The Sorry Hostess.

Post 59 - - - Monday, 6 November 2006.

Hello my friends ~ I hope you have had a good start to the week. A nice day here and I got busy and pulled out my

broad bean plants as they were done. They have been great

and I have quite a few to shell tonight. That was not a very

easy task for me, so have not done much else. I hope to get

some French beans and Butter beans planted in that spot.

I have selected another Edgar A Guest story about

“The Sorry Hostess.” Hope you like it as much as I did.

She said she was sorry the weather was bad

The night that she asked us to dine;

And she really appeared inexpressibly sad

Because she had hoped ‘twould be fine.

She was sorry to hear that my wife had a cold,

And she almost shed tears over that.

And how sorry she was, she most feelingly told,

That the steam wasn’t on in the flat.

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She was sorry she hadn’t asked others to come,

She might just as well have had eight;

She said she was downcast and terribly glum

Because her dear husband was late.

She apologised then for the home she was in,

For the state of the rugs and the chairs,

For the children who made such a terrible din,

And then for the squeak in the stairs.

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When the dinner began she apologised twice

For the olives because they were small;

She was certain the celery, too, wasn’t nice,

And the soup didn’t suit her at all.

She was sorry she couldn’t get whitefish instead

Of the trout that the fishmonger sent,

But she hoped that we’d manage somehow to be fed,

Though her dinner was not what she meant.

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She spoke her regrets for the salad, and then

Explained she was really much hurt,

And begged both our pardons again and again

For serving a skimpy dessert.

She was sorry for this and sorry for that,

Though there really was nothing to blame.

But I thought to myself as I put on my hat,

Perhaps she is sorry we came.

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This lady never heard of counting her blessings.

And I doubt her guests will come again.

My dear friend Robyn sent me the next item

which we will call jokes. Thank you Robyn.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence. At age 35 success is . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants. Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh. Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Have a wonderful day with many *smiles* Take the time to live!!! Life is too short. Dance naked

AOCCDRNG to rseearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny

iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer be at te rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sittl raed it wouthit

porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the word as a wlohe,

Pettry amzanig, huh ? And not easy to type either!!

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Because this is so long, sorry Mike, I will go to quotes next - - -

Write in your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at

midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from

yesterday. - - - John Wayne. 1907 – 1079.

Start treating yourself as if you are the most important asset

you’ll ever have. After all, aren’t you ? - - - Anonymous.

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

- - - Franz Kafka.

Bye for now folks, Take care and be happy. Merle.

Post 59 - - - - - Monday, 6 November 2006.