"Has Been" Once an "Are."

Post 85 - - - - - Tuesday, 5 December 2006.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope the week is going well for you.

All OK here, although I am late starting on this post so it

may not be too long. Did I hear sighs of relief ?? Nah !!

I have been keeping the water up to my new plants as we

are having quite a hot week – 33 degrees Celsius until

Friday and then we expect 36. on Saturday. What joy !!

Tonight’s little item is “Has Been” Once an “Are.”

I’d rather be a “could be”

If I could not be an “are,”

For a “could be” is a “may be”

With a chance of touching par.

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I’d rather be a “has been”

Than a “might have been” by far,

For a “might have been’s ”a failure:

“Has been” was once an “are.” Anonymous.

Now for some jokes - - Funny T Shirt Sayings - -

According to my wife, I’m very happy.

If you try to fail and succeed which have you done ?

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

Senior Citizen, Now give me my discount.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.

I’m not a complete idiot, several parts are missing.

Learn from your parent’s mistakes, use birth control.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing your

privileges.

<><><> Some funny quotes - - -

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film

Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then

kill them.

Never argue with a fool,people may not know the difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no

one forgets.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the

chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

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A blonde’s classic recipe for roast beef :

1 large roast of beef

1 small roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.

When the little one burns, the big one is done.

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Voice from the back pew.

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the

preacher’s salary.

There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, saying

“Children are Gift from God.” Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, “Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.” And the congregation said “ Amen.”

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If you get the sudden urge to run around naked - - Drink some

Windex. It will keep you from streaking.

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“We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb

and clap as they go by.” - - - Will Rogers.

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“Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.”

- - - Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh.

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“Doctor, it’s been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.”

“Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?”

“I sure did, the bottle said ‘Keep tightly closed’. “

<><><> Just a few quotes - - -

The real art of conversation is not only saying the right thing at the right moment but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment. - - - Unknown.

The one who understands does not speak; the one who speaks

does not understand. - - - Chinese

The road to a friend’s house is never long. - - -Danish proverb.

The worst prison is a closed heart. - - - Pope John Paul 11

Enough for tonight. Take care my friends. Cheers, Merle.

Post 85 - - - - - Tuesday, 5^th December, 2006.

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