Friday, July 11, 2008

Life is Short.

Post 478 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 1oth July, 2008.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope all is well with you and
that the coming weekend will be good for you.
All OK here and I am looking forward to tomorrow.
My dear blogging friend Connie aka Meow is calling
in for a brief visit with her husband and daughter.
Then they are going to visit the SPC Factory Outlet,
and then on to Kyabram to meet up with friends
and stay overnight. So it will be lovely to see them
again.



A sweet angel sent to me by Barbara. Thank you Barbara for that
and the nice poem below. Click to enlarge poem.


Time for some jokes. First one from my friend, Embee.
Thank you Mike.

Driving Test.
A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is
stopped by the police.

"What are doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your
car?" asks the police officer.

"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."

"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it." says the officer.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches.

A couple driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking.
Look at the test they are giving now."
<><>

One from my good friend Patty . Thank you Patty.
Life's Little Surprises.

I ended up with an older woman at a club, last night. She
looked pretty good for a sixty year-old. In fact, she wasn't
too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she
probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and she
asked if I had ever had a Sportsman's Double?"
"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
"Oh," I said as my mind began to embrace the idea.
No, I haven't." And I wondered what this daughter
of hers might look like.

We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that
tonight was 'my lucky night.'
I went back to her place.

We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted,
"Mom, Are you still awake?"
<><>

One from Lady Di. Thank you Dianne.

The blind bunny.
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny
trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right
on his twitchy little nose.

"Oh please excuse me," said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip
over you, but I;m blind and can't see."

"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it
was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and
I didn't see you coming,
By the way, what kind of animal are you ?"

"Well, I really don't know ,' said the bunny. I'm blind and I've
never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over , and he said, "Well, you're
soft and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a fluffy tail
and a dear twitchy nose. You must be a bunny rabbit."

The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But by the way,
what kind of animal are you ?"

The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny
agreed to examine him and when the bunny was finished,
the snake asked, "Well what kind of animal am I ?"

The bunny felt the snake all over, and replied, "You're cold,
you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls. . . .You must
be a POLITICIAN."
<><>

An Englishman, a Japanese man and an Australian, who
were exploring the highlands of New Guinea, were
captured by wild cannibals.. The men are led to a
gravesite near the water.

The chief said, "We will kill you as cowards or we will
let you die honorable deaths for your homelands. You
choose the weapons. Either way, we will use your skins
to make our canoes."

The Englishman , a soldier at heart, asks for a hand gun.
He is taking his own life in a civilised and noble manner
by shooting himself.

The Japanese man asks for a sword. A warrior at heart,
he is taking his own life in a civilised, noble manner by
committing hara-kiri.

Finally, the Australian asks for a fork. "A fork?" asks
the chief. But as it is the Australian's dying wish, so they
hand him a fork. He stabs himself repeatedly in the chest
yelling, "SCREW YOUR FLAMING CANOE."
<><>

A married couple made it into the Guinness Book of
Records for the longest recorded marriage -- it had been
going for eighty years up to that point.

When asked to explain what the secret of maintaining
such a long and successful marriage was, the husband
replied, "Yes, dear."
<><>

After three days off with the flu, Jim's back at work in
a great mood. His mate, Max can't exactly understand
why.
.
"It was a wonderful experience," Jim explains..
"Wonderful?" Max asked in stunned disbelief.
"How can the flu be wonderful?"

"Well," says Max, "I found out that my wife really loves
me. You know that when the mail-man came by, or a
delivery man headed toward , my wife ran out to meet
them, I could hear her excitedly saying, "My husband
is home. My husband is home."
<><>

A very few quotes as I am getting sleepy.~ ~

If you can count your money, you don't have a
billion dollars. ~ ~ ~ J. Paul Getty.

Death is not the last sleep,
It is the final awakenin g.~ ~ ~ Walter Scott.

