Thursday, November 05, 2009

Merle's Pelargoniums.

Post 641 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 5th November, 2009.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well at your house and that life is good
for you all. I am fine and a few cooler days have helped, although we
are heading for 3 days in a row of 37C which is 98.6 F, so not very
pleased about that and sometimes it goes over the forecast.

I am showing off a few of my Pelargoniums tonight. They have been
beautiful this year, but are past their best.They are a type of Geranium
and are fairly hardy when they get settled, and easy on the water that
is always a problem with the lack of rain. We had a good October, but
none since.

I really enjoy seeing them and watching as they come to flower, and
this is a very small selection of the ones I have.

The first item tonight was sent to me by my niece, Vicki and I thought
it was so nice that I would share it with you. Thank you dear Vicki.

Think about this for a minute . . . . .

If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?

If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something
happened, would you come?

If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?

If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?

This is a test to see who your real friends are, or if you are just someone
to talk to you when they are bored.

Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?

They blink together, They move together, They cry together,
They see things together, and they sleep together, but they never
see each other; . . . . that's what friendship is . . . .

Your aspiration is your motivation,
Your motivation is your belief,
Your belief is your peace,
Your peace is your target,
Your target is heaven,
and life is hard core torture without it.

It is 'World Best Friends Week'
Who is your best friend?
Pass this on to all your good friends.

Save the Earth . . . . it's the only planet with chocolate!!!

One from my good friend Robyn. Thank you Robyn.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it. Don't
waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart does not make you live longer; it's like saying you
extend the life of a car by driving faster.Want to live longer, take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency . . . What do cows eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables... So steak is nothing
more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken... Beef, also a good source of of field grass

(leafy green vegetable.) And pork chop can give you 100% of
recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take water out of fruit so you get even more goodness
that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!!!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well if you have a body, then you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have 2 bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages od participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: no pain..good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING. Foods these days are fried in vegetable
oil. In fact they are permeated by it. How could getting more
vegetable be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not. When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?? HELLO-O-O Cocoa bean. Another vegetable.
It's the best feel-good food around.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my life-style?
A: Hey!! Round is a shape.

Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,
"WOO-HOO," what a ride.!!

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

Just try this. . .it is from an orthopedic surgeon. This will boggle
your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if
you can outsmart your right foot - but you can't.
It's programmed in your brain.

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you - they will think you are GOOFY
and sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer,
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number six in the air with your
right hand. Your foot direction will change.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it.

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done, you
are going to try it again, if you haven't already done so.

One from my friend Warren. Thanks Mate.

Lovemaking for Seniors.
1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them all OFF.)

4. Make sure you put 000 on speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand, in case you forget.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up
under the bed.

7. Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. . . .the neighbours are deaf too.

9. Don't even think about trying it twice.

I sent this in large type so you could read it.

Last one from my good friend Sharon. Thank you, my friend.
"Vat Da Hell Ole?

Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking
company's lawyer was questioning Ole.

"Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine"? asked
the lawyer.

Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my
favorite mule, Bessie, into da. . ."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'? "

Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into da trailer and I vas driving
down the road . . . . . .

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway
Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks
after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said
to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite
mule, Bessie."

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Vell, as I vas saying, I had
loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and vas driving her
down da highway, ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop
sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one
ditch and Bessie into the other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't
vant to move."

"However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she vas
in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, da
Highway Patrolman, came to the scene. He could hear Bessie so he
vent over to her."

After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun
and shot her between the eyes.
Den the Patrolman, came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at
me and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now, vat DA hell vould YOU say?"

Well it is past my bedtime, so I will close for tonight. Take good care
of yourselves and each other. Enjoy your lives. My love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 641 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 5th November, 2009.


Gramma Ann said...

Oh! I wish we could have a bit of your heat. Although today won't be to bad, we will be in the high 50's F.

The flowers are lovely. And the last joke was so funny.

Have a nice week-end and enjoy the warm weather.

Jack K. said...

Loved the flower photos.

Borrowed the posting from Warren. It is too funny for words and deserved to be shared with others.

Things going well here. Our weather is really nutty. It should be in the 40's(F) but will be up in the 60's and 70's this weekend. Go figure.

Take care.

Sharon's Cottage Quilts said...

Hello My Sweet Friend! Your Pelargoniums are Incredible! Your garden is Just Magnificent! The colors are so vivid and beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing them with us. Loved the jokes~Copied Warren's joke to send to friends!!! (smiles)
Love & Hugs~Sharon

Winifred said...

Your flowers are gorgeous Merle, nice to see them as ours are dying off. Shows what the sunshine can do. My geraniums are never fantastic but I can usually manage pelargoniums in pots.

Take care.

Lady Di Tn said...

The flowers are great. I love the colors. We are suppose to be heading down into the high thirties tonight. LOL I would have said I was fine also. Peace

Gina E. said...

Coincidence is a strange thing! We went over to Ken's Mum's house yesterday, to start clearing it out before putting it on the market. She always had lots of geraniums and pelargoniums in her garden, so I took a few cuttings home with me. Two of them are the same as yours, Merle! I've always been partial to them, but Ken says they are nothing but weeds. What would he know - he's only a man...LOL

Patty said...

Dear Merle, liked them all as usual, but really like Ole's reply. LOL I would have probably said the same thing

Beautiful flowers and colors. Have a great evening, Love, Patty

Margaret Cloud said...

Your flowers are very pretty. I like Robyn's questioins, the one about meat & vegetables sound logical to me.That's a good one, my foot did change. I would of said I was okay,m the poor guy was probably scared of being shot. You do have a good post, I like to come by for a smile or two.

Fred said...

Hi Merle - I saw your joke over at Jack's blog - hysterical!

The flowers are gorgeous. As we are transitioning to fall, I bought all the annuals to brighten our yard. Now, if only the weather would cool down.

Pearl said...

Lovely pelargoniums Merle, I think they are gorgous flowers & love looking at pictures of them, sadly can't grow them myself here as the frosts kill them, but I do have geraniums which are hardier.

Dave said...

Oh that last joke was great Merle! (as was the rest of the post too)

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

Linda said...

Those flowers are gorgeous! I've never seen them in these exact colors - spectacular!

You're having some really hot weather - Here, we've been enjoying a mild November, which is heading on into our winter of course. In the 70's this week.

Rosezilla said...

I did it! I did it! The right foot thing, that is. The first time, my foot started going all over the place. Then I slowed down, did bigger circles and was able to draw a 6. you'd think I'd done something really important, I'm so proud of myself, lol!

Jim said...

You are wonderful again tonight, Merle. I like Ole every time I hear about him, no matter what name they give him. :-)
I hadn't thought about chocolate being a vegatable. Before your post pumkin pie was my favorite. Now I have another vegetable favorite.

Mountain Mama said...

Hello Merle. Your flowers are wonderful and make me wish it was summer here too. It has been raining and damp and cool here.
My grandson and his wife are here now picking the remainder of the Fuji apples for me. The apples are delicious this year. Apparently the frost and rains all came at the perfect time and my tree was loaded too.

I love the Ole story and copied it and sent it to a lot of my contacts.
Love that Ole!!
Take care dear friend.