Sunday, May 06, 2007

United States Map.

Post 202 - - - - Sunday, 6th May, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ Well our weekend is over in

Australia, but I hope the folks in the Northern

Hemisphere enjoy the rest of theirs. It has been

quiet here, but I am happy to say my son is home

after a long motor-cycle ride to Moree, which is a

very long way, almost to Queensland. He rang me

a while ago, tired, but safe at home !!

As most of you are aware , our dear friend, Ann

lost her daughter, Carol after a battle with cancer

a few days ago. My thoughts and prayers go out

to Ann and her great grand-daughters, who are

Carol’s grandchildren. It is such a sad time for

them all, but knowing Granny’s great spirit, she will

be OK and make sure the rest of the family are too.

Tonight’s story is called “United States Map.”

A father wanted to read a magazine and was being

bothered by his little girl, Shelbi.

She wanted to know what the United States looked


Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on

which was printed the map of the country.

Tearing it into little pieces, he gave it to Shelbi, and

said, “Go into the other room and see if you can put

this together. This will show you the whole country.”

After a few minutes, Shelbi returned and handed him

the map, correctly fitted and taped together.

The father was surprised and asked how she had finished

so quickly.

“Oh,” she said, “on the other side was a picture of Jesus.

When I got all Jesus back where He belonged, then our

country just came together.”

This one is worthy of repeating over and over again. Amen.


First jokes come from our friend Robyn. Thanks Robyn !

First one is called “Snapdragons.”

I just wanted you to know that I have entered the Snap-

Dragon part of my life.

Part of me has snapped, and the rest is draggin’.

Send this to every snapdragon you know.

I don’t Skinny Dip; I Chunky Dunk.

Dear IRS – I would like to cancel my subscription –

Please remove my name from your mailing list.

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

I’m not 40 Something; I’m $34-95, plus shipping

and handling.

I don’t have hot flushes; I have short, private

vacations in the Tropics.

If it’s not one thing; it’s your Mother.

A balaced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Born free; Now I’m expensive.

A friend is someone who thinks you’re a good

egg, even thogh your’re slightly cracked !!


A visitor came to Israel and saw the Wailing Wall.

Not being too versed in religious aspects, he asked

another tourist the significance of the wall.

The tourist explained. “This is a sacred wall. If you

pray to it, God may hear you.”

The visitor walked close to the wall and started to pray.

“Dear Lord,” he said, “bring sunshine and warmth to

this beautiful land.”

A commanding voice answered, “I will, my son.”

The visitor said, “Bring prosperity to this land.”

“I will, my son.”

“Let the Jews and Arabs live together in peace, dear Lord.”

The voice answered, “ You’re talking to a wall !!”


How Do These People Survive ???

I don’t know how many of these really happened, but

working with people, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu

that you order 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked

for half a dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen

nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “Yu don’t ?”

I replied. “We only have six, nine or twelve,” was the reply.

“So I can’t order half a dozen nuggets, but I can order six?”

“That’s right.” So I shook my head and ordered 6 McNuggets.


Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.

One day she found herself almost out of typing paper and asked a secretary ‘What do I do ?” “Just use copier machine

paper.” With that, the intern took her last remaining blank

sheet of ppaper, put it in the photocopier and proceeded to

make five “blank “ copies.


I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in

dire need of repair and the whole thng looked like an extra in

“Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened.

He told me that the driver had set the “cruise control” and

then went back to make a sandwich.


A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy

drive and pulling it out very quickly. When asked what she was

doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they

kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the

ATM “thingy.”


IDIOTS At WORK . . .Sign in a gas station : Coke –49 cents.

Two for a dollar.


If we had no winter the spring would not be so pleasant.

- - - Anne Bradstreet.

The shortest answer is doing. - - - English proverb.

Happiness is getting what you want.

Joy is knowing you are never alone.

May my house always be too small to hold all my friends.

- - - Myrtle Reed.

Bye for now, my friends. Love and best wishes, Merle.

Post 202 - - - - Sunday, 6th May, 2007.


PEA said...

Hello dear Merle! I wanted to comment on your previous post yesterday but you didn't have the comment section open! I'm glad you have it on this post:-) It truly is very sad about Ann losing her daughter to I told her, although it was expected, it's still very hard to lose a loved one. My heart goes out to her and her family. I so enjoyed your post again today...I laughed at the half dozen nuggets...sad but true that some of our teens can be so...shall we call it...dumb? lol It's a beautiful Sunday morning here and I'm just about ready to go out and do some more yard work:-) Hugs xoxo

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Meow said...

Hi Merle,
That's an "intersting" bit of spam you have in the comments there !! Hmmmmm!!
So terribly sad about Ann's daughter ... I hadn't had a chance to comment on her blog yet, although I had read what happened.
Glad you had fun with Jeanette and Gwen ... it's fun catching up with fellow bloggers. We Victorian bloggers should arrange a day somewhere central, so we can all meet !! Or perhaps, as Peter suggested, he may bring you down to Melbourne next time he is down !! It was lovely meeting Val. Isn't it funny, we visit one another's blogs, and almost feel like we really know one another. The blog world is just amazing.
Take care, dear Merle.
Hugs, Meow xx

Granny said...

Thank you Merle.

You do know you can delete comments? That's what the little trash can is for.

Jim said...

Merle, I am very sorry about your friend, Anne, and her daughter.

Please, please, don't delete me!!
Generally when I hear that map joke it is a world map the dad tears up.
Maybe that lady had one of those new readers for her credit card.
Really, I liked every one of you jokes today.

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
That was sad news about Ann's daughter. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child..
Loved the US map story!!
Take care!!

Lee said...

Sorry to read about the death of your friend Ann's daughter, Merle. This is a very sad time for her and the rest of the family, but it's a blessing in disguise that her daughter is no longer in pain.

I watched my brother go through the agonies of cancer and his passing...and do not wish that upon anyone.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh, I do like that last one...may my house be too small to hold all of my friends...very nice.

It's so sad for Ann, but at least the battle is over and Carol is out of pain.

Good to read your funnies, Merle, even though some came from!

Hugs xoxo

eredux said...

Check this site out, has United States Interactive Carbon Footprint Map, illustrating Greenest States. This site has all sorts of stats on individual State energy consumptions, demographics and State energy offices.