Post 664 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 15th February, 2010.
Hello my Friends ~~ I hope all is well with you and your loved ones and
maybe even the weather being a little kinder for you. It has been a very
nice day here today. I was outside with 2 friends who came to help in the
garden and there was a lovely breeze which was so nice and I don't think
the temperature got to 30 C around mid 80s F. We want more of these.
I am feeling much the same, marginally better but it is early days yet.
Tomorrow is shopping day, so I have my list already done and the green
bags at the ready. They are all colors, pink, purple yellow and green.
The first story tonight is called "The Yellow Shirt" and was sent to me
by my dear niece, Vicki. Thank you for this nice one.
The yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets trimmed in
black thread and snaps at the front. It was faded from years of wear,
but still in decent shape. I found it in 1963 when I was home from college
on Christmas break, rummaging through bags of clothes Mom intended
to give away.
"You're not taking that old thing, are you? Mom said when she saw me
packing the yellow shirt. . ."I wore that when I was pregnant with your
brother in 1954."
"It's just the thing to wear over my clothes during art class Mom. Thanks."
I slipped it into my suitcase before she could object. The yellow shirt
became a part of my college wardrobe. I loved it.
After graduation, I wore the shirt the day I moved into my new apartment
and on Saturday mornings when I cleaned.
The next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I wore the yellow shirt
during big-belly days. I missed Mom and the rest of my family, since we
were in Colorado and they were in Illinois - but that shirt helped. I smiled,
remembering that Mother had worn it when she was pregnant 25 years ago.
That Christmas, mindful of the warm feelings the shirt had given me, I
patched one elbow, wrapped it in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. When
she wrote to thank me for her 'real' gifts, she said the yellow shirt was
lovely. She never mentioned it again...
The next year my husband, daughter and I stopped at Mom and Dad's to
pick up some furniture. Days later when we uncrated the kitchen table, I
noticed something yellow taped to its bottom. The shirt !!
And so the pattern was set.
On our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt under Mom and Dad's
mattress. I don't know how long it took for her to find it, but almost 2
years passed before I discovered it under the base of our living-room
floor lamp. The yellow shirt was just what I needed now while refinishing
furniture. The walnut stains added character.
In 1975 my husband and I divorced. With my 3 children, I prepared to
move back to Illinois. As I packed, a deep depression overtook me.
I wondered if I could make it on my own. I wondered if I would find
a job. I paged through the Bible, looking for comfort. In Ephesians, I
read, "So use every piece of God's armor, but all I saw was the stained
yellow shirt. Slowly it dawned on me. Wasn't my mother's love a piece
of God's armor? My courage was renewed.
Unpacking in our new home, I knew I had to get that shirt back to
Mother. The next time I visited her, I tucked it in her bottom drawer.
Meanwhile, I found a good job at a radio station. A year later i found
the yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning.
Something new had been added. Embroidered in bright green across
the breast pocket were the words "I BELONG TO PAT."
Not to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery materials and added
an apostrophe and seven more letters.
Now the shirt proudly proclaimed, "I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER."
But I didn't stop there. I zig-zagged all the frayed the seams, then had
a friend mail the shirt in a fancy box to Mom from Arlington, VA.
We enclosed an official looking letter from "The Institute for the Destitute,"
announcing that she was the recipient of an award for good deeds.
I would have given anything to see Mom's face when she opened the box.
But of course, she never mentioned it.
Two years later, in 1978, I remarried. The day of our wedding, Harold and
I put our car in a friend's garage to avoid practical jokers. After the
wedding, while my husband drove us to our honeymoon suite, I reached
for a pillow in the car to rest my head. It felt lumpy. I unzipped the case
and found, wrapped in wedding paper, the yellow shirt. Inside a pocket
was a note: "Read John 14:27-29. I love you both, Mother."
That night, I paged through the Bible in the hotel room and found the
verses: "I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the
peace I give you isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be
troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I
will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy
for me, for now I can go to the Father, who is greater tham I am. I have
told you these things before they happen so that when they do, you will
believe in me."
The shirt was Mother's final gift. She had known for three months that
she had terminal Lou Gehrig's disease. Mother died the followig year
at age 57.
I was tempted to send the yellow shirt with her to her grave. But I'm glad
I didn't, because it is a vivid reminder of the love-filled game sha and I
played for 16 years. Besides, my older daughter is in college now,
majoring in art. And every art student needs a baggy yellow shirt
with big pockets.
There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not
superstitious. This Lotus Totus has been sent to you for good luck
from the Anthony Robbins organization.
It has been sent around the world ten times so far. You will receive
good luck within four days of relaying this Lotus Totus.
I don't know who actually wrote the story of the Yellow Shirt, but
I liked it. As that was quite long, just a few jokes tonight.
A few senior citizens ones my son John sent me.
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number
of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
fitted with a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100 %.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor who said,
"Your hearing is perfect..Your family must be pleased that you can hear.."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told them yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times."
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says,"Slim,
I'm 83 years old and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you
are around my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really? Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep, No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gent
already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who
insisted, he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules and regulations, he reluctantly let me wheel
him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know,: he said, "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing
out of her hospital gown."
Three old guys were out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday."
Third one says, "So am I. Let's get a beer."
A man was telling his neighbor, :I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art .Perfect."
"Really," answered his friend, "What kind is it?"
Morris, an 82 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street
with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said Doc : Get a hot Mama and be
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. . .I said, "You've got a heart murmur;
be careful." "
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
getting married?" "Yep" "Do I know her?" "Nope."
"This woman, is she good looking?" "Not really."
"Is she a good cook?" "NAW, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?" "Nope, poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then is she good in bed?" "I don't know."
Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because, she can still drive."
One last one from my dear friend Patty. Thank you.
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is
a mistress, and I have been married for 20 plus years,
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our
men by greeting them at the door, wearing a black bra, stiletto heels
and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend : The other night when my boyfriend came over, he
found me with a black bodice, stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said,
"You are the woman of my dreams. I love you. Then we made passionate
love all night long.
The mistress : Me too. The other night I met my lover at his office and I
was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over
my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he
started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story : When my husband came home, I was
wearing the black bra. black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me, he said,
"What's for dinner, Batman?"
Well, I am off to bed my friends. Take great care of yourselves and those
you love. Enjoy your lives and have some fun every day. Love and best
wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 664 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 15th February, 2010.