Friday, April 11, 2008

Beautiful Babies.

Post 435 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 11th April, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ How is the world treating you today?
I hope everything is going well for you as we head towards
another weekend. How these weeks go by so fast. All well
here after another pleasant day. I have been catching up
on some blog reading and commenting.

Tonight's item was left for me by my friend Linda C.
Thank you Linda. The pictures are beautiful and so
are the words. It is called "Beautiful Babies."

If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished.

If I want my dreams to come true, I must not oversleep.

Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friend . . . . is B 1. Be one.

The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.

The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.

One thing I can give and still keep . . .is my word.

One thing I cannot recycle is wasted time.

Ideas won't work unless "I" do.

My mind is like a parachute . .it functions only when open.

The 10 Commandments are not a multiple choice.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime !

It is never too late to become what I might have been.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go,
you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy
with our own lives and problems that we may not even
notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are
so caught up in who is right and who is wrong that we
forget what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes we just
don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.
I don't want to let that happen so I'm gonna tie you to my
heart so I never lose you.

First joke is called "Birthing Spa."

My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking
out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The
birthing room had a hot tub, soft music and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said.

He looked around and said, "Isn't this how we got here
in the first place ?"

One from Lady Di. Many thanks Dianne.
It is called RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - a child's

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how
they spent their holiday away from school. One child
wrote the following :

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma
and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house in
Wisconsin, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved
to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks
painted green to look like grass.

They ride around on their bicycles and wear name-tags
because they don't knpw who they are anymore. They go
to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got
it fixed because it is all OK now. They do exercises there,
but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool
too, but they all jump up and down with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting
in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes
they sneak out and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same
thing every night . . . early birds. Some of the people can't get
past the man in the doll house. The ones who do bring back
food to the wreck center for pot luck .

My Grandma says my Grandpa worked all his life to earn his
retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded
someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the
man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so that they
can visit their grandchildren.

Work Visit.

One day a mother took her 6 year old son with her to visit a
friend at work. Everyone there knew her, and she was offered
a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees went to
make more coffee, her son followed her and asked, "What
are you doing?"

"I'm making your mom's favorite drink." she answered.
Imagine the woman's shock when she heard her son say,
"WOW. You know how to make beer ?"

One from my friend Margaret. Thanks, Margaret.
A must read for Golfers.

Interesting Observation.

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is . . BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is - FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is -- BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is - - TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate Executives and officers
is GOLF>

The amazing conclusion :
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller
your balls become.

Top Ten Signs you've hired the wrong guy to mow your lawns.

10. He shows up with apair of scissors and a Ziploc bag.

9. On the side of the mower, you notice stencilled silhouettes
of 13 cats.

8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass- catcher.

7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades
with his head.

6. You notice he is shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher.

5. He's fascinated with the details of your security system.

4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings.

3. Somehow manages to mow the hood off your Lexus.

2. Turns a goat loose and says he will be back in three weeks.

1. No toes.

Two widows, Martha and Edna are talking.

Martha : "That nice George Johnson asked me for a date.
I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to
talk to you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna : "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment
punctually at 7 pm. And dressed like such a gentleman in
a fine suit. And he bringa me such beautiful flowers. Then
he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a beautiful car
a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes
me out for dinner
. . .
marvellous dinner. . lobster. Then we
go to a show . .let me tell you Martha, I enjoyed it so much I
could have just died from pleasure. So then we are coming
back to my apartment and he turns into an animal.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and
has his way with me twice."

Martha : "Goodness gracious ! So are you telling me I should
not go out with him ?"

Edna : "Heavens no ! I'm just saying, wear an old dress !!"

A guy sees a sign in front of a house ~ "Talking Dof for Sale"
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back
yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a black mutt
just sitting there.

"You talk ?" he asks.
"Sure do," the dog replies.
"So, what's your story ?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, i discovered my gift for
talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government,
so I told ASIA about my gift and in no time they had me
jetting from country to coutry, sitting in rooms with spies
and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for
eight years running.

