Post 641 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 5th November, 2009.
Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well at your house and that life is good
for you all. I am fine and a few cooler days have helped, although we
are heading for 3 days in a row of 37C which is 98.6 F, so not very
pleased about that and sometimes it goes over the forecast.
I am showing off a few of my Pelargoniums tonight. They have been
beautiful this year, but are past their best.They are a type of Geranium
and are fairly hardy when they get settled, and easy on the water that
is always a problem with the lack of rain. We had a good October, but
I really enjoy seeing them and watching as they come to flower, and
this is a very small selection of the ones I have.
The first item tonight was sent to me by my niece, Vicki and I thought
it was so nice that I would share it with you. Thank you dear Vicki.
Think about this for a minute . . . . .
If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something
happened, would you come?
If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?
This is a test to see who your real friends are, or if you are just someone
to talk to you when they are bored.
Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
They blink together, They move together, They cry together,
They see things together, and they sleep together, but they never
see each other; . . . . that's what friendship is . . . .
Your aspiration is your motivation,
Your motivation is your belief,
Your belief is your peace,
Your peace is your target,
Your target is heaven,
and life is hard core torture without it.
It is 'World Best Friends Week'
Who is your best friend?
Pass this on to all your good friends.
Save the Earth . . . . it's the only planet with chocolate!!!
One from my good friend Robyn. Thank you Robyn.
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it. Don't
waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying you
extend the life of a car by driving faster.Want to live longer, take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency . . . What do cows eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables... So steak is nothing
more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken... Beef, also a good source of of field grass
(leafy green vegetable.) And pork chop can give you 100% of
recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take water out of fruit so you get even more goodness
that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!!!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well if you have a body, then you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have 2 bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages od participating in a regular
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: no pain..good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING. Foods these days are fried in vegetable
oil. In fact they are permeated by it. How could getting more
vegetable be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not. When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?? HELLO-O-O Cocoa bean. Another vegetable.
It's the best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my life-style?
A: Hey!! Round is a shape.
Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,
"WOO-HOO," what a ride.!!
How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
Just try this. . .it is from an orthopedic surgeon. This will boggle
your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if
you can outsmart your right foot - but you can't.
It's programmed in your brain.
1. WITHOUT anyone watching you - they will think you are GOOFY
and sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer,
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number six in the air with your
right hand. Your foot direction will change.
I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it.
You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done, you
are going to try it again, if you haven't already done so.
One from my friend Warren. Thanks Mate.
Lovemaking for Seniors.
1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them all OFF.)
4. Make sure you put 000 on speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand, in case you forget.
6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up
under the bed.
7. Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. . . .the neighbours are deaf too.
9. Don't even think about trying it twice.
I sent this in large type so you could read it.
Last one from my good friend Sharon. Thank you, my friend.
"Vat Da Hell Ole?
Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking
company's lawyer was questioning Ole.
"Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine"? asked
Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my
favorite mule, Bessie, into da. . ."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'? "
Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into da trailer and I vas driving
down the road . . . . . .
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway
Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks
after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said
to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite
Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Vell, as I vas saying, I had
loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and vas driving her
down da highway, ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop
sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one
ditch and Bessie into the other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't
vant to move."
"However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she vas
in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, da
Highway Patrolman, came to the scene. He could hear Bessie so he
vent over to her."
After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun
and shot her between the eyes.
Den the Patrolman, came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at
me and said, "How are you feeling?"
"Now, vat DA hell vould YOU say?"
Well it is past my bedtime, so I will close for tonight. Take good care
of yourselves and each other. Enjoy your lives. My love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 641 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 5th November, 2009.