Why Murphy's Not at Work Today.

Post 71 - - - - Sunday, 19 November 2006.

Hello Everyone, I hope you are all having a good weekend.

I enjoyed the trip to the Craft Market with John, and bought a few
bits and pieces, a few Christmas gifts and as usual with me, some
more vegetables.
Also, I bought some cherries for $7.00 a kilo, they are at least
doublethat in the shops. I got more than I wanted, intending to
give some to John, but forgot. So If you read this John,
please come and get some cherries. Locally grown and very nice.
I read that they are good for gout, which I have, but my son said
he didn’t. Lucky for him as it is very painful as I guess some of you
know.
I also bought 2 recipe books, as I enjoy trying new recipes.

It has got quite warm here ~ 33 C, about 90 F and it is going to be
much hotter tomorrow.
I am early today as it is only 5 pm and I usually do this after my
night meal.

I heard a song on the radio earlier and have googled the lyrics for
you. No doubt you will have heard it before.

It was written by Irish singer and song-writer – Pat Cooksey

I hope you enjoy it and forgive the few b****y words.

and is called “Why Murphy’s Not at Work Today.”


Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today.

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor,some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today.


I guess we cannot claim that that is inspirational,
so I will do a small story to fill that need.


It is called “The Joy Of Children.”

If I were asked what element is most important in a child’s life,
I would say the element of beauty.

Children crave it, they accept it with ecstasy, but they cannot
always create it or even find it’s whereabouts.

They must be taught to discover beauty in nature, in art, in music
and books, in noble human beings, living or dead, in the
loyalties of friendship and family, in the love of country and of God.

Without the perception of beauty the wings never spread, the mind
lives in shadow, and the heart fails.


<><><><><> Joke time - - -

My son has gone off to college, and since he has never been away
from home before, I sent him this little note to keep up his spirits,
and let him know he’s missed.

Dear Son –
Well it’s been a week since you’ve gone off to school, and like many
conscientious teenagers, I’m sure you’re wondering how we are
getting along without you, and how we’ve had to handle the division
of labor now you’re no longer available to do your chores.
Well fret no longer, although the physical strain on me is not
insubstantial, I’ve found a way to take on all of those household
chores with which you have graciously been willing to do for us.
To give an example, let me review my week for you.

Monday – Slept late. Opened a new container of juice, left the safety
seal on the counter. Then turned the TV on and left for work. Later
opened a new package of Oreo cookies and took all but 6 to nibble
on while I went driving around aimlessly with some slightly stoned
friends.

Tuesday – Slept late. Ate the last of the Oreo cookies, and carefully
put the empty container back in the snack drawer.
Parked my car across the driveway to make it difficult for anyone
else to get into the garage. Washed a load of my own clothes and
three towels, leaving the rest of the laundry on the floor.

Wednesday – Slept late. Drank all but a quarter ounce of the orange
juice I opened the other day, and put the almost empty container
back in the fridge. The phone rang, so I took an important message
for myself, purposely mis-spelling the name of the caller and only
writing down the last 4 digits of the phone number. That evening I
waited until somebody ran the dishwasher, then put dishes from
Monday that I had been hiding in my room into the sink.

Thursday – Slept late. Purposely neglected to wheel the trash bin
out to the curb so that I could get some exercise by dashing out
there early Friday morning. Let the hot water run for 20 or 30
minutes to heat up the bathroom for my shower. Opened all the
windows and turned on the air conditioner before leaving for work.

Friday – Slept late. Took a 45 minute shower, then left the wet
towels in various rooms in the house. Waited until the sink was
clean, then put some dishes that I had been saving for a few days
on the counter. Later that night, arranged to have some drunk
friend call up at 1.30 in the morning, crying about something
incoherent.

Saturday.- Slept late. Purposely dawdled all morning, timing
everything so that it started raining as soon as I got the lawn-
mower out of the garage. Went back inside, leaving the lawnmower
out in the rain. Played the stereo loud enough to drown out the
noise of the telephone. Opened a can of soda, took a few sips,
then put it back in the fridge.

Sunday – Slept late. Spent most of the rest of the day
complaining of boredom.

So you see there’s nothing to worry about. I plan to diligently
keep up to date on your chores for as long as necessary. Please,
if you see that there is anything that I may have neglected, be
sure to let me know.

Hope you are doing just fine at school. Dad.

<><><><>

A few years ago in December we were delivering holiday goodies to
some neighbors during a blizzard. When we arrived at the home of
two sisters well into their nineties, we were surprised to see them
pulling their car out of the garage. We asked where they were going
in such a storm and they seriously responded,
“We’re going to visit the elderly.”

<><><><>

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other
fellow has and wish you had ordered that.

When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a
ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an “ad” in the classifieds. : “Wife wanted” Next day
he received 100 letters all saying the same thing : “You can have mine.”

A young woman went to the doctor complaining of pain.
“Where are you hurting ?” asked the doctor.
“You have to help me, I hurt all over,” said the woman.
“What do you mean, all over ? asked the doctor, be a
little more specific.”
The woman touched her knee with her index finger and
yelled, “Ow, that hurts.”
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch.
That hurts too.” Then she touch her right earlobe, “Ow, even
THAT hurts,” she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his
diagnosis, “You have a broken finger.”


Some funny quotes - -

“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”
- - - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles. 1962.

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come
to yours. - - Yogi Berra, baseball catcher, manager.

Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand
- - Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents. 1899.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
is beer. Oh, I grant that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--- Dave Barry.


A few nicer quotes - - -

A clever person turns great problems into little ones and little ones
into none at all. - - - Chinese on attitude.

A chain is no stronger than it’s weakest link._
Sir Leslie Stephen 1832-1904.

A crust in comfort is better than a feast in fear, - Aesop.

A day is lost if one has not laughed. –French

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.- Latin proverb.


Well, that is enough, Take care and enjoy what is left of the
weekend and look after each other. Cheers, Merle.

Post 71 - - - - Sunday, 19 November 2006.