Everyone Needs Someone.

Post 441 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 23rd April, 2008.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope all is well at your place and the
week has been going well for you. I am fine, and had some
visitors today which was nice. In fact, one of my friends
did a job for another of my friends, who had a burst water
pipe under her house. A plumber fixed it but had to dig and
go under her house. So Mike filled in the two holes they dug
and Lorraine was very happy with that.

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A joke from my friend Warren. Thanks Mate.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his
flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus is watching you,"

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a
bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation
after the next big score, then clicked the light on and
began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect
the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching
you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner
of the room. his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, the n squawked,
"I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed.
"Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people
would name a bird, Moses ?"
"The kind that would name a Rotteweiller Jesus."
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My friend Gina sent me the next one. Thanks Gina.

A typical Day from my dog''s diary.!

8 .00am - Dog food. My favorite thing. !
9.30 am - A car ride ! My favorite thing !
9.40 am -A walk in the park ! My favorite thing!
!10.30 am - Got rubbed and petted ! My favorite thing.!
12.00 pm - Lunch ! My fsvorite thing !
1.00 pm - Played in the yard ! My favorite thing !
3.00 pm - Wagged my tail ! My favorite thing!
5.00 pm - Milk bones ! My favorite thing.
7.00 pm - Got to play ball ! My favorite thing !
8.oo pm - Wow ! Watched TV with the people ! My
favorite thing !
11.00 pm Sleeping on the bed - My fasvorite thing!
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A typical Day from my Cat's Diary.

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects They dine on fresh meat, while the other inmates
and I am are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear. I, never-
the less must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once sgsin vomited on the
carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However,they merely made condescending comments about
what a good little hunter I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power, of
allergies . I must try to learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage,
Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he
was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top
of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives privileges He is regularly
released - - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously an imbecile.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the Guards regularly I am certain he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody fir him in an elevated cell.
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It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked
her what she wanted as a present.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, "Just give me something
with diamonds."
"So I bought her a pack of cards."
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Well I am afraid I can't do any more tonight. So i'm off
to bed. Take care, Love and Besr Wishes to you all.
Cheer, Merle.

Post 441 - - - - - Wednesday, 23rd 2008.
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