Until we meet again, may God hold you in the
palm of His hand. ~ ~ ~ Irish Blessing.
<><>

Goodnight my friends. enjoy the weekend and look
after each other and share some smiles. Love and
Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 478 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 11th July, 2008.
<><><>


14 comments:

PEA said...

Dearest Merle,

Hello my friend:-) It's been much too long since I've visited...with summer here, I'm spending most of my time outside and my computer time is really taking a beating! lol

How wonderful that you'll be seeing Connie tomorrow...I so wish I could be there with both of you:-) She's another one I haven't visited in a while so I must go catch up with her news as well!!

It's only 22c here today so a welcome change from the heat and humidity we'd been getting before. I went to pick strawberries with my mom & Ross yesterday and it was the perfect weather, not too hot and not too cold:-)

Loved all the jokes, thank you so much for the chuckles! Take care dear friend. xoxo

Bear Naked said...

Merle
I think the bunny and snake joke is so funny.
Have a wonderful weekend.

Bear

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Good evening Merle, loved the bunny and sanke joke, in fact it made me laugh outloud so I had to read it to Abe and he laughed to. So thanks for the laugh. Have a great week-end.

Peter said...

Hi Merle, hope you are not freezing down there, our last few nights have been COLD but still nice days.
Say Hi to Connie and Co for me hope you have a nice visit.
Vicki is still getting more than her share of pain but otherwise OK.

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle, Have a lovely visit with Connie and Family and dont forget to take some photo's.
oH Merle I had quite a laugh at todays jokes specially the blind rabbit,and the Paul Getty Quote how True..Take care keep warm.Love Janxxxx

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- You sure do have a lot of visitors, I am sooooo glad.

Your Sweet Angel and poem sent by Barbara were the best. The jokes were good too.

My roommate before either of us were 21 romanced an older woman who lived in the apartment across the hall. That way she would buy beer for us as we were much too young to buy. I thought she was terribly old but now I'm sure she was much younger than our crowd here.

Cheers, have a nice weekend,
..

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I hope that Connie has a nice visit! She seems like a nice lady (from her posts)! ~ jb///

K.C. said...

Good thing I stopped drinking and driving! Could never pass that test!


Thank you so much for the encouragement you sent my way. I know that I have been busy being home with my children. Haven't I? I think that I have..

Now, I am wondering how to do it and teach others..I am truly excited about it.. Your comments did me a world of good. I mean that. Thanks again.. Kayce

linda may said...

Nice post Merle, as usual.
Clever aussie, That's thinkin'.
I am freezing. I can see snow on the brindabellas from here. Inland has about 5 degrees on us.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Nice to hear Connie and her family are calling in. Say Hi from me.

I always get a chuckle from your jokes...I won't ask where you get some of them...!

Enjoy your day.

Hugs

Nancy said...

Hi Merle,

Loved your jokes again, especially the bunny one! You make me smile!!!

Enjoy your visit with Connie!

(((HUGS)))

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I'm sure you had a good visit with Connie and her daughter and husband. And the poem Life is Short is so true. I am sending it to some dear friends. Thank you for sharing it. Life's Little Surprises is funny. And the bunny got it right about the snake/politician. Hehe. And the dumb husband with the flu was funny as well. lol. And since I can count my money quite easily, I sure don't have anywhere near a billion. :(

Dear Merle, we have rain this morning, and I am hoping it will slow down a bit by the time I am going to church. But if not, I have an umbrella. Greg is here this weekend too, helping me get things ready for my older son, Joe's visit, at the end of this coming week. I look forward to seeing Mckenzie again for a week. Granddaughters are our special gift when we are old. Or older? lol. Older sounds better than old, doesn't it.

Hope the weather isn't too cold for you and that you are having a wonderful weekend, dear friend. Until next time, take good care!

Love,

Renie

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
You make my day dear lady. Laughter can always be found here.
I loved the aussie one. The blind bunny joke has taken on new meaning here in the states especially after Jesse Jackson's made his comment in the open mike. heeeeee.
Have a grand visit with your friend. Peace

audrey` said...

Life is indeed very short.
The poem is so appropriate =)