Sunday, January 04, 2009

Good For the Soul.

Post 553 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 4th January, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~~ How are things at your place? Have you settled down after all the
celebrations? Happily, I am back to normal here and enjoying life once again. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Christmas and had a great time. The weekend has been quite a quiet one with no callers, so I have caught up with my replies. I am glad that some of you liked
the story of Molly, the pony in my last post. I thought it was a good one.

My picture tonight was sent yo me by my dear friend, Patricia Lincoln. Thanks Patty for the
picture and the nice words below it. I liked it, so am passing it on.




I may not be the most important person in your LIFE.

I just hope that when you hear my name, you smile and say -
THAT'S MY FRIEND !

Give this heart to anyone you care about.
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Tonight's Story is called "Good For the Soul."

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six year old son asked if he could say grace ands we bowed our heads, he said," God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would thank you more if mom gets us ice-cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all."

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country, kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream. Why, I never."

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him. An elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my son asked.
"Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper, he added, (indicating the woman whose
remark had started this whole thing,) "Too bad she never asks God for ice-cream. A little ice-cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice-cream at the end of the meal.

My son stared at his ice-cream for a momet and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it i front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you, ice-cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already. Author Unknown.
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BOAT RIDE. Author Unknown.

A priest was taking a tour of biblical sites, when he came to a beach and saw a boat and a sign advertising, --
"TAKE A BOAT RIDE TO THE EXACT PLACE WHERE JESUS WALKED ON WATER."

Inquiring about it, he learned that the ride there was free, so he went.

After viewing it, he said to the captain of the boat, "OK, I'm done, let's go back now."
"That will be $35 to go back."

The priest, shocked by the charge exclaims, "Dang, no wonder Jesus got out and walked."
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One from my good friend, Vicki. Thanks Vicki.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles, Please no bags, And please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots Please no gray And as for my belly Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy and please keep me young. And thank you dear Lord for all you've done.

Five tips for a woman.

1 It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
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A few from my paper. - - - - Senior Personal Ads. seen in a Florida newspaper.
(Who said seniors don't have a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY : Sexy, fashion conscious blue- haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6") searching for sharp-looking sharp=dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG -TERM COMMITMENT : Recent widow who has just buried her fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness
of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW : I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, ;;;;;;;;;;;;let's get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE : Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

MEMORIES : I can usually remember Monday through to Thursday. If you can remember
Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our heads together.

MINT CONDITION : Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
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JOB DESCRIPTIONS in the REAL WORLD. . . . .

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way that you don't understand.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it starts to rain. ~ ~ Mark Twain.

A lawyer is is a person who writes a 10.000 word document and calls it a "Brief."

A psychologist is one who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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A gorgeous young redhead goes in to the doctor's office and said her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible," said the doctor, "Show me."
The redhead pushed on her left breast and screamed and then she pushed on her
elbow ad screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed. Likewise, she pushed her ankle ad screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You are not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no. I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," said the doctor. "Your finger is broken."
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A teacher was reading the story of the "Three Little Pigs" to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first little pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me, sir but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"

The teacher paused and asked the class, "And what do you think the man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, "I think the man would have said, "Hell, a talking pig." "
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Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman took his business card and three days later she became his
stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
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That is it for tonight, my friends.. Take really good care of yourselves and each other. Enjoy all the wonderful things in our world. My love and best wishes to
you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 553 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 4th January, 2009.
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21 comments:

Christina said...

HI Merle, best wishes to you in the new year!

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Dear Merle,
Loved them all as usual, but especially the Good for the Soul and the Boat Ride. Have a crock pot of great northern beans cooking with the ham bone from the spiral ham we had at Christmas. Thought about making a pan of cornbread, but too lazy, we'll just have buttered bread with the beans. Granddaughter (8 years old) is spending time with her Aunt this week-end, so this was a good time to fix them. She won't even try them. Have a wonderful rest of the Sunday.
Love,
Patty

Puss-in-Boots said...

