Monday, August 27, 2007

When a Soldier Comes Home.

Post 297 - - - - - - Monday, 27th August, 2007.

Hello My Friends ~~ I hope everything is going very well for you
and that the weekend was a happy one. All well here and a nice day
23 C so things are looking up in Shepparton. I even pulled a few
weeds today, but cannot do too much of that. A bit at a time.


The two photos tonight were taken by Peter when he was here last
year. They are more cows - - in this case, Jumping over the moon!!!



We sure do have some strange cows in Shepparton !!!

The article tonight came from my friend Jeanette. Thanks Jan.

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard . . . . . .

. . . to listen to his son whine about being bored.

. . . to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.

. . .to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting to work

. . .to be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep

. . . to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.

. . .to control his panic when his wife tells him to drive slower.

. . .to be grateful that he fights for the freedom of speech.

. . .to be compassionate when a businessman is afraid of flying.

. . .to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they are afraid to
send their kids to summer camp.

. . .to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.

. . .to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his cold coffee.

. . .ti remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.

. . .to be civil when people complain about their jobs.

. . .to just walk away when someone says they only get 2 weeks vacation.

. . .to be happy for a friend's new hot tub.

. . .to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby
in the house.

. . .not to punch a wall, when someone says we should pull out immediately.

The one thing harder than being a soldier - - - - is loving one.
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Time for a few jokes - - -

Three Holy Men and a Bear.

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of Northern Michigan University in
Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to
talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into
the woods, find a bear, preach to it and try to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said,
"I went into the woods to find me a bear and when I found him, I began
to read him from the Catechism. Well that bear wanted nothing to do
with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy
water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop
is coming out next week to give him his first communion and
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheel-chair, had one arm
and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone
oratory, he claimed, "Well, brothers, you know that we don't sprinkle!!
I went out and found me a bear, and I began to read from God's holy
word. But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. Si I took hold of him
and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and
down another until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and
baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a
lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked at the rabbi, who was lying in a
hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The rabbi looked
up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the
best way to start."
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Q. Why does it take 100million sperm to fertilise one egg ?
A Because not one will stop and ask directions.
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e mails?
Rename the folder "Instruction Manuals.
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Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a beach talking.

One blonde says to the other; "Which do you think is farther
away . . . . Melbourne or the moon?

The other blonde turns and says, "Hellooooooooooo, can you
see Melbourne from here ?"
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"Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common ?" "It's not unusual !!"
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Great truths that adults have learned - - -

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

Wrinkles don't hurt.

Families are like fudge. . .mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Todays mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not
the toy.

A man goes into a chemist's shop and asks the pharmacist if
he can give him anything for hiccups. The pharmacist
promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What the heck did you do that for?" the man screams.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups any mmore do you ?"

The man says, "No, I don't you IDIOT, but my wife out in
the car does!!"
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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ?
Because 7 ate 9.
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Just a few quotes - - - -

The most powerful position in on your knees.

If everything is coming your way you're in the wrong lane.

Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol.

No matter what you do, there will be critics.

Death is instant. Pain will end, glory is forever.

To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.

Only after the last tree has been cut down,
only after the last river has been poisoned,
only after the last fish has been caught,
only then will we realize that money cannot be eaten.

Knowledge talks, Wisdom listens.

That's it for tonight folks. Have a wonderful week.
Spread some sunshine around. Love and best wishes to
you all. Cheers, Merle.

POst 297 - - - - - Monday, 27th August, 2007.
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16 comments:

FJ.MJ said...

http://fj-mj.blogspot.com/

Gledwood said...

I love that cow jumping over the moon... but where's the dish eloping with the spoon??!?

T*mmy said...

Had quite a few chuckles from your post today!!
:)

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I had to take out my trusty C to F converter to see that 23c is the same as 72f, so it sounds beautiful there today to me... winter must be about over for you folks? ~ jb///

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I loved the picture of the cow, that's awsome.

Isn't the song the green green grass of Texas? I had to ask my husband's from Texans.

Loved the laughes,
Janice~

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Another super post. The soldier story should make all of us not whine.
You jokes were a hoot and I cannot stop chuckling.
Thank you for being you.
love and prayers

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

I'm back from my trip and now ready to get caught up with my blogging friends!! I had tons of cucumbers waiting for me when I got home plus a pail full of yellow beans again so I was busy with that all day but now I'm taking a break for blogging:-)

Thank you SO much for the Inspirational award...it means a lot to me coming from you because you inspire me every day!! I will accept the award with pleasure:-)

I so enjoyed seeing the picture of your grandfather on your Saturday post...also the one of your mom. You look so much like her, Merle!! Beautiful!

Loved reading all the jokes, stories and quotes...you mentioned it was 23c over there...it's the same temp here today:-)

Take care my friend and thank you again for the award!! xoxo

Leann said...

dear merle;thanks for the award.
I would put the logo on my side bar but being a computer drop out I dont know how.but thank you so much for thinking of me.
I enjoyed tonights posts.as always you have good stuff to read.
I was out of town for a few days dog sitting.and so I am way behind again.
have a great week and God bless.
((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
:)

Anonymous said...

Merle,
Loved your blog site.
I am chief of staff at the Shepparton News and would love to do a story on your for our paper about your blogging activities.
What do you think?
You can email me at david.wood@sheppnews.com.au
or phone 5820 3221

Mountain Mama said...

I love the cow jumping over the moon! Now we know how the Milky Way happened to be. LOL
Nice jokes Merle. Blessings

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hey Merle...here's your chance for your 15 minutes of fame...go for it!

What a great idea to have those cows all over the place...no cow pats to worry about either...heheh!

Glad to hear all is well with you, Merle, take care and pace yourself...okay? Hugs xoxo

wazza said...

Gidday Merle,

Thanks for dropping by my blog. You've now seen your brother out in the wilderness during our 2002 around Australia trip.
Yep, I'll be able to find some more videos to post, especially one about the Hoop Snake. Ever heard of this critter??

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

“When a Soldier Comes Home” is a compelling picture of the combat soldier returning home. What is not mentioned is, if he/she is a U.S. soldier, she/he won’t be home very long before being ordered back into combat.

Hootin'Anni said...

ROFL on the Tom Jones syndrome. Too funny.

And I really appreciate the story of a soldier.

I always have a great visit with you dear Merle. Hope all's well with you.

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle,
Gee you've been busy, collecting interesting things for this blog! You have such an eclectic range of items, no wonder you have a large following! I'm going to add you to my blog roll as well...struth, I'm going to need to give up one of my other hobbies in order to read all the blogs I visit these days! I believe you will be having some visitors from the Big Smoke in a couple of weeks; I know you'll enjoy their company - I do!

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

23C is so comfortable =)
Take care, my friend.