Post 728 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 7th March, 2011.
Hello again my friends ~ ~ It is nice to be back with you again and
feeling so much better. I was so anxious about that little procedure
that it is such a relief for it to be all over and nothing bad found.
I hope all your lives are going well and health and happiness are
a big part of your lives. I would like to again say a big Thank You
to all those who sent such kind and generous comments.
I actually said to the Urologist afterwards, "I was sorry I chickened
out and asked for a general anesthetic." He said, "No worries,
there are no bravery awards handed out here."
My granddaughter Bec sent me some photos of our Christmas trip to
Gympie She is John's middle daughter, This is Peter, my brother, Me and
my son John who took me on the trip to Queensland, just before the floods.
Peter is holding a chair (not a hat).
This one is a bit older, Peter's first wife Jacqui, who was visiting, my son Geoff and
his wife Joanne and me. Geoff was the son who took me to hospital and brought me
home and stayed the first night with me. Believe it or not, the two nights he spent
here, I had the best sleeps for years. He came up after work, and stayed that night
so we had an early start. I didn't expect to get much sleep. Nice surprise.
The first joke tonight was sent from my blogging friend, Jim. Thanks, Jim.
Best ever Senior Citizen joke.
A little silver- haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over
here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure how to
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it;s finished?"
The little silver-haired lady says, " According to the picture on the box
it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have
a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh . . . . . . .
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
The next two are from my Canberra friend, Linda May. Thank you Linda.
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted. "I want to die in peace."
"I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother.
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one.
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered
our pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.
We phoned the local company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots
back into the house.
My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.
The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night so she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon. "He's
just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said
as we drove away. "She was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her
butt with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off,
so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to
keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt
downstairs and threw her into the back yard."
The cab driver hit a parked car.
<><> I had to laugh typing that one.Another from Linda. Thank you.
My Favorite Animal.
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said,
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right because
everyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always to be truthful and honest, and I am.
Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my Dad and he said my
teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do too. Especially, chicken, pork and beef. Anyway my teacher
set me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he
laughed too. Then told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite animal
was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd
asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken.
She sent back me to the principal's office. He laughed again, and then
told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me
to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now.....
<><> I also laughed typing this one. Thanks Linda.
Last item tonight ~~ Called JOIN THE CLUB.
Just a line to say I'm living,
That I'm not amongst the Dead,
Though I'm getting more forgetful.
And mixed up in my head.
I've got used to my Arthritis
To my Dentures I'm resigned.
I can cope with my bifocals,
But ye gods, I miss my mind.
Sometimes I can't remember
When I'm standing by the stair,
If I should be going up for something,
Or have I just come down from there?
And before the Fridge so often,
My mind is full of doubt,
Now did I put some food away?
Or did I come and take some out.
If it's not my turn to write Dear,
I hope you won't get sore.
I may think that I have written.
And don't want to be a bore.
So remember I do love you,
And wish that you lived near.
But now it's time to mail this,
And say Goodbye my Dear.
I stand beside the mail box,
And my face, it sure is red.
Instead of posting this to you,
I've opened it instead.
Well that is enough for tonight. And that poem is too true to be
funny. I often seem to post things that I have previously posted
So please be patient with me. Take great care of yourselves and
each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 728 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 7th March, 2011.