Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Sweet Poem to my Friends.

Post 158 - - - - - Tuesday, 6 th March, 2007.

Hello My Dear Friends ~~ I am home and well and glad to have that over with and to get on with my life. I want to thank everyone for their good wishes and concern. You folks are the very best and I appreciate every one of you. Thank you so very much.

I found a nice poem that says how I feel about my blogger freinds.

When I see each name download,
And view the message they've sent
I know they've thought of me that day,
And "well wishes" were their intent.

So to you, my friends, I would like to say
Thank you for being a part
Of my daily contacts,
This comes right from my heart.

God bless you is my prayer today
I'm honored to call you "friend"
I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
Until we write again.
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Men's Thesaurus.

IT'S A GUY THING---Translated : There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER---Translated : Why isn't it already on the table?

UH HUH, SURE HONEY, OR YES DEAR---Translated : Absolutely nothing. It's
a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN---Translated: I have no idea how it works.

TAKE A BREAK HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD---Translated: I can't
hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR---Translated: Are you still talking?

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS---Translated: I remember the theme
song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned . . .but I forgot your birthday.

OH, DON'T FUSS--I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT's NO BIG DEAL---Translated" I
have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR DOING WHAT I'M DOING---Translated:
And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.

I CAN'T FIND IT---Translated: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless.

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME ? ---Translated : What did you catch me at?

I HEARD YOU---Translated: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next
three days yelling at me.

YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE---Translated: I am used to
the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC---Translated: Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.

I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE---Translated: No one will
ever see us alive again.

WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK---Translated " I make the messes; she cleans them up.
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A blonde goes into to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asks ,"What's up?" The blonde replies: "Early this morning I got a phone call saying my mother
had died. The boss, feeling sorry for her says: "Why don't you go home for the day.
Relax and rest."

The blonde says: "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

Hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He finds her crying
hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be OK?" he asks.

"No !" exclaims the blonde. "I just received horrible news from my sister.
Her mother died, too."
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A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with
the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to
visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew
left was the one in the front row.

So as to not make a fool of himself, he decided to pick someone out of the crowd to
imitate. He chose to follow the man sitting next to him in the front pew. As they sang the man clapped his hands, so the missionary recruit clapped too. When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too. When the man sat down, he sat down.

When the man held the cup and bread for the Lord's Supper, he held the cup and bread. During the preaching, the recruit didn't understand a thing. He just sat there
and tried to look just like the man in the front pew. Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements. People clapped, so he looked to see if the man
was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped too.

Then the preacher said some words that he didn't understand and he saw the man next to him stand up. So he stood up too. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. A few people gasped. He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing. So he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood aat the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving. When the missionary recruit stretched his and to greet the preacher, the preacher said in English, "I take it you don't speak Spanish."

The missionary recruit replied, "No, I don't. Is it that obvious?"

"Well, yes," said the preacher. I announced that the Acosta family had a newborn
baby boy, and would the proud father please stand up."
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Some Will Roger's Wisdom.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman -- neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.


After eating an entire bull, a mountain
lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him, , , , The moral: When you are full of bull,
keep youtr mouth shut.

Bye for now, my friends. Take great care and be happy. Hugs and love to all. Merle.

Post 158 - - - - Tuesday, 6 th March, 2007.
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17 comments:

Don said...

Great jokes, Merle. I got one in the email today:

A woman goes into a chemist and asks for some cyanide. The chemist thinks this unusual, and says, "Why do you want cyanide?"

"To kill my husband," she replies quite calmly.

"I can't sell you cyanide knowing that you intend to commit murder!"

So the lady shows the chemist a photo of her husband in bed with the chemist's wife.

"Well, you didn't tell me you had a license for the stuff..."

Peter said...

Gee I can't leave you unattended for a few days without you winding up in hospital, glad to hear you are home and well.
I'm at Marcus' for a few days now will go to Perth on Friday probably, see you soon.

Leann said...

Glad your home and all went well.love the jokes.I will stop by again.God bless.

Val said...

I'll be you're glad to be home again, Merle.

Especially enjoyed the Men's Thesaurus.

Tammy said...

What a quick recovery!!
So happy...but don't try to overdo now!!
:-D

Raggedy said...

I am glad to hear you are home and doing well. I hope that you make a speedy recovery.
Thanks for the link in your last post.
March 5th is also the birthday of the little angel I have over on my side bar under "I Miss". She would have been 14 years old on the 5th. I still miss her.
Post 157 and 158 were awesome!
Take care and get plenty of rest.
Hugs and Love,
Raggedy

Christina said...

I'm glad you're home and doing well. Enjoyed the jokes!

take care

DellaB said...

Hi Merle,

I am glad everything went well for you and that you are home again. Don't forget to rest and take care of yourself.

Love the poem to blog friends, very expressive.

thanks
Della

mreddie said...

So glad you are home and well. I have noticed that men and women do mean different things by what they say. And Will Rogers is one of my favorites wits. ec

JunieRose2005 said...

Merle,

So glad you're doing well.

I haven't had much time the past few days to keep up with my blog reading as we have had company!

Take care,

Junie

Susie said...

I'm so glad you're home and that you felt well enough to post. Enjoyed all your jokes just as always.
Take care and don't overdo while you heal..
hugs!!

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

The poem says how I feel about you too =)

Praise the Lord!
Everything is fine and well with you, my friend.

Take care.
(((HUGS)))

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle.
pleased your home and well on the road to recovery.
laughed at the blonde jokes and the mens thesaurus.
Take care make sure you get plenty of rest, Love Janxxx

Puss-in-Boots said...

hahaha! The Men's Thesaurus...ain't that the truth?

Now, Merle, don't you go running any marathons for a day or two. Just take it easy. I'm glad you're home and hopefully feeling better.

Love and hugs xoxo

HORIZON said...

You really went into this with such a great attitude and optimism Merle- l am learning a great deal from you dear lady. So glad you are out the other end of it all now and will be saying a prayer for your speedy recovery. Lovely poem.
Much love and gentle hugs
xx

RUTH said...

Glad to see you're home safe and sound. What a wonderful poem and love the men's thesaurus!
Stay well
Rx

Margaret said...

Dear Merle, great that you are home again with it all behind you. Enjoyed everything on you posts as I usually do.
Love Margaret