Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Where There is Love.

Post 521 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 14th October, 2008.

Hi Everybody ~~ I hope all is as well in your world, as it is in mine. Today was shopping
day, so the cupboards and fridge are all stocked up again. I have lots of comments to reply to, but thought I had better do this, before I get too tired. And make too many typos
as I always manage to make a few. Sorry about that.

Another birthday tomorrow on the 15th ~~ our dear friend Horizon in Scotland. I hope you have a wonderful day dear Sarah.

Tonight, I am being lazy and posting another of Helen Steiner Rice's Poems. It is called "Where there is Love. I hope you enjoy it.

Where there is love the heart is light,
Where there is love the day is bright,
Where there is love there is a song
To help when things go wrong . . . .
Where there is love, there is a smile
To make all things seem more worthwhile.
Where there is love there's quiet peace,
A tranquil place where turmoils cease . . .

Love changes darkness into light
And makes the heart take 'wingless flight'
And Mothers have a special way
Of filling homes with love each day,
And when the home is filled with love
You'll always find God spoken of,
And when a family 'prays together'
That family also 'stays together'.

And once again a Mother's touch
Can mould and shape and do so much
To make this world a better place
For every colour, creed and race ---
For when man walks with God again,
There shall be PEACE on EARTH for Men.
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A couple of short ones from my friend Patty. Thank you my friend.

Dear God, The lady reading this is Beautiful, Classy, Strong and I LOVE HER.
Help her live her Life to the Fullest. Please Promote her and cause her to Excel above expectations. Help her to Shine in darkest places and Love where it is impossible to Love. Amen.
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MY LIVING WILL.
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine. She's such a bitch.
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I went to the Registry of motor vehicles to renew my license. When I handed the clerk a check to pay for the license, she asked for some identification. I pointed to the renewal
pictured license that she was holding in her hand.
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A few more of my Pelargoniums
that I meant to put nearer the top of the post. I have a very nice collection of them.






While talking to a colleague IN PERSON I mentioned that I had colored my hair. He asked me what color,
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My friend Lorraine sent me this next one. It is called "How to call the Police when you are old and don't move fast Anymore. Thank you, Lorraine.

George Phillips of Marsh Green, Wigan was going to bed when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked , "Is someone in your house?" and when he said ;no' Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock the back door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them. hen he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips
residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said you'd shot them."
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available.
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A blonde walks into a bank and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands ovr the keys to her newRolls Royce. The car is parked in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the csar as collateral for the loan.

The bank's executives all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,ooo Rolls Royce as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies. . . ." Where else can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. See?" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you are blonde."

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only go to D, but I went
all the way to G. A.B.C.D.E.F.G." "Very good, " said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you are blonde."

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled
"we were in gym class today and when we showered, all the girls had flat chests, but I have these." And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I am blonde, Mommy?"
"No, honey, it'd because you are twenty-four."
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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know one thing to say." "What do they say?" the priest asked. "They say, 'Hi we're hookers --Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene'" the priest exclaimed.

Then he thought for a moment. "You know,"he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'lll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying. . . .that phrase. . . . in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that the two male parrrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying, Impressed she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison, "Hi, we're hookers. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parent and exclaimed. "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered"
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Time for bed for me as it's heading for 1 am. Take good care of yourselves my friends and of each other. Share some smiles with those who don't have any. My loveand Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 521 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 14th October, 2008.
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19 comments:

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Dear Merle,
Loved the drivers license renewal and her wanting an ID. Also that was one smart blonde with her car parking. Love the parrot joke. Hope you slept well last night. I sure did. Till later have a wonderful evening.
Love, Patty

Annie said...

Loved calling the cops when you are old and slow and of course, the parrot story is a riot. Hugs, Annie

Bear Naked said...

Merle
That Living Will joke is so funny.
Thanks for sharing that one.

Bear((( )))

Winifred said...

These are so funny. My husband would agree with the living will one!

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

Since you're now all stocked up again, I'll be right over for a meal! hehe I've been thinking of Sarah lately, she hasn't blogged since May so I'm hoping everything is fine with her.