Good for the soul...can't some people be hidebound and thoughtless? I thought it was a delightful story and would loved to have seen that woman's face when the little boy presented her with the icecream...especially when he said what he did.

Hugs.

Gledwood said...

That's a great post as per always, Merle. Love the remark about the banker... as for the ice cream story, that reminds me of the saying you used to hear a lot more than you do now: "a little bit of what you fancy does you good". Probably we don't hear it bc most of the populace have taken to heart a variant that would be expressed as "do as much as you possibly can of what you fancy and to hell with anyone else!" ~ well that's my curmudgeonly opinion on today's world!

Hope you're having an excellent 2009, Merle and thanks so much for all the lovely messages you've left at mine along the way...

;->...

Winifred said...

Thanks Merle

Love the ice cream story. Hope you're having a good New Year.

bigbikerbob said...

Hi Merle, Great jokes as usual, I really liked the "Senior persons" ones.
Have a really great 2009 and keep thise jokes coming.

Jack K. said...

I loved the ice cream story. I think I may have seen it before, but it is still good. It does bring a tear to the eye.

I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your 5 tips for a woman and posted it on my site.

Beth E. said...

That's a great story! The jokes were really funny, too. :o)

Have a great week!

Dave said...

*S* You almost brought tears to my eyes with the ice cream story Merle!!!

Great post as always! *S*

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU.
Yesterday from 3-5, I celebrated the last five years of work. The reception turn out well and the show will hang through January.
I can always count on a good story and laughs when I get here.
Peace

carl h. sr. said...

Happy New Year again Merle!
I like all of the stories,but I think my very favorite for laughs is (5 tips for women) and (Three little pigs).
Thank you for the joy you share,
carl

Joy Des Jardins said...

Hi Merle,

Loved your posts....especially the ice cream story. Things are pretty much back to normal now. Took all of my Xmas decorations down this past weekend. The house looks really bare now, but it feels good to get back to normal again. It's so darn quiet now. I guess a good, crazy visit of grandkids and all my kids back in this old house kind of shocks things back into place huh?

I hope 2009 is really good to you my dear friend...lots of love, good health, peace and contentment coming your way Merle. Love, Joy

Hootin' Anni said...

I really, really liked the 5 tips for women. LOLOL

Hi Merle. Hope your day has been a super one. I know yours is nearly over as I type this, but my morning has just begun.

Now, I'm off to read about Molly.

Hootin' Anni said...

PS...oh my gosh, I just read about Molly and hurricane Katrina...whoa...what a wonderful outcome. Gotta love that story. Thank you, THANK YOU for sharing it.

Gina E. said...

Hey Merle,
Is the photo of your son's puppies on your blog anywhere? After you mentioned it in your comment on my blog, I went looking for a photo of 4 puppies, but couldn't find one.

Gramma Ann said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed the boy and the ice cream story. It reminded me of the quote, "When life hands you a lemon--always ask for sugar!" Only different, he gave the lemon his sugar!

The Senior Ads and the Job descriptions were quite funny, LOL.

In reading Patty comment, it made me hungry, so I think I will be having Ham and Beans today. Sounds good on a cold wintry day.

Merle, have a great rest of the week, in your warm Aussie summer. ;) Ann

Gill - That British Woman said...

those personal ads, were just so funny!!!

I am mentioning your blog on a post I am doing on my blog on Friday, just thought I'd let you know.

Gill in Canada

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hello dear Merle.
Hope your new year is starting out well. Great jokes, as always!
Take care
Lisa

Technonana said...

Merle... I am so glad I found you.
You are what we call in the states, 'a laugh riot'.
THANKS FOR THE CHUCKLES!!
Your Friend in SC, USA
Sharon

Rosezilla said...

Loved the blond joke! That made me laugh out loud. The investment planning one was really good too. And the ice cream one! Lots of good ones as usual.

audrey` said...

"That's my Friend" comes to my mind whenever I think of you, Merle =)