Monday, December 11, 2006

Christmas Crown Royal Cookies.

Post 89 - - - - - Sunday, 10 December 2006.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well with you and your

loved ones. I hope you are managing to keep warm

or cool depending where you are. Today was really

hot here, and I had the power blacked out most of

the afternoon, so that was not fun !! Nothing to what

those brave, wonderful fire fighters are going through.

Most of them are unpaid volunteers.

My friend Meow put a map on her blog showing where

they are. Thankfully there has been no loss of life and

I pray that remains so. There is talk they may burn

until Christmas or longer. There must be enormous loss

of wildlife, which is so sad.

Tonight’s item came from our friend Tammy and is a bit

of fun for this “silly season” of rush and bustle and

baking etc. The title tricked me, as I thought “Oh, good

another recipe. See for yourself !!!

Christmas Crown Royal Cookies

1 cup water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts

2 cups dried fruit

1 bottle Crown Royal

~Sample the Crown Royal to check quality~

~Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

~Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

~Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

~At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup...just in case.

~Turn of the mixer thingy.

~Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

~Pick the friggin fruit off floor...

~Mix on the turner.

~If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

~Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity.

~Next, sift two cups of salt, or something...

who giveshz a sheet.

~Check the Crown Royal.

~Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

~Add one table.

~Add a spoon of ar, or somefink...whatever you can find.

~Greash the oven.

~Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

~Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

~Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.

~Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas~!!!


Now to find some other jokes - - -

Well hidden blonde.

There was a blonde, a redhead and a brunette.

They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake

id s, because they were underage.

So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage

so he called the cops.

The redhead informs the girls that the cops have been

called and they have to leave.

So they go out the back door and they see this barn.

They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on

the floor.

So she tells the girls to each hide in a sack.

Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes

them out the back to look around.

They go into the barn and look everywhere.

One cop says “They might be in those sacks.”

So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears

“woof woof”. “That’s a dog”, he thinks to himself.

He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears

“Meow, meow” “Well that must be a cat” he thinks.

Finally he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice, “…es !! ”


Getting Into Heaven.

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the

Pearly Gates and says, “ Here’s how it works. You need 100

points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things

you’ve done, and I will give you a certain number of points

for each item, depending on how good it was.

When you reach 100 points, you get in.”

“Okay, “ said the man, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.

“That’s wonderful,“ says St. Peter, that’s worth 3 points.

“Three points ?” he said. “Well I attended church all my life

and supported it’s ministry with my tithe and service.”

“Terrific l!” says St. Peter, “That’s certainly worth a point.”

“One point ?!!” “I started a soup kitchen in my city and

worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.”

“Fantastic, that’s good for one more point.” he says.

“One point !!!?” Exasperated, the man cries. “At this rate the

only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God.”

“Bingo, 100 points ! Come on in !!”


A man went to the store with his 3 year old daughter in tow.

Since he was just there to grab some essentials like milk and bread, he opted to save time by not pushing a cart around the store. “That’s not the way Mommy does it,” his daughter informed him.

“I know dear, but Daddy’s way is OK too” he replied.

Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk quickly to the car.

Not wanting to set anything down on the wet ground, he set the milk on top of the car, efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free hand, scooted the groceries in and set

his daughter into the car seat in one swift motion. Then he hopped in.

“That’s not the way Mommy does it,” his daughter informed him again.

“Honey, there’s more than one way to do things,” he replied patiently. “Daddy’s way is OK too.”

As they pulled out and headed down the street, he became aware of a scraping sound on the roof as the jug of milk slid

down the length of the rooftop, bounced off the trunk of the car and splattered to the ground, sending a froth of white milk

in every direction.

In the millisecond he took to process his mistake, his young daughter looked at him, and in a most serious voice said,

“That’s NOT the way Mommy does it.”

<><><><> Just a few, quotes as I am tired tonight.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it

alive. - - - Elbert Hubbard.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening

when you’d have preferred to talk. - - - Doug. Larson.

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. - - - Henri Bergson.

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself. - - - Tom Wilson.

That’s it folks, my eyes do not want to stay open.

Take care and be kind to someone and you will both

feel better. Cheers, Merle.

Post 89 - - - - - Sunday, 10th December, 2006.



Cazz said...

Hi Merle,

Yes, my thoughts are with the fire fighters, they are definately a brave bunch of men & women, my hat goes off to them. The smoke here hasn;t been as bad as it looks at mums, but enough to set my smoke alarm off in the early hours of the morning.
We had no loss of power here in Mooroopna, but cant turn on the evap cooling, as it just draws and fills the house with smoke.
And I have to agree with you, how silly was it to have the Grand Opening of the "Market Place" with no opening of shops, "ONLY IN SHEPPARTON" .. lmao.. but we did go out, sat at the overlander, had a few drinks and watched the fireworks along with the rest of Shepparton !!!

Take care my friend, and I think I might try that recipe out, but gotta restock the "Brandy" after mums last visit!!!!


PEA said...

Hello Merle:-) My prayers are with all those firefighters...may they stay safe and manage to control all those terrible fires. I too got tricked with the Crown Royal Cookies recipe!! lol Loved all the jokes and quotes:-) I wrapped presents most of the day today...I'd forgotten what a job that is!! Take care my friend xoxo

mreddie said...

Those fire fighters deserve all the accolades we can give them. We are keeping warm here, despite several of the coldest days of the season. My MIL's power did go off but ours has remained constant. ec

Kila said...

My day just isn't complete anymore unless I visit you!

My favorite part today: “One point !!!?” Exasperated, the man cries. “At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God.”

“Bingo, 100 points ! Come on in !!”

Glad to hear you are safe from the fires. Praying for those involved.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

The way I feel tonight, if I were to follow that recipe I simply center on the Crown Royal and forget the rest.

Val said...

Ah, Merle, I've been away from Blogger Land for so long, but when I returned for a visit, you still manage to have the best jokes!

HORIZON said...

Dearest Merle- sorry to hear you power went out- that would have been very hot for you. Love the stories and jokes as usual- the royal cookies one sounds like me and hubby Christmas day-lol. Thank you for the update on Granny Ann (post below)- sad news indeed.
My prayers are that you all get some rain for these fires.
Much love

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
Thank You for your lovely comment on my garden. It sure was a hot one and the smoke has cleared. We lost power for about 2 hrs,once power was restored was able to run air con.
I think ill try that recipe, I sure would have a Cherry Mistmas.had a good laugh at the jokes
Thats Not the way mummy does it,
Take care Merle try and keep cool these hot days, Janxxxx