Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Hard Knocks.

Post 60 - - - Tuesday, 7 th November, 2006.

Hello again everyone ~ I hope all is well with you and your families. All Ok here, where it as been a nice day with a

fairly strong breeze. I sat out in the gazebo for while

with a friend this afternoon. I didn’t even listen to the

Melbourne Cup, but have seen it since on the news. We had

the usual Cup Sweep and I had 2 horses that are probably

still running. Because I barrack for Carlton Blues and like

Delta Goodrem the singer, I chose the horse that won the

darn race. Delta Blues. I did not know anything about the

horses or that he was from Japan.. They had the winner

and the runner up this year so the Melbourne Cup goes to

Japan for the first time. Probably not the last time !!

The Edgar A Guest poems seem to be well received so I have

another for you called “Hard Knocks.”

I’m not the man to say that failure’s sweet,

Nor tell a chap to laugh when things go wrong ;

I know it hurts to take defeat

An’ no one likes to lose before a throng ;

It isn’t very pleasant not to win

When you have done the very best you could ;

But if you’re down, get up an’ buckle in---

A lickin’ often does a fellow good.

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I’ve seen some chaps who never knew their power

Until somebody knocked ‘em to the floor ;

I’ve known men who discovered in an hour

A courage they had never shown before.

I’ve seen ‘em rise from failure to the top

By doin’ things they hadn’t understood.

Before the day disaster made ‘em drop---

A lickin’ often does a fellow good.

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Success is not the teacher, wise an’ true,

That gruff old failure is, remember that ;

She’s much too apt to make a fool of you,

Which isn’t true of blows that knock you flat.

Hard knocks are painful things an’ hard to bear,

An’ most of us would dodge ‘em if we could ;

There’s something mighty broadening in care---

A lickin’ often does a fellow good.

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For those of you who enjoy words. I just love these

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft; and, I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt, if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He would often have to break into song; because, he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye !!!

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

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Floating in Air at the Bar.

Two men sit at a bar. The first one just slowly sips his drink

studying the other man at the far end of the bar, Finally the first man makes up his mind, and walks up to the second man.

He sits back down and continues nursing his drink and the second man thinks nothing of it. After a while the first man speaks up.

“This place is great, isn’t it?” he asks. The second man, surprised, replies, “Why do you say that?” The first man, in a low voice responds, “ Follow me,” and the second man follows. They stop at the large window at one end of the room.

“Here’s why,” The first man throws open the window and boldly steps out into – nothing, but he remains aloft. “The air currents

are great here !” he exclaims. It’s very relaxing.” As his feet return to the bar room floor, he invites the second man to try it

The second man looks over the windowsill – down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above to see if anything was holding the first man up.

Convinced there was no trickery, the second man closes his eyes and steps out into – nothing. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.

The first man with a slight grin on his face, gets his drink, returns to his original spot at the bar and starts sipping again.

Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.

“You know,” he says, disgusted. “You’re a real jerk when you are drunk, Mr. Kent. “

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Collecting Snails for Dinner Party.

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some

important guests. The wife was very excited and wanted everythng to be perfect. At the last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket to gather some snails. Finally, he agreed. He took the bucket and walked down to the beach. As he was collecting snails, he noticed a

beautiful woman further down the beach. He kept thinking to

himself, “Wouldn’t it be great if she would come down and talk to me?” He went back to collecting snails, and suddenly he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing right over him.

They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o’clock next morning he woke and exclaimed, “Oh no !!! My wife’s dinner

party !!” He grabbed his clothes and dressed hurriedly, grabbed his bucket and ran out the door. He ran all the way home and up the stairs to his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the the stairs.

The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the doorway wondering where he has been all this time.

He looked at the snails down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we’re almost there.”

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Even if you are on the right track ---

you’ll get run over if you just sit there. - - Arthur Godfrey.

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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. - - - Mark Twain.

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It is better to be the widow of a hero than the wife of a coward. - - - Dolores Ibarrurl.

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The best way to make children good is to make them happy.

- - - Oscar Wilde.

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That’s it for tonight Folks. Take care, Merle.

Post 60. - - - - Tuesday, 7 November 2006

11 comments:

The Ramblin Irishman said...

Merle I love your blog. I don't comment every time because sometimes I have no time left but I do read them.

JunieRose2005 said...

:)

Merle,

I just LOVED the word thing!!!

Junie

Sue said...

Hi Merle,
Loved the word play and we laughed and laughed over the snail collecting. I sent that one to my brothers!!
((hugs))

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle...that snail story has got to be the funniest thing I've ever heard!!! lol Will be forwarding that one to everyone I know:-) Loved the word play too!! My favourite quote is the one by Oscar Wilde...may all our children be forever happy:-) I made my meatpies today so it's the beginning of my Christmas preparations...they freeze so well, that's well I can make them early! Take care dear friend xoxo

Tammy said...

Hubby was reading this with me and he loved #17...saying you got that right...hehe!!
:-D

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I thought about you while watching the CMA Awards on TV last night. I wondered... do you guys get to see those downunder? ~ jb///

Pamela said...

Merle, my goodness, I hope you had some money on the winner! :)

Just wonderful! I just get such a kick out of all your jokes. Loved the play on words most of all. So very clever! The snail joke was very cute! Thanks so much! Enjoy your day! :)

mreddie said...

Sitting in the gazebo with a friend sounds like a very relaxing time - and well spent. ec

LittleJen said...

Hey Merle, Loved the quotes as per normal.. how true

UKBob said...

That was good, I like the word thingy best. I hope you get to sit in the gazebo again today, it sounds nice. Take care.

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
Great post. Thats a novel way to pick a horse hope u had a small bet on it. loved your words and laghed at the snails good quotes also. Take care, Jan