The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed
up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security
work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and
was awarded a bunch of medals. Had a wife, a load of puppies,
and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what
he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten Bucks."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap ?"
"Cause he's a b****y liar. He didn't do any of that."

A few sayings to finish with ~ ~ ~ ~

A big tree attracts the gale. ~ Chinese (on pride)

A blind person who sees is better than a seeing
person who is blind. Iranian (on wisdom.)

A body makes its own luck, good or bad. Anonymous.

A chain is no stronger than the weakest link.
~~~ Sir Leslie Stephen.

A clever person turns great problems into little ones and
little ones into none at all.- Chinese (on attitude.)

A crust in comfort is better than a feast in fear. ~~ Aesop.

Bye for now folks, I hope you found something of interest
or a smile at least. Look after yourselves and each other.
Enjoy your lives and have a good weekend.
Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 435 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 11th April, 2008.


Mountain Mama said...

Hello Merle and thank's so much for the cute award. It's very thoughtful of 'ewe'. LOL I will post it on my blog.

All's well in this part of the world as far as I know. I haven't listened to the news reports yet and I may not. This way I am sure to have a pretty good day!

I'm waiting sor the sun to come out and dry the dew so I can mow the lawn. Aa nice fresh cup of coffee and computer time is a good way to begin my day. I had a lot of catching up to do because I didn't have time for my computer yesterday. I had my great granddaughter Julia all day. What a treasure she is.

I loved seeing those beautiful babies. I cou;d add a few from my own family too. ((smile))

You know the words of wisdom is something I should read weekly just for the reminders, especially the one about holding a grudge. Lord help me with that one!

I sure got a good laugh about the one about ball sizes. I sent it to my forever friend. I know she will laugh her head off over it too!

Thanks for sharing so much fun.

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Just a quick note. Our daughter is doing great. The fibroids were larger than the doctor thought. But everything is out and she's doing great. This is the first time she's ever had surgery other than her wisdom teeth removed. Hope your niece is receiving some good news. Have a great week-end.

Lady Di Tn said...

Again thanks for sharing my emails from little brother. I may not hear from him other than those emails but I know I crossed his mind when he typed me in. I really do not know which joke was the best. They were all toooo funny. If I had to choose it would be the higher you go the smaller your balls are. LOL
Babies are always so cute. They are little Heavenly treasures which are so very innocent. I have a habit of looking at people and wandering how sweet and innocent they were when babies. Did they really wish to grow up to be -------.
I love the saying about the ten commandments. They are not mulitple choice nor is this life a dress rehearsal.
Live, Enjoy and Pray.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

The babies are so cute =)))

Jim said...

Those are cute babies. It was cheery just seeing them here.

Your beer favorite drink story reminded me of my granddaughter.
At school one day, she told her teacher that her Daddy goes for rides on his motor cycle and her Mom takes the burban.

The teacher did investigate some and found out the mom took the Suburban.

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

What sweet and beautiful little babies to make us smile right off. And I love the wise sayings. The retarded grandparents is a very cute story. Martha and Edna were funny. Well, all the jokes are good, and get me into a good frame of mind for the day, since it is early morning here. Thank you for the fun and wise quotes to ponder. I hope you pleasant weather continues, and that you have a wonderful weekend, dear friend. My younger son is here, and I am enjoying his visit.

Love and Blessings,


Sue "Sioux" Seibert said...

Hi, Merle, looks like all is well with you. Sorry I have taken such a long step back from blogging, but it's really good to renew old friendships!

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
Congratulations on your awards and thanks for passing one to me! You're too kind :)
Love the beautiful baby pics and also the "retired grandparents!" Too too funny :)
love and ((hugs))

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I loved the baby pictures so sweet, and the observation of the balls gave me a chuckle. The story of the retarded grandparents reminded me of my step-father he said he and my mom were--retarded.

Take care and have a nice weekend.