Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Funeral and Fires.

Post 108 - - - - - Wednesday, 10 January, 2007.

Hi Everybody ~~ I hope you are all doing well and the weather is being kind to you.
We are expecting 40degrees Celsius tomorrow, which is about 102 degrees F, so it will be quite warm!! There are still quite a lot of fires burning in Victoria, some have been going for a month or more, in forest areas. We are very fortunate to have a contingent of fire fighters from Canada and another from New Zealand to help us and give our men and women a break. It is just great that folks from other countries will do this for us and I know our Aussies have helped others as well. We need some REAL Rain !!

My cousin Michelle rang tonight, to tell me about her sister's funeral
. All went well and there was a nice gathering. Only 2 other cousins were there, but she had two nieces and her brother-in-law there, as well as Sandra's husband and three children.
She said it was awfully hot and was glad that I didn't go all that way. Enough!!
You may notice that I haven't taken the oath like Peter and Kenju to give up on
apostrophes and puncuation marks -- I like them !!

Now to find something to post ~~~ another verse folks - -

I dreamt death came to me one night,
And Heaven's gates flew wide.
With kindly grace St. Peter came,
And ushered me inside.
There --- to my great astonishment ---
Were friends I'd known on earth;
Some I had labelled as unfit,
And some of little worth.
Indignant words flew to my lips,
Words I could not set free,
For every face showed stunned surprise - - -
No one expected me !!

<><><> Now for some jokes - - -

How do you decide who to marry? Answers by some kids.

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like is you like sports, she
should like that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

What is the right age to marry?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. Freddie 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

What do you think your Mom and Dad have in common?

Both don't want any more kids. Lori age 8.

What do most people do on a date?

Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other,
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette age 8.

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested
enough for a second date. Martin age 10.

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make
sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig age 9.

When is it OK to kiss Someone?

When they're rich. Pam age 7.

The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt age 7.

The rule goes like this; if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8.

Is it better to be married or single?

It's better to be single for girls, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up
after them. Anita age 9.

How would you make a marriage work ?

Tell your wife she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Ricky age 10.


Secrets of a Happy Marriage.

It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.

It is important to find a woman who makes good money.

It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex.

It is important that these three women never meet.


A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately the
locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found that his horse had been stolen.

He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head
without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness
No one answered.

"All right I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas. And I don't like to have to do what I done
in Texas."

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside and his horse is back !! He saddles up and starts to ride out of town.

The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go - - - what did happen in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."


A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a 10 ft fence. He was out next morning just roaming around the zoo. A 20 ft fence was put up. Again he got out.

When the fence was 40 ft high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night."


Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Well I think that is enough for tonight. Stay well and happy my friends. Merle.

Post 108 - - - - - Wednesday, 10 January, 2007.


Peter said...

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

Just love that one.
Glad to hear that Michelle is OK.

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle!! I'm so sorry that you weren't able to make it to the funeral but with the heat you've been having and all the travelling Geoff would have had to do, it was for the best. I'm glad you got to talk to Michelle though! My mom and Ross are doing really well at the moment and he's quite recovered from all the surgeries he's had lately!! We'll be going there for a buffet dinner on Saturday and mom has also invited a few of my cousins and their spouses so it should be fun:-) Loved your jokes again today, especially the one about how kids decide who to marry!! Too precious! Take care of yourself dear Merle and try to stay cool! Hugs xox

Susie said...

My that heat sounds uncomfortable!
Try to stay cool.
Loved your verse about heaven and the way people choose who to marry!
Take care Dear Merle!

Pamela said...

Merle, lol, just had blogger eat my comment. I have never had that happen! lol

Love the Cowboy with the stolen horse! Hilarious!

Glad your cousin's funeral went well. Those temps you all are having must be terribly uncomfortable, with pray for much needed rain. Enjoy your evening!

RUTH said...

I am sorry to hear you have had sad news; I know it must have been difficult for you not being able to go to the funeral. I wish I could send you some rain; we have plenty here in England at the moment. Maybe one day....cyber-rain!!!

Tonya said...

I LOVE the verse!

Glad to hear you are getting help over there with the fires and even more so glad to hear the Canadians are helping.. (yes I am canadian) I hope you get some real rain soon!

Hope you are able to keep cool tomorrow :)

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm sorry you couldn't make your cousin's funeral Merle...but, maybe in the fact of that horrible hot was the better choice. I don't know how you manage in that kind of heat...I'd be melting. I truly hope you all get some real good rain VERY SOON. Until then...stay as cool as possible dear friend...

Karen said...

Yikes, that is hot! It's not too bad here today, we're expecting some snow (YAY!) tonight and tomorrow. :-D :-D I bet you would like a little rain just to cool off. I'll see what I can do to send some down your way.

Kids are so funny; they amaze me with their infinite wisdom and views of life.

Your Q&A's cracked me up!! Thank you for the laughs.

Take care and have a great day. Love & hugs!

Leann said...

love your jokes and crack me up.the one in there that says."you dont deside you just wait and God does it then you find out who your stuck with" its the story of my life.I left you a comment on my blog.on "a rainbow is a sign of blessin."hope you say yes.Love you friend keep up the shared giggles we all love it.

Raggedy said...

Wow it is heating up there.
If we could just trade you give me a little heat and I'll send you some of our cold it would be perfect weather..tee hee
We are 20 degree F and -7 C
I am glad the funeral went well.

I like the !!!!!! also and won't stop using them..

My favorite of the kids jokes were:
It's better to be single for girls, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita age 9.
Tell your wife she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Ricky age 10.

Take care
Love, Raggedy

Jim said...

Those kid tales were the best!!

I'm sorry too that you couldn't go to your cousin's funeral. But given the heat the drive up there could have done you in.
I found that and I like it. Maybe it's wrong but I wouldn't know the difference.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I can see the New Zealanders helping... but Canada is a long ways away! Nice that you guys got the help though. ~ jb///