Loved the poem as well as the jokes. Some really made me laugh out loud! lol Now we know how to get the police to come out sooner! hehe xoxo

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hahaha! I like the living will...I have a couple of friends who would do that to me!

As for the parrots, that is a classic!

Your pelargoniums are lovely, very colourful. I have a geranium flowering in a colour I didn't realise I had, a lovely cerise. Just goes to show...

Hugs.

Gattina said...

So you played the Hamster and filled up your fridge lol ! I had to laugh about your friend ! she has the right sense of life !!

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

The pics are so beautiful =)

"My Living Will" is so funny =D

Take care, my dear friend.
(((HUGS)))

Dave said...

*LOL* The joke Lorraine sent you was on my blog earlier this week! *S*

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

It's always good to hear that all is well with you.

Where There is Love is beautiful. One can never go wrong with a Helen Steiner Rice poem.

Ah, that was a nasty friend, pulling the plug on the computer. Ha!

Oh, your Pelagoriums are ever so beautiful. Such vibrant colors. I think the pink one is my favorite, but then, I'm partial to pink.

Old George knew just what to do about getting the police there, didn't he? Haha. Old people have to be clever, don't they? And that blonde was pretty smart, wasn't she? Hehe.

Dear Merle, I enjoyed all the jokes today and can start my Wednesday with a smile on my face. Thank you, my friend. Have a wonderful day, and evening. See you again, soon.

Love and blessings,

Renie

JunieRose2005 said...

Dear Merle,

I enjoyed all your jokes today!

:) I especially liked the one about calling the police.

Take care-hope you're having a good day.


June

Jim said...

Hi Merle, thank you for the nice poem and the two blonde jokes. They were the best, all were nice.

Those pelagoriums are doing very nicely, you must have a green thumb.

We have our fridge filled back up after everything had to be thrown out for Ike. I'm glad you are filling yours and the cupboards, soon it will be to hot to go out shopping.
No, I know, it is never too hot or cold for ladies to go shopping.
Cheers,
..

Mary said...

Merle,

I enjoyed your post, as always. I especially liked the way for elderly people to call the police. I had to do this once when I was very young.

My daughter had been beaten by the babysitter in 1971. When I picked her up and took her home, she was fretful. As time passed, I could see a hand mark on her face there was a piece of skin that was missing from her spine. I called the police and they told me they couldn't go and arrest the babysitter. I told them they'd better get there before I did because I had a rifle hanging on my wall and was going to use it. LOL They were at my house and the babysitters house within 5 minutes. They arrested the woman's husband and he took the wrap, but it was really the woman who did it. A very trying time, as the Children's Aid accused me of putting my child in danger by leaving her with the couple. I was a single mother at the time. I'm glad that is over and done with. I hadn't thought about it for many years until I saw that joke.

Take care, my friend. Love your flowers and am glad we are back in touch.

Blessings,
Mary

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle. Once again your jokes are great!!
I love your flowers too. Of course it is autumn here and things are dying down but I still have a few bright splashes of color here and there. I posted some marigolds today. Golly they sure do brighten up my yard, especially this time of year when things are so dark and gloomy.
I hope you are having a great week.
Love & hugs

Bear Naked said...

Merle
Could you come over to my blog today.
I have something for you.

Bear((( )))

linda may said...

G'Day,
I love Helen Steiner Rice Too. I sent my sister the Living Will joke a while back and she loved it. It is appropriate for both of us. He he.

Dreadnought said...

Hi Merle, Your Pelargoniums look well. Can you leave them outside all winter where you live? Thanks for the info on Bathurst. I have 67 sheep to look after in the morning.

Janice said...

He he, old George was a smart old fella.

Janice~

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle.. thanks for your lovely comments,and Im pleased to hear John has company on his long ride. Im well thank you was able to shake of the bug with a few early nights.
Love the Helen Steiner poem, where would we be without love.
I had quite a laugh at the jokes tonight.Keep well dear Merle I have just got home from an awards night with Donna and Brett and and im feeling rather tired so off to bed. LOve Janxxxxx