Sunday, March 30, 2008

We All Need A Tree.

Post 429 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 30th March 2008.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you are enjoying the weekend, or in the
case of Australia ~ I hope you have enjoyed the weekend.
While I was away, there was over 2 inches of rain here, great for
the garden etc, BUT it has turned the weather quite cool, very
suddenly. It has been about 2o C which is 68 F so it is quite a
change and much colder at night. I hope you are all getting some
warmer Spring weather and no more snow until next season.

Well I have caught up on the laundry and it's all put away, and
tomorrow I have to cook some meals again.Funny how they
keep disappearing !! Now to find something to post.

My dear friend Barbara sent me this one and I liked it.
It is called "We All Need A Tree." Hope you enjoy. Thank
you Barbara for the nice items you send me.

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and
after he had just finished a rough first day
on the job. A flat
tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and
his ancient one ton truck refused to start. While I drove him
home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked
toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree,
touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door he underwent an amazing transform-
-ation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two
small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and
my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I
had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied, " I know I can't help
having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those
troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children . . .
. . .so I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come
home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning
to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember
hanging up the night before."
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Time for some jokes ~ ~ ~

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says
to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative
state dependent on a machine. If that happens, just pull the
plug."
So his wife gets up and unplugs the TV>
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One from Warren ~~ thank you Warren.

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in and she turned and said, " You've got to make
love to me at this very moment."

His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then
gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg-timer is broken."
<><>

Another from Barbara ~ ~ Thanks Barbara.

An old lady was lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep
her company. So off she went to the pet shop. She searched
and searched. But none of the pets seemed to catch her
interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he
was in , she looked and he winked at her.

He whispered, "I'm so lonely too. Buy me and take me home.
You won't ever be sorry."

The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything
else. So she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the
front seat beside her.

As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to
her, "Kiss me and you won't be sorry."

So, the old lady figured, "What the heck," and kissed the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy,
young, handsome prince.

The prince returned the old lady's kiss.
Suddenly the old lady felt herself transforming from his kiss.

Now can you guess what the old lady turned into?

COME ON GUESS !
v

v

v

v


OOOOOOOOHHHHHH COME ON ~~ DON'T BE A POOP !

She turned into the first Holiday Inn she could find !!!

She's old . . . . NOT DEAD !!!!!! OLd ladies Rock.
<><>

This one was sent by my friend Pearl
. Thank you Pearl.

When Cardboard Men Come in Handy.

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver
eases it over on to the shoulder of the road, carefully steps
out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two card-
board men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the
vehicle. facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.

The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the
disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here ?"
My car broke down, officer," says the blonde calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road ?" he asks.

"Hellllooooooo!!!!! " says the blonde. "These are my
emergency flashers !!"
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A husband and wife go to a counsellor after 15 years of
marriage. The counsellor asks them what the problem is
and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they
have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She
goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, goes around the desk,
embraces the woman and kisses her passionately, rips off
her clothes and makes mad passionate love to her.
Needless to say, the woman shuts up and the sits quietly
with a very satisfied look on her face.

The counsellor turns to the husband and says, "That is
what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you
do that ?"

The husband thinks for a moment and then replies, "Well,
I can get her here Mondays and Wednesdays, but Fridays
I play golf."
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Just a few quotes ~ ~ ~

One leak will sink a ship, and one sin will destroy a soul.
~ ~ ~ John Bunyan.

You can never plan the future by the past.~ Edmund Burke.

I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it
isn't true. ~ ~ ~ Truman Capote.

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
~ ~ ~ Albert Camus.
<><>

Well that is enough for tonight folks, Take care of each
other and yourselves. Keep smiling, and enjoy life.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 429 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 30th March, 2008.
<><><>


11 comments:

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Once again, you have a lot of funnies. So far today, the temp is finally up to 40F at 9:20am. I haven't had any breakfast yet, or taken my medications, so I guess i better get off the computer and go do that. As fast as time goes it will be lunch time before I know it. Although today's Sunday cooking will be a lot lighter than last week's cooking for Easter. Hope you've had a great Sunday and sleep well tonight.

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Another great one and again may I say I selfishly am glad you are back. Your jokes brings smiles and laughter some are rather embrassing gawfu of a horse. LOL and the stories are nectur to our souls. Like taking a morning shower and praying all our bad thoughts and action go down the drain with our worldly dirt. Peace be with you

audrey` said...

Good Morning, Merle =)

It feels good to have completed the necessary housework - cooking and laundry. Yeah!

Yes, Vicki is in my prayers and thoughts. May I know her surgery day?

Facebook is very simple, interactive and fun. We can email and send virtual gifts to our contacts on Facebook. No wonder your grandkids and I love to use Facebook very much =)))

Please take very good care of yourself, Merle.
(((HUGS))) and love to you.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ The rain is the best thing I can imagine for the garden. I loved the quotes here too. Several are funny as well!
Like I told Peter... as for your comment about the words on my blog photos... you and the others are probably right... If I could find a real easy way to do it, I would... truth is... I am just TOO DARN LAZY! ~ jb///

megz_mum said...

Hi Merle, thank goodness for the rain, and the cooler weather! We are also a little cooler now. Thanks for the jokes!

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Our weather has turned cold too, and we are exspect a sprinkle or two.

I liked your joke about the new pet. It reminded me of a turtle that kept winking at my daughter, it made her nervous. She told me later, "that flirty turtle would have been a good pet for a lonely person."

Janice~

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

"We All Need A Tree" is a nice concept.

Funny about the egg-timer being broken. Even funnier about the old lady turning into the first Holiday Inn she could find. Hehe. And the blond had some emergency flashers. Hahaha.

I enjoyed reading this post as usual. We are still getting lots of rain, so March is going out like a lion around here. Hope your weather warms up a bit, and you have a wonderful day, dear friend.

Love and Blessings,

Renie

Dave said...

Glad you're home safe and sound Merle... *S*

Great posts today.

Susie said...

Dear Merle,
So glad you're back home safe and sound. Hope it was a wonderful Easter weekend for you. It sounds like you're getting a bit of colder weather just as we're warming up for our spring.
Love the story of the Trouble Tree. Sounds like a great idea.
Take care my dear friend..
xoxo

mreddie said...

Glad you got some rain, we are supposed to get some for the next several days - hope it comes to pass. I enjoyed the one where she unplugged the machine. :) ec

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

I've heard the one about the trouble tree - it would be nice if we could all train ourselves to do exactly that - hang up our troubles before we enter the house.

You're cooling down - and we are still cool! The bees are about, just waiting for the butterflies!

About the flashers -
Around Atlanta, nobody stops for anybody - flashers sound like a plan! (Just kidding lol)