Sunday, August 12, 2012


Post   795  ~ ~ ~  Sunday,  12th  August. 2012.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ It is nice to be back with you all. I have been watching the Olympic Games and enjoying them all. with a good coverage of all sports. My favorites are those gymnasts with the ribbons , but also the Opals Basketball.  My daughter Kathy used to play that, so I know a little about it.  I hope you all have bee enjoying some of them also, The
closing ceremony is on tomorrow morning here at 6 am.  However, rather than get up at that hour I feel sure that it will be repeated later in the day. How about Michael Phelps???

I am doing well as far as my health goes.  I saw the doctor last week and have put on more weight, up to 56 kilos now, so I have reduced the Ensure back to one a day and see how that goes. The dietician wanted me to be about 55 as ideal,  Me too, so we are there now.
I do hope you are all well and enjoying your lives.

I do hope  my friends in the Phillipines are safe from the torrential rain and flooding there, and pray that things will soon be back to normal there. We are having nice weather here
with days about 16 or 17 C which is about 60 to 63 F. It is sad to see so many people that
have to evacuate their homes, which must be so awful. Hang in there People.

Well to get on with this post and to begin with Mountain Wings item  "Still Answers".

Still Answers ========

A young man had been to Wednesday night Bible study. The pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice. The young man couldn't help but wonder, "Does God still speak to people?" After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways.

 It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, "God, if you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey." As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, "God is that you?" He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, "buy a gallon of milk." The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli. "Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk."

It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home. As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, "Turn down that street." "This is crazy," he thought and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street. At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh. Half jokingly, he said out loud, "Okay, God I will." He drove several blocks when suddenly, he felt like he should stop.

He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed. Again, he sensed something, "Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street." The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

 "Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid." Again, he felt like he should go and give them the milk. Finally, he opened the door. "Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here." He walked across the street and rang the bell.

He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, "Who is it? What do you want?" Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and a t-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face, and he didn't seem too happy to have a stranger standing on his doorstep. "What is it?" The young man thrust out the gallon of milk. "Here I brought this to you." The man took the milk and rushed down the hallway, speaking loudly in Spanish.

Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face. The man began speaking and half-crying, "We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk." His wife in the kitchen yelled out, "I asked him to send an Angel with some milk. Are you an Angel?"

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put it in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face. He knew that God still answers prayers.

Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" Author Unknown.

Tonight's post should be called Jeanettes and Merle's post as there are 3 item from her.
Thank you Jan for 'Lawyer Story', 'Talking Dog for Sale'  and 'Sex in Your 70 s '

  Lawyer story 
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside, eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.  "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house, and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man, he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But, sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer andsaid, "Sir, you are too kind.  Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.  You'll really love my place.The grass is almost a foot high."

Come on now... you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story...
           Talking Dog For Sale. 

 A guy is driving around outback of NSW and he sees a sign in front of a run down old farm house:
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.  

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.  
'You talk?' he asks.  
'Yep,' the Lab replies.  
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says
 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says,  

'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told ASIO. In no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. 

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'  
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.  

'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'  
'Because he's a bloody liar. He's never been out of the yard.'
 Sex in your 70 s.
 A man and woman, both in their 70s, walk into a sex therapist's office. 
 The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

 The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' 
 The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agrees. 

 When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' 

 He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye. 
A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.

 The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row.  
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leaves. 

  Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

 The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married so we can't go to her house. I'm married so we can't go to my house.  

The Holiday Inn charges £98. The Hilton charges £139. We do it here for £50 and I get £43 back from BUPA.'
One from my friend  Lady Di called 'Southern Home Security'.  Thank you Dianne.

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 -16 men's work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine 
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads .......

 Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all theblood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Be right back.  - Cooter
One from Warren called "The Origin of Olympics."
Thought you might be interested in this.

A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but
As yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece.

In those days believe it or not the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink
Containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked
Magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed:  "OH!!  Limp Pricks!"

Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into "Olympics".

This should make you smile every time you hear the word "Olympics"!!!

Last one for this post from my friend Gina. Thanks Gina for the "Irish Blonde Joke." 
Irish Blonde

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... but all men...are men!

Global Facts About = Sex
At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.

You hang in there, 
sunshine.  (Thanks Gina)

Bye for now folks until next week.  Look after yourselves and each other and find something beautiful in every day.  Love and Best wishes to you all.  Cheers, Merle.

Post  795  ~ ~ ~ Sunday,  12th  August,  2012.


Granny Annie said...

It is good to keep getting good health reports from you!

Don't know what's funnier -- the couple in the doctor's office or the Irish blonde.

Dave said...

Excellent post as always Merle... and SO glad you're feeling better! *Smile*

Winifred said...

Like you I've been watching the Olympics Merle & have to say Saturday nights are never going to be the same again. What excitement. I did love the dancing horses in the dressage too & the rowing & the sailing & the tennis & the gymnastics. Roll on the Paralympics!

audrey` said...

Very good! You had put on some weight, Merle.

We loved watching The Olympics too :)