Saturday, December 08, 2007

Somebody Cares.

Post 378 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 8th December, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ Well our weekend is half over in Australia,
so I hope those who live Down Under have a wonderful
Sunday. And I hope those in the Northern hemisphere who
are about to start their weekend, have a great time, with fun
and relaxation. I have had a quiet day, a short visit from
John and his girlfriend. He trimmed some of the Wisteria
back from the spouting and the clothesline. I am forever
cutting it back, but I think it is winning the battle.

The first item tonight was sent to me by my granddaughter
Bec who lives in Queensland ~ a long way away. Thanks Bec.

You might be best friends one year.

Pretty good friends the next year.

Don't talk that often the next year.

And don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So I just wanted to say, you are special to me
and you have made a difference in my life.

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk
or how close you are.

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them.
And tell new friends you never will.

Remember everyone needs a friend.

Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all.

Just remember this text and take comfort in knowing

Somebody out there cares about you.
<><><>
You can guess how much this means to me, coming from
Bec, who used to live in Shepparton and was so good to me.
<><>

Time for a few jokes ~ ~ ~

First one was sent to me by my friend Embee. Thanks Mike.

In a particular Intensive Care Unit of a large Hospital.
Patients consistently died at around 11.00 a.m every Sunday.

Doctors, Specialists and Staff were puzzled by this and some
of the more superstitious blamed the Supernatural, so they
decided they must investigate.

Consequently, the next Sunday morning just before 11.00, all
the Doctors etc waited nervously to try to see for themselves if
the patient in that Bed was going to die at the dreadful hour
as all the others had similarly passed away. Some even held
4 Leaf Clovers, whilst others clasped Crosses, Prayer Books, and
other Holy Objects, some of the nurses even crossed their legs,

The Clock in the Hall struck 11 and as the last Chime sounded, the
door of the I.C.U. Room slowly opened and little old Pookie
Webster slowly entered the room, he stooped down and unplugged
the Life Support System in order to use the Vacuum Cleaner.
<><><>

Still Having a Bad Day? Another one from Embee. Thanks.

One night a lady came home to see her husband violently shaking
and squirming in the kitchen, almost in a frenzy. There was some
sort of wire going from his waist towards the electrical kettle that
was boiling away.

In an attempt to jolt him away from the deadly Electric Current
that was affecting him, she whacked him with a handy plank of
wood, breaking his arm in 2 places.

Up until that dreadful moment of inflicted pain, he had been
happily listening to his Walkman.
<><>

A man walking along the beach at Portsea was deep in prayer
Suddenly the clouds opened above his head and in a booming
voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to
me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "That's a good idea. Can you build me a bridge
to Tasmania, so that I can driver over and go fishing,

The Lord said, "Hang on a sec, your request is very materialistic,
and not too easy either. Think of the logistics, the supports
required to reach the bottom of Bass Strait; the concrete and steel
it would take. I can do it, but it's pretty hard to justify on any
sensible cost/benefit basis, and I'm not sure that it would really
be a good idea to satisfy such a worldly request. Why don't you
take
a little more time, think about it a bit more and maybe come up
with a wish more worthy of both of us.

The man thought for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been
married and divorced four times. All of my wives said I was uncaring
and insensitive. I wish I could understand women. I want to know
how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the
silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing'
I would really like to be eble to make just one woman truly happy."

After a few minutes, God said, "You want two lanes or four on that
bridge?"
<><><>

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said,
" You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter
Candy."

He turned to the second mother. "Your obsession is with money;
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.

He turns to the third mother. "Your obsession is alcohol. This
manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.

At this point the fourth mother gets up and takes her little boy
by the hand and whispers, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."
<><><>

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the
sales-man, "I would like to buy a pink curtain to fit my
computer screen.

The surprised salesman replies, "But madam,
computers don't have curtains. "

And the blonde said, "Helloooo !! I've got Windows."
<><><>

Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain ?

A. Gifted.
<><>

A blonde had just written off her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
police arrived.

