Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Love to all.

Post 526 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 29th October, 2008.

Hi My Friends ~~ It is almost midnight, so this won't be a very long post. Do I hear a
large sigh of relief ? I have been busy cooking again today and the time has got away.

We have two birthdays tomorrow of two blogging friends, so wish them a happy day.
First we have our friend Kenju from Imagine and also another friend Jim who is in Guatemala at present doing volunteer work at an orphanage. I hope Judy and Jim both have a wonderful day for their special day.

This lovely e - mail was sent to me by my good friend Nancy. Thank you so much Nancy. I have changed it a little.

Dear God, The person reading this is beautiful, classy, and strong and I love him/her.
Help him/her live his/her life to the fullest.
Please promote him/her and cause him/her to excel above expectations.

Help him/her to shine in darkest places and love where it is impossible to love.
Protect him/her at all times, lift him/her up when he/she needs you the most and let
him/her know that when He/She walks with you, He/She will always be safe.
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Just a few jokes now ~ ~ ~

Now who says blondes are not intelligent? Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy of boy, did we go round? Just because I am female doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid So, I proceeded to tell him, just what his fast talking sales guy had told last year . . . . "that in one year the windows would pay for themselves."

There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back. Guess I must have won that silly argument.
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Marooned on a South Seas island, a man with a beard down to his knees is walking on the beach. Suddenly a beautiful woman emerges from the surf.

"Been here long?" she asks. "Since 1981," he replies.
"How long since you had a cigarette?" "Eleven years."

She unzips a pocket in the sleeve of her wet suit, pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lights one and hands it to him. He inhales greedily. "How long since you had a drink of whiskey?" "Eleven years."

She unzips the other sleeve and offers him a flask. He takes a long drink and looks at her adoringly. "How long," she asks coyly, :since you played around?"

"Eleven years," She starts to unzip the front of her wet suit.
"Gosh," he says, you got a set of golf clubs in there?"
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A professor walked into a bar and said, "Bring me a martinus."
The bartender smiled and said, "You mean martini?"
"If I want more than one," snapped the professor, "I'll order them."
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Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known forexaggerating the size of the 'one that got away.' But then there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish. "If I use both it will seem ostentatious." he told his wife.

"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.
"No, If I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly, Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.

"Dear," he called out to his wife, "Bring in the other flounder."
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An English tutor was explaining the value of prepared English notes to his students.
"These notes will do half the work for you," he continued, because everything is already analysed."
"I'll take two," said a voice from the back of the class."
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Young man at a marriage bureau : "All I want is a girl with a sense of humor who can cook. Is that too much to ask of an heiress?"
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Well I got to this stage last night and pressed publish, but no way would it do that. Hope to have better luck this morning. Take great care of yourselves and each other.
Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 527 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 29th October, 2008.
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13 comments:

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Dear Merle,
Once again you had some great jokes. I always love the blonde jokes. Hope you were able to get a good nights sleep last night. It's been very chilly here. I'm trying to get my body adjusted to it, but it's hard when it's damp. The sun was shining nice and bright today, but it was still very cold. I guess I complain too much. I know I'll sleep good tonight. Abe dug up the canna lilies, and I had to cut the tops off, wash them and lay them in the garage on newspaper so they can dry off, then in a few days, will have to store them in shredded newspaper until spring when we plant them again. This is the first time we've ever had any, our neighbor gave us a few last year and they really reproduced. I know you're having your warm weather now, so I hope it hasn't been too warm for you. Have a good night.
Love,
Patty

Gramma Ann said...

Hi Merle,

I hope all is well with you and you got a good nights sleep and are well rested. I enjoyed the blonde joke, but always like the blonde jokes. Maybe it's because I'm not a blonde.
And the flounder joke was slap-stick funny. lol..

Merle, if you stop by my blog:
http://annsquotesandthings.blogspot.com I left an award for you to pick up. Come by any time and get it. ;)

Have a nice day and a glorious week.

Gramma Ann

Gramma Ann said...

P.S. It's me again. The award is the "Kreativ Blogger" award, that Reader Wil past on to me. I guess I didn't explain myself very well. Maybe you can visit again and pick it up.. ;)

Puss-in-Boots said...

Sometimes I feel sorry for blondes...they get such a hard time. But so do the Irish, the Kiwis, Aussies, Poms, etc. etc...I could go on. But what sort of a world would we have if there were no jokes?

Thanks for the laughs, Merle.

Hugs.

Bear Naked said...

That blonde joke is priceless Merle.
I am definitely going to pass it on.

Bear((( )))

Dave said...

Loved that blonde joke... it never gets old!

Have a wonderful day Merle!

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Love to you too =)

I'm so happy that John is back safely. All thanks be to God.

Have a blessed time with your brother when he visits =)

Take care.

Gill - That British Woman said...

I popped by for my daily fix of your jokes, and wasn't dissappointed (sp?)

Gill in Canada

Joy Des Jardins said...

So you were busy cooking again today were you? I can only imagine what delicious things you made all day in your kitchen Merle. I wish I could have been sitting there sampling all of your goodies and chatting with you. No wonder you're tired....sleep tight my sweet friend....Hugs, Joy

Jeanette said...

Gday Dear Merle.. Your freezer will be well stocked when Peter and Warren arrived I can smell that lovely Chicken cooking are you going to add the mustard sauce was so yummy...great jokes Hahaha to the Blonde.
Ill keep an eye on your strawberries, before buying mine.
Take care dear Merle.. love Janxxxxxx

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle. SImon was a pretty clever fisherman. LOL
I hope all is well with you and yours. We have had a couple very wet days. SO much rain it's running down the road like a creek. This is typical Autumn weather here but I sure don't like it.
Take care and have a great week end.

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
I loved the fisherman and I guess the lady would have hit the guy in the head if she had golf clubs. LOL
Have a great weekend. Peace

Deborah Wilson said...

Dear Merle,

How is the weather there? Is it getting hot? Here it is getting cold, although the next few days will be warm. Now is a good time to get in a little hiking before winter sets in.

Catching up on your blog this weekend - the past 3 or 4 weeks have been pretty busy - but pleasant! :)

Too bad that my hair has a little red highlight - if not, I could get away with a lot - or as my luck goes, get in trouble! lol