Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Words to Live By.

Post 467 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 17th June, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope you are all having a good week,
as I am. Home care Lady today so all is tidy and clean bed
clothes. Washing airing in front of the heater, so all is well.
Yesterday, I made some Lemon Butter, and shared some
with my neighbors. I have some on toast, but intend to try
it on crumpets, as suggested by Lorraine.

Note for Kathy Farrelly. Thank you for your comments
about my team the Blues and how well they are doing, after
a few horrible years. We love Judd, and he was a Victorian
originally, and has made a big difference to Carlton. And with
Fevola kicking goals, and the young guys maturing and it all
llooks good for us. We won't win any Premiership, yet, but
the future looks promising. My son barracks for the Eagles.
Kathy, thank you. Couldn't see where else to reply.

My friend Jan presented me with this lovely award, Thank you
dear friend. Now for the rules :

1. Select 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award,
creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to
the blogger community, no matter the language,

2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link
to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3. Each award- winner has to show the award and put the name
and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4. The award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to
show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog so everyone will know the
origin of this award.

5. To show these rules.
This award is "dedicated to many who nourish and enrich the spirit
and creativity., camaraderie, joy and above all, ART. much art.
I wish that this prize is entertaining to all those bloggers and to
bloggers who day by day share this space and enrich it a little more
each day." Arte Y Pico.
Now I have to pass it on to 5 blogging friends, which isn't easy.
I have chosen:
Karen
Mountain Mama
Linda May
Patty and
Warren.

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Words to Live By.

Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
Because you have only one life
And one chance to do all the things
You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
Be based on a forgotten past;
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling
Live your life so at the end
You're the one smiling and everyone
Around you is crying. Anonymous.
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Time for some jokes ~ ~ ~
A woman's week at the gym. Sent by Robyn and Warren.
Thank you both.

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is
something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone
who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear)
purchased a week of personal training at the local health club
for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school
football cheer lrsder 43 years ago. I decided to go ahead and
give it a try.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY.
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it
was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda
waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond
hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo.

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed
watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics
class after my workout today. Very Inspiring.

Belinda was encouraging me as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she
was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week.

TUESDAY>
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the
door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron
bar into the air, then she put weights on it. My legs were a
little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.
Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel
GREAT. It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth-
brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth
over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving
was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on
top of a GEO (?) in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting my screams
bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky
for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets
this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me
on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a
machine to stimulate an activity rendered obsolete by
elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and
enjoy life. She said some other s**t too.

THURSDAY>
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth
exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.
I couldn't help being a half hour late - it took me that long to
tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumb-bells. When she was
not looking, I ran and hid in the rest room. She sent another
skinny b***h to find me.

Then as a punishment, she put me on the rowing machine --
which I sank.

FRIDAY>
I hate that b***h, Belinda more than any human being has
ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.
Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little cheer-leader. If there
was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain,
I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any
triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand
me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a
sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and
nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone
softer, like the drama coach or the choir director.

SATURDAY.
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in
her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not
show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to
smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked
the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up
catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today
so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will
also pray that next year my daughter (the little s**t)
will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or
a hysterectomy. I still say If God had wanted me to bend
over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds !!!
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Everything I need to know about life, I learned from
Noah's Ark. Thank you Barbara for this one.

1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Remember we are all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
4. Stay fit. When you are 600 years old, someone may
ask you to do something big.
5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs
to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
8. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board
with the cheetahs.
9. When you're stressed, float a little.
10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic
by professionals.
11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's
always a rainbow waiting . . .
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Another from Warren and Robyn. Thanks to you both.
How to Save the Airlines.

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in
the first place.

Replace sll the female flight attendants with good-looking
strippers. What the hell -- they don't even serve food
anymore, so what's the loss?


The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get
a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And of course,
every businessman in this country would start flying again,
hoping to see naked woman.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need
a salary, thus saving even more money.

Muslims would be afraid to get on planes for fear of seeing
naked women.
High-jackings would come to a screeching halt, and the air-
line industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - -
a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do
everything myself?

Sincerely, Bill Clinton.
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You two will get me locked up or worse!!!
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In darkest night, a policeman watches a staggering man
trying in vain to unlock a door.
"Is this your home, after all?" the policeman asks.
"Sure. I'll prove it if you help me."

Inside the man explains, "You see, this is my bedroom.
And this is my wife."
"And who is the man next to her?" the policeman wants
to know.
"That's me !" ~ ~ ~ Rene Geyer.
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After the morning service, the church treasurer addressed
the congregation saying, "I have a piece of bad news, then a
piece of good news, followed by some more bad news.

"The bad news is we require a new roof and it is going to cost
quite a bit of money. The good news is we already have the
money. The bad news is, it's in your pockets."
~ ~ ~ Walter Whitehill.
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The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked
him to take his little sister along fishing. "The last time she
came," he objected, "I didn't catch a single fish."

"I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she
won't make any noise."
"It wasn't the noise, Mum," the boy replied. "She ate all my bait."
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A couple of extras in the play were talking backstage at the end
of the performance. "What's wrong with our leading lady?" one
actress asked. "She seems really mad about something."

