Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Touch of Love.

Post 68 - - - - - - Thursday, 16 November 2006.

Hello Everyone ~ I hope all is well in your part of our world as we come to the end of another week. They go by, too darn quickly, but there is not much we can do about that. It has been another cool and windy day here, the weather is very strange these days.

Well I went to my Doctor appointment and was about 10 minutes early, in contrast to my earlier appointment. The Doctor was also early, so I got back some of my lost time. All the blood tests etc were very good so I don’t go back until February. He was surprised I have this blog, but thought it was a good idea. Hi Alan !!

Tomorrow is Meow’s birthday. I hope you have a lovely day Meow. Pop over and wish her a Happy Birthday.

Tonight I have chosen a verse called “The Touch of Love” which I hope you will enjoy.

I met a man today. His face was hard and lined, His body scarred with many years of toil. Rough were his words, and rough his voice. His hair was coarse and grey. I saw his hands ---thick, hard and gnarled Like withered bark stripped from a knotted tree. No gentleness I saw; and in my heart I tried to picture how his heart would be. “As hard as steel,” I mused, “And twice as cold.”

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But as I watched him work And heard him curse and swear at all who came his way, A tiny kitten fell from somewhere near : A soft white thing, that almost could Have toppled from a cloud just floating by. I watched to see him kick it from his feet With more abuse, that such a tiny thing Should dare to hinder him. But no - - - He stopped, and stooped. More gently than a child he held it In those great thick clumsy hands. His face had changed. His eyes were soft. I turned away, content to know That though the world seems hard and cruel, It’s love alone that triumphs at the last.

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The next item, a joke, I received from my friend Kerri from New York Thanks Kerri.

By yumpin' yiminy

Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Duluth. They head to the
bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere."
says Sven.

(Budgies are commonly referred to as parakeets but the word parakeet
actually describes any small parrot-like bird with a long tail.)

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the
birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top

of some big cliffs near Two Harbors.

At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks
like a grand place."

He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps
off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing
himself dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and

says, "By yumpin' yiminy, dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."


VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!

Moments later Knute who's been to the pet shop too, arrives at the cliffs.

He walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag and a
shotgun. "Hey, Ole. Vatch dis." Knute says. He takes a parrot from the

bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff.

Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the gun, shoots the parrot,

and continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.

Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting
either."


BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE, you betcha!!

Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears.
He's also been to the pet shop, is carrying a paper bag, and pulls out a
chicken.

Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over his head, and hurls
himself off the cliff and disappears down and down and hits a rock and
lays there lifeless.

Once more Ole shakes his head....

"First der was Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute parrotshooting
and now Lars hengliding....."

Grroooannnnn......

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Did you hear about the Australian who thought that aperitif was a set of dentures ?

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Children’s science exam answers - - -

Q : Name the four seasons.

A : Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q : How can you delay milk turning sour ?

A : Keep it in the cow.

Q : What are steroids ?

A : Things for keeping carpets still on stairs.

Q : What happens to your body as you age ?

A : When you get old, so do your bowels and you get

intercontinental.

Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?

A : He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his

adultery.

Q : Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A : Premature death.

Q : What is a fibula ?

A : A small lie.

<><><><> More sayings from court - - -

Q : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check

for pulse ?

A : No.

Q : Did you check for blood pressure ?

A : No.

Q : Did you check for breathing ?

A : No.

Q : So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy ?

A : No.

Q : How can you be so sure, Doctor ?

A : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q : But could the patient have still been alive neverthe less ?

A : Yes, it is possile that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere !!

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Q : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people ?

A.: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent your attorney ?

A : No, this is how I always dress for work.

Q : Can you describe the individual ?

A : He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q : Was this a male or female ?

Q : How was your first marriage terminated ?

A : By death.

Q : And by whose death was it terminated ?

Q : She had three children, right ?

A : Yes.

Q : How many were boys ?

A : None.

Q : Were there any girls ?

Q : You said the stairs went down to the basement ?

A : Yes.

Q : And these stairs, did they go up also ?

<><><><><> Just a couple of quotes - - - -

Snow endures but for a season,

and Joy comes with the morning. - - -Marcus Aurelius.

It is only through the eyes of someone we love that we see

who we really are.

Eat an apple on going to bed and you’ll keep the doctor from earning his bread.

That’s it for tonight, Take care and be Happy. Merle.

Post 68 Thursday, 16 November 2006.

13 comments:

Peter said...

A good autopsy joke Merle.

Tammy said...

Ohhhhhhh, Merle, Merle, Merle...that joke...Yumpin' Yiminy!!
Oh me...I laughed at every juncture...and you would say there was more...oh my!!
Thanks so much friend, you always bring a smile, if not an outright belly laugh!!
:-D

JunieRose2005 said...

:) I liked that "Yumpin' Yiminy" too!

It was all fun! Thanks! I needed some cheerin' up today!

June

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ How FUNNY (and coincidental) ... I just returned from my doctor this morning too. I was there for my yearly physical. She told me that, "I was in GREAT SHAPE!" ... but then she added "FOR YOUR AGE!" I was feeling really good until she added that small foot note! Oh well... it could have been much worse! Cheers! ~ jb///

rhapsody said...

Thanks Merle,

They're all funny- love the guys from the pet shop best:)

Have a great weekend!

Meow said...

Thanks for your birthday wishes, and link, Merle. Muchly appreciated.
Have a great weekend.
Take care, hugs, Meow

Lucy Stern said...

Hi Merle, Long time no see. The first peom tells us not to judge a book by it's cover. Love always wins out.... Glad your tests come back good. Have a good weekend.

Sue said...

We loved the Yumpin Yuminy joke!
Too too funny!!
Glad all went well at the Dr. dear Merle..
((hugs))

PEA said...

Hello Merle...you are so right, the days and weeks are just going by so fast!! Seems we just had Friday! lol Oh my, I laughed so much at the yumpin' yiminy story and I loved the "Touch of Love" verse...very touching! Take care dear friend xoxo

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle.

I've just read your last two posts and laughed and cried throughout both! But vait, dere's more!!! lol. I loved that - that's when I laughed. The big tough bloke with the kitten - that's when I cried.

You're right, the weeks are going to fast. I'm getting traumatic, pre-Christmas stress disorder! Too much to do and so little time. It doesn't help that it's my mother's birthday on 15 December, and I just cannot think of anything to get her. Any ideas??

Pamela said...

Budgie jumping, knute parrotshooting
and hengliding wow, it meth my mouth feel tunth thied! lol

Glad you blood test came back good! Glad to hear you Doctor was impressed you blog. Did you tell him what your subscription fee was...lol Enjoy your day Merle, as always you sure brighten mine! :)

Kerri said...

I'm glad all went well at the Dr. Merle and that you arrived at the right time :)
Yumpin Yimini makes me laugh every time I read it. Glad you posted it.
I love the autopsy joke and the old man with the kitty. Tammy's cab ride is a wonderful story and brought tears to my eyes. I've always loved the 'One Solitary Life' story.
Thanks for sharing and brightening my day Merle. Hope you have a good one!

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

Yes!
I agree with you.
A little love makes a big difference =)

God is love.