onwards or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your

Half the things you do, you might as well turn over to me and I;ll do
them quickly and correctly. I'm easily managed, but you must be
firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and
after a few lessons, I'll do it automatically. I'm the servant of all
great men and alas, of all the failures as well.

Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I
have made failures. I work with the precision of a scientist and the
passion of a patriot. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin;
it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me
and I will put the world at your feet. But be easy with me and I'll
destroy you.

Who am I? I am Habit. Author Unknown.

Some jokes that my friend, Warren sent me. Thank you !!

A training program for top management.

A well known motivational speaker gathering the crowd's
attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the
arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"

The crowd was shocked.

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother !"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech,
which was well received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the
training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to
rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in
the arms of a woman who was nor my wife !"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the
second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out ". . .and
I can't remember who she was !"

As expected, he got the thrashing of his life time . . . .

Moral of this story : Don't copy if you can't paste.

I have posted ths one before -- but here goes --

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and
thinking, "Surely I can't look that old ?"

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a
new dentist. I noticed his Diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with
the same name who had been in my year at High school some
40 odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret
crush on, way back then ?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray haired man with the deeply lined face was way
too old to have been my class mate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended
Stanmore High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did." he replied.
"What year did you leave ?" I asked.
He answered, :In 1956. Why do you ask ?"
"You were in my class !" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.
Then that ugly, old, wrinkled, bald, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-
bitch asked, "What did you teach ?"
<><><> Good ones Warren. Thanks again.

"Mummy," said little Desmond, at school today the religious
teacher kept going on about
"dust to dust and ashes to ashes.
What did she mean ?"

:I expect she meant that we all come from dust and that in the
end we all return to dust."

That evening, Desmond
came running down the stairs from his
room calling anxiously for his mother.
"What is it ? What is the matter ?"

"Mummy ! Come up quickly and look under my bed, Either
someone has gone or someone is just coming !!"

A verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written on

A woman went into a shop to buy a chicken. The shopkeeper
produced one , but the woman said, "Have you got a larger one?"

'Just a moment," said the shopkeeper and he went into an inner
room and generally plumped up the bird. Actually it was the
only one he had..

"There," he said, How's that ?"
"Much better," the woman replied, : I'll take both !!"

People who cough loudly never go to the doctor -- they
go to the cinema.

My wife had plastic surgery last week-- I cut off her credit card.

My wife takes three hours to eat alphabet soup -- she insists
on eating it alphabetically.

Just a few quotes to finish with - - -

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a
dark night, and a smooth road all thee way to your door.
- - - - Irish Toast.

A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind
as well as for the body. - - -Margaret Fuller.

Happiness consists not in having much, but in being content
with little. - - - Countess of Blessington.

Snow endures for a season, and joy comes with the morning.
- - - Marcus Aurelius.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something
else. - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

We have come to the end of another night. Enjoy your lives
and be kind to one another. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheerio for now, my friends, Merle.

Post 273 - - - - - Tuesday, 31st July, 2007.


Lady Di Tn said...

I am still just looking at pictures and reading only the excerts of your day to day. Glad the "home care lady" got there. Our term here is "cleaning lady'.
One of your pictures on a previous blog stir up a news story in Tn. The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported that in Niota, Tenn., a Tennessee Shire horse may become the tallest horse. Jenson Diplomat Tina measures 20 hands tall. That would make her 1/2 inch taller than the Belgian draft horse in Texas. documentation has been sent to Guinness.
Ha. Not everything is bigger in Texas. Thought you might like that little tidbit.
I hope to have time soon to just read the stories and jokes I miss them.
take care and stay warm
love and prayers

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Did you happen to ask the "My Home Care Lady" if she BLOGGED? Yeah... I didn't think so! I loved the quotes and Warren's (Wazza's) jokes too! ~ jb///

Ava said...

Great post!

Glad that you enjoyed your visit with family!

Love ya!

Vickie said...

I love the picture you friend painted for you but I love the frame the most---that in itself is so unique.

I love things that are unique.

Thanks for the kind words you leave at my place. Once again I have enjoyed my visit here. So much for anyone to enjoy.

T*mmy said...

We cleaned house yesterday, even so far as to steam clean the carpets, nothing as fresh as a clean house is there?
On the knife thing, and old wives tale I've always heard is if someone gives you a knife do not say thank you, you will "cut" the friendship ;)
I so enjoy your pictures of all your little goodies about your house...the fairies are my favorite!

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle
Good Morning =)
Your fern is so lovely!
The dentist joke by Warren is so funny.
Take care.
Have a very blessed day ahead.
(((HUGS))) and much love.

mreddie said...

A clean house somehow just feels better and I do like the smell of laundry dried on the line. I am enjoying your photos. ec

Jim said...

Your pictures are very nice, as usual. I haven't seen any of those solar cell powered figurines yet.
Good jokes too, I think I will tell the "other's arms" joke to my Sunday school class this Sunday, I'll be teaching.
Thank you too for your nice comment, I'm still doing my Blogger's Sins Confessions for another day. I did come up with a MAYBE blogging sin. A few bared their blogging souls.

Susie said...

I've never heard that one about the knives! Love your little fairies and the "Who Am I" so true!!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. I love that fairy figurine you have recently bought. It's just beautiful.

That fern looks like a doodia, but I could be wrong.

Loved Warren's jokes...had a good laugh.

Take care xoxo

Jeanette said...

dear Merle.
love your fairy Solar light will look lovely lit up at night once we get some nice sunshine. Your fern is called a fish tail fern.
this one got my vote tonight."Mummy ! Come up quickly and look under my bed, Either
someone has gone or someone is just coming !!". Take care keep warm and cosy. Im going to have a game of indoor bowls tomorrow. love Jan

Lady Di Tn said...

I left my dtb on a reply to you on my blog. Prince remembers it as ONE DOZEN> Jan 12th.

Took time to read the stories and jokes. Good ones as always.

I have a senior day today. I will take Mimi(my MIL) to get her hair done and then to our grocery store for Senior Day. The first Wed in every month Seniors get a 10 per cent discount on their groceries.

love ya