"OH, she's upset because she received only nine bouquets of
flowers over the footlights," the other woman answered.

"Nin." exclaimed the first actress. "That's pretty good, isn't it?"
"Yes," her friend replied, "but she paid for ten."
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"What's this daily charge for fruit?" the hotel patron asked the
manager. "We didn't eat any."

"But the fruit was placed in your room every day. It isn't our
fault if you didn't take advantage of it."

"I see," said the man as he subtracted some money from the bill.
"What are you doing>" sputtered the manager.
"I'm charging you with kissing my wife."
"What? I didn't kiss your wife."
"Ah," replied the man, "but she was there."
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A very few quotes ~ ~ ~

When what you want doesn't happen, learn to want what does.
~ ~ ~ Arabic.

When you fall in a pit, you either die or get out.~~ Chinese.

Where you were born is less important than how you live.
~ ~ ~ Turkish.

You can fool all the people some of the time, but you can't
fool them all the time. ~ ~ ~ Aesop.

Without kindness there can be no true joy.~ Thomas Carlyle.

You don't know what you've got until it's gone. ~~Unknown.

Your time is the greatest gift you can give someone.`Unknown.
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Well that is it for tonight. I hope the rest of the week will be
good for you all. The weather not too hot or too cold.
Enjoy your lives, my friends. Love and Best Wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 467 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 17th June, 2008.
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15 comments:

Gattina said...

In my house it was cleaning day too, lol ! Every tuesday the cleaning lady comes (a very nice and friendly one from Poland) and today I also had the window cleaner. Our windows are so big they replace a wall !
I've got the birthday present from Robin by mail it's really too funny We have winter in our summer, it's only 7° in the morning and 18 - 20 afternoos, far too cold !

Jim said...

Hi Merle, now you are all ready for another week. I like Lemon Curd, I will have to check on Lemon Butter.

I would fly on your airline even if there were strippers. Isn't it terrible how the airlines are charging for the little nice things anymore? Like water.
Those strippers won't be free long either, or could they think of nice things to charge for also? The airlines need the $$$.
Cheers,
..

Bear Naked said...

That was funny about the gift certificate to the health club.

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

Yummm, the lemon butter sounds so good...I've tasted it before at a tea room and loved it. Never made my own though!! Don't you just love getting into bed to freshly laundered sheets:-)

Congratulations on the award, dear Merle, you certainly do have a blog that is a wonderful place for us to visit:-)

I laughed out loud when I read about the woman's week at the gym...having had a year's membership at a gym years ago, I got to really dislike the skinny instructor so I can relate to that story! LOL

Take care my friend and have a wonderful week! xoxo

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Glad all is clean and tiddy again for you. Yummy lemon butter. I make fruit butter and give it away at Christmas. Is it that cool to dry by the heater? Peace be with you.

linda may said...

Merle! You gave me an award, my first one! I love it. But I don't know how to put it up onto my blog page. I have to wait for dear son to do it for me, if he is not in a snotty mood today. lol. Thank you so much.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I was laughing so hard at the work out present my daughter was wondering what was going on. Hehe. I read it before when it was the new years gift from the wife.

Janice~

Dave said...

Oh my GOD I laughed so hard when I read "I still say If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds !!!"

Great post Merle!! As always!

Oh, and congratulations on the award!

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle.Yummy home made lemon butter havent had any for many years .I had my cleaner in today. so also got a nice clean house..I must say I hardly moved off the chair this week but today feel like im on the improve...

I must say I did laugh out loud at the Great Jokes.how true Noah's Ark.. well my friend im of for another early night.. love Jan

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

"Words to Live By" is grand.

Gattina said...

At least you recognized one !! nobody else even noticed that they are famous actors ! There is Al Pacino, Sylvester Stallone, Hugh Laurie, Jack Nicholson and Robin Williams !

daffy said...

I loved the Words to live by... so true!
.
Congrats on the award, you'll have to make space on the mantle piece. :o) Hope you are well Merle, love Daffy xx

Mountain Mama said...

I've never made lemon butter. It sounds interesting.
Thanks so much for the nice award Merle. I will try to get it posted soon.
You are the queen of Jokes I think. I loved the one about the drunk man coming home. It really cracked me up!
We have had some really nice weather the past few days so I'm getting lots of yard work done. My poor old body sure feels it tonight. I'm like 'ache city!"
Hugs

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I am so glad all is going well with you, and the lemon butter sounds delicious. I love lemon flavor in just about everything. And congratulations on the lovely award.

Words to Live By is beautiful advice. And the jokes are the best! They all got a good laugh from me. lol. And Noah's Ark is another bit of great wisdom.

We have had beautiful weather around here, cool nights and pleasant days. Spent some time at the cabin this week, and went to a birthday party for my friend Garnet, who turned 88 this year, and is still doing great. She is blessed and is a blessing to her friends.

Dear Merle, I enjoyed my visit with you, as always. Stay well and happy and have a wonderful weekend, my friend.

Love a blessings,

Renie

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Congratulations on the award =)
I'm so happy for you.
(((HUGS)))