Monday, May 12, 2008

One Last Mother's Day One.

Post 450 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 12th May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ This will not be a long post as I have
to go shopping tomorrow so need to go to bed earlier than
I usually do. I hope all is well with you all as we begin a new
week. We have had some beautiful weather here lately
with a temperature around 18 - 20 C which is mid 60 s F
which is not too hard to take.

My dear friend Ann (aka Granny) sent me this article about
Mother's Day, that we know is now over, but I liked it.
Thank you so much Ann for going to the trouble to send it.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick
toddlers in their arms, wiping up the puke laced with Oscar
Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's Okay,
honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing
crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up
in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in
their purss.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and
sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never
see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them
homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are
hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal
bleachers at football, hockey or soccer games instead of
watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when
their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say,
"Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and
mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the
grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp
their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for
all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how
child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children
and explained all about making babies. And for all the
(grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the
words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children
can eat.

Happy Mother's Day.
<><><>

Now a few jokes just to keep us all smiling ~ ~ ~
First one if from my friend Gina Thank you Gina.

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who
was better on the computer. They had been going at it for
days, and
feankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT, I've had enough. I am
going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those
results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e mailed.
They e mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spread-sheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was
faster than Hell.
Then ten minutes before their time is up, lightning
suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain
poured , and of course the power went off. . . .

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them
restarted their computers. Satan started searching
frantically , screaming :
"It's gone, it's all GONE. I lost everything when the
power went out."

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his
files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait," he screamed. "That's not fair. He cheated. How
come he has all his work from the last two hours of work.
and I don't have any.

God just shrugged and said : "JESUS SAVES."
<><>
One from my friend Lady Di Thank you Dianne.

I'M FINE.
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the
trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine ?"
asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you
what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule,
Bessie, into the. . ." "Just answer the question? Did you
not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm Fine' ?"

Clyde said,"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I
was driving down the road. . . ."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am
trying to establish the fact that at the scene accident this
man told the Highway Control-man on the scene that he was
just fine. He is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer
and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say
about his favorite mule, Bessie."

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was
saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule into the
trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge
semi-truck and trailer ran the
stop sign and smacked my truck
right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was
thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want
to move. However I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning.

I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly
after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over
to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot
her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the
road, gun in hand, looked at me and said,"How are you feeling?

Now what the hell would you say ?"
<><><>

An elderly man stumbled across a talking frog, who proceeded
to tell him, :Sir, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess and we can be married and live happily ever after."

The man was amazed and picked up the frog, asking 'Was that
really you talking. The frog repeated, "Yes sir, if you kiss me,
I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can be married and
live happily ever after."

The man was very pleased with his discovery and put the frog
into his pocket. The frog said, " Aren't you going to kiss me?"

The man replied, "At this stage of my life, I think I'd rather
have a talking frog than a wife."
<><>

Well it's time to say Goodnight. Have a lovely day tomorrow
and be kind to one another. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 450 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 12th May, 2008


13 comments:

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Loved the last two, the farmer and his mule and the talking frog. Both pretty cute and I must say, I don't blame the farmer, I would have said I was fine also. LOL

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed your jokes as always.
I especially liked the farmer one.

Take care,


June

Sioux said...

Hi, Merle. Love the stories...especially about the frog. Yes, John got to China ok. We sort of had a scare today because of the earthquake, but he emailed tonight and said everything is fine. He is studying international business and the Chinese language. He says so far it is very interesting.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thank you, Merle.

A belated Joyful Mothers Day to all!

Dave said...

As always Merle, you make me smile in the morning.. *S*

By the way, I sent an email to you, with something you may be able to use on your blog!
Dave

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I just wanted to wish you a Happy (altough somewhat belated) Mother's Day! I hope it was a GREAT DAY! ~! jb///

Kerri said...

I'm glad you had such a happy Mother's Day with your sons and their families, Merle, and are feeling cheered up by the company.
I miss my sweet mother too. She died in '96. It's hard to believe 12 years have passed since then.
A visit to your blog always puts a smile on my face :)
Wishing you sunny days (and enough rain)!

linda may said...

Happy Mother's Day Merle. As always your blog is fun and a pleasure to read.

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I'm glad you're having nice weather. We are having rain and more rain. I hope you got all your shopping done and are all set for a while. I loved the one about mothers, and that's a good post to remember all the time, not just on Mother's Day.

Cute story about Satan and Jesus. And I liked the one about the farmer and the frog.

I hope you are having a wonderful week, dear Merle. Take care and God bless!

Love and Hugs,

Renie

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Hope you got your shopping done and everything put away. Going to the grocery store is on the very bottom of my list of things I like to do. Thanks for using the little brothers email, I tried to send you another one today but it was returned by Ken. I will try again later. Glad you are having nice weather, we are expecting rain today and tomorrow. Peace

Gattina said...

Hi, I write you from Greece the keyboard is awful, for the first time in my life I can t even read the street names it's all in greek letters ! I'll answer when I am back even Google is in greek letters and I can only guess were I have to click !

audrey` said...

Your Easter Rabbit is so cute =)

Kids are always watching and imitating us. We need to be more careful.

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