Post 587 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 30th March, 2009.
Hello My Friends ~~ I hope some of you are enjoying the Spring weather as we are
having delightful Autumn days down under. A few days reached 30 C about 86 F but that
was OK. I am still battling here, had blood tests today and see doctor on Thursday.
I have 2 granddaughters visiting on Friday for a couple of days. Luckily both Kate and Kristen can cook so between us we will manage. Tomorrow is shopping day, so I hope we have a better day than a fortnight ago. Kerry will have a different car tomorrow.
Tonight's story was sent to me by my good friend Barbara. Thank you so much.
I have called it "Butterfly Tales. " Pretty pictures anyway.
This says it all: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up.
Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break. Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT...... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling
for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's en
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry
you out ~ Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and
extended family all bless our life.
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day we need each other still.
Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.
Short and very sweet: There are more than twenty angels in this world.
Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds. Nine are playing, And one is reading her E mail at this moment.
You are all very special to me or I wouldn't be taking the time to post this
Thank you all for the comments and kind words recently (both men and women.) I will
get around to replying to you all. You are all much appreciated.
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First joke was sent to me by my good freind Robyn. Thank you Robyn.
This is clever. Pepito, the Mexican learns to speak English.
1. "Cheese" The teacher told Pepito to use the word "cheese" in a sentence.
Pepito replies: "Maria likes me, but cheese fat."
When all my family get in my car, there's not mushroom.
My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn't know how to read, so I shoulder.
My fren always Texas me when I'm not at home, wondering where I'm at.
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.
Ju told me Ju were going to the store and July to me. Julyer!!
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum.
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair. ???
10. "Chicken Wing"
My wife plays the lottery so chicken win.
My wife caught me in bed with another woman and I told her "honey, harrassment nothing to me."
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.
13. "Body Wash"
I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.
That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?
My good friend Nancy sent me The Stranded Irishman. Thanks Nancy.
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over ten years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got
closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibility of a small boat or raft.
Suddenly, there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop- dead gorgeous blonde. She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, 'Tell
me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and and
pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took
a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good. I had almost
forgotten how great a smoke can be."
"And how long since you has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish
Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied , "Ten years.". Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "The nectar of the gods" shouted the Irish man. " 'Tis truly fantastic."
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
Next one is from Sue and Bob. Thank you for this one.
We are in DEEP trouble. The population of this country is approximately 60 million.
32 million are retired, That leaves 28 million to do the work.
There are 17 million in school or at Universities. Which leaves 11 million to do the work.
Of this there are 8 million employed by the UK government. Leaving 3 million to do the work.
1.2 million are in the armed forces preoccufied with killing Osama Bin-Laden and fighting in Afghanistan. Which leaves 1.8 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 0.8 million people who work for Local County Councils. And that
leaves 1 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 488,000 people in hospitals or claiming Invalidity Benefit. Leaving 512 to do the work.
Now there are 511,008 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me, And there you are ~ ~ Sitting at your computer !!!!
Last one was sent by my dear friend Patty. Thanks for this one Patty.
My Five New Boyfriends.
I am seeing 5 gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power gets me out of bed. Then I go to see John.
Then Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.
And when he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day.
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
What a life ! Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer, and thinking of calling
Jack Daniels or Johnny Walker to come and keep me company.
Now remember that life is like a roll of toilet paper....The closer it gets to the
end, the faster it goes ...... so have fun, think 'good thoughts'only, learn
to laugh at yourself, and Count your blessings.
Time to write my shopping list before I retire for what is left of the night.
Take great care of yourselves and each other and I hope this week will be
a good one for us all. My love and best wishes to you all Cheers, Merle.
Post 587 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 30th March, 2009.