Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Doves for You.

Post 316 - - - - - Wednesday, 19th September, 2007.

Hello My Friends ~~ I hope this finds you all well and happy
wherever you are in this wonderful world of ours. I am doing
well and have no complaints. John called in a day or so ago
to put a new light globe in for me. I hadn't seen him for three
weeks and was pleasantly surprised at how well he looked.
He said he nearly forgot where I lived. Glad he is better !!




Tonight I have a picture of the cake my granddaughter bought me
for my 70th birthday. It has a pic of my Carlton Football team's logo.
It was great Bec - that was 3 years ago and a lot of us went out for
a lovely meal together. Thanks Bec, and John and Geoff and family.

Tonight's first item was sent to me by my daughter Julie and also
my friend Linda. Many thanks to you both.

Doves for you.
On the wings of a snow white dove,
He send His pure sweet love.

Hello God, I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.

You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own. . .
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll never feel alone.

I want to ask you please to keep,
My family safe and sound,
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.

Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change any way.

I thank you God for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.

Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.

So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You too,
And I'll call again tomorrow.

P.S. Please bless all my friends and family too.
<><>

Joke time - - - Hi Walter !!
The Blonde Waitress Gets Even.

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe, and placed his order.
He said, " I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a
pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid,
she went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out
there just ordered 3 flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of
running boards. What does he think this place is - - an auto
parts store ?"
"No," said the cook, Three flat tires means 3 pancakes, a pair
of headlights means 2 eggs sunny side up, and running boards
are 2 slices of bacon."

"Oh, OK !" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment
and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker says, "What are the beans for Blondie ?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the tires, the
headlights and the running boards, you might as well gas up !!"

For once the blonde gets even.
<><>
Some observations from Robyn on "As I Mature."

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can
do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself with others . . .
they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless
we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house, one of the kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are
taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just
never go away.
<><>

I recently visited a new doctor. After two visits to the GP and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age.

A little concerned about that comment I couldn't resist asking
him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80 ?"

He asked, :Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine ?"
"Oh, no," I replied, "I'm not doing drugs either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib eye steaks and barbecued ribs ?"
"No, I don't." I said, "My former doctor said red meat was
unhealthy."

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking or bicycling ?"
"No," I said.
He asked, " Do you gamble, drive fast cars or have too much sex ?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things,"

He looked at me and said, "Then why in the hell would you want
to live to be 80 ?"
<><>

A man walks into a pharmacy (drug store) with his 8 year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the lad asks,
"What are these, Dad ?"

To which the father matter of factly replies, "Those are called
condoms, Son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I see," replied the boy, I 've heard about them in health class.
at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a pack of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package ?"

The dad replies, " Those are for university boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"Cool," says the boy.

He notices a six pack and asks, "Then what are these for?"
"Those are for bachelors," the dad answers, "Two for Friday,
2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday."
"Wow !" exclaimed the boy.

"Then, what are THESE ?" he asks picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "These are for
married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for
March . . . . ."
<><>

A woman gets on a bus and is disgusted when a little old man
stands up to give her his seat.
"Patronising old fool." she mutters as she pushes him back down.

A minute later, another woman gets on and the old man rises to
his feet once more.
"Male chauvinist pig," seethes the woman as she pushes him
back down again.

The bus stops again and more women got on, and once more the
little old man attempts to stand up.

"You're living in the Stone Age" hisses the woman as she pushes
him down.

"For Heaven's sake !" wails the little old man. "Will, you let me get
off ? I've missed three stops already !"
<><>
And just a few quotes to finish with - - -

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything
they ever dreamed of so that they can see that it's not the answer.
- - -Jim Carrey.

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning
and go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
- - - - Cary Grant.

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life
when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
- - - - Fran Leibowitz.

Happiness is having a large, loving caring, close-knit family, in
another city. - - - - George Burns.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365 day journey around
the sun. - - - Author Unknown.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also
turns to the left. - - - - Jerry M. Wright.

Bye for now folks ~~ see you next time. Enjoy your lives and be
kind to each other. Love and best wishes. Cheers, Merle.

Post 316 - - - - Wednesday, 19th September, 2007.
<><><>


11 comments:

Ava said...

Hi Merle!

What a lovely birthday cake! Happy birthday to you, young lady!!!!

Mountain Mama said...

You posted a picture of your pretty 70th birthday cake and I'm wondering if it's your birthday? If so I wish you a wonderful one.
It so nice that John could come and replace the light globe for you. I have a daughter and a son-in-law who help me out a lot.

Loved your jokes and am still chuckling over the blonde waitress and the beans. I sent it to some on my list again. Thanks for supplying me with so many funnies.
Blessings Merle

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Your birthday cake is so lovely =)
I'm very happy to know that John is feeling better once again.

Take care.
Much (((HUGS))) and <3 my friend.

Lady Di Tn said...

I love the item that was sent by daughter and friend. I need to copy and send to my Big Sis.

Lol about the guy trying to get off the bus.

I try to make bed by 9 but it is usually 10 but I get up at 5 am. You are still in dream land when I wake.

So happy John is better and can stop by to help out.

Bec sure did good on the cake for the 70th.

Take care love and prayers

Catherine said...

Happy "70" Birthday!!

Great jokes...especially like the blonde waitress one...:)

Hugs,
Catherine

Granny said...

Lovely cake.

I think the condom joke is my favorite of this batch.

Lee said...

Great posts again, as usual, Merle. You always give us something to chuckle over. :)

I'm going crazy here with hunger. I've got a small leg of lamb in the oven and am just about to put the vegies in...the delicious aroma is driving me insane! lol I made a large jar of fresh mint sauce earlier...I've got lots of herbs growing...and the lamb is studded with garlic and fresh rosemary and laying on a bed of both rosemary, Italian parsley and oregano (from my garden)with some balsamic vinegar splashed over!

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Merle,

I'm back for my doses of cheer and and fun. Love the prayer/poem to God. The jokes are always funny. The visit always worthwhile!

Fond regards,

Renie

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle, just playing catch up tonight. I'm glad John is better. That was a horrible flu, knocked people about for weeks and some had two or even three times. However, the weather is getting warmer, so the flu bug is on the run.

Hope all is well with you, dear friend. Hugs xoxo

Kathy said...

Merle my dear. Looks like you guys(Carlton) have a good chance of snaring our beloved former Eagle Chris Judd!
Good luck to you Merle. Much prefer he goes to you guys than to bloody Collingwood!

Vivienne said...

Hello Merle. Just figured out how I might leave a comment. Yes I was surprised!! I'm on the net quite regularly now following my son on his trip - in Helsinki now. Love your camillias. Kind regards