"My God !" the Police officer gasped. "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK,
ma'am ?"
"Yes, Officer, I'm just fine, the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen ?" the officer asked
as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing !" the blonde began, "I was
driving along this road when from out of nowhere, this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right and there was another
tree. Then I swerved to the left and there was another tree ! Then
I swerved to the left and there was . . . ."

"Uh, Ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree
on this road for 30 miles. That was your air-freshener swinging back
and forth."
<><><>

Just a few quotes before I close ~ ~ ~

God helps those who help themselves. ~ ~ Proverb.

Light is the task when many share the toil ~ ~ ~ Homer.

A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes
a woman to make a home. ~ ~ ~ Chinese proverb.

It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.
~ ~ ~ Anatole France.
<><>

Enough for this post, my friends. Take great care of yourselves
and your loved ones. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 378 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 8th December, 2007.
<><><>



13 comments:

Lady Di Tn said...

Ha ha I have heard the bridge joke before but love the Aussie version.
The friendship one was deep and I have often heard you leave a little part of yourself with each person so if you do not keep in contact then soon there will be no ME.
I love to save you for last as you always brighten my day.
Peace be with you dear one.

Patty said...

Dear Merle,
Ha!Ha!, still laughing at the poor man that got his arm broken in two places. I suppose one might think he's getting an electrical shock of some sort.

Sleep well tonight. I won't say keep warm, since it is summer where you're at. It is a little warmer here today, it's 36 degrees F.
Good night,
Patty

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

Happy Birthday to your son Geoff!! He's now the same age I am...I wonder if turning 50 bothers a man as much as it does a woman?! lol

Loved the Somebody Cares...we do indeed always need friends and we should never forget all those who have affected our lives. Oh dear, that blonde swerving to avoid the trees is just too funny...to think it was her air freshener! hehe

I've been so busy lately getting ready for Christmas, not much time for visiting but just know that I'm thinking of you:-) Much love xoxo

Hootin' Anni said...

Merle....hope your weekend, tho nearly over in your part of the world has been a good one for you. I wish I HAD wisteria to trim back...that's soooo pretty!!

And the joke about the obsessions and naming the kids....hilarious!!!

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle, Love the verse that bec sent you theirs a lot of meaning in those words...
Hahaha at the poor bloke with 2 brken arms, and gave quite a giggle at you want 2 lanes or 4. haha the Blondes at it again try to dodge a tree ,,,,,Take care dear Merle Love Jan.

Duxbury Ramblers said...

I was reading some of your old blogs and sat chuckling at the jokes, I will be visiting regular now.

Leann said...

LOL.you crack me up.love the jokes.
have a good week.
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,


:) always love the jokes- and NEED them too!

Take care,


June

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hehe...I like the joke about the little guy unplugging the life support systems to do the vacuuming...I wonder if he was blonde!


I've just been out to chase a plover away that was making such a noise on the front lawn. They're such rowdy birds and they go on and on for no reason that anyone can see. I think they just like the sound of their own voices.

Thanks for the laughs, Merle.

Take care. xoxo

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Seems to be a lot of Wisteria trimming going on with those things? ~ jb///

linda may said...

G'Day Merle,
Meryy christmas, I have still one present to get otherwise all is o.k. I enjoyed this lot of jokes. My son Mike told me to be quiet so he could hear the puter game he was playing. I identify with the hospital cleaner, that is what I do for a living. I often turn off the wrong switch to vaccumm and the bed alarm beeps bringing nursies to investigate or bump a buzzer and set it off by accident.I will copy it and put it up at work, but change the name. Lol.

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,
I hope you're having a wonderful Tuesday. We had a wet weekend and are having a wet Monday. There seems to be no end to the rain for now. Your wisteria must be beautiful.

Ouch on the wife with the handy plank of wood! Lol. Blonde jokes are always funny. Fun and cheer abount at Merle's place!

Take care and God bless!

Renie

audrey` said...

Dear Merle

The article from Bec is so touching.
Jesus is always our very best friend =)