Post 387 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 2nd January, 2008.
Hello Everyone ~ ~ I hope you are all over the celebrations of
the New Year and settling down into a great 2008. Well we
sure hope it will be a good one. Wouldn't it be nice if we could
have peace in this world of ours, but I think that is more in the
line of miracles.
I have enjoyed reading lots of blogs today and found that very
entertaining as it seems everyone had a wonderful Christmas.
Those that didn't, didn't post about it, anyway.
More photos to show you ~ ~
My daughter Kathy, taken by her daughter, Kate.
My son in law examining a socket set Santa brought. Kate took this one too.
Merle, Kristen and Jorja in front very kindly getting down a bit
so she isn't too tall for Granny.
My grandson Nick lost his favorite cow just before Christmas,
but she produced a heifer calf for him, so that eased his loss.
Kathy's very healthy looking hydrangea. A lot of things do not
grow well because of the sea air, but this one is happy.
I found this nice little sentiment, but not sure where I got it from.
I called it Ordinary Miracle.
Today . . . . I wish you a day of
ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green traffic lights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in . . .
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and little bite-size pieces
of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord
is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are
someone special and rare.
I wish you a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
But an entire life-time to forget them.
Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget.
It's a short message to let them know that you'll
never forget them.
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Time to look up some jokes ~ ~ ~
Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads,
40 ish - - - 49
Adventurous - - - Slept with everyone.
Average looking - - - Ugly.
Beautiful - - - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - - - Does a lot of pills.
Emotionally secure - - - On medication
Feminist - - - Fat
Free Spirit - - - Junkie
Fun - - - Annoying
Open- minded - - - Desperate
Outgoing - - - Loud and embarrassing
Passionate - - - Sloppy drunk
Professional - - - Bitch
Voluptuous - - - Very fat
Large frame - - - Hugely fat
Wants Soul Mate - - - Stalker.
WOMEN's ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I'm not upset = of course I am upset, you moron !
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH>
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie = I'd like to have sex with you
10.Can I take you out to dinner = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay.
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Conception Perception.
When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant.
Of course she wanted to know how it happened, so I gave what
I considered an appropriate explanation of the process.
She asked, "Did you do that to get me ?"
I said, "Yes," and she responded, "And you did it again ?"
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Father to son : "Please don't pester me with so many questions.
I've answered about a hundred times already. What do you
think would have happened to me if I had asked my father
so many questions ?"
"Well, Dad," replied the boy, "perhaps you might have learnt
how to answer some of mine."
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A young man had a good win on the football pools and
shortly after he received the cheque he said to his father,
"Look, Dad, you've always been decent to me, here's a pound."
The father took the money, thought for a moment, and then
said, "Well, thanks son. Now do you mind if I give you a little
bit of advice ?"
"of course not Dad," replied the other.
"Well, son," went on the father, "when you are a little older,
and get a girl and think of settling down, don't do what your
mother and I did. You get married properly."
The son was staggered, "But Dad," he said, do you realize what
you've just said ? That makes me a bastard."
"I know," replied the father, and a mean one at that !!"
<><>
Little Johnny: "Mummy, Mummy, Barry just broke a pane
of glass in the green-house."
Mother : "How did he do that ?"
Johnny, : "I threw my cricket bat at him and he ducked.:
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A group of soldiers were standing around talking when the
Sergeant Major appeared and said, " What's going on here?"
"Oh," said one of the men, "I was just telling them about
my drean."
"Go on," said the Sergeant Major, "let's hear about it."
"Well," replied the other, "I dreamt that there was a tall ladder
reaching up into the sky and an angel appeared and giving me
a piece of chalk, told me to make a mark on a different rung
for every sin that I had committed. So, I started off and then,
to my great surprise I saw you coming down for more chalk !!"
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"Hello ! Is that the police station?" "Yes."
"Have any lunatics escaped near here recently?"
"Not that I know of, sir." "Oh !"
"Why do you ask ?"
"Someone's run off with my wife."
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A few quotes to close with - all from Mark Twain.
A lie can travel half-way around the world, while the truth
is putting on its shoes.
A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good
thing than he needs.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is
the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind
of advertising.
When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay
yourself one.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether
it had happened or not.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Time to get off to bed as I am late tonight doing this. Take
good care of yourselves and each other. A smile costs
nothing and could cheer someone. Love and best wishes
to all my dear friends and the odd brother or relative.
Cheers, Merle.
Post 387 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 2nd January, 2008.
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10 comments:
Good morning Merle, nice photos. Sorry about your Grandsons cow. But that's a sweet little calf. You had a lot of funny little jokes this morning to help start off my day. So now I have to rush off and get myself dressed. Hope you have a wonderful day. Mine is just starting, although it's a later than usual start. More later.
Hi Merle,
I do so appreciate your humour. Sorry about the cow as well but the calf is a beautiful little thing. Just wanted to pop in and wish you a Happy New Year and hope you are well and behaving yourself.
Merle ~ Ooh Ooh Ooh ~ I want your SIL's socket set! Looks like Santa was good to you all! Have a GREAT 2008! ~ jb///
Love your pictures....Yes, men do have a one track mind, and you know what I mean.
LOVE the photos and all the funny thoughts and jokes, Merle! You always, always make me smile when I visit. ;-)
I dropped by to see what mischief you were up to, but I also wanted to let you know I gave you a little link love at my blog.
Hope your holidays were filled with lots of blessings!
Smiles,
Michele
Love the pictures of your family Merle....Happy New Year my sweet friend. May you have health, joy, happiness and contentment in 2008....and many wonderful blogging days. You are the best! Love, Joy
Hi Merle -- That is a nice socket set. Does he want to trade it off?
Thank you for the BDay wishes for Mrs. Jim. She doesn't blog but said to tell you thanks.
Mark Twain is one of my favorites.
I won't swear by the Lutein but my sister almost does. So does her doctor. Mine, ???
Cheers,
..
Dearest Merle
The photos are so lovely.
Your family is so blessed =)
Ordinary miracles are so essential in our lives.
We need them through God's grace.
Please take care.
Much love and (((HUGS)))
Dear Merle,
Love all the pictures. Your family is beautiful. You look so lovely and happy with your granddaughters! Sorry about the cow, but that little heifer is so cute.
I love Ordinary Miracles, and will pass that one on! You outdid yourself with the jokes, Merle. And I love the quotes from Mark Twain. One of my favorite authors!
As always, a visit with you, is uplifting and fun. Have a wonderful day.
Warmest regards,
Renie
there is really nothing like a socket set to keep a man occupied for hours on end.
enjoying your many jokes and quotes, Merle!
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