Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Flowers and Jokes.

Post 329 ~ ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 2nd October, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ It was a lovely day here today, with some warmth
in the air, which is nice, if we can't get rain. Hope all is well at
your place and things going well for you.

My Carer Lady took me shopping this morning, so all stocked up
again. I am expecting Marcus, my nephew , Peter's son, and his
wife Carolyn and their two youngest boys to arrive at any time.
I thought I would do some of this early and the photos tonight
are all from my garden, except the first one.

This is the lovely bouquet of Freesias that Connie brought me last Thursday.
Many thanks again Connie. They still look lovely.

This is a small geranium surrounded by Johnnie-Jump-Ups, which should
show up better when enlarged. I really like their cute little faces.

I bought this recently and it is a Pimelea, and needs less water than some.

Three dwarf geraniums in a round tub, with remains of my freesias etc.

The first Pelargonium to flower this year, a lovely salmon pink one.

I will post some jokes next - - - -

This one was sent from my friend Vicki who I have known for
very many years. Thanks Vicki.

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh ?" She says, "62 kilos."
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 70 kg.

The nurse asks, "Your height ?" "5ft 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 4"

She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high !" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender !
Now I'm short and fat !!"

Flour and Water.
How come when you mix water and flour together
you get glue ?

Then you add egga and sugar . . . .
and you get cake ?

Where did the glue go ?
Need an answer ?

You know darned well where it went !!

That's what makes the cake
Stick to your BUTT.

Now that you have smiled at least once, it's your turn
to spread silliness and send this to someone you want to
bring a smile to.

We all need a good laugh, keep on smiling.
<><> Good ones Vicki !!

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Melbourne to Sydney, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines
has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take
an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have 3 engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine
has failed and the flight will take an additional 2 hours. But don't
worry . . . We can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later, the captain announced, "One more engine has
failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But
don't worry, we still have one engine left."

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat
and remarked, " If we lose one more engine, we'll be up
here all day !!"
(I don't think so !!)
Q. Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
A. She heard the drinks were on the house.

Q. What do a blonde and a car have in common ?
A. They can both drive you crazy.

Q. What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A. An air mattress.

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable.
They gave her some warm mild to drink, but she refused it.

Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a
bottle of Irish whiskey received as a Christmas gift, she opened it
and poured a generous amount to the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.
Mother drank a little and a little more.
Before they knew it she had drunk the whole glass . . down to the
last drop. The nuns asked, earnestly, "Please give us some
wisdom before you die."

The wise Mother Superior raised herself up in bed with a pious
look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow !!"

Little Johnny was attending his first wedding. After the service,
his Uncle Rodney asks him " So now you have been to your first
wedding, Johnny, can you tell me how many women a man can
marry ?"
"Sixteen," Johnny responded.

His uncle was amazed he had an answer so quickly and asked
"How do you know that ?"

"Easy," little Johnny said. "All you do is add them up like the
preacher said. - - - -4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

And to close tonight some fun questions - - -

If the sky is the limiit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are marbles made out of marble ?

When French people swear do they say Pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the
leftovers from the people who got there first ?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse ?

"Cute as a button." Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Since when are buttons cute ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons ?

Can you get cornered in a round room ?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in
mother-in-law, they come out to Woman Hitler ?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play ?

That is is for tonight folks. My visitors are about an hour
away. Enjoy your lives and the company of family and
friends. Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 329 ~ ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 2nd October, 2007.


Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

What beautiful flowers! Pimelia is a new one for me. Never heard of them, but they are lovely. The pelargonium is one I have never heard of either. Beautiful, and a I love the salmon pink color.

Love the jokes, especially the one with the woman at her yearly physical. And the flour and water one is so true, isn't it? And what cute questions!

It's always a delight to visit with you, Merle.

Have a wonderful Wednesday. I'm hoping for a wonderful Tuesday.

Warm regards,


Lucy Stern said...

So that is way the cake sticks to my butt. Now I need to learn how to make cake without flour and water. Loved your flowers....

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle, It is lovely to visit your blog and have a laugh, then admire the photos. What a stunning pelargonium - I just love these flowers. They are so easy to grow, and there is such a variety of colours. Ken goes crook when I come home with yet another pelargonium or geranium cutting: "We've got too many of those things now!" Not as far as I'm concerned!
I grinned when I read you have been taken shopping by your Carer Lady - that's one of my favourite roles in my job - taking my clients shopping!

smilnsigh said...

Hope you had fun with your visitors.


Lady Di Tn said...

I'm with Renie, I have never heard of those two flowers either. But they are really pretty. I just love johnny jump ups.

Now the blonde with the ladder and the one in the air where hilarious.

Hope you have a gran visit with the family.

love and prayers

Jim said...

Hi Merle, I know you really enjoy the company you have. And you have sooooo many relatives that visit you.

And your flowers are sooooo pretty too. I guess I should take a picture of the flowers we have, there are never very many.

When you can, take a look at
It has a picture of the 4-leaf clover I found in Scotland.

Last night I had a nightmare where I got cornered on a step while I was tying my shoe. That was scarey, just as scary as getting cornered in a round room.
In my dream, I screamed!

Your blonde jokes were like the end of a fireworks show, a lot all at one time.
I hope you can find some more. They are always so funny and every one of them is always new to me.

Lee said...

Lovely flowers and wonderful colours, Merle.

I've just been outside watering...it's so very dry at the moment...there's not a drop of moisture in the air.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Beautiful flowers and good humor: they go together well. Thank you, Merle.

Sandy said...

Hi Merle...It's been a while since I have been here and I still leave with a smile on my face after laughing at your jokes.

Your flowers are all lovely but I especially liked the Pelargonium. It is so pretty with those dark spots here and there.

Enjoy your family and I hope they had a safe trip.

Puss-in-Boots said...

I love freesias, Merle, the scent is beautiful. That's a lovely pelargonium...I don't have that one.

So...now I know why I don't eat cake very often, but obviously it's too late now...lol!

Glad you got your shopping done. I'm hoping to put mine off until Friday, it's a lot quieter then.

Have an enjoyable time with your family. Hugs xoxo

mreddie said...

I'm sure you are enjoying your company by now. I have always enjoyed having folks stay with us. The flowers were beautiful - my garden is about gone except for the zinnias and marigolds. They will be showing me their colors a few more weeks. ec

Melinda said...

Hi Merle,
How lovely the photos of the flowers are. You seem to definately have a bit of a green thump. Hope you enjoy your visitors. I saw Connie last weekend and she told me all about the visit she had with you. She absolutely loved it, you sound like such a sweet, sweet person I hope I get to visit you one day too.

Take Care Melinda.

Gledwood said...

I like the Pimelea a lot (it is the one with the little pink and white floral globes?) I'm so bad at flowers I wouldn't know that from a geranium...

deborah wilson said...


The Pelargonium is the prettiest of the flowers - I love the pink and red. I also bought a new plant for the kitchen, a fittonia/White Brocade. It requires low light, good for the winter. As soon as I get it replanted into a nice pot, and it grows a tad, I will take a picture. Right now, it seems to be thriving on it's new found water supply! It was so dry at the store.

I hope that you are enjoying a nice day with your family..:)

PEA said...

Dearest Merle,

I hope you're having a wonderful time with your guests:-) How I'd love to be able to go visit you one day!! Your flowers are all so beautiful and love the colours...as I showed in my post today, I still have a few flowers blooming here, even a tropical one that is actually handling our cooler temps! lol

Love the jokes your friend Vicki sent you...I've just come back from the doctor's so the first one tickled my funny bone! hehe

Those questions at the end are good ones...really makes you wonder at the answer! lol Take care my friend! xoxo

Anonymous said...

So that is how you get to grow such lovely flowers, you have to give them a "thump" with something green.
Sorry melinda, my warped sense of humor got the better of me, I had this picture of merle out in the garden beating all her plants.

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

The flowers are so beautiful in your garden =)