Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I Wonder.

Post 86 - - - - - Wednesday, 6 December 2006.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope you are all enjoying life and are fit

and well. I am fine, and as it was a bit cooler this morning, I

went out into the back garden and tied up my tomato plants

again. They are growing well and I have picked a few tomatos

and I also trained my passion fruit vine to stay on my side of the fence !! It has some fruit on it also, and my beans are

coming along nicely. I planted seeds, and my friend planted seedlings and now they are all about the same size.

I had planned to do my Christmas cards, but those little jobs needed doing. I have received seven cards so far, in the last

two days. One had a joke included, which I will post later,

First I have a verse called “I Wonder.”

I wonder if you love me,

Perhaps you really do,

Or maybe I’m a habit

You’ve grown accustomed to.

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I know you like my cooking,

The cakes and jams that jell,

The savouries and apple pie,

They really go quite well.

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You like your socks well mended

And your clothes that sometimes tear,

And you’re pleased when I go shopping

To buy you something new to wear.

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I wonder if you’re happy

With such a quiet life,

Or do you long for glamour girls

With hectic days and nights ?

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I know I am no orchid,

But I do stand wear and tear,

And you know you’re not so dashing

In a suit of underwear.

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So let’s make it fifty-fifty,

Although a habit I may be,

You had better think it over

And give your love to me !!

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The joke my friend sent with her Cristmas card - - -

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through

so he prayed, “Dear Lord; I go to work every day and put in 8

hours while my wife stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”

God in His infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next

morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids.

Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning and took it to the cleaners.

He stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping. Drove home to put away the groceries.

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 pm and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their

homework. Then he set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4.30 he began to peel the potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids and put them to bed. At 9 pm he was exhausted and though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay at home all day.

Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, “ My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

“ You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant

last night.”

Voted Women’s Favourite Email of the Year !!!

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It is well known that Indian civil rights leader Mahatma Gandhi

lived a frugal life.

He never wore shoes, eating only enough to survive, rarely cleaning his teeth.

All of this made him the original super calloused fragile mystic

with halitosis.

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Some new words for 2006 - - -

BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

TERDBIRD : A Sea Gull manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something

loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

SITCOMS : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage

What yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you ave made a BIG mistake. (Like hitting send on

an email by mistake.)

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A few quotes about children - - -

It takes a village to raise a child.

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency

they’re going to catch you in next.

I am fond of children – except boys.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.

There are two classes of travel – first class and with children.

<><><><> There are a few more of these, maybe tomorrow.

A few words of wisdom from a small book I have. - - -

The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular

reason for being happy except that they are so. – - W. R. Inge.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. – - - Robert Byrne.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- - - Eleanor Roosevelt.

Waste no more time arguing what a good man ahould be. Be one. - - - Marcus Aurelius.

Wisdom is oft-times nearer when we stoop than when we soar.

- - - William Wordsworth.

Bye for now my friends. Take great care, Cheers, Merle.

Post 86 - - - - - Wednesday, 6 December 2006

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16 comments:

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle
It always nice to pick and eat something out of your own garden.
Nice verse iI wonder.Good joke more men should have time in womens shoes. you got some new words there terdbird..

Margaret said...

Dear Merle I loved the poem and especially the trading places joke, all good as usual
Love Margaret

Gwen said...

Hi Merle... Thanks for the laugh but the I always get a laugh when I visit.Our shoes are pretty hard to fill,your garden sounds as though you will get a nice crop.
Pleased to hear you are well.xx

Peter said...

Hi Merle, good post again.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I always love a garden fresh tomato. Funny joke too! ~ jb///

Pamela said...

Merle, enjoyed the one with the man who wanted to change bodies with his wife...Oh, my gosh that was funny! :)

Your garden sounds lovely! Passion fruit is one of my favorite, what a treat to have it growing in your garden. Enjoy your cooler weather! :)

Kila said...

I love all your poems and jokes and words of wisdom!

Enjoy those tomatoes! Mmm, I can almost taste them!

Sue said...

Great post! Glad your garden is starting to produce..
I've seen that "women's best joke" but I still love it.
The new words for 2006 was fun. I especially like sitcom. In California, an oppressive mortgage is common!
:)

mreddie said...

Your garden is making me want spring to come to South Carolina!! To plant and watch them grow is always one of the highlights of my year - the produce is pretty good as well! :) ec

HORIZON said...

lol- too true on the -women's best joke' Merle. l was quite zonked last night so hubby sent me to bed with Sam-lol. Was glad he did and l slept well. Nice that you have some tomatoes already- they always taste so much better home-grown.
Keep well dear friend.
l have not been getting around as many people lately- rushing about for Christmas and kids. Will always pop in though when l can. xx

UKBob said...

Hi Merle, I like to hear about you doing stuff in your garden, it reminds me of the joys I have to look forward to in the new year. Watch those Christmas cards as Christmas is creeping up pretty fast now.

Tammy said...

I've been missing your posts dear Merle...
Love & Hugs!!
:-D

RUTH said...

What a fantastic post. Loads of laughs. Glad to hear the gardens doing well. Getting towards winter here and almost eaten all our green (now red: being picked and stuck in a drawer with a banana to ripen)tomatoes. So no more home grown ones for us till next years.

Puss-in-Boots said...

I've caught up on your posts once again, Merle. I've been pretty slack lately, but I think it's that time of year when we all run out of time.

I just adore homegrown veges, especially tomatoes. The shop bought ones have no taste at all from being picked green and then stored in a coolroom.

Have a wonderful weekend, Merle, and just think, soon all this madness will be over!

Hugs xoxox

Puss-in-Boots said...

I've caught up on your posts once again, Merle. I've been pretty slack lately, but I think it's that time of year when we all run out of time.

I just adore homegrown veges, especially tomatoes. The shop bought ones have no taste at all from being picked green and then stored in a coolroom.

Have a wonderful weekend, Merle, and just think, soon all this madness will be over!

Hugs xoxox

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

The joke on the man trading places with his wife for a day is so revealing and true.
HaHaHa!