Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Dad Talks With Junior.

Hello Friends ~~ Well the shopping trip was successful,

and I didn’t forget anything !! However there were a few

things that I could not get, so will have to call on my son

for help there. But there is no hurry though.

I have selected a poem called “Dad Talks with Junior.”

If you can drive your car, when all about you

The surging traffic hems and hampers you,

And trust yourself when Dad and Mother doubt you,

Yet make allowance for that doubting too.

If you can curb the urge to “make it faster,”

If you can drive and not make speed your aim,

If you can keep your temper when disaster

Is barely missed – with someone else to blame;

If you can stand to hear the horns a’ blowing,

Yet give a fellow turning right a break,

If you can bear to see the traffic flowing

And wait, and wait, and wait, for safety’s sake;

If you can drive in crowds and not be frantic,

And dodge the careless walkers all the while,

If, meeting with a crazy driver antic

You keep your driving poise, and still can smile;

If you can fill each dangerous highway minute

With sixty seconds’ cautious driving done,

Then here’s the car and all the petrol in it ---

Here are the keys –- good luck to you, my son.


Now for some jokes - - - - Seven reasons not to mess with Kids.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human

because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The

little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher

reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were

drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got

to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will

in a minute."


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and

six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy

Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our

brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,

"Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the

kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white

hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs

white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong

and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how

come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade

them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look

at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's

Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the

matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know,

would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the

ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for

lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and

posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of

chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


A few quotes - - - -

A light supper, a good night’s sleep, and a fine morning have

sometimes made a hero of the same man who, by indigestion,

a restless night and a rainy morning, would have proved a

coward. - - - Lord Chesterfield.

Don’t find fault. Find a remedy. - - - Henry Ford.

Those with a lively sense of curiosity learn something new

every day of their lives. - - - Anonymous.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up.

- - - Mark Twain.

The difficulties of life are meant to make us better, not

bitter. - - - Anonymous.

Do what is easy as if it were difficult, and what is difficult

as if it were easy. - - - Baltasar Gracian. Spanish writer.

Always live your life with one more dream to fulfil. No matter

how many of your dreams you have realised in the past, always

have a dream to go. Because when you stop dreaming, life

becomes a mundane existence. - - - Sara Henderson.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to

fish and you feed him for a lifetime. - - - Chinese proverb.

Well that is it for tonight. Take care Friends, Merle.

Post 31.



LittleJen said...

Good jokes Merle, kids jokes are so cute and innocent still chuckling here at them...lol

Peter said...

Hi Merle, A good poem, taken from "And you'll be a man my Son"

Margaret said...

Loved the poem Merle, also the kids jokes are very funny,particularly the whale. I usually write my shopping list out then walk up to the shops having left it on my table.Then I have to wing it. Take care Margaret

Bec said...

hey grandma. stupid Coles, never have all that you want! hahahaha
good to hear your well.
its getting hot up here!
cheers Bec

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

Good jokes, as always- and I especially enjoyed the poem!

...about shopping...If I don't walk over every inch of space in the store I will FORGET something!


Joy Des Jardins said...

Glad your shopping day was a success. I always forget to get some things and have to go back another day...even with my lists.

Loved the children's jokes Merle...always one of my favorites.

I'm almost ready to go to CA for Jory's wedding. All packed but for just a couple of things. Hope the weather is good for us to fly out. We had a pretty bad storm last night....hail and all. Winds and rain caused a lot of damage and flooding in the area. My son is an emergency dispatcher for one of the local police stations here...he called to see if things were okay by me. Needless to say, he was very busy last night. The weather has been strange to say the least...lots of stormy days. I hope CA weather is warm and beautiful...perfect for a wedding on a hilltop.

Take care sweet Merle....stay well and wonderful... -Joy -xo-

Sue said...

Since Joy commented before me I will tell her that the CA weather is indeed beautiful at this time of year (at least in my part of the state)
Loved your jokes as usual Merle, especially the Catholic schoolyard. I'll send that to my daughter.

HORIZON said...

lol at the note on the choc chip cookies!
Went to Rothesay with my husband and sam today- G had work there and so Sam and l hit the beach.
Hope you are keeping well Merle and am glad you got most of your shopping in. :)

PEA said...

Dear Merle...great post once again! I loved the seven reasons not to mess with kids...too precious!!! lol Glad to hear your shopping went well and hopefully your son can get you what you couldn't get. Take care!! Hugs!

Pamela said...

Merle, glad you were able to get your shopping done. Loved all the cute little quips about children, they do come up with the cutest little thoughts! Caught myself giggling under my breath the whole time...too many cute ones to pick a favorite but I did like Jonah and the Whale...sheesh! lol

Ky Boo Gal said...

Great Post as always!!
Maybe I need to read up with Sara I love every quote so far, does she have a book?

somershade said...

I'll take a dream to go please.
Love it all.I told hubby the Jonah
joke.He laughed.
Always good reading found here,thanks.

Jim said...

Thanks for those Merle. Some go back a long ways and others were new to me. It's nice to read both kinds.
On the shopping, maybe if you couldn't find it then you didn't need it?

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

I always enjoy my grocery shopping trips =)
Take care, my friend Merle.

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle.
Im a bit slow catching up, Iwas out most of the day and was very tired and my back was aching so went to bed early last night.
Glad you got all your shopping done.Liked the poem and the kids jokes and i like Mark Twain and Henry Ford. Take Care keep smiling. Jan