Wednesday, December 06, 2006

"Has Been" Once an "Are."

Post 85 - - - - - Tuesday, 5 December 2006.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope the week is going well for you.

All OK here, although I am late starting on this post so it

may not be too long. Did I hear sighs of relief ?? Nah !!

I have been keeping the water up to my new plants as we

are having quite a hot week – 33 degrees Celsius until

Friday and then we expect 36. on Saturday. What joy !!

Tonight’s little item is “Has Been” Once an “Are.”

I’d rather be a “could be”

If I could not be an “are,”

For a “could be” is a “may be”

With a chance of touching par.

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I’d rather be a “has been”

Than a “might have been” by far,

For a “might have been’s ”a failure:

“Has been” was once an “are.” Anonymous.

Now for some jokes - - Funny T Shirt Sayings - -

According to my wife, I’m very happy.

If you try to fail and succeed which have you done ?

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

Senior Citizen, Now give me my discount.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.

I’m not a complete idiot, several parts are missing.

Learn from your parent’s mistakes, use birth control.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing your

privileges.

<><><> Some funny quotes - - -

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film

Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then

kill them.

Never argue with a fool,people may not know the difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no

one forgets.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the

chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

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A blonde’s classic recipe for roast beef :

1 large roast of beef

1 small roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.

When the little one burns, the big one is done.

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Voice from the back pew.

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the

preacher’s salary.

There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, saying

“Children are Gift from God.” Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, “Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.” And the congregation said “ Amen.”

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If you get the sudden urge to run around naked - - Drink some

Windex. It will keep you from streaking.

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“We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb

and clap as they go by.” - - - Will Rogers.

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“Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.”

- - - Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh.

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“Doctor, it’s been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.”

“Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?”

“I sure did, the bottle said ‘Keep tightly closed’. “

<><><> Just a few quotes - - -

The real art of conversation is not only saying the right thing at the right moment but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment. - - - Unknown.

The one who understands does not speak; the one who speaks

does not understand. - - - Chinese

The road to a friend’s house is never long. - - -Danish proverb.

The worst prison is a closed heart. - - - Pope John Paul 11

Enough for tonight. Take care my friends. Cheers, Merle.

Post 85 - - - - - Tuesday, 5th December, 2006.

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11 comments:

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
good jokes! seen the roast beef this morning paper
The road to a friends house is never long.
the weather sure warming up again.
Take care

The Ramblin Irishman said...

Merle, you are tooooooo funny. I loved the preacher joke. Someday I will have to learn the difference between cecius and farenhiet. (I think I spelled them right.) 36 degrees sounds kind of cool to me. Be good.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

“Has Been” Once an “Are” struck a note with me. Thanks.

Sue said...

I loved the joke about the preacher and the lady from the back of the church! I sent that one to my brother!
((hugs))

Granny said...

Catching up in the few minutes before the girls all pile in from school.

Thanks for the kind words. Nothing is worse but nothing so far is better.

We wait.

Meow said...

Hi Merle, hasn't the weather been wierd ... one day hot, one day cool. Yesterday stifling, today pleasant (It was actually quite cold this morning ... brrrr!). There has been a smoky haze everywhere, due to the fires in the high country and gippsland ... are you getting it too ??
Hope your week is going well.
Take care, Meow

mreddie said...

That is the secret with new plants, keeping the water on them, especially when the temp is so high. Once the roots are established it won't be so bad. ec

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle...it's 11:14 p.m. and I'm quite tired after a full day but I wanted to visit a few more blogs first:-) I don't like to get too much behind with everyones posts! I just love the tshirt sayings...that is just too funny. I always buy at least one tshirt for my son Corey every Christmas and it always has something to do with beer...this year I bought him one that reads..."Save on Water...Drink Beer" hehe Thank you so much for your email dear friend, it warmed my heart to read your words...thank you! Hope you're having a wonderful day!! xoxo

Ava said...

Hi Merle!

It's been a while! I'm back and trying to catch up with everyone.

Ava

Margaret said...

Hi Merle, have been on a catching up curve, I have been very busy this week.loved all of your post as usual. Sounds like your garden is doing well.
Love Margaret

audrey` said...

Yeah!
May the weather be kinder to